Well, that was a movie that happened!  So glad I saw it with someone else, by the time we were 5 minutes in, my friend Dina and I were already getting the giggles just by exchanging glances.  But it was kind of neat how it made me think back and really appreciate other better versions. (no spoiler review here) (oh, and I just remembered, I did a post already on the history of dance on film in general, you should read that here)

I’m just gonna go right through this sucker!  We open in 1995.  Ronit Roy is an aging back-up dancer with a Michael Jackson gimmick.  Of course, in “real” 1995, he was in this movie.

 

On his way home, Ronit finds a tiny baby abandoned in a dumpster and decides to take it home and raise it.  Like Akshay in Jaanwar, and yet somehow more ridiculous and also more dull.

 

Baby Tiger grows up into real Tiger, dedicated to dance and Michael Jackson through an almost cool time changing montage.  But it’s still not as good as this, which was of course also not as good as the original that inspired it from Singin’ the Rain.

 

He grows up and builds a dance crew that goes around and suckers rich kids into club dance offs and then takes their money (is this a thing?  I never go out after dark, I don’t know what happens in clubs!).  It’s almost identical to Prabhu Deva in ABCD except without being good.

 

But then they are banned from all the Bombay clubs because of illegal dancing?  Or something?  Anyway, they are out, so Tiger goes to Delhi to pull the same scam, gets into a dance battle that turns into a real battle with a bratty club kid, the bratty club kid is the younger brother of Nawazuddin, a local don type guy, who then hires Tiger to teach him how to dance because he is in love with Nidhi Agarwal, a dancer.  It’s like Let’s Make Love, only with Nawazuddin and Tiger instead of Yves Montand and Gene Kelly.

(this is the strangest movie.  I’m not even sure if I should recommend it or not)

Nawazuddin takes Tiger to go see Nidhi at her dance hall place and she does a terrible and kind of dull dance.  Not nearly as good as this one, also from Jaanwar (that movie really does have everything!)

 

Tiger helps Nawazuddin to woo Nidhi by befriending her, but is torn because he finds himself falling for her and she for him.  It’s kind of like this, only worse because it’s Tiger and a model/actress instead of Prabhdeva and Kajol.

 

But then Nidhi runs away after Nawazuddin’s brother scares her and goes to Bombay to follow her dreams and win a dance contest.  Tiger is sent to track her down, finds her, but then is touched by the purity of her dreams and offers to help.  And this sounds stupid, but it is not in fact as stupid as Lafangay Parindey.

(He accidentally blinds her, so then decides to help her win the big roller dancing contest that is her lifelong ambition using the skills he developed by boxing blindfolded in an underground fight ring.  It’s not as good as it sounds)

They put together a crew and start practicing, Tiger the whole time pretending he can’t dance, but secretly helping to train the crew.  Nidhi figures it out and confronts him and insists he admit he is in love with her and become her boyfriend.  It’s very similar to this song, but much worse because no Madhuri (although Sanjay Kapoor=Tiger Shroff).

 

So, they admit they are in love, and suddenly are transported to Petra in Jordan (HOW WERE THEY ABLE TO FILM THERE????).  Which is a transparent imitation of the Grand Canyon dance in ABCD 2, which isn’t even that great of a dance, but is still better than this one.

 

Nawazuddin figures out what is happening right before the big final dance (oh no!) and forces Tiger to take Nidhi back to Delhi for him by kidnapping Tiger’s beloved father Ronit Roy.  But Nidhi rejects him, and Ronit Roy gives his blessing, so they hurry back to Bombay, interrupted on the way by a fight scene, but doesn’t matter, they show up just in time for the big dance and when Nidhi slips and messes up, Tiger leaps in to save her dance team (despite never being an official contestant, I don’t understand TV  dance shows), tying a handkerchief around his leg to stop the bleeding.  Like Shahrukh did for the end of Koyla except in that case HE REALLY WAS INJURED.

(See the face of “my knee cap is falling off but we can’t break the filming schedule so I just tied it back on with Madhuri’s Dupatta”?)

Oh, and then they win the big competition thing, what a SHOCK.  But only after the hero’s father leads the audience in chanting his name.  Like Strictly Ballroom, only not incredibly inventive and beautiful and making me cry every time.  And with chanting instead of clapping.

 

And finally, there is a confrontation between Nawazuddin and Tiger over Tiger “stealing” Nidhi.  And Tiger says it doesn’t matter who loves her more, it matters who SHE loves.  Which I don’t have a reference for because I can’t think of a movie where this was actually said out loud before!  It’s always about the two guys deciding who the girl gets to end up with!  So, good on Sabbir Khan!  One moment of originality in the whole thing.