Monday Morning Questions! With A Question For You! What is Your Film Star Fantasy?

Happy Monday!  Don’t worry, I know it is Aamir Week, he will get his celebration and question on Wednesday.  But first, a general question and general discussion post!

As always, you can ask me anything you want from the personal (“what was the first Aamir movie you watched?”) to the specific and factual (“what was Aamir’s first movie?”) to the general (“should we consider Yaadon Ki Baarat, Holi, or Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak as Aamir’s ‘real’ first film?”)

The only rule is, if someone asks a question you think you can answer, you have to let me answer first!  The discussion just goes better that way.  But once I have answered, feel free to leap in and add whatever you want.

 

Now, question for you!  What is your film star fantasy? 

Procrastinatrix brought this up last week and said her fantasy would be a small dinner party with SRK at which they discuss political theories, followed by a spirited game of Scrabble or Boggle or something like that.

 

My fantasy, I think, would be Shahrukh to be my editor, read over my posts and give notes.  Aamir to help redesign my website (you know he wouldn’t rest until it was perfect).  And Salman to throw me a party when it was all done.  How about you?

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154 thoughts on “Monday Morning Questions! With A Question For You! What is Your Film Star Fantasy?

  1. Happy monday!
    My film fantasy is that indian filmakers discover how beautiful Sicily is and come numerous to make movies here so I can stalk them. Of course we all know who would make me the happiest, if I could meet him 😉

    My questions:
    Do you know any hindi/indian movie with sex reverse Devdas plot? I mean, the girl gets dumped and start drinking/doing drugs/go crazy.
    And other one, more request then question:
    Do you consider doing Hindi 101 posts about directors? I would love to read your articles about the most famous directors now (especially about Mani Ratnam and Gautham Menon even if I know they are not hindi)

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    • Filming in Sicily is a great fantasy! I’ve had that with filming in Chicago, and it was wonderful, not just everyone famous being here, but seeing places I recognized in the final film. I wish more movies would film here instead of always New York.

      I am sure there is a movie with a reverse Devdas plot, some Malayalam classic if nothing else, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. Part of the problem would be the social dynamics for men versus women in love in India. A woman who is left is supposed to always stay in love with the men, while part of Dev’s pain is that no one accepted it, they all thought he should just get over it. Plus, Paro could never marry Dev once she was married to someone else, but of course if you flip the genders, it would be more acceptable for a man to take a second wife, or (in modern times) get a divorce and remarry. But again, I am sure there is something that comes close, I am just not thinking of it, maybe someone else will.

      I definitely couldn’t do a Hindi Film 101 on any directors outside of the Hindi industry, I’m not qualified. But someone like Guru Dutt or Raj Kapoor or Bhansali, sure! I already did Yash Chopra and Adi and BR as part of the Chopra family post. And I did a Starter Kit that gives you some directors to look for and films to watch (I think? I can’t remember all the Starter Kits I have done)

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 7:19 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • I read all your starter posts and 101 too, and that’s why I asked about others because nobody explains industry like you. I learn a lot thanks to your articles.

        And you know why I asked about reverse Devdas plot? Because Prem Aggan inspired me. Spoiler (even if nobody watches Prem Aggan for plot I guess) – when the protagonists get separated, the girl starts drinking. Sure it was all done in very 90′ and silly way, but I thought it was a great idea, and started wondering if I heard about similar plot. But the only thing that comes to my mind is Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam.

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        • Oh Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam is a great idea! And I think one of many like that, the heroine who is abandoned by her husband and pines for him. But it’s always the husband, not the boyfriend. Oh! Gangster! I think that might have been similar with a woman turning to drink after her heart is broken. But of course I can’t watch it, because of the Shiney Ahuja factor.

          And so nice to hear someone is reading all my Starter Kits and 101s! Viewing has dropped off considerably for them, which is why I don’t do many,

          On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 3:26 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • No, it was on my “someday” list, and then the Shiney story came out and it dropped to the “can never watch it” list. But based on songs and wikipedia, it does sound a little bit like a female Devdas, she tries to drink away memories of her first love.

            Speaking of Kangana, could Queen be considered a female Devdas? She loses her one true love since childhood and goes off and gets drunk and tries to forget? Only, this time, she actually succeeds in forgetting.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 4:50 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I know your aversion to Shiney so I won’t tell “you should watch it”. But I loved this movie, and yes, it has Devdas vibes, because she drinks to forget and makes terrible irredeemable mistakes because of the solitude.
            But Queen, in my opinion has nothing to do with Devdas. Yes, there is a break-up and some drinks and sadness, but it’s never tragic or irreparable.

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    • How about Cocktail?

      Deepika’s Veronica character is Devdas-like. Just not as melodramatic, more a realistic portrait. You probably know women like her IRL.

      Unfortunately, you end up walking away thinking that the movie wasn’t fair to her, and that Saif in Paro’s role makes the safe self-serving male-chauvinist choice. But I guess that’s the male equivalent of a female (Paro) in a patriarchal society making the family sanctioned choice, since it’s also the safe choice (and self serving insofar as it makes the least waves).

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    • Nee-Na Malayalam movie.. tomboyish girl falling in love with a married man(co worker/boss),going over the edge,him helping her recover through rehab, she gets better & leaves after realising that they are devoted to each other. The title is from the names of the girl & wife(Neena & Nalini.

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  2. Funny, but I’ve outgrown fantasizing about stars, at least the Hindi ones. Now I just take them for their performances and that’s it. So the only fantasy I can come up with right now is to spend a day with Prabhas, watching him work, but also having a good few hours to talk with him and get to know him (though he probably wouldn’t say anything, since he’s so shy).

    I didn’t really have a question for you, but I’ll try to manufacture one. Have you ever seen the Telugu film Jagadeka Veerudu Atiloka Sundari, with Chiranjeevi and Sridevi? After re-watching Kshana Kshanam last week (where I was impressed with what an extremely innovative and tight thriller it is), I have now started to watch this film, which I liked quite a bit when I first watched it. I couldn’t find a version with subtitles on Youtube, but maybe you can hunt up a subtitled dvd.

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    • That is an excellent fantasy! And just what I was looking for. I’m not sure why everyone went in the “sexy” direction, I meant this kind of fantasy, who would you like to talk to about their work, or their charity, or their politics.

      I have not seen that movie, but it sounds fun!

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 7:38 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Glad my fantasy prompted a Monday morning question! I’m going to elaborate here in a self-indulgent way because that is much more fun than the tasks I have lined up at work. Also just in case Shah Rukh reads this and wants to invite me over. Heh.

    I’m not envisioning a dinner party, nothing that formal. More like a small group of folks lounging around Mannat’s library or “farmhouse” at the beach in comfy clothes, no where to go, nothing to do. There are snacks and drinks around, people are coming and going, like that. (By the way, have we discussed that whole thing about the farmhouse getting seized because it was purchased and registered as a working farm? I mean–how hard would it have been to plant a couple big herb gardens? They could have made a mint off of “Jab Harry met Herbs de Provence”, “Don’s Italian Seasoning Blend”, and “Dil Se Salad Dressing Mix”!)

    I want to discuss, specifically, radical vs liberal politics, including rad vs lib feminism. Radical in the sense of wanting to transform the structure of society and human relationships vs liberal in the sense of wanting to tweak things to reduce harm and increase participation. This is because I think Shah Rukh is a pretty classical liberal guy, and I’m a pretty radical gal, and it would be fun to discuss. Indians I’ve read and talked to about this stuff have a different perspective because their post-colonial political and economic scene has been much more collectivist/socialist than the US has ever been. They have had a more grounded sense of the perils and possibilities of radical socio-political movements than Americans I talk to.

    Having said that, I’d be delighted to talk about whatever Shah Rukh and company are in the mood for–life, the universe, and everything (TM). I know he says he’s often quiet, but he must get into a philosophical chatty mood once in a while, right?

    My questions–did you read Wrinkle in Time as a child? Do you plan to see it in the theater? I have lots to say about the movie but will wait til watching Wednesday. 🙂

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    • My impression from written interviews is that if you get him in the right mood, he will talk and talk. But otherwise will give witty and yet not that deep sort of responses. You know? there’s a different feel to some interviews, like he is really talking because he wants to talk and not because it is his job. So I think a lazy weekend would be the best option, at some point over those two days, if you wait for it, he will feel ready to open up and have a real discussion. Hopefully one of those “let me circle back to that point you made 3 hours ago, I’ve been thinking about it since then” kind of discussions that just last and last and go every where.

      For the “farmhouse” thing, it’s so interesting! India seems to have land use laws that are unfamiliar to me from America (but I suspect are not unfamiliar in other countries). Laws that are good in theory, keeping certain land set aside for agricultural purposes and so on, but which change sooooooooooooo slowly that they don’t really work. My impression of how thins work around me is that getting something rezoned takes a year at most and either happens or doesn’t happen. I don’t hear many stories of people fighting the zoning for years, and I certainly never hear about illegal building. But somehow it sounds like in India something simple like rezoning land from agriculture to residential could take decades? Even if it doesn’t really make sense for the land to be agricultural any more. Anyway, I think Salman also has a farmhouse and actually farms, so you are right, that’s by far the simplest solution. And then you get fresh vegetables! Who doesn’t love that? It’s what I would do if I had the money to hire people to farm my land for me.

      I did read A Wrinkle in Time, and the rest of the series and some other random books by L’Engle. She did another series and a few one off books that weren’t mystical/scientific in nature, but were grounded in reality. However, I read them when I was just slightly too old to have that strong sort of imprint on me, you know? The Wizard of Oz books, Betsy-Tacy, Anne of Green Gables, An Ordinary Princess, those are ones that immediately sweep me back to childhood and take me away. A Wrinkle in TIme I enjoyed as a child, but I didn’t love-love in the same way.

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 8:56 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Yes! Exactly that kind of conversation is what I would dearly love.

        The Wizard of Oz books and the Mary Poppins books are such great and deeply weird kid’s series. They were done a disservice in some ways by the incredibly popular movies done of them, I think. I’ve never heard of Betsy-Tacy. Googling now…

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        • Betsy-Tacy is AMAZING!!!!! Our heroine grows from 7 (I think) to 24, and the books grow in complexity along with her. And her life isn’t just about boys (although there is a great love triangle between the boy who is dashing and dangerous and the boy who is really smart and “gets” her), she wants to be a writer and a lot of it is about her struggling to improve her abilities and figuring out how to balance her social life with her ambitions and all sorts of interesting things. It’s semi based on the author’s real life, growing up in the suburbs of Minneapolis around the turn of the last century.

          The Wizard of Oz books were my favorite, and the complicated world building and clever puns and all sorts of other things don’t really kick into gear until after the first book, it’s too bad that the first book is the only one people remember.

          On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 9:43 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • Aren’t you afraid of knowing exactly where he stands on issues you feel so passionately feel about? I don’t even remember the last time I heard him talk passionately about anything. He’s just so rock solid set in the image he has curated. I guess if I were doing a SRK fantasy, I’d wanna be his drinking buddy for an evening in some shady outlet, somewhere he would’ve be caught dead at normally but for the purpose of this fantasy he’d be there and I’d be there and we’d be drinking and talking and cursing and going over to the dark side and of course there has to be a drunk fight. I wanna see his dilli come out from behind all the prim and proper

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      • Well, we know he is capable of a drunk fight, because he’s gotten into one in the past (Shirish Kundar). So this seems doable! He’d have to be in disguise or something though, because I don’t know how else he could go unnoticed even in a dive bar. His last drunk fight was headlines for days.

        Although, oh! Let’s expand the fantasy! We know he has this angry fire inside him, but we know there have been very few stories about it. So maybe he already is going to dive bars and getting in fights? Maybe there is some sort of Fight Club thing happening, and all the stories of onset injuries are just cover for it? Maybe he has a standard disguise that he wears (just like dying his hair grey and changing his clothes), and a list of dive bars every where he goes, and he sneaks out of his hotel room and away from his bodyguards and goes off and gets drunk with the common man and gets into brawls, and then sneaks back the next day? And it’s how he stays so controlled and perfect in public, and the indulgent gentle father and loving husband and everything else? You could be his friend! The one person who recognizes him and gets to go on these adventures with him!

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        • Or he does this pretty regularly and every time he gets recognised he tells people a very polite “thank you boss” after which he “reveals” he’s SRK’s body double and his name is actually Majid or something and then he entertains them with weird trivia about “SRK”.

          He has a few favorite haunts where everyone buys this story. Except maybe the old timey barkeep or the owner.

          Maybe he does this pretty often. Go undercover as his own body double. To live a “normal” life.

          Of course this once, when I meet him, and I’m at that bar because I’m me and of course I could have a very legitimate reason to be there. It starts with a very logical assessment on my part where I stare at him for a while and then figure “why would SRK be at this seedy bar” and eventually when I chat him up and he tells me his “story” I’m like yea I figured you probably do that for a living. So then he starts telling me about SRK. The drunker he gets, the more detailed the stories get. At some point, I call his BS which makes him very angry and he just snaps at the next person trying to take a selfie with him. Drunk fight happens. And then I come back and tell you about it because that’s how my life usually goes. Something crazy happens and the person who would most enjoy that story gets to hear about it!! 😂

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          • Love the idea of him just lying and saying he is his own stunt double! We know from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Fan that he is capable of seeming unrecognizable just from changing his body language.

            I also kind of want a follow-up to Fan with this plot, where he reveals deep self-loathing and awareness through the way he complains about his “boss” Shahrukh while he is in disguise as his own stunt double. Heck, fictionalize it slightly, remove Gauri, and he could have this whole complicated romance with the call girl/item girl who works the bar, as “Shahrukh” he tries to hire her for his movie and give her a better life, but she hates him because she is in love with his put upon stunt double.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 11:40 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I wanna take this further where he tells us/me/the drinking companion for the evening that Gauri and SRK aren’t even married. That they invented that whole story because they both needed a fake spouse to escape an arranged marriage at the time. And they’ve both held up the facade all these years. The kids aren’t theirs. They just chanced upon these children that bore resemblance to their baby selves.

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          • No! That’s so sad! This family of people who don’t love each other! On the other hand, totally seems like something cheeky pretending SRK would tell as a lie to his drinking companion just to see what he can stir up.

            Heck, I strongly suspect that is how a lot of the more outrageous rumors get started, the celebrity just gets bored of it all and says something totally ridiculous like “yeah, sure, we’re all sleeping together” and the person they told it to tells someone else and so on and so on.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:13 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • No not sad. Incredible. These two are BFFs who did each other a solid and stuck to it. He, so he can live the life of a playboy without the judgement and she so she can be with the guy she’s always loved without worrying about marriage. Because her dude is an older married army dude who would lose his reputation if their affair becomes public knowledge. He of course fesses up to it because the girls he fell in love with, juhi and Kajol, never saw him as anything more than their best friend.

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          • But it’s 30 years of wasted life! Neither of them with the ones they truly love. I mean, great sacrifice, but still sad.

            Kind of reminds me of the Vidya fanfic I wrote this week, only in that one Miss Braganza came up with a way to give everybody the happy ending they deserved.

            Only way I will accept your SRK option is if he and Karan really are a thing. Karan is Gauri’s best friend, learned the truth years ago, and they have been a happy threesome ever since, raising the kids together and everything.

            Eh, no, I’m still sad. I think my Shahrukh fantasies have to have Gauri either never existing, or dead.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:23 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Hey, in my fantasy, she had a good life with wonderful children and a loving husband! Just, it ended early so her husband is free to be with someone else.

            Or, my real preference, that she just never existed at all. Which I find very believable, if Shahrukh hadn’t been brave enough to approach her as a teenager, I don’t know if he ever would have been brave enough to approach any other woman, so he would be left lonely and isolated, cruising dive bars to get away from his fame.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:35 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Well divorce does exist and they’ve been married so long if they were to wake up one day and go “we can’t be married anymore. Let’s end this” it could leave him available without gauri dying. She can move to Russia with some billionaire husband soon after. That way, the kids still exist and they still have both their parents.

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          • But I won’t love Shahrukh any more if he isn’t happily married! I’m sorry, death is the only option. Followed by a miserable mourning period, at the end of which he feels alive again thanks to a surprise late in life romance.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:42 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • I wouldn’t mind seeing his dilli either. https://www.myinstants.com/instant/rimshot/

        I’d be fine with disagreement–it’s a big old world, people and life are complicated. What would ruin it is if he were arrogant, bored, dismissive, or patronizing–with no interest in listening to me or anyone else in the room. But it’s a fantasy, so he wouldn’t be. 🙂

        I like this fantasy because it’s semi-realistic. And, to be honest, having a meandering hours long conversation with some one you’re attracted to is not unlike having sex with them. It’s creative, it’s give and take, it’s silly, it’s passionate, and leaves you feeling exhausted but satisfied. And playing board games with someone is also a good way to get to know them.

        I am down with your stealth dive bar drinking buddy fantasy! I’d enjoy witnessing him get into a knock-down drag-out verbal fight with someone. Physical fights scare me and make me sad though.

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          • I think what we would be looking for is a “gaali” (sp?) fight. Combined with him (finally) letting loose all that anger at stupidity that you can see boiling inside during some interviews. Like, if some pretentious college kid slumming came up to him at the bar and asked “why does your boss [Shahrukh] always play the same character over and over again?” and he could finally give the angry passionate answer you just know he keeps tamping down when interviews ask him.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:06 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Gaali is correct. Although I do think he’d be more angry at people putting him on a pedestal. That’s something I personally hate about his persona. It’s too squeaky clean. It somehow is very hard to digest. I wanna know what his damage is.

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          • Maybe some college kid comes up to him at a bar and challenges him over having lead a “charmed” life. And, under the persona of SRK’s body double, he lets loose on all the things SRK has to put up with and has survived and so on.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:18 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Twist. Majid the stunt double is actually the stunt double that’s been doing all of SRK’s roles and appearances for the last two and a half decades. The real SRK injured himself during the first shot of DDLJ and he secretly let his body double do the film. It worked. So the real SRK, who’s tired of the fame, tells Majid to continue working as him. He’s decided he can’t do the Bollywood life after all. But Majid has the hunger and a large family to feed and clothe and house and no other breadwinner.

            Majid can’t work on his own as an actor and SRK doesn’t want to. So they make this agreement. He can use his identity to work and in return he only needs to pay a portion of his earnings to SRK who trains him further, takes care of his financial planning etc so Majid never has to worry about making wrong decisions. But Majid can’t forget his roots. So he comes to these places to feel normal every once in a while

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          • Oh that is so strange! Oh I don’t know how I feel about this! Because, see, I am in love with Shahrukh on and off screen. I don’t want to split my heart in two!

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:34 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • That’s the twist. The pre-DDLJ SRK is another guy. And Every single appearance after that is Majid who you fell in love with. 😂 so who are you really in love with??

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          • But I’m also in love with SRK in public appearances and interviews and photos with his children! Where do I draw the line?

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:38 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • And now we go back to the problem of Gauri existing in any Shahrukh fantasy, even if it is a different name.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:48 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Twist in the twist. It’s never been SRK. He’s was a slacker in college who landed a role in a play back then and he takes the poor unnoticed stagehand who took that job to pay for his government college tuition under his wing like a personal assistant. So Majid, styles himself after Shahrukh bhai, gets the clothes he discards, cleans up his flat, does his dishes, cleans his car, etc while the real SRK parties and blows off his family money. This once, SRK blows off a play to go get drunk and laid and Majid, wearing his hand me downs, shows up there to tell them he quit the play. It’s 10 minutes to curtains up and since Majid looks so much like SRK, and it’s dim stage lighting, people just mistake him for SRK and he’s shoved on stage. Of course he knows all the lines because he’s seen SRK stumble drunk through them at home. Majid impresses one and all. Only one person knows his real identity. It’s one of SRK’s family friends who doesn’t want to break his mother’s heart by telling her her son is a slacker and no good. So HE makes the offer to Majid. He can assume SRK’s identity. BUT, he will always have to carry SRK. He will get the chance to work, make more money than he can imagine and have all those things but he only needs to keep the facade up. Gauri and the kids exist but none of them know Majid is Majid and not SRK. Majid has always remembered his place.

            And I just realised I’m telling you the Don Draper story!! 😂

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          • I knew it sounded familiar! I haven’t even watched Mad Man and I still knew this story.

            The flaw is, of course, the “real” Shahrukh wasn’t that wealthy. He wasn’t poor, but he wasn’t rich and I can’t see someone wanting to steal his identity. Maybe for the education part of it? And some minor family friend connections. But the kind of person and kind of life style the poor Mahij would have is awfully close to what the “real” Shahrukh had.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 1:00 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Considering what 80% of the country lives like, SRK’s family was plenty wealthy. They were Delhi middle class with connections. That’s plenty. Imagine a guy from the slums who wants to escape that life and he somehow lands a job cleaning up at the theatre and that gets him another job as a cleaning dude for this middle class drunk dude who treats him like a real person and then he gets mistaken for the same middle class dude??! And that gets him a job and an invite to the pretty actually wealthy semi royalty actress’ party where he gets all the love and acceptance he can never even dream of?! This is a world that never let’s you forget where you came from. Almost all our theatre background bollywood liberals are decent/privileged middle class people who could afford to be liberal. The people from the slums are always marginalised. Money and success doesn’t matter. Look at Rakhi Sawant and Kangana. Now imagine a male version of them only that guy got a chance to pretend he’s one of the decent middle class liberals.

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  4. Hmmm…I have a massive girl crush/respect for Anushka Sharma and it would be so cool to be part of her world. I would happily be her personal assistant/bestie. I’ve also previously mentioned my dream of attending a Farah Khan game night with her besties in attendance like Neha Dhupia, etc.

    I’ve also begun to age out of those sexier fantasies of film stars. Partly because the more you follow their personal lives, the more you tend to be disillusioned and I am far too aware of filmi gossip. I think only Arjun Kapoor truly intrigues me in that sense:)

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    • Ooo, I like your Anushka fantasy! I might borrow that, only instead of Anushka, it would be Sonam, and I would want to spend a day watching her at work at her production house, because it feels like she is a totally different person when working on the producing part of things than the Sonam we see in interviews.

      And no worries about a non-sexy fantasy! That’s the kind of thing I was going for, I think sexy fantasies are probably pretty boring and predictable, but non-sexy ones are really interesting.

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 9:08 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • But you should hear my Arjun Kapoor one;) He seems to like older women which I appreciate!

        Sonam would be my other fantasy BFF, too. Just getting to experience how she and Rhea work with her fashion icon status. AND Sonam is such a big reader and she’s much smarter than her interviews and her screen presence seems to show…she’d be really fun to pitch book to film ideas to…

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        • Oh and my third ideal Hindi film BFF would be Anupama Chopra. I’ve always liked her personal style and how she’s willing to make fun of herself. Plus, she knows everyone and I love how she likes to highlight the views of younger critics on her website.

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          • Anupama reminds me of my college lit prof. I loved her to bits for how she opened up this entire new world of literary analysis to me but she was the dullest person to hang out with. I don’t think any of us ever got to know her as a person because she always always talked about her work ie literature!

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    • I’ll see you and raise you one on the Anushka idea. My fantasy is to BE Anushka. To live inside her mind, experience her personality, choices, life events, and inner thoughts first hand. She’s definitely intriguing and interesting as a human being.

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  5. I’ve got so many ideas.First I’d like to talk Karan Johar’s ear off (perhaps during a flight where he doesn’t have the option to get up and escape) about all the Malayalam movies that I want him to remake.Starting with Om Shanti Oshana with Alia.Kajol is a bookworm.So I’d love to discuss books with her-especially romance novels which can be made into Hindi movies.John Abraham once mentioned that he buys land wherever he goes.So I’d like to go on a buying trip with him.(It’s a Malayali thing 🙂 ) He’d probably advise me to hit the gym more frequently and to switch to a vegetarian diet.But never mind.I read Prakash Jha’s making of Rajneeti, the movie.I’d love to discuss Mahabharata with him and how the characters of Rajneeti tied up with their counterparts in the epic.Plus we’d discuss how to persuade Ranbir and Katrina to work in the sequel.

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    • These are all wonderful ideas!!!!

      So long as we are talking Mahabharata, I’d want to have the same conversation with Mani Ratnam.

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 10:03 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  6. Very shallow question–has Katrina done something to her face? In recent photos of her it looks like she might have–maybe just fillers or something? Sorry to be judgy but the last thing Katrina needs is LESS ability to emote with her face. I wish all these beautiful people, men and women, would just age naturally (that is, no alterations beyond clothes and surface cosmetics). There, that is another fantasy of mine. Applies to all movie and TV people, in any country, any industry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hard to tell, maybe her nose is slightly thinner?

      I agree, especially because I am having a harder and harder time telling celebrities apart, in India or America. It feels like everyone has the same nose, the same cheekbones, the same chinline. In American watching right now I am going through the sitcom Cougar Town, which is very fun and has a talented cast of all ages. And there is a big difference in how interesting it is to watch Busy Phillips, a young woman with a flexible youthful face, and Courtney Cox, who has clearly botoxed and lifted and change so much that she has very little to work with in terms of expression. Still a wonderful actress, but I feel like she is playing with a handicap, you know?

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 10:32 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 2 people

  7. I have an URGENT question! A friend of mine works for a public library and they want to do an Indian film and food event. She asked for suggestions of a food-centric movie! Help!

    Like

  8. My filmstar fantasy would be for them (whoever it is) to let me write a film just for them where I direct just them. The actual director can do the actual directing! I just want the actor to do the exact expressions I want them to do!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Excellent idea! Or, to expand, I want a video game like technology that would let me build my own movie out of the set of expressions already available for each actor.

      Like

        • Kind of feel like this fantasy is part of the reason we got “Dard-E-Disco”. For which I will be forever grateful to Farah Khan.

          On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 11:50 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          Liked by 1 person

          • I think dard e disco is less someone else’s vision of him and more his own. He’s never done something like that in his career. Maybe he feels stifled having always been the nice guy you can take home to mother kinda actor. The sexy in his recent roles does feel like he’s trying to express himself.

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          • Except, he started out so NOT the nice guy you can take home to mother. Darr, Baazigar, Anjaam, even Deewana, there was that undercurrent of darkness. And then DDLJ changed it all. So I guess I agree with you, except I would say that he is trying to get back to his roots and pretend the whole SHAHRUKH KHAN SUPERSTAR era never happened, and he is back to being “Shahrukh Khan, struggling different actor type”.

            I also think he is one of those guys who gets sexier and feels sexier as he ages. Just the way he holds himself now and interacts with women in real life, it feels like he is blossoming into his own sexuality in a way he wasn’t when he was younger. Similar to comparing Vidya in her roles now with her younger roles, sometimes it just takes a while to get comfortable in your own skin.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:16 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

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          • Nothing about him screams “sexy and I know it”. He’s the most underconfident hot superstar I know. He does the role of sultry sexy guy well, but that’s always, as a rule, his persona playing the sexy dude. Never him the actual dude. That’s annoying.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I knew this had to exist, and indeed it does:

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:26 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

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          • It is, as you would expect, a fanvid set to “I’m sexy and I know it”. One of 3, but this is the best one I think.

            On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 12:37 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

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          • I just watched this video and i think it illustrates my point very well. SRK cannot do sexually confident at all. He cant do alpha-alpha.

            I just actually typed “sexy guy sexy and i know it” and this popped up

            At some point, sexy has to mean seually available too. SRK is too stiff, too “i think this is what sexy is supposed to look like” than actual sexy. Maybe the fandom would disagree and that’s alright but there is a huge huge baseline for sexy and i know it and sexy dude being sexy without being aggressive and sexy intense south asian dude and SRK just doesnt make the cut.

            It always feels like he’s doing sexy with Gauri and their decades old marriage in mind. Like he’s doing dad sexy with a dadbod mindset but he’s got a younger bod and he just doesnt know what to do with it. He does honest and vulnerable very well but he doesn’t do honest and sexy very well at any rate.

            I mean just compare it to Fawad here.

            This is the stuff that makes the sound of panties dropping around the room very audible!!! hehe

            I do think none of the Khans, actualyl none of our top stars know how to do sexy and sexually available at all. The only dude who i know does it VERY well is Ranveer and he too takes it OTT most of the time!

            Liked by 1 person

          • I think Farah just straight-up objectifies him and he likes it. Their interviews during Happy New Year promotions indicated that. Hence the “Just for Farah” torso shot in the end credits song for HNY.

            And, I found a blog post that both has a screen shot of said image, but also gets at the problems with gender in Farah’s films–especially HNY. http://framescinemajournal.com/article/bollywood-bodies-turning-the-gaze-from-babes-to-boys-and-back-again-in-farah-khans-happy-new-year/

            (Yes I am not having a productive Monday.)

            Liked by 1 person

  9. My fantasy: Prabhas to finally get married to Anushka and I will be so happy!!! I want TWENTY TWENTY again (the malayalam movie that featured all stars) but time, only the young folk, the young superstars. DulqUER, Nivin will lead the pack with Tovino, Asif Ali, Sunny Wayne.

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      • Yes mine too! They should get married! I love doing body language analysis and all my analysis points to that but strangely all sorts of conflicting news there

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  10. My fantasy used to be co-producing a movie with Aamir that crosses over and wins an Oscar but now I know more about Aamir and OMG can you imagine what he must be like to work with? “I’m growing my hair waist-length for the role. No, a wig isn’t good enough. Meanwhile, let’s see if we can source artisans to hand stitch the costumes. Yes, I know they will never be in closeup but I will know the difference.”

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    • Yes! I never ever want to work with Aamir! But I would love to have him supervise something for me. Just delegate the whole task to him and wait to see what wonderful thing he comes up with. Aamir is so the person I would pick to be my wedding planner, or decorate my new house, or redesign my website. So long as he doesn’t expect me to sit in on meetings or be involved in anyway, I want him to just do his thing and let me enjoy the end result.

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  11. Hi ur take on rajeev masand interview with kartik.

    He is being called out for trying to roast Kartik while at the same time being nice to star kids.
    Watch till the end for Kartik’s take on nepotism and his answers to sexist take on his movie.

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  12. The gist is rajeev tried to grill Kartik. but Kartik answered all the answers as a pro. and Kartik told about non mysoginist movies not working well so they have cracked a formula which isn’t wrong.

    Also his reaction on nepotism. was that he stood on his 2 frets without any godfathers so he felt that he achieved everything.

    And His Monologue Has Made Him a youth icon which is huge for a outsider like him.

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  13. Ok, I’m registering a protest–how is it that Asmita seems to have endless reply privileges on threads? I mean, you guys are up there deconstructing Shah Rukh the actor, Shah Rukh the person, Shah Rukh’s marriage, etc etc and I can’t reply! Harrumph! 🙂

    Like

  14. My fantasy would be to be around Ranbir Kapoor for few days (nothing remotely sexual)> Just want to see/know what he thinks. Was watching the AIB podcast with him. I mean here is a boy born with a silver spoon but still when you see him he looks very disinterested in all the stardom. So just want to know what is occupying his head space. Oh, and also understand his commitment phobia, like a case study. He clearly loves being in relationships but then something happens!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sooo stupid indian sanskaars preventing you from having fantasy sex with fantasy Ranbir in your fantasy??!! 😂 this is how repressed we are as a culture.

      Maybe Margaret should be more explicit and do a question post on which stars you’d sleep with, which would be causal somethings and which would be serious sometimes 😂

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      • What’s the game? Marry. sex, kill? That’s always a good time in which no feelings are hurt!

        On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 10:27 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Haha nothing wrong in having sexual thoughts about Ranbir, but he really isn’t my type 😀 Donot have patience for man-childs/children anymore. I just want to know what ails him 🙂

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        • Ditto! Ranbir is a couple years older than me, and yet I have always felt he was too young for me. Not in a “I’d be embarrassed to be seen with him” way, but in a “I am so bored taking care of this little boy” way.

          On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 10:46 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Ladies. If I’m sure about anything about Ranbir, it is that he is good in bed. I mean he dick-matized two of the hottest women in Hindi films. The guy can move, and his ego would demand that his partner has a good time. Being a man-child isn’t such a problem in one night stands or casual flings as it is in actual relationships.

            Having said that, I second Priya’s fantasy about finding out what’s going on with him and commitments. I really hoped Mahira would rock his world and wake him the heck up.

            I also second Meenakshy’s fantasy about hanging out with Asmita (with or without substances and hot bearded men).

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    • His parents marriage was Messed. Up. I wonder if it is one of those things where to him marriage=misery and pain, and he can’t bring himself to go through with it no matter how in love he is? I kind of suspect something similar with Salman.

      But, I also totally get where you are coming from with wanting to hang out around Ranbir. You are right, he is kind of fascinating in how he cares so much about the small parts of stardom, but not the big picture. He will do everything for a director’s vision, but he doesn’t care about his own career. And you are also right about that moment when he is suddenly out of a relationship after being really really in. Ideally we should make this a double fantasy, you get to spend the day watching him, and it is also the day his current serious girlfriend (whoever it is) gives him an ultimatum that either they get married or break up.

      oooo! I kind of want to watch THIS movie! Movie star arrested development playboy has to make an effort to save his latest movie in order to save his career, the same day his girlfriend gives him an ultimatum, and he has a magical visitor that only he can see and who keeps giving him advice. Only, instead of the magical visitor being you, can it be Raj Kapoor? Here to save his grandson from repeating the family mistakes? And can he give a sweet message through Ranbir for Krishna about how he is sorry for all the terrible things he did to her?

      On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 8:36 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Liked by 1 person

  15. A few years ago I was in Dhaka at the same time as Rahul Bose and idly fantasized that maybe we’d meet and, like, get coffee or something. Of course Dhaka is a huge city and it’s not like he’s going to stay at the same nice but not super expensive hotel or attend a seminar about English teaching. (And I couldn’t get anyone to go hang out with me at Dhaka’s only five star hotel for a day). But if I had a fantasy it would be that maybe he would stay at a cheaper hotel because he doesn’t like frippery, and we could have dinner together and talk about his movies and charity work. I think he seems like he’s got some depth and I could hang out with him; a lot of other stars might be a case of never meet your heroes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Along similar lines, the Pope was in Cuba at the same time as Salman was there filming Tiger a few years back, and I really wanted them to meet and hang out. Doesn’t it seem like the current Pope and Salman would have a lot to talk about?

      On Tue, Mar 13, 2018 at 12:05 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  16. I came her planning to reply to Asmita’s comment about the type of sexy that Shah Rukh isn’t as good at, and I agree with her to some extent. But then an emergency happened. I went to find my fave video about the kinds of sexy that Shah Rukh IS good at, “Time for Yoga” by Zizi K. And it seems like Zizi K’s YouTube profile is gone. Tragedy! Oh, I really wish I had downloaded that video (and a bunch of other ones from Zizi K) because it never failed to make me smile. Sigh.

    Ok, now to reply to Asmita. First the excerpt from her comment: “At some point, sexy has to mean sexually available too. SRK is too stiff, too ‘I think this is what sexy is supposed to look like’ than actual sexy… It always feels like he’s doing sexy with Gauri and their decades old marriage in mind. Like he’s doing dad sexy with a dadbod mindset but he’s got a younger bod and he just doesnt know what to do with it. He does honest and vulnerable very well but he doesn’t do honest and sexy very well at any rate.”

    The “sexually available” thing I quite agree with. I honestly can’t tell how sexual Shah Rukh is in real life, and that sometimes carries over to his movies for me. He has said he sublimates his sexual energy into film making and I believe that. I think, oddly enough, Varun said something like that about him when they were making Dilwale also. And when he interacts with co-stars or fans, even very physically, it’s more along the snuggly line than the “I’m a sex machine” line.

    Still–he is very good at doing longing, yearning, lusting type sexy in movies. He is the king of sexy non-kiss kisses–like in Dil Se, the night before Manisha disappears on him. The more vulnerable and honest kind of sexy, as Asmita says. He can do swag/dominance but only in a remote way–the swag of a star on stage, not one on one swag if that makes sense. He is very convincing at “you’re taking the lead and it’s turning me on” sexy as Margaret and I have talked about before. One of my fave examples of this is when Juhi wakes him up with tea when she is fresh out of the shower in One 2 Ka 4. He’s also good at fun sexy–when he’s teasing people in real life or in scenes–think Aman in KHNH. I do find him very sexy when he’s not trying–just because he is so very comfortable in his body. Anything athletic he does just kills me.

    And now I’m going to watch this video to cheer me up for losing Zizi K’s library. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF7nHzPjQsY

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    • I CAN’T BELIEVE ZIZI K IS GONE!!!!! This is like when I lost the Nauf channel all over again! An era is over, I’ve been watching him since college. I am SO SAD!!!! Thank goodness Lalilly is still out there.

      And to pick up on your points about SRK sexiness, yes, I think you are right. He can do confidence and swag, which is innately attractive in a sort of alpha dog way. But for actual gentle sexy, it’s all about when he is interacting with a woman and loses himself in that. And it does feel like in real life he is very private and keeps that part of himself hidden away. But on the other hand, as we discussed over and over again on the JHMS posts, when he manages to completely lose himself in a character, and has the right scene partner, he can bring that sexuality into a performance.

      On Tue, Mar 13, 2018 at 9:03 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 1 person

      • I know, I’m crushed about Zizi K.

        Yep, good point about Harry–no inhibitions there. Harry, Aman, Raj in CC, Ghost in Paheli, and Mohan in Swades–these are some of his earthy, real sexy characters. Maybe it really is about good direction.

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        • If it is about direction, that means that Zero should be sexiest yet, since he will have a great director who is very big on building characters and improvisation and stuff. But probably not.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Hard to say. For what it’s worth I’m guessing Shah Rukh’s not a little person in the whole movie. That’s the “sci fi” angle people are hinting at, I think. Not that little people can’t be sexy, but that the special effects would get in the way.

            Like

          • Yeah, I have a similar guess, that Anushka helps him somehow become normal heighted (builds prosthetic legs, gives him a magic pill, creates a halogram that looks like him, something like that), he romances Katrina in his new appearance, but eventually realizes Anushka is his true love because she saw him for what he really was.

            Liked by 1 person

    • Dulquer is definitely trying to make the leap Malayalam to Hindi. I thought he might be after Karan was roped in to help promote Solo. And Dulquer, in general, seems to have a more calculated career, more interested in PR opportunities and breaking into new markets and so on than in just taking the most interesting roles.

      This is a good step for him, it reminds me of Fawad in Khoobsurat. If the film hits, he will get the credit and get industry buzz. If the film flops, it is small enough that he won’t be blamed or lose his chance. And no matter what the promotions and so on will involve selling him to the audience as a “new” hero so he will gain followers.

      Sonam choice of him as a co-star is where I am really getting the Fawad vibes. Or Rajkummar Rao or Jim Sarbh. She is very good at finding talented charismatic actors who have experience but are not known by the public yet. It let’s her take the lead and take control of the film (both as an actress and a producer) in a way she never could opposite even a minor male star (Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, for instance, had her opposite Farhan and it was Farhan’s movie all the way).

      The one thing I can’t figure out is who is taking the lead in producing. FoxStarIndia and AdLabs are involved, but there must be a smaller production house also doing the grunt work. Red Chillies optioned the book but their option ran out. I strongly suspect Sonam is the actual producer because it is a book by a female author with a strong female character and it has Sonam opposite a lessor known but still talented star form another industry, all of which smells like Sonam’s producer taste.

      Like

      • She co-starred with Dhanush too. He was “the less known” one but so much talented and his ability unveiled all Sonam lacks in my opinion.
        I must admit, first I didn’t like this “jodi” but now after reading about the book, I’m quite excited.

        Like

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