I was going to do a straight up fanfic, but then I realized it is more of a personal fantasy, so the best way would be to handle it more like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” type deal.
So, Sonam’s wedding, super fun night, and a night when all kinds of random famous people were gathered together in the same place letting their hair down. So many wonderful reasons to fantasize you were there! And I have a fantasy for you.
You are:
A. An old friend of Sunita Kapoor’s from her flight attendant days, you knew her when she was living at home and working and dating a pennyless guy who dreamed of being a movie star. You have kept in touch all these years, while you went on to have a regular life, and now Sunita has invited you to her daughter’s wedding.
B. An old friend of the groom from college days, you were just a regular middle-class American student at the University of Pennsylvania and didn’t even realize how rich and important his family was, which is maybe why he became friends with you, because you treated him like “normal”. Now he is getting married and wants you to come.
C. A regular teenager who bumped into Rhea Kapoor in a bathroom and lent her a tampon. She was so grateful that she invited you to her sister’s wedding that night, there is loads of space and food, she would love to have you.
At the wedding, you:
A. Find yourself suddenly dancing all night sandwiched between Shahrukh, Anil, Ranveer, Varun, Salman, Shahid, and Ranbir
B. Sit in a dark corner and have a deep intensely personal conversation with someone who, once you get out of the dark corner, you realize is a famous movie star.
C. Find yourself suddenly dancing in the center of the room while everyone applauds, and then are offered a 5 movie contract by Rani Mukherjee on behalf of YRF.
The next day, you wake up and realize you:
A. Are in bed with a movie star
B. Have ten texts from your new best friend, Famous Movie Star, asking your advice.
C. Are on the front page of every website, the new mysterious discovery who is turning heads and is already famous.
Now, for myself, I am a straight B-B-B. I would be Anand Ahuja’s practical wise college friend who he stayed in touch with. I would sit in a corner at the wedding and start talking to a random woman sitting with me, eventually realizing it was Alia Bhatt. She would be so overwhelmed by the wisdom of my advice (“don’t date the troubled older guy who just needs love, it never works out. Stop working with your mentor all the time, try to branch out on your own. Buy a dog.”), that she would bring over all her other friends to come talk to me, and I would give all of them wise advice too (Kat: “Be single and happy for a while, maybe eat a dessert sometimes”, Varun: “stop trying so hard”, Shahid: “get a normal haircut”, and so on). I would wake up the next day to discover that my phone was blowing up with all my new friends asking advice and I would start a new career as Life Coach to the Stars.
How about you?
dontcallitbollywood 
B. B. B. Juhi Chawla being the famous movie star. But she gives me as much advise as I give her, we enjoy debating lifestyles and activist priorities (poverty vs environmental protection for example), and eventually our families become close friends. I would never, NEVER ask her to introduce us to Shah Rukh and Gauri, but she would surprise us by inviting them over for dinner, along with Anil and Sunita, one night while we all happen to be in London at the same time.
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Does Juhi also loan you clothes, or at least hook you up with the best sources? Because her outfits, Indian or Indo-Western or straight Western, are always so great.
Also, can this end with your 3 couples (you and your husband, SRK and Guari, and Juhi and her husband) going on an annual couples trip together for the next 20 years?
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She respects that I don’t really care about clothes, but she also hooks me up with her sources when I manage to get to India every few years. 🙂
And annual couples trips sound kind of greedy–they’re busy, we’re busy–but every 2 or 3 years would be ideal.
Of course, another outcome from the dinner in London could be that Shah Rukh realizes I’m the right person to take the Meer Foundation to a more sustainable place as an organization. I’m sure he wants its mission to outlive him. In which case my whole family would move to Mumbai, and we could see all of them more often.
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Yes, I think the last option makes the most sense. Especially since part of that sustainability would be finding additional funding sources, which Juhi could help with. Host an annual fundraiser that all the movers and shakers come to or something.
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FYI. Wonder if they’re still coming to NYC, and when. https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/index.ssf/2018/05/indian_movie_megastar_shah_ruk.html
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Marriage, festivities and costume reminds me of songs from Kadhalar Dinam. Rahman at his best. He should have received Oscar for that and not for Slumdog millionaire, imo.
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Looks like an interesting movie! I’ll have to see if I can track it down to watch some time.
On Fri, May 11, 2018 at 11:44 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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It’s B’s all the way down for me too but in a very different way. First, I actually did attend the University of Pennsylvania, so that’s a no-brainer. And of course I’d be in a dark corner at the wedding because Aamir (If he was there? Not sure he was) would insist on sitting in the corner and talking shop and being the Party Killer that Karan accused him of being. And then of course he’d send me 10 texts the next day with suggestions about my life and career. So obvious 😛
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Yes! This is the perfect plan.
Also, weirdly, one of my other regular commentators currently works at the University of Pennsylvania, and one of my all time best ever topmost scholars on Indian film teaches there. Must be something in the Pennsylvania air that makes you either love watching and writing about Indian movies, or fall in love with an Indian movie star.
On Fri, May 11, 2018 at 4:07 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Well Chicago is apparently the epicenter of Bolly blogging in the US so maybe it’s Older Urban Cities that breed Bolly love?
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Older Urban Cities are the best, it’s true.
On Fri, May 11, 2018 at 4:32 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Your questions are all fun and stuff but they reveal some things I didn’t know about myself.
So I would be the random women met in the bathroom. At the party I would sit in a corner (seems we are all introverts here 😉 ), look at people and talk with somebody. And next morning A (what’s the point of sending messages if you can enjoy more 😉 )
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It just occurs to me that probably it isn’t a coincidence a bunch of introverts are hanging out talking on a website instead of going out in the world living life.
And I am glad SOMEBODY is taking advantage of A!!!! I put it in there to be enjoyed, and so far we have all been good little girls and chosen B. Any votes on who would be with you in A? No restrictions, it’s a wedding, so people might have a “hall pass” for the night from their significant others.
On Sun, May 13, 2018 at 4:07 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Brother of the bride 8)
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Excellent choice! He’s feeling all maudlin and sentimental and overlooked, you swoop in and comfort him, perfect one night stand situation.
On Sun, May 13, 2018 at 9:49 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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