Roll of Shame: My Meanest Reviews of the Movies I Truly Hated

As you know if you are a regular reader, it is rare for me to really truly hate a film.  I will always find some redeeming feature, discuss the themes and treat it seriously, make you want to watch it.  I don’t like all films equally, but I do generally like all films.  Except for the very very rare film which I absolutely HATE and the main purpose of my review is to try to destroy it with my hatred.  Which, possibly, might be a style of writing you enjoy.  In which case, this post is for you, to make it easy to find the 1 in 50 film I actually wrote a bad review of.

Obviously, you don’t have to agree with me or hate these movies the same way I do, or at all.  I just wanted to pull together all my “mean” reviews into one place for your reading pleasure, if you like that style of review.  These aren’t, by any means, the most objectively “bad” movies I have reviewed, just the ones that I really really hated.

Aiyaary Review (SPOILERS): Wait, So That Was 4 Days/3 Hours To Get Us Back Where We Started?

Bajirao Mastani Synopsis from someone who hated it (Spoilers): Part 1

Bajirao Synopsis/hate-watch Part 2 (Spoilers spoilers, everywhere!)

Bajirao-Final Part! Ending! Synopsis over, all the hatred is out of my system, and I found some things I actually liked! (Part 3)

Devdas Part 4: The Bhansali One! The Shahrukh One! The One Everyone Knows!

Force 2, a Mini-Review/Summary (SPOILERS): John Abraham Was Good, But Nothing Else Was

Jagga Jasoos Review (SPOILERS): Insults the Intelligence of Children and Adults

Ki & Ka Full Summary: It Felt Like A Series of Sitcom Episodes (SPOILERS!)

Noor Review (SPOILERS): Fails in the Most Important Character, the City of Bombay

Monday Malayalam: Ivar Vivahitharayal…?, They Try To Save It At the End, But It Still Doesn’t Work

Veruthe Oru Bharya: ENRAGING!!!

Rangoon Review (SPOILERS): Every Five Minutes is Another “OH COME ON!!!” Moment

Toilet Ek Prem Katha Review (SPOILERS): Ignores the Obvious Villain

Tubelight Review (SPOILERS): Read This Instead of Seeing the Movie

Monday Malayalam: Zachariayude Garbhinikal, Misogyny is Alive and Well in God’s Own Country

Thursday Telugu: Bharat Ane Nenu (SPOILERS), Has No One Involved Read the Indian Constitution?

 

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6 thoughts on “Roll of Shame: My Meanest Reviews of the Movies I Truly Hated

    • Oh sure. Ta Ra Rum Pum Pum and Bandini are two that spring to mind immediately. But hatred just takes so much energy, you know? It’s much less exhausting to write a nice light review of a film I like.

      And really, even out of all the films I have seen in all the world, it’s still only like 5% that I hate. So 14 angry reviews out of the 250 or so I have written is pretty accurate.

      On Mon, May 21, 2018 at 2:17 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  1. Have you ever hated a movie on first viewing, and then, some time later (could be months or years), see it again and find it wasn’t so bad after all?

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    • Yes, definitely! And yet my mind is a blank and I can’t think of an example. But I know that feeling so clearly, I am sure I have had it. All that’s coming to mind are films I was neutral on and then came around to sort-of liking instead of sort-of not liking. Dostana, for instance. It’s not a brilliant perfect movie, but I found it shallow and stupid on the first watch to the point of not being able to enjoy it, and then on later watches I liked it more and more.

      Oh! Chalte Chalte! That’s one. On first watch I thought Rani was spoiled and horrible and Shahrukh was cartoonishly over the top and I didn’t get their romance at all. I didn’t hate-hate it, the way I hate these movies, but I sure didn’t like it and would never have voluntarily watched it again. And then I came back to it a few years later and suddenly saw all of these things I missed the first time around.

      On Mon, May 21, 2018 at 8:45 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. “Right Here Right Now – Bluf…” The YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated due to multiple third-party notifications of copyright infringement. THIS pops up on the Piggy Chops link for her nickname.

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    • Yeah, that happens. It’s supposed to be a link to a songs video, but I guess the user pulled it down. It’s this video:

      On Tue, May 22, 2018 at 3:07 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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