Kind of surprised I haven’t done this already. Oh well, we are here now! I don’t promise a comprehensive overview, but I am going to pick out the most strikingly different covers I can find.
Starting with the modern recent ones! Prepare yourself to select in 3 categories:
Best
Worst
Weirdest
Ranveer just makes everything weird. But good use of complimentary colors and stuff, right?
Aamir. Why?
This isn’t a very memorable cover just as a work of art, but OH MY GOSH!!!! Aish and Pharell? May win weirdest just on that.
This is maybe the worst example of the supposed “Sexy” shot. Kareena looks like she is bracing herself so she won’t fall over, Saif looks like he is struggling not to laugh, it’s not good.
But this might be even less sexy! What exactly is he doing here? Inviting us to smell his armpit?
It’s the pants that put this one over the top for me. What are they even made of? So distracting!
I love this one. I know it’s boring and plain, but I still love it.
Why so wide legged? So awkward! Reminds me of Kareena back up there.
I kind of like this? Except for the mustache, somehow doesn’t feel like it fits with the rest. Actually, Ajay doesn’t feel like he fits, he is too manly and working class feeling to have a luxury car and a mustache.
I don’t know, it’s a really interesting concept and a cool shot, but I don’t know if it actually works.
Awwww. This is just kind of sweet. Jaya looks lovely.
Okay, winners for the recent era:
Best: Gotta go with Kajol
Worst: Gotta go with Imraan
Weirdest: Those pants!
New section!!!!! The 90s. When things got way weirder than the recent era. Remember
Best
Worst
Weirdest
This one goes a little beyond weird and into downright disturbing.
Not the most flattering photo of Shahrukh. Either the make-up guy or the touch-up guy went a little too big on the pink lips and it throws off his whole face. Plus the leather jacket and the corny 90s pose. On the other hand, Kajol looks awesome!
Salman, why are you strangling Madhuri?????
Okay, this has to be the best. Madhuri looks just stunning.
I am honestly not sure whether this is Salman or Bobby Deol, I never realized before how alike they look. Also, surely this is not proper blow torch safety.
Dimple looks amazing. Really the best covers are just close ups on these gorgeous faces, aren’t they?
Oh, I don’t LIKE this!!!!! It’s like Raveena is frozen and can’t fight Akshay off.
I also don’t like this. Because it is a really stupid concept for a “reborn” career. Shahrukh has got to learn to say “no” to photographers.
Shahrukh is giving great face here, but it can’t quite save this ridiculous pose.
I just…I can’t….what?
An the 90s winners! “weirdest” was really difficult in this ear.
Best: Madhuri. I would frame this and put it on my wall
Worst: I considered making this weirdest, but it’s not quite interesting enough to even be weird
Weirdest: I considered Rekha and Kajol, but really there is no contest
Okay, now the really really old ones. Which I think are my favorite over all. Once again
Best
Worst
Weirdest
This is so natural and lovely, Nutan and baby Mohnish just sitting in her kitchen. And now Mohnish is old enough for his daughter to be launched and soon to get her own FilmFare cover.
This is not natural, but it is sooooooooooo 70s I couldn’t resist. Especially Rajesh’s hair.
Can this be both weird and good at the same time? It’s Rekha (I am 99% sure) and she looks stunning and also very odd.
Another uncomfortable sexy shot! Amitabh gets to lounge in the background, but poor Zeenat is all pulled off balance.
This is a classy shot. And it gives you a whole feel of early Bombay films, when a photographer and a star would just take a walk on the beach, and then put that picture on the cover.
My goodness, Amitabh looks very “young evil sorcerer” here, doesn’t he?
Jaya looks amazing here, continuing my theory that she is actually more stunning in still photos than on film. Also, what the heck is that quote about?
Okay, calling it now, THIS has to win weirdest!!!!
Or maybe this is the weirdest??? That photo of Rajneesh on the pendent is freaking me out!
Old-timey winners
Best/Weirdest: Worst and weirdest seemed more likely, but no! Rekha and her cat are both supremely strange and supremely beautiful.
Worst: Oh Mandakini!!!! Somehow the clearly stuffed tiger is what makes it worst for me.
dontcallitbollywood 
The Aamir Filmfare stopped me dead. What????
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I guess he’s trying to rebrand himself, but I don’t know what he is trying to rebrand himself AS.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 2:35 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Present era: I like a lot of these, actually.
Best: Amitabh–just nice to see the confidence and the long legs. He’s still got it. Runner up: Ajay–the old timey macho guy in a car with a mustache works well for me with him. Kind of Clark Gable-ish.
Weirdest: Aish and Pharrel, but in a good way.
90s
Best: tie between Shah Rukh and Kajol; and Shah Rukh and Gauri
Worst: Salman and Madhuri–just so awkward and uncomfortable!
Weirdest: tie between Madhuri in blue and Akshay as St Sebastian
Older
Best: Dev Anand–love the colors, the setting, and the charming pose/expression. Runner up: Amitabh and Zeenat. She’s looking amazing and he looks SO much like Abhi here. I actually said, “awww”. 🙂
Worst: Lady and the tiger for sure
Weirdest: Rekha and kitty, but in a good way
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Oh, forgot present era Worst: Aamir of course. Just, no.
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Ha! Our comments crossed!!!!
For some reason, the thing that makes me angriest about the Aamir photo is that the shirt (?) fastens with a tie instead of a button or a zipper or a snap. It’s just too far over that hipster line of “well, now you are making your life so much harder by trying to look like you aren’t trying!” The beard, mustache, and glasses got me close, but the tie is what killed me.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 3:11 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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No worst for the Present Era? If there is a best, there HAS to be a worst!!!!
Ajay does look really good in old-timey clothes. Big selling point of Bhagat Singh (for me) was how well he pulled off the fedora.
I was going to give you a hard time about the Shahrukh-Kajol pose (so awkward!), but then you reminded me of the Salman-Madhuri pose which is so so so so much worse! Makes Shahrukh and Kajol look charming again.
I just don’t understand the Akshay photo. Is supposed to be funny? Touching? Sexy?
Agree completely about Rekha and the cat. Weird, but in a good way.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 3:01 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Shah Rukh and Kajol are both so exuberant, I’m charmed by them. Wasn’t this his first Filmfare for Baazigar? And the pose is awkward, but also something I can see happening between them. She’s so oddly grabby/pushy with people. Even his pink lips are exuberant. Ah, youth! 🙂
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“Even his pink lips are exeburant” feels like something that could caption almost any photo of SRK pre-1998. The man was not shy about lipstick. Or anything.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 4:00 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Haha, so true.
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Regarding the Akshay photo, I think some art director was having a bit of fun because he’s styled like St. Sebastian. Some background on that particular saint:
You should also read this very funny essay on St. Sebastian in Renaissance art: http://the-toast.net/2015/06/17/the-martyrdom-of-saint-sebastian-in-ascending-order-of-sexiness-and-descending-order-of-actual-martyring/
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Ha! And also, that makes total sense. The 90s was Akshay’s gay icon era, and he embraced it, and that is why we love him. The Sakshay was riding high, and Saif reacted by threatening to punch people in the nose who supposed he/his characters were anything but 100% manly men straight. And Akshay reacted by posing for a gay magazine.
And all of this just means I have an excuse to put a link to my all time favorite slashfic video one more time:
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 5:37 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I went and found the magazine cover and woo hoo!
Also, I found out Saif is a joykill.
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Yep! But then Saif leaned into it in Kal Ho Na Ho, so that’s extra fun to watch, knowing Karan was playing with his image a bit.
Also, you have to watch Main Khiladi Tu Anari! The title translates to “I am the player, you are the naive one”. I mean COME ON!!!! They are just handing it to us.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 7:34 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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New covers:
worst: AAMIR!!!!!! Who chose those clothes? That person should be fired, and never be allowed to style people. Every piece is like from other era, style and everything. I just can’t watch it. And it could be really, really good cover.
weird: don’t know
best: from those you presented – SRK, but I have seen Kajol’s new cover yesterday, and I fell in love with it, with Kajol, with the stylist.
90′
worst: pregnant Shahrukh
weirdest: Akshay as indian Saint Sebastian
best: Dimple and shirtless Salman
old:
worst: Zeenat and amitabh
weird: stuffed tiger, no doubt
best: it was difficult but Jaya at Filmfare cover
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With Aamir, there is just no way those shoes and that shirt should be ever worn at the same time by the same person, right? They have nothing in common!
That new Kajol cover is so great! I love the use of feathers to sort of soften the line of the clothes and make us focus in on the face.
Really? Shirtless Salman with the poor safety standards is your favorite? It’s just so strange! And I can’t stop thinking about his chest hair catching on fire and maybe that is why he is always clean shaven now, fire safety.
Jaya is so gorgeous in that cover, and it is such a clean nice look, just her face and none of those headlines screaming at us.
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 4:11 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I want a new version on Kuch Kuch Hota Hai with Kajol looking that good (and rejecting SRK for coming only now when she is beautiful and famous)
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So, a five minute version of Kuch Kuch? Kajol shows up, looking fabulous, Shahrukh is waiting for her, he confesses his love, she says “No, I don’t think so”, and then the movie ends?
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 5:14 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Karan can make a Holiday special with this story 😉
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Pingback: TGIF: Inspired By Suhana, Best/Worst Magazine Covers — dontcallitbollywood – Business Startup-Bay Area
Aamir. You are severely testing my love with this nonsense. No Ranveer cosplay EVER. Which reminds me of this deeply hilarious photo of the two of them.
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I like to think they are just standing next to each other, and that’s how much Ranveer has to bend down to hug Aamir. He’s so short! I never get tired of it!
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 5:51 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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first part: best = ShahRukh (film magazine) / The Bachchans (fashion magazine); worst = Aish + X on Vogue / Aamir on Filmfare (what did they intend to convey???); weirdest = Amitji
second part: best = Dimple; worst = arrow-Akshay ; weirdest ShahRukh pregnant
third part: best = Rekha + cat; worst = Zeenat +Amitji; weirdest = Mandakini + tiger
What was your criterion in choosing the magazine covers?
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I just google image searched for “90s FilmFare covers” and like that, and then scrolled through the pictures until something caught my eye. Completely unscientific!
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 6:52 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I actually love all the Ranveer covers—they’re fun and interesting and it seems like he doesn’t take it too seriously.
My all time favorite is Dev Anand. The whole cover is so Dev Anand-y. Second would have to be Nutan. It doesn’t even look like she’s wearing makeup, and she’s sooooooo happy!
I loved SRK/Kajol but was distracted wondering if one of them suddenly let go would the other get hit in the face with a Filmfare award?
Worst and weirdest is Mandakini and, um, isn’t that a leopard?
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Well, it was a leopard. I think now it is living room art?
On Fri, Aug 3, 2018 at 8:45 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m so tired of Kajol being whitewashed everywhere these days.Shahrukh’s photo looks straight out of Roshini se from Asoka or Zaalima from Raees. Madhuri’s photo takes me back to my Catholic school days and the nuns who ruled the roost.I don’t imagine Madhuri was going for that.Amitabh looks as if he climbed straight from a Pride and Prejudice production.Nutan and Baby Mohnish are my pick for their natural candid shot.I wish Ranveer Singh could use his wilder outfits in one of his films.Have you seen Baburao Patel’s photos about the older film stars? He puts up the most unflattering photographs and then eviscerates them. Poor Rakhee is compared to a sweet potato and it gets worse from there.
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Oh, that sounds so mean!!!!! Why would someone want to be so mean?
And agree that the Nutan and Mohnish shot is delightful. It’s just so loving and natural.
On Sat, Aug 4, 2018 at 9:06 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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To give him his due, he’s witty.He calls Yash Chopra one of Rakhee’s emotions, draws attention to Mala Sinha’s “well-upholstered” figure,taunts Rajendra Kumar for aping Dilip Kumar and calls attention to Sunil Dutt’s posture presenting his best side towards the camera at the expense of his heroine. But as they say everybody loves a smartass until he turns his wit on you.You can check out more of his stuff at https://memsaabstory.com/2009/06/24/a-cruel-man-but-fair/
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No link to the actual Suhana cover referenced in the title?
21st century
Best
Imraan
Joyously boyishly sexy. Belongs on every teen girls wall. Great mid action capture. Nice torso – cut but not ripped. Relaxed and natural.
Favorite
Kajol with Feathers (in the comments)
Love how her face is aging, and that they haven’t Photoshop away the wrinkles (unlike the squaring off of Aishs jaw with Farrell). Makes her look regal and a force to be reckoned with. Love the MUA’s work here too.
Worst
Kareena Saif
Like Rangoon, it’s the worst because the delta between potential and outcome was so huge. Too much and not enough going on here.
Weirdest
It’s unanimous. Aamir channeling Zach Galifiakis(sp?) or Juaquin Phoenix.
Bollywood newbie: “Ranveer cosplay” – I died!
90s
This is all either bad or weird or both.
That’s true of 90s films too.
Best
Rekha Kajol
This cover is as famous, memorable, and iconic for that era in India as Janet Jackson rolling stone cover of the same era was in America. It’s a kind of passing of the baton, as Rekhas leading lady career was winding down and Kajols was ramping up.
Worst
Pregnant SRK.
What a waste of a charismatic photo subject and cover space. Just does not spark interest on any level. Even his face looks so uninteresting (whereas the double srk cover to me looks very sexy and promises an interesting magazine issue).
Weirdest
Madhuri as an underwater space alien. Channeling the movie Avatar? Why? Even Sridevi would have been better for this, at least she has played nagas and deities.
Classic
Love the Life Magazine style of cover.
Best
Dev Anand
Favorite
Nutan & Monish
I can see why she was my dad’s favorite, a natural beauty in a 100% Indian way.
Worst
Mandakini and Tiger
This is actually bad, in which there was never any potential for it to be good.
But this is the 80s, so it should be clubbed with the 90s, not with the classics.
Wierdest
Rekha and cat
The cat makes the photo make sense. Love it.
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Kareena and Saif is such a disaster! Maybe it was the old “couple in real life, no chemistry onscreen” problem. Because there are tons of sexy photos of co-stars who weren’t dating, and yet somehow the Kareena and Saif picture just looks wrong.
Agree about the pregnant SRK picture! Even if you get rid of the fake pregnancy, it’s still just a bad shot of him, nothing interesting to look at.
Poor Mandakini and Aamir, no one likes them.
On Sat, Aug 4, 2018 at 4:18 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I don’t like to see perfect SRK in anything but perfection. He feels he has to stretch himself to remain relevant but not for me. The mag cover was ill-advised, I didn’t like him in that Fan prosthesis, and I’m sure I’m going to hate seeing his mini-me. He can rest on his considerable laurels and just do cameos from now on, like his brief but absolutely dynamic hocus-pocus role in Tubelight. In Dear ZIndagi, he bowed to Alia, downplayed his part, and still managed to be rivetingly sexy. (Is rivetingly a word?)
I want to see my faves, Prabhas, Ranveer Singh, and the wonderful Vicky Kaushal (He just popped up on my screen out of nowhere and I was hooked) age gracefully. I hope they go easy on the Botox (John Abraham??) the corsets and the inked hair. Ideally, they should all look like Suniel Shetty.
Now as for the women, somehow I don’t mind a little extra makeup and tightening; “little” being the operative word. Hema Malini DImple, and Jaya are all wonderful to look at.
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If “rivetingly” isn’t a word, it should be invented as one in order to describe SRK in DZ. He was indeed “rivetingly sexy”.
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Rekha has done a whole lot of these OTT shoots. That deserves a TGIF of its own
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Maybe Rekha versus Ranveer versus that one photo of Aamir. who will win?????
On Sun, Aug 5, 2018 at 9:14 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Rekha hands down. Because she’s too fierce to lose out to anyone no matter how much more ridiculous they look than her
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