Shahrukh Summer: Marry-Sex-Kill, Non-NRI Characters

This doesn’t really match the theme week, but we had so much fun with this discussion yesterday, I feel like I have to give you the other side of it.

I don’t want to make this overwhelming, so I am going to go ahead and arbitrarily limit the list to only the most famous/popular/sexy characters. But feel free to add on folks I ignored when making your own selections! Oh, and remember you are allowed to sex/marry/kill as many people as you want. Just have to select a category for each person on this list, and you have to have at least one character in each category.

Raju from Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman

Image result for raju ban gaya gentleman

Vicky and/or Ajay from Baazigar

Image result for shahrukh baazigar

Shankar from Koyla

Image result for shahrukh koyla

Rahul from Yes Boss

Image result for shahrukh yes boss

Rahul from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Image result for shahrukh kuch kuch hota hai

Raj from Baadshah

Image result for shahrukh baadshah

Max from Josh

Image result for shahrukh josh

Raj from Mohabbatein

Image result for shahrukh mohabbatein

Arun from One 2 Ka 4

Image result for shahrukh one 2 ka 4

Asoka from Asoka

Image result for shahrukh asoka

Devdas from Devdas

Image result for shahrukh devdas

Ram from Main Hoon Na

Image result for shahrukh main hoon na

Veer from Veer-Zaara

Image result for shahrukh veer zaara

Ghost from Paheli

Image result for shahrukh paheli

Kabir from Chak De India

Image result for shahrukh chak de india

Surinder Sahni from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Image result for shahrukh surinder sahni

Charlie from Happy New Year

Image result for shahrukh happy new year

Raj from Dilwale

Related image

Aryan Khanna from Fan

Image result for shahrukh aryan khanna

Jug from Dear Zindagi

Image result for shahrukh dear zindagi

Raees from Raees

Image result for shahrukh raees

Baua Singh from Zero

Image result for shahrukh zero

Okay, looking at this list, I think I am going to end up on a killing spree. I really don’t much like a lot of his most popular characters.

Sex: Raju, Vicky/Ajay, Shankar, Rahul, Rahul, Raj, Max, Raj, Ram, Veer, Ghost, Charlie, Raees. Essentially everyone I don’t want to marry, but also like too much to kill. I would totally marry Ram and Veer and Raees, except the threat of constant danger from marriage to a soldier/criminal isn’t good.

Marry: Kabir, Surinder, Jug, Aryan. The first three are obviously self-explanatory (and I will fight you all for them!), the last is just because I think it would be cool to live in a big mansion and have movie star friends.

Kill: Asoka, Devdas, Buua. The first for the crime of bad hair, the second for being so freakin’ whiny, and the third one for being a bad boyfriend/fiance.

How about you?

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24 thoughts on “Shahrukh Summer: Marry-Sex-Kill, Non-NRI Characters

  1. Ok, I’m going for multiples this time. I can’t limit myself to three like I (mostly did) with the NRI’s. I’m going to alternate between movie names and character names. Just easier to remember and I can’t keep scrolling up and down at the office. 🙂

    Sex: Mohabbatein (to help him get over Aish and MOVE ON already!), Asoka, Veer, Charlie, Dilwale, Aryan, Jug, Raees, and Bauua (all before they meet their respective life partners, except Jug, post-divorce would be fine, but pre-Deepika in the fanfic sequel). Adding Amar from Dil Se here.

    Marry: Raju, Shankar (don’t judge–he has super powers and a big heart. we can cut his hair), Yes Boss, One 2 Ka 4 (has a temper but knows how to apologize), Paheli (assuming husband and ghost merged), and Suri (he’d have quite the harem of DCIB’ers). Adding Ajay from PBDHH here.

    Kill: Baazigar (but I’d make sure his mom got decent care afterward) and Devdas.

    Everyone else listed I don’t care about one way or another.

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    • I have to admit, I was worried with this list with the deep beautiful romances. I don’t want Dilwale Shahrukh cheating on Kajol, or Raees cheating on Mahira! I like your solution of sliding in there in between. Or, soap opera style, we could also have the partner be presumed dead or something, you get your fun one night stand, and then yaaay! She’s alive after all! Come to think of it, that’s kind of the plot of Asoka..

      Shankar also has a diamond mine, which doesn’t hurt. For me, One 2 Ka 4 and Ajay and Yes Boss are all just too cocky and self-confident to be marriage material. Sex, obviously yes.

      I am glad we can agree on killing Devdas. He’s just not good for anything else.

      And I can believe you have no opinion on KKHH Rahul, Baadshah, and Max, but I refuse to believe you have no opinion on Ram from Main Hoon Na and Kabir from Chak De!

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      • I know what you mean about One 2 Ka 4, Ajay, and Yes Boss, but they are all less cocky at the end of their respective stories than at the beginning. I think they have potential.

        I thought about the sex-then-kill option with Devdas, but let’s be honest, heavy alcohol consumption is not an aid to performance in the bedroom. Especially not for guys. So yes, let’s put him, and everyone who cares about him, out of their misery.

        I like both Ram and Kabir, but they are toooooooooo straight for me. Ram is too goody goody, and Kabir is too judgmental. So, I’d pat them on their ass and send them on their way.

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        • I mean, the game is marry-sex-kill. I don’t think you are allowed to just send them away. If you had to choose for Ram and Kabir, which option? I feel like evidence points to Ram at least being a good sex option, not sure about Kabir.

          On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:35 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Wow, are you like this when playing cards/board games?

            I mean, my only option is sex then, right? Boring sex is better than a boring marriage, and I don’t want to kill anyone else. Sheesh.

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          • I am also like this when driving a car. I am that person always going the speed limit that everyone else hates.

            On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:43 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Vicky Baazigar – kill
    Shankar Koyla – sex
    Rahul KKHH – kill (for being so useless and whiny when he should be strong)
    Raj Mohabbatein – Kill
    Asoka – I was going to say marry because he is a king, but than I remembered how terrible royal families can be :sons kill fathers, brothers fight for the crown, I don’t want this so only sex
    Devdas – kill
    Ram MHN – marry (it breaks my rule of not marrying soldiers, but he is too sexy to resist)
    Veer – marry
    Ghost – elope and marry
    Kabir CDI – sex
    Suri – marry, he is a good guy
    Charlie HNY – I haven’t finished the movie but kill
    Aryan Fan – sex
    Jug – sex
    Buua Singh – kill kill

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    • Love your Asoka logic, you can have sex with him and then I will kill him. And you can marry Ram after I have sex with him. I’ll take Jug and Kabir for marriage after you are done with sex. And I guess we have to fight to the death for Suri.

      Question: why not marry Jug?

      On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:53 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • Hmm. Maybe you can convince him to retire, he seems half-retired anyway, only taking on a few patients in his house with no secretary or anything.

          On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 4:01 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. Because I am very old (I’m not going to say how old but–it makes the 12 year old boy, buried deep inside me, laugh like a hyena), I am going to add another category – adopt. I would adopt orphan Ram Jaane, give him his own room, good food and nice clothes. Then send him to school and buy him a jeep for his 18th birthday, just as he leaves for college. If he still decides on a life of crime, I will direct him into politics. He should do well there.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. But you only killed three, hardly a spree! I’d kill them too for the same reasons and add Raj Aryan because he is just meh!
    Marry – Shankar – can’t believe I’m picking a character from a movie I was reluctant to watch for so long, but he is worth it
    KKHH Rahul – don’t ask why!
    Ram – I’ll court the danger
    Suri – On the condition that he retains some humour and mischief from Raj, it’s all in him!
    Jug – Kinda cautious with this, I might be too young for him
    Sex – Because I want to – Vicky, Arun, Veer, Ghost, Kabir, Charlie, Raj, Raees (just for the Matam entrance)
    Because I don’t know what to do with them – all the rest
    P.S. – All the cocky ones paired with Juhi, she’s really the best to handle them!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, that’s 3 times as many as I killed among the NRIs!

      I love your explanation for the cocky ones, you are right, give them all to Juhi and she will whip them into shape.

      And wait, you are having sex with Vicky???? This seems very risky!

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      • I figure as long as I’m not related to Madan Chopra or know any of the daughters, I should be safe. All that intensity and anger should be interesting! And I want to dance to ‘Kaali Kaali Aankhen’ with him, I think this was the very first song of Shahrukh I remember him in from childhood, it’s special! So just a dance and one night 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

          • Nah he can stay dead, don’t think there is any curing him of his Kiran obsession. Though I wouldn’t mind him singing ‘Jaadu Teri Nazar’ to me!

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  5. So I was thinking, easy peasy, I will marry Jug and Ram, and kill Shankar, Rahul, and Devdas, and have sex with everyone else, please and thank you. But if Jug is marrying me then obviously he has some weird thing about white women. And I thought about marrying Kabir, but he seems so intense. And I’m not into sports. I think I’m just going to marry Ram. Oh, Ghost! I could also marry Ghost.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Just to clarify, is Shankar sentenced to death because of the mullet? Or is there some greater personality sin he has done?

      And I don’t know, I picture Jug’s first wife as rich and sophisticated and ambitious type. While you would be the warm intellectual type who appreciates his Goa lifestyle. Totally different.

      And I assume you are now busy over on the NRI post making similar complex decisions?

      On Wed, Aug 14, 2019 at 5:33 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Just the mullet, basically. I don’t remember anything bad about the character.

        Yeah, I could certainly get behind living in that house in Goa. As long as I get to decorate the rest of it.

        I will attempt to decide on the NRI post, but I think I may have seen fewer of the movies.

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