I bought Albie Dog a little hat! And I found his bunny toy in the water dish. And these two things inspired me to write a pictorial tale of muuuuuuuuurrrrrrrder.
One morning the Great Detective Albus Baxter Barkeridge rose and exited his lovely home after a night of deep sleep.
In front of his eyes, a terrible sight! Elsie Bunny, face down in a water dish.
He turned her over and tried his best to save her, but it was too late, she was completely waterlogged. Dead Bunny.
Detective Barkeridge retreated to his thinking chair in order to observe the investigation, but remained ready to leap in as needed. When the police called, he was eager to assist!
With the help of his lovely assistant, Detective Barkeridge put on his detecting gear and prepared to investigate.
He carefully explored the scene of the crime.
He licked his lips in anticipation of a juicy problem to solve.
Then starred into the distance as he applied all of his Vast Intellect to this puzzle.
The papparazzi swarmed, and yet he was unmoved, seemingly unaware of all around him, such is the depth of his thought.
He reached out, the solution felt just out of grasp! But no, it was gone.
Fleeing the crowds, he retreated to his Thinking Chair, lost in the castle of his mind.
And then, a terrible vision! He saw himself, the night before in the same place, and curled up next to him……Elsie Bunny!!!!
Further visions, himself drooling and mouthing at a bone….a Bunny Bone!!!!
Yes, this was the terrible truth! Albus B. Barkeridge, that force for good in the world, at night transformed into a terrible ravening beast!!!!!
Detective Barkeridge, no, MURDERER Barkeridge, in an agony of guilt through himself into the captivity of the Authorities.
Brought before the court, he threw himself on their mercy (and feet)
But there was no hope for him, there must be justice, he found himself exiled to a cold and lonely cell.
There he sits to this day, a lesson to us all and a moral, Crime Will Always Be Punished.
THE END (that was quite a sad story in the end, wasn’t it?)
(Also, I feel there is a better title, perhaps with a dog-based pun in it, that I am missing. If you can think of one, suggest it!)
dontcallitbollywood 
Having to wear that hat is punishment enough.
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Strangely enough, he hates the hat. I keep explaining that it makes him look cute, but he doesn’t seem to care. Some day I am going to come into work to find the poor hat in the water dish.
On Tue, Oct 29, 2019 at 7:53 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Did Albie kill the bunny because the bunny discovered he was secretly gay and then hit his head and forget?
Very cute! Looks like he really likes having his picture taken.
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Albie has a delightful attitude towards the world in which everything is pleasant until proved otherwise, and even if it is unpleasant, he forgets in 5 seconds. So I don’t know if he likes having his picture taken, but he takes things as they come.
I’m thinking Albie Dog is a cannibal, willing to eat (or at least chew and destroy) even his closest friends.
On Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 12:13 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I have to intervene. Every defendant has the right of a lawyer!
I don’t think that it was murder but an unfortunate accident. He put the bunny at the bowl of water because Bunny was thirsty. Then he turned to his house to get to sleep and with his tail he bruches Bunny into the water while it was drinking. As Bunny has no hands it was doomed to drown.
Albie seriously tried to solve the death of his little friend but resigned not finding the solution. So, now he is imprisoned still having a clue who put the bunny into the water… double punishment!!! (grief having lost a friend and being in a cell).
What he needs is compassion not punishment!!!
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Your Honour! still NOT having a clue!!!
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See, it’s this kind of thinking that lets Albie Dogs roam free on the street, read to destroy again and again and AGAIN!!!! What would you say if I revealed that Elsie Bunny is just one of many of his victims? If in fact he has left a trail of destroyed bunnies in his wake, with no thought but his own pleasure in chewing?
On Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 5:52 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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So, why didn’t you intervene harshly when he did chew a bunny the first time??? Btw, t h i s bunny wasn’t chewed, wasn’t it? It has drowned. And it COULD be that THIS time Albie was quasi innocent… *cough, cough*
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I think I am one of those enabler types. I just keep buying him bunnies to destroy because it keeps him happy. This bunny, tragically, was both chewed and drowned. But better off than the last bunny whose legs and ears were ripped off in tug of war.
On Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 9:27 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Oh, and yes, I suspect either Albie Dog, or the cleaners who come into the office at night and tend to throw dog toys around wildly. He could, in fact, be innocent of this particular crime.
On Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 9:27 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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And now I feel the need for an all dog version of this number:
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Come to think of it, why hasn’t there been an all dog West Side Story yet?
On Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 9:15 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Right?
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There is only “Cats and Dogs”, I know of.
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