Saturday Small Talk: Chat Away While I Do Laundry!

Happy Saturday! I am going to write reviews and do laundry and then go to my friend’s birthday party tonight. Busy busy! You all get to entertain yourselves in the meantime.

Which Language Industry Should Remake This Plot?

First, I watched the second half of a classic Hollywood soaper One Way Passage last night and I can’t decide if it is more Malayalam or Tamil or Telugu. William Powell is a murderer on the run in Hong Kong. Kay Francis is a socialite traveling to forget her fatal heart condition. They travel on the same ship back to America, William Powell under arrest and traveling back to be hanged, and Kay Francis traveling with her doctor and under risk of not surviving the journey. Naturally, they fall in love. And naturally, neither of them tells the other of their problems. William Powell has a chance to escape, but learns of Kay Francis’ condition and that the slightest shock could kill her and chooses to stay so they can have a few weeks together, and pretends he doesn’t know she is dying. The day the ship docks, Kay learns that William Powell is going to be hung but manages to pretend she doesn’t know long enough to wish him a smiling good-bye. They agreed to meet a month later at a certain bar. The end of the film shows two empty glasses at the bar, suddenly breaking.

Image result for one way passage

Now, with the whole “I’m dying, he can never know!” and “I’m going to be hung as a murderer, she can never know!” misery, combined with the love story, and this is clearly a south Indian plot. Should it be Parvathy and Prithviraj’s next? Or Dhanush and Sai Pallavi? Or Sharwanand and Samantha Ruth Prabhu? Is it more Malayalam, Tamil, or Telugu?

I Saw Housefull 4! I’ll Be Reviewing it and Everything!

I also had a fabulous time and laughed and laughed. While being well aware that it is broad ridiculous stereotype based humor that I should be ashamed of myself for enjoying. What do you enjoy that you are ashamed of? Or are you better than me?

What Movie Plot Illogic Bothers You Intensely?

Housefull 4, of course, is extremely unbelievable and silly. But it has an internal logic that it sticks with straight through. Mahanati, on the other hand, fails even its internal logic (how do these children grow and shrink as time passes invisibly by?). Angie already brought up Kalank as well. What other movies make no sense internally?

How much time passes here? Where are Dulquer’s other wives and children? Where does all this money come from and go out?

35 thoughts on “Saturday Small Talk: Chat Away While I Do Laundry!

  1. I started watching Guzarrish yesterday and I’m embarrassed that it made me cry so hard that I had to pause the movie. I’m sobbing over a SLB movie, on a serious subject, with Hrithik & Aish emoting, what’s wrong with me? Felt equally embarrassed about Fanaa, so completely transparent and manipulative with an absolutely bonkers plot twist and Aamir playing a sooper spy and yet I cried so hard my husband asked me if I was okay.

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    • On the other hand, I laughed straight through The King’s Speech and I feel no shame! That movie is hilarious!

      On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 9:20 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • I cried until the last half hour and then SLB piled on the melodrama and voila, tears replaced by eyerolls. Introducing Aish’s husband plus the person who sabotaged Hrithik into his injury plus Aditya being the son of that person, all at the very end of the film, ffs. I was willing to put up with ridiculously opulent interiors in every scene (including the courtroom) and Aish as a nurse dressed as a flamenco dancer but then it went too far.

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        • Important SLB question: did anyone have sex in a room filled with candles at any point?

          On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 3:51 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. `
    Wow. One Way Passage. Real happy ending!

    I can’t stand the “He/She must never know” trope. I always end up yelling at the screen, JUST TELL HIM/HER already.

    Don’t remake it is my vote.

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  3. I just wanted to come back and say my temperature has gone back down to normal, and I’m still hacking up a lung, but I’ll hopefully be well enough to go back to work on Monday.

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  4. Dhanush already has a movie with “I’m sick but will never admit it to my lover” and Prithviraj and Parvathy already have “My Story” (btw it’s a perfect example of the movie with illogical plot) so they are not good choices for your remake. I don’t know why but I can see Asif Ali as the protagonist. He was so good in his short love story in Virus, I need to see him again in a heartbreaking role.

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    • I could see that, a sweet boy wanting to get free of his crimes opposite a sweet girl who is dying. And then we have a tinky-tinky love song, and long sun and shadow close ups of their faces, and we end up a slow pull back crane shot showing the people moving in the streets as this small tragedy has made not a single change to their lives.

      On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 11:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  5. So the under-arrest murderer is left to run around the ship having love affairs? Unique security system! It’s always nice to have it confirmed that silly plots are a world-wide phenomenon, and also that romance can work in any circumstance.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh oh! My favorite part! The cop who arrested him is sympathetic, and also distracted by his friend and fellow con-person who starts up a romance with him. So our hero and heroine end up dead, but the cop and conwoman decide to get married and move out to a farm.

      On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 2:50 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Happies ending! 🙂
        I wonder if that sympathetic cop approach sounded as silly back when the film was made as it does now? I suppose a long journey by ship gives time for anything to play out, as opposed to a quick plane trip now.

        I so agree that the ‘I will keep the truth from my love, rather suffer in silence’ plot device can be infuriating and frustrating. It places so little trust in the one being kept in the dark. Imagine An Affair to Remember if he had walked away, never realising about the accident. You would want to throw something at the screen. Kal Ho Naa Ho – when he tells Naina he is already married to save her knowing the truth – aarrgghhh!

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        • YES! Just tell her/him the truth and let her/him make up her/his own mind! Also, have you seen this fan video?

          On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 3:42 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  6. Kalank is the king of illogical movies, but Aashiqui 2 is also very good example of this genre.
    I know it’s a remake, but I haven’t seen any earlier or later versions, and I ask: doesn’t Aditya and Shraddha know theraphy exists? An alcoholic can stop drinking, it’s possible, one doesn’t have to kill himself. The ending was so stupid I was angry for days, and today, years later I’m still not able to watch A Star is Born.

    Liked by 1 person

    • No no, Love is the only true cure for alcoholism. And if you don’t love him enough, he will die. A valuable lesson for all those teenage Aashiqui 2 fans.

      On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 3:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Aashiqi 2’s ending drives me NUTS for the exact reason Angie mentioned. In general sad movie endings that don’t need to be sad make me
        illogically angry! Kedarnath’s ending, for example, is the stupidest ending ever!!! Throw the father out of the aircraft and let Sara and Sushant live HEA! The father sucks anyways!

        In a similar vein (and in line with I’m sick but won’t tell anyone) Devdas’s ending also drives me nuts. SRK-you are an alcoholic whose liver is failing, why would you drink just because Jackie asks you to??!!! Just tell him what’s going on, get help, and go marry Madhuri!

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        • Kedarnath is SO INFURIATING!!!! The obvious solution is to throw the father out of the helicopter, just like the Nazi father in Foreign Correspondent. Not to mention Evil Fiance, who deserves to die alone and afraid with us all pointing and laughing, and we don’t get that scene either.

          On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 8:43 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  7. Question: Today a lot of people on twitter decided to post their favourite movies from 2010 to 2019, and almost everyone put Band Baaja Baaraat as their pick for 2010. Is it really that good? Should I watch it?

    Oh and maybe you could write a post about your favourites?

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    • Are you trying to incite civil war???? I think BBB is a good movie that fails so entirely in the second half it retroactively ruins the first half. Other people on DCIB believe that it is a good movie straight through? One of those impossible disagreements that it is best to just not discuss.

      Anyway, that is kind of a fun challenge! And maybe a theme for next week? A review each day representing 2010-2019?

      On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 3:37 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • I only watched a handful of the 2010 releases, but I genuinely enjoyed BBB. I agree with Margaret to an extent, there was a good chunk of the second half that felt like a huge snooze fest and I was rolling my eyes the entire time, but Ranveer is so charming and genuinely GOOD, especially for a debut role, his chemistry with Anushka is incredible (a close second to Deepika imo, that will definitely start some civil wars), and Ainvayi Ainvayi is one of my all time favorite Bollywood tracks. When I went to watch it, it wasn’t available on streaming anywhere, so I bought it on YouTube movies and in my eyes it was worth the 10 bucks I spent on it. I’d say check it out.

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      • Ha!! If anything can incite a civil war in the DCIB community, it’s BBB. To me, BBB is SO GOOD!!! It’s charming, unassuming, clever, and swooney! Anushka has a ton of agency before and after the annoying sequence Margaret is referring to. It’s fantastic!

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        • But Ranveer is trash! Horrible! Undeserving to live! If Anushka was my friend, I would warn her away from him and never support them together after that thing.

          On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 8:26 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Agree that Ranveer, and Anushka considering it was only her second or third movie, were really truly sincerely GOOD. Which is why I hate the movie. I believed in their characters and that way that Ranveer behaved with Anushka is something I could never forgive in a real person, so I can’t forgive it in him. Unlike if it were a stupid movie where I didn’t care about either of them. Bad Ranveer, BAD!

        On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 8:06 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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    • Joining in on the BBB appreciation. It’s one of my favorite romcoms of the decade! Like everyone said Anushka and Ranveer are great and have fantastic chemistry. The post interval bit honestly annoyed me the first time I watched it but during my rewatch I honestly did not find it as bad as I remembered

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      • In my rewatch, it started out not bothering me that much, and then it kept building and building, and really bothered me. In a believable realistic way, but a believable realistic way that would make me say “Anushka, as your friend, I am telling you to never trust or forgive Ranveer again”

        On Sat, Nov 16, 2019 at 11:24 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  8. From memory, it is a good watch. Ranveer made a debut splash with it and it was fun and entertaining. Best film of the year? I know I’m biased but My Name is Khan also released that year. Interesting to flick through a list of releases – Dabangg, Once Upon a Time in Mumbai, Housefull, and a film I only managed to watch 20 minutes of Tees Maar Khan

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  9. Did you see that Amitabh is on bed rest? Plus, many of his twitter posts have been about his children . . . when they were children. That makes me think it’s serious and now I’m worried.

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  10. If anyone is interested to see Suhana Khan acting for the first time, her little short film is out. She made it with her high school friend.

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  11. watched the Modern Love episode” “When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist” featuring Catherine Keener, Andy Garcia, Dev Patel, and Caitlin McGee–and seems its a tailor-made romantic story for Hindi movie adaptation that can feature SRK, Madhuri, Ranbir, Aalia along with anil kapoor and Juhi -with great story of bringing past and present of unrequited love across generations to a great ending -and beginning maybe–Am sure with your vivid imagination and deeper analysis you can create a full storyboard and send it to Dharma !!

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    • I liked this episode a lot. I started watching for Dev Patel, but at the end I was so in love with Andy Garcia and his little story. Dev was good but his story was weak, especially compared with the other one.

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