Happy Saturday! I am back at my apartment, with Albie Dog, and my only plan for the weekend is to keep sorting books. It’s nice, sort of soothing activity that also feels vaguely productive.
Things to talk about!
AbRam’s birthday was this week! And Gauri Khan posted a sweet thing on instagram, Shahrukh reading aloud to him to celebrate.
It is a week filled with birthdays! Maddy, Nargis, Sunil Dutt, Sonakshi Sinha, all their birthdays coming up! There’s a thing to talk about, which of these birthdays are you most excited about? Like me, are you strangely fond of Sonakshi Sinha?
And that’s kind of it! There’s no other fun cheerful news stories today, and I’m still feeling a little fragile so I am keeping it on the fun and cheerful side of things as much as possible.
Oh, here’s a fun cheerful thing! We’ve been talking about Kimmy Schmidt, the super happy Netflix show. If you were to remake Kimmy Schmidt in India, how would you make it?
Just gonna throw out there to start, Kirron Kher has to play Lillian. And I kind of maybe want Karan Johar for Titus?
dontcallitbollywood 
I feel like part of the enjoyment of Lillian is Carol-Kane-the-performer’s highbrow resume, though. At least for me. So how about Shabana Azmi?
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Oooo, that might be fun!
On Sat, May 30, 2020 at 8:52 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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If Govinda wasn’t such an idiot, I’d suggest him for Titus, but as it stands, I guess Karan.
Or that guy who played Sudo in SOTY. He’d be great.
I agree with Shabana for Lillian, also because I was just thinking about that character yesterday and she’s actually complex and very difficult to play.
Kimmy…. IDK? Tapsee? For Jacqueline a Southern actress? Or go the other way and cast Karisma?
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Oh oh! Kareena for Jacqueline!!!!!
Sudo from SOTY is actually Boman Irani’s son, so I think that is an excellent idea, partly because we could get some good Boman cameos.
On Sat, May 30, 2020 at 9:19 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Kareena would be the most perfect thing.
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I would love to read a Hindi 101 post about Govinda written by you, Popka Superstar.
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I’d love to do one (if Margaret wanted one, of course, or I suppose I could do one on my blog), but I’d have to do a ton of research. I know a lot about his movies and his private life, but little about how he’s been perceived and what the cultural discourse has been. If there’s wider interest I could do it, though.
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See, this is why you are one of the few people I might actually consider allowing to do a guest post! Because your reaction is “oh boy, I’d have to do a lot of research and be sure of myself before I was ready”. So nice to know there are other people out there who think about these topics as seriously as I do.
On Sat, May 30, 2020 at 10:52 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Are there other people who’d like to do some? I think most people here are pretty serious but if you got some random fan it would be difficult.
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I think the people here, like you, that I would trust to write an article are, like you, cautious about committing to that much work. I would only give space to something that is equal quality in writing, research, and originality to my own work.
On Sat, May 30, 2020 at 2:20 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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You know, that means a lot. Well, I’ll have a preliminary look to see if it’s doable, if you’re amendable.
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Bolly Hungama talked to single-screen exhibitors about the kind of films they want from the industry:
https://www.bollywoodhungama.com/news/features/explosive-single-screen-exhibitors-slam-bollywood-urge-make-pan-india-commercial-films-part-1/
https://www.bollywoodhungama.com/news/features/explosive-single-screen-exhibitors-slam-bollywood-emphasize-rohit-shetty-not-vishal-bhardwaj-type-cinema-part-2/
It got me thinking about a lot of things, not all good. I think you’ll find some of your views and thoughts echoed here. There are some hilarious takedowns of actors, directors, critics. Best is on Hrithik and Ranbir: ‘They want to become accomplished artists. For what? Why can’t they make a normal film?’ 😀
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Thank you! And also, what a depressing day for me. This is like seeing all my darkest thoughts written out in black and white and impossible to deny. The big name stars aren’t making enough movies, the multiplex obsession and “good movie” obsession from the industry is killing the business, the people on the street do not have access to streaming options and are being unserved and no one cares, the critics and industry are locked in a vicious bad feedback cycle, and most of all, it is money money money strangling the actual health of the industry, the wealthy 10% being served at the expense of the 90% who are the lifeblood of the industry.
I guess I should be proud that they are saying what I first said over 4 years ago? Stars need to work more, the industry needs to quit listening to critics, multiplexes only serve a limited number of audience members, the southern industry is steadily taking audience from the northern because they actually make good movies still. Oh, and Hollywood is rapidly taking over the country. Only thing it doesn’t say is my suspicion, the Hollywood studios are investing in India in order to drive the Hindi industry out of business, funding the exact kind of films that will lose them audiences until the audience is left only with Hollywood.
On Sat, May 30, 2020 at 1:27 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I thought of Sai Pallavi as Kimmy. She might be too young, but I think she could nail the over the top innocence without making it seem jarring.
Maybe like 30 years down the line, Rani would be good for Lillian, but only for the voice.
I can’t think of any other better ones for Titus. And the more I think about Kareena as Jacqueline, the more perfect it is.
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Oooo, good one! Alternative suggestion, Konkona Sen Sharma. She’s a little old for the role, but that’s kind of the point, Kimmy is supposed to be at least 30 at the start of the series just with the mannerisms of a much younger person.
On Sun, May 31, 2020 at 5:51 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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