I saw a friend on Saturday that I haven’t seen since quarantine started, and it was surprisingly sort of sane-making to tell her what my life is and hear what hers is. Something about feeling seen and real by sharing, and making sense of it by saying everything that happened in order instead of just bits and pieces. So it made me think that I should give the same option here, to our DCIB community. Tell your story, read other people’s stories, feel a little less alone and a little more stable.
I’ll tell you my story quickly to start us off. You’ve been hearing bits and pieces all along, but putting it in one long string is part of what is sane-making.
In March, my boss sent us all home and closed the office. A week after that, I traveled out of the city to go to my aunt’s small family burial. I came home and began packing up to move in with my parents, because one week of working from home with no social activities possible had began to really mess with my brain. I moved in with my parents lock stock and barrel, brought over all my food, all my clothes, all my work equipment, everything. Organized their guestroom/extra room so that it was fully set up for me to live there. I got into a routine through the Spring of mostly being at my parents, and going to my own apartment for little one night getaways.
In the summer, we opened up the family lake house. My parents and I went up there for two week stretches once a month. In between, I started spending more time at my apartment and slowly bringing things back over. I also began having weekly friend virtual movie nights as everyone began to figure out Zoom and alternate online socializing methods. At the end of July, I had foot surgery, and was locked at my parents’ for a month, with another trip up to the lake house in the middle of that.
Now, since the past few weeks, I have a new routine. I brought clothes and things back over to my place and I did a big grocery shop to restock the cupboards. I’m doing three nights a week at my parents and 4 nights at my own place. I have a regular social life again, weekly movie night followed by long Zoom call with friends, and then most weekends I arrange an in person outdoor meet-up with a friend, plus the movie discussion group I joined last fall that used to meet once a month is now meeting online every two weeks by Zoom.
So, that’s me. It’s not exciting or important, but it is my life, and I feel better for having written it all out and made sense of it. If you are willing, please do the same in the comments. I care about you and I am interested.
dontcallitbollywood 
Well, there is currently a second wave of infections in Finland. Our school has now gone distant by Zoom and Google Classroom. Thankfully an Autumn Holiday starts next week. It’s nice to be at home, sleep for a longer time (my school trip would otherwise be 1 hour with a mask on and I would have to wake up 1 hour before) and technically take breaks whenever I finish assignments or when others have their lunch, while I eat much later in the day. For the first day with distant school, this is all working well!
Music from the late 1960s (well, from Woodstock 69′) to the early 90s as well as Indian music is keeping me positive. The only piece of clothing I have bought was a short jacket since this whole thing has killed my liking for buying clothes.
And my goodness is ‘Hotel California’ such a good song! I mean in both lyrics and music-wise. Such a good piece! Naturally, I’ve only listened to the Peter & Bruno version, but they and their music is really the medicine I need right now in dealing with the current situation.
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So, for the past 6 months, you went from quarantine with your parents in your summer place for a while, then slowly reopening, then starting school like usual, and now shutting down again? Is that right?
And you’ve discovered music in a different way? That’s good, that’s nice. I’m discovering reading in a different way. Or rather, rediscovering. Before college, I used to read for pleasure like a drug, just sit and lose myself for hours at a time. College reading was so heavy that I cut out pleasure reading to make space for it. And after college, with jobs and stress and things, I couldn’t stop my brain enough to read, I needed the total distraction of TV. But slowing down and simplifying life has made me able to escape into books again in a way I had almost forgotten.
Also, I have bought SO MANY clothes! Mostly because of living with my parents, who have higher clothes standards than I do (I’m more on the “wear it until it doesn’t fit or is literally rags” side of things).
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 11:28 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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We were in our Summer Cottage for a while at late Spring/early Summer, but then we weren’t there the whole summer at all since one of my uncles occupied it for the whole time. We’ve mostly been here in Espoo where our family home is and did some trips here and there in Finland. Not much moving otherwise unless necessary. And yeah, your timeline is right.
It’s nice to see how active of a reader you are. For myself, I read only if the book interests me enough right now, otherwise, they stay unread. Been mostly concentrating on writing right now, since I have ample time and the motivation to do it thanks to school.
And I am so glad you can buy clothes! I have the same “wearing until you can’t” mentality when it comes to it.
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Your writing ethic makes me feel bad. Sure, I write 2-4 thousand words a day, but there’s no real goal to it, it’s just blog chatter. If I were more dedicated, I would get serious about working on something that could turn into something real. You actually inspired me to start thinking about if there is a creative writing program I could join, just to give me assignments and feedback and definition.
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 11:44 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Aw, I’m honoured. Thank you and you’re welcome! It is really satisfying when others read your stories. I find it so helpful because for so long my stories have only stayed in my head or at my own private place. It really makes you excited, especially since everyone is trying to reach the same place and to see how other people read what you write. It really helps!
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My husband and I moved to a retirement community not far from our old home in mid-March. The retirement community – about 2500 residents and 1500 staff – was closed to outsiders three days before we moved in. We stayed pretty much in our two-bedroom apartment for two months, except for outdoor walks around the large campus. All of our meals were delivered from the dining rooms, and we filled in with a few groceries using online ordering and touch free delivery. The village has been slowly opening up, as we have had no active cases among residents since the end of July. Masks and social distancing are required outside our apartments, but we can now eat in the restaurants and meet in small groups. Outside visitors have been permitted since the end of July, with proper precautions.
As for my own activities, I have been working on my writing, but the research has stalled because the libraries are still closed and the materials I need are not online. So instead, I have sewn masks, joined three book clubs, and done a lot of reading. I learned to use Zoom and have been hosting various events at least once a week.I have watched movies with friends using NetflixParty and Watch2Gether. I went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina with three friends in late July, to the western shore of Chesapeake Bay with my husband and two other friends in August, and we just got back from traveling to California to visit a friend in Sonoma Country (by rail both ways). There are lots of places in our area that have outdoor dining (limited seats and masks required) and we have been going out to eat once every week or so. The only real downer has been not seeing my daughter and son and their families very often. Both of them have autoimmune disorders that put them at high risk, and they are also being very careful around their “elderly” parents. I appreciate it, but 😦
My sense right now is that we have reached a point where things have plateaued to a cautious new normal. I don’t expect a huge change either way for a while (at least a couple of months).
And now I have to go because the International Film Club has a Zoom meeting in three minutes and they have invited me to join them!
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I also have that feeling of “new normal”. You hear people say “it can’t go on like this” and I think “really, right now, it kind of can”. At least for me. I couldn’t have done no contact with friends at all indefinitely, but now that research shows masks and outdoor meetings are safe, and now that Netflix Party and Zoom have all their kinks worked out and everyone knows how to use them, and all that other stuff, I am feeling less, I don’t know, panicky? Like, I can go on like this for now. It’s easier in a lot of ways now that it is semi-permanent. I would never have bought an elliptical even 3 months ago, but now I have, and now I don’t care about the gyms opening or not opening. My parents were really missing eating out, but now there are signed up with two wonderful subscription services that provide super fancy gourmet heat-at-home meals, that didn’t exist 6 months ago, and that’s a different kind of fun.
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 12:59 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thanks for sharing. Our troubles started in March when more and more areas were closing their daycare centers and schools and we didn’t know where we’d put our baby boy in order to be able to go to work. Then “luckily” we got the full lockdown for I think something around six weeks. My wife was sent home during that time on something like temporary unemployment money, so she could take care of the kid while I locked myself in our bedroom and worked as best I could. We hated that even the playgrounds were closed, so we had the boy just playing ball in the parks and climbing trees. Plus, we do have a great back yard with a sandbox at least. For my birthday in April my wife got me a hammock from one of the few open shops and we put it up there. We had also started a gardening group with some neighbors this winter, so we have been cultivating one of the wild corners of that back yard and are now harvesting zucchini and pumpkin and cucumbers.
Travel and tourism within Germany were possible again by the time our pre-booked vacation came around, so we could spend it at the Baltic Sea as planned.
Now my wife is back to working normally. We wear masks when we leave our kid at the daycare center and we don’t get to enter the actual rooms. They’re cutting out things like the annual lantern parade, where parents would get to socialize, but otherwise things are back to pretty normal. I have moved my computer back to the desk in the living room, where I work most days. I do drive into the office once a week, though, when we need to finish an issue and can’t waste time always having to get on the phone.
So all in all: Yeah, we’re doing really well over here. Even my Zumba classes have just started again.
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So, sounds like you are at the “no big gatherings, masks if possible, but otherwise do whatever” kind of life? And like the rest of us, you are settling in for this just being how things are indefinitely, and it’s okay.
I am jealous of the garden. I missed having something to do outside during the summer, and I also missed a kind of sense of growth and time passing that my friends who gardened seemed to have. You may not know when you were going back to work/school, but you could watch your zucchini crop come in no matter what. I suppose same with having a toddler! Your son is going to keep growing and learning every day no matter what else is happening in the world.
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 1:50 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m not so sure about being able to keep this up indefinitely, but that’s only partly because of the pandemic and probably more because of other stressors in my life. I am starting to miss the option of like giving my colleague a hug when things get stressful and stuff like that.
My job with the garden is mostly keeping the toddler out of everyone’s hair. But still, it builds community, and that is really great right now.
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I was teaching in Bhubaneswar, India when it hit. We had a total lockdown and couldn’t leave the house without police permission. No buses, trains or planes. Daily wage earners stuck in Mumbai and Delhi had to walk to their villages, in some cases for hundreds of kilometres.
I had gotten a new job in Canada but had no way to get there until the Indian government started sone evacuation flights to rescue Indians stranded in Canada. I got on a flight to Toronto, with two months before the new job and no place to stay (my damiky is out West, but flights only went to Toronto). In Toronto, I had to do a 14 day quarantine and did it in an AirBnb. Then, I travelled to Ottawa where I could stay with friends for 2 weeks.
I was able to travel to my new job location, but only after another quarantine in Montreal where I waited for my Covid test results. Finally flew up north to the Canadian Arctic where I had yet another 14 day quarantine. As there is no covid in Nunavut, we “Southerners” had to be very strictly quarantined. I could not leave the house at all.
If I want to travel home for Christmas, I eill be looking at another strict quarantine. I may just stay up north.
By the way, it’s quite a change from 15 yrs in SE Asia and India to the Arctic!
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How long have you been settled in to Nunavut now? And is it a normal routine there now that all your quarantines are over, since there are no cases?
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I got here in August. Quarantine continues to be very strict as workers from the south come up from Quebec. Montreal is a red zone. The concern is that they will bring covid up here with them. Extra caution is needed as the Inuit see Southerners as potentially bringing disease into their community. It isnot so long ago that white people brought smallpox and other diseases that were previously unknown in the region. Many Inuit died due to the carelessness of white people and the memory is still fresh.
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Beyond quarantine, that is, outside of that two week requirement for new arrivals, are there any other changes?
I’m curious because I was just talking with a friend whose parents live in a rural area, not extremely rural just mildly so, and we were discussing how little their lives have been affected. They already spent most of their time at home, working in the yard or otherwise enjoying nature in solitude. They tended to only go into town for shopping once a week or less. They got together with friends very occasionally and in small groups. So all the recommended behaviors are what they were already doing.
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 5:30 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes. It’s pretty much the same as elsewhere in Canada. Masks are mandatory indoors, there’s social distancing, etc. In school, we’ve set up hall traffic so kids don’t cross each other, lots of hand sanitizer, etc. About the only difference is that we are allowed to have recess. Infection rates are very low in Canada compared to the US as people do comply with the rules and there are hefty fines to ensure this (e.g. if you have a gathering at home with more than 10 people, it’s $1,000 a head)
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I have a friend who is a school secretary at a Montessori school here, and their new policy is “masks and outdoors, all the time”. Classes are outside for the foreseeable future, the kids and parents are told to just dress for the whether as much as you can and plan to be outside all day. That’s not going to work eventually, the Chicago winter is too cold, but they really can do it for maybe all but 2 months. I’m curious to learn if they end up closing for two months, or having the kids learn remotely, or go inside like your school just for then.
The other cute thing they are doing is all the teachers have a photo of themselves pinned to their shirts. Because the really little kids won’t be able to recognize them in masks.
On Mon, Oct 5, 2020 at 6:07 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I went home from the office in mid March thinking we might be shut down for a month or two. This week will be the first time I go back, I have a 30 minute time slot to pick up anything I need that’s still there. We’ve been told we don’t have a return date at this point.
I’ve been working from home, which is fine since I already did that at least once a week and my company was fully set up for it. What is different is having everyone else home with me. Definitely more distracting overseeing two elementary aged kids trying to learn from home, plus dividing up twice a day meal prep and clean up with my husband. He’s also been working from home since March, except when he’s out for field work.
The spring really felt like survival mode. School for the kids was minimal, I was supplementing a lot with projects I had to make up and then supervise. We were in strict lockdown mode, only seeing our friends who lived next door, our two families made a pod that kept us all sane. As summer arrived, I remember a moment when we started hanging out on the stoop and talking to more neighbors, or friends who stopped by, letting the kids play with a couple other kids out on the sidewalk, and it felt a little risky but such a relief, so joyful.
I couldn’t bear the thought of being in the house all summer, and then probably again in the fall, so we drove out to stay with my family in Denver. Three weeks at my mom’s, with small outdoor gatherings with my uncle and my aunt and her family, then three weeks at my dad’s, including some time in the mountains. I worked all but about a week and a half. My older kid went on a one week backpacking camp with about 10 kids. My dad has two boys just a bit older than mine, they all hung out together and played under the supervision of a babysitter while the adults worked.
Work was really intense all summer as we rapidly rebuilt our curriculum for remote learning and created resources for teachers. It was good to be away and to spend time with family but it wasn’t a relaxing vacation. I feel like it was great for the kids, though, totally worth it for them to see their grandparents and family and switch up the routine. The last week of summer we went to the shore, and hung out with friends who were staying nearby on the beach.
Fall feels much more like a new normal. We see more friends in outdoor settings. School is still remote, we’re still doing taekwondo by Zoom, but the kids are playing soccer. Work has calmed down a bit, the new focus is on thinking about what changes are likely to persist and how we need to change in response. We’re ordering in food occasionally. We have two friend groups we Zoom with now and then, though I definitely have video conference fatigue since I’m on all day for work. We went camping last weekend with a group of families and the kids all ran around the woods together. It still feels hard to plan for the future, even the holidays. We feel like we can’t do anything that involves travel or advance arrangements since everything can still change with little warning. I wonder about the cold months and if we’ll be back to just our pod for the winter. It feels sustainable but definitely a shrunken version of our lives, without the broader circle of community, and missing a lot of the adventure we enjoy.
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I can’t remember if I mentioned this, but my office had the blessing of losing our lease at the end of April. We also went home with the idea that it was temporary, but when we lost the lease, everyone went in and took what they needed and the rest went to a storage unit. At the time, my boss was actively looking for a new office, with the thinking that we would move in sometime in July or so, maybe do more flex hours and working from home. Now, it’s just indefinite, he’s bought home office supplies for folks that have asked (he paid for my new standing desk for my apartment), and we are hunkered in. I can’t imagine working from home and knowing that my office still exists somewhere, waiting for me. That sounds far more disorienting, what you are going through.
I’m so glad you got that time in Denver. It sounds like it filled so many needs, you got to see extended family, you got to be in the open spaces, the boys got a lot of new challenges and changes around them to shake things up a bit. Little nuts for the winter to keep you going.
I’ve been thinking about the holidays a bit too. The nice thing is, Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas always come. We don’t always celebrate them the same way, but they still come none the less. The calendar moves forward.
On Tue, Oct 6, 2020 at 12:52 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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In the beginning of March I was hounding our school board to come up with a plan. And finally they did, a week before the county shut everything down even though there hadn’t been any cases in the community. After that happened going to the grocery store was an experience in adrenaline control. The community just north of us had the first fatality, a father who worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. The grocery chain that he worked at instituted the best practices, distancing, masks, no bags etc before any of the other stores were forced to, and that became the place to shop. We bought groceries once every two weeks, storing food in the garage. Nothing except the grocery stores were open. We went from having kids over every day after school to seeing no one. Because we are rural we could still go outside, but it was interesting how hollow everything seemed without friends. The isolation clearly affected my family more than others. It has been eye-opening to see how social we are.
Our states’ shelter in place orders lasted a long time, but before they ended every little patch of dirt on public land had a car camping on it. Official campgrounds were closed, but people wanted out of the cities, and it is legal to camp on most forest and federal land. We knew we were mixing with the tourists at the grocery store, but from what I know, the cases that have come into our community did not come from tourists. They came from people like me, leaving to see family who lived in the cities, and bringing the virus back. Not that I’ve actually brought the virus back, but I have left, multiple times to see family. I don’t actually know how many more years I have with my parents, and my kids are young. So not seeing grandparents for a year? I’d rather homeschool. Which in fact I’m doing now!
There were tons of meetings about re-opening the schools, plans were made and voted on. But then there was a outbreak of COVID in the nursing home in town the week before school was to start, and the by state rules all county education went online. But then rates fell, and we had no cases at all for at least a week. Kindergarten through 2nd grade went back to in person learning today. But not my youngest. Today was our first day of homeschool, I want to be able to see the grandparents. Especially as one may well be dying. Of course we can’t see him in the hospital. With Covid restrictions he is only allowed one visitor. My husband is going ballistic. His father is sick, he can’t see him, and soon he won’t be able to help his mother because he has to go back into the classroom to teach October 12. Oh, but guess what, this last week, after two weeks of 0 cases, we got 9 new COVID cases in the community. BEcause the population is so small, we only need a couple more, and then the schools get shut down AGAIN. But there is always a delay. Most likely my spouse will be teaching in person classes on the 12 and by the 19th will be back to teaching distance learning.
Interestingly after things had reopened, local businesses in town were hopping. People were walking into stores and buying EVERYTHING they needed to go camping, sleeping bags, pads, tents; restaurants were doing okay. BUT then the CA fires and the closure of the forests totally shut everything down. It was like a ghost town. But they just sorta reopened, so hopefully local businesses will get some more hop in before the snow falls. The fall colors are particularly beautiful right now.
I recognize this writing is disjointed and rambling. That is how it feels. We never know what is going to happen week to week. We have a roof over our heads and money for food, but we don’t have a sense of stability. Of course it could be worse. I can post things like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWE5RXiXDlc to youtube that makes everyone think we live in the best world possible. I hope my children think we live in the best world possible. I know some of our stress trickles down to them, but I hope we can keep most of it away.
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Oh Genevieve!!!! You have just been out there by yourselves being buffeted by fate! The uncertainty of it, that must be exhausting. Especially while trying to keep things stable and safe and certain for your kids.
I hadn’t thought before about what a fragile bubble a small town is. I mean, you know who the person was who was the first fatality in your community. Just a few cases is enough to close the schools. You are a little island floating together and relying on each other. And the advantage of that is supposed to be community, everyone knows and cares about everyone else, you can gather together in sadness and happiness. Only right now, you can’t even do that. You have all the interdependence of a small community, without the shared strength. I don’t know if I am making sense, but it just feels awful, what you are describing.
I’ve picked the happiest possible movie for this Friday which your boys will/would love, I will give you whatever homeschooling help I can, and I’ll be praying for you (in my loosey-goosey “God is the spirit of love and connectedness of the universe” kind of way).
On Tue, Oct 6, 2020 at 1:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Japan has never been locked down; in fact it’s not certain if under current law the Prime Minister or whoever can lock a country down. We went through a period in March where they were strongly suggesting that everyone not travel and stay home as much as possible. So I did. Through June I was only going to my office to teach remotely, home, and one trip per week to the grocery store. We opened up a bit in July and August and I started going places on the bus and we taught some of our classes in person. I made some cautious plans to travel the safe places in my country (=not Tokyo) by train over summer vacation. Then in August we had an outbreak in my small city, just in time to ruin those plans. (We have a numerical threat level, from 0 which is no cases for a long time, to 4 which is a state of emergency. It’s done by number of cases per capita, and since my city is small 30 cases brought us up to 3, which is strongly recommended to stay indoors). I spent August indoors. In September I got out a bit but still no travel. The threat level is down to 1 again, so we are teaching face to face, but our students couldn’t do their mandatory study abroad, so I’m teaching an extra six hours a week. In case it’s not clear, that’s a ton of extra teaching, and I’m doing it all in a mask. I’m so exhausted I slept through my alarm this morning for the first time in my entire life.
The foreign community as a whole has been underwhelmed by Japan’s response (that is, they haven’t been very forceful about telling people to stay home) but on the whole I think we are doing OK. Infection rates are low and death rates are disproportionately low. I do feel lucky to be here, and simultaneously worried about the lackadaisical government response.
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Teaching in a mask sounds so HORRIBLE!!! I noticed this weekend how exhausted I was just talking face to face with good friends in a mask. I was talking louder and with more expression, like trying to make up for them not being able to see the bottom half of my face. And it was hot, and it was slightly harder to breath. All these things that aren’t really a problem, but after talking for 2 hours, you just get tired faster and start to notice them.
Are you able to go for walks? This is partly my lack of knowledge about Japanese cities, do you have nice walk options? Are there pleasant parks scattered about? Are the streets easily walkable with sidewalks and things? Or is it just so crowded you can’t go out at all?
On Tue, Oct 6, 2020 at 9:30 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Here in Sicily the school reopened 2 weeks ago and I was shocked when my son told me they must wear the masks all the time. I was sure they will only use it while entering but no, they have to wear it for 6 hours everyday. The kids are exausted, not only because of masks but also the lessons are a little longer than last year and because all the lighter subjects like P.E, Music are missing. I’m so angry with this school right now.
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Are the lighter subjects missing because of quarantine or because of other reasons?
This sounds just exhausting for a little guy! 6 hours is a long school day anyway, and 6 hours masked without PE is terrible.
On Wed, Oct 7, 2020 at 8:32 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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The teached said it’s because of Covid, but we discovered that other clases have PE, so it’s only because she doesn’t want to do it. Last year there was no Covid and she had other excuse. They also didn’t have even one geography or history lesson so far. So it’s 6 hours a day with almost only italian, maths and english. I’m not surprised the kids are tired.
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That’s exhausting! And nothing fun to learn about. Is the school structured so he has the same teacher multiple years in a row?
On Wed, Oct 7, 2020 at 12:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes, they have one main teacher who does all those “important” classes like Italian/Grammar, Maths/Geometry, Science during all 5 years of Elementary school.
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Oh BLECH! And no way of gently asking the principal to move your son to a different class?
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We are teaching in masks all day. You do get used to it. The hard part for me is that I am teaching English as a 2nd language to grades 3 and 4. It is very hard to learn a language when you can’t see the teacher’s mouth! I know there are masks online with see-through panels, but these are not available to me in my tiny Arctic community, nor can I get the materials to make one. I just enunciate very well!
Primary kids in my community do not wear masks but can’t mix outside of their homerooms. Grade 5 and up wear masks all day. It really is not that bad: you get used to it and it keeps everyone safe; it’s a small price to pay.
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I also teach in English to Japanese students. I think I’m going to get one of those plastic shields for when I am in front of the class and speaking, and then mask up when I go close to their desks. That will help them understand me, but there’s no way to help me understand them. They keep getting all sad and defeated even though I keep telling them it’s not their pronunciation, it’s the mask.
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I wonder how expensive it would be to get the masks with the clear panel for all your students? Probably too expensive, but that’s the only thing I can think of which would help them. Poor kids.
On Thu, Oct 8, 2020 at 7:28 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes, lots of walks. Even big cities like Tokyo are quite walkable with trees and sidewalks, and I live on the outskirts of a small city. If I walk about 20 minutes from my apartment, I’m out among the mountains and rice fields in real rural Japan. So, even in quarantine (-ish) I can always do that.
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Oh, that sounds nice! I’m near a bunch of parks and a one long walk along the canal, but getting out into the real country would be nice.
On Thu, Oct 8, 2020 at 7:30 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’ve talked about my situation over several comments, but I’ll put it all here.
I teach in a public school in New Jersey. Mid March was when everything shut down, as when it probably did for everyone. They gave us a few days to figure out how remote teaching was going to work, but it was sort of a free-for-all. There were no real requirements about live lectures over Zoom or how much content you were responsible for. It got more specific as we went on, but it was basically “post content, give them work, make sure they’re doing it, reach out if they’re not.” I taped a selfie stick to a pot to record videos on my phone that I posted to YouTube and sent out to my kids. I occasionally met with them over Google Meet, pretty much once a week, and only the kids who reached out for help. That, of course, went through the rest of the school year. I didn’t see anyone aside from my parents, and my sister, who I lived with, for months, aside from the occasional Zoom/Facebook call with friends, which was really only I think a couple times. It was stifling.
Things began to gradually open back up in June, and I went out more. I did have a legitimate summer break, but pools were closed and my family still wasn’t keen on going to the beach or outdoor dining for a while, so it didn’t feel like a real summer. But I latched onto an opportunity to move out of my parents’ house and live with a friend, so the summer was also spent apartment hunting, which we were able to do given everything.
The new school year started fully remote with live lectures over Zoom, assignments and tests as normal, but being way more lenient than usual. This time, I bought a drawing tablet to plug into my computer so I could write on my PowerPoints and the kids can still see my face. We moved to hybrid learning about a month ago, where about 4 kids per class are in a classroom with me and the rest are still over Zoom. Masks, socially distanced desks, leaving early, the whole thing. The teaching schedule impacts my social life more than anything else, it always does, but since most of my friends are also teachers, they’re hesitant to get together as cases in their towns rise.
And I did move out. Signed a lease in August, moved almost a month ago, around the same time I went hybrid. It’s done crazy things to my anxiety and my mental state, more than any of this pandemic stuff has. I’ve gone home a couple times and I slept over on election night because 2016 was bad and I didn’t know how it was gonna be this year. Trying to figure something out where I go home once a week for dinner. Still adjusting.
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Moving out is so tough! Especially now. And I have been on my own for 13 years, and I never really stopped leaning on my parents some times. Now of course, but also in “normal” times I moved in with them when I was super sick, or stressed, or whatever. I will say as the years went by it became more of a “family meal once a week or so and spend the night twice a year” thing, my apartment began to feel more like “home” than their place. But that was when I got to have friends over and sort of fill the place with memories, it’s really hard right now!!!
I am also super sympathetic with your teaching struggles. You are the only person I know who is dealing with hybrid teaching, most folks seem to be either fully remote or fully in person. I can’t imagine trying to do it both ways at once.
On Mon, Nov 16, 2020 at 4:27 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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See, that makes me feel better. I didn’t realize how much I’ve been leaning on my parents all these years, and being on my own makes me feel like I can’t lean on them at all anymore, but reading your response makes me realize that’s not true, and I’ve also been realizing that slowly. I think there was too much of an abrupt transition, especially due to the pandemic, so a balance will probably be good.
Hybrid teaching is interesting, which is a terrible word choice but I can’t think of another way to explain it. There’s no more than 4 kids in a room with me at a time, but the issue is I think the at home kids are not as aware of the in person kids as the switch. I have to repeat what the in person kids say to the at home kids in case they didn’t hear, which I feel like as a teaching philosophy takes away from the autonomy the kids are supposed to have over their own learning. There’s this separation that I’m trying the best I can to come together but I feel like it doesn’t work great. It only works well in the class where there’s one girl in person who listens and participates, and the rest are at home. On the flip side though, I really don’t think it’s safe to be fully in person right now, so kudos to anyone who is fully in person, I wish you the best.
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I went through the same thing. When I graduated college, I went straight into a studio apartment in the city while my parents were still living in a different town hours away. It was horrible! The right decision because I wanted to stay in the city and it was the only way, but also really hard. And then after about 2 years, my Dad retired and my parents moved just half a mile away from me. It’s really great, if you are lucky enough to still live close to your parents as an adult, you should enjoy it and not feel bad.
On Mon, Nov 16, 2020 at 7:47 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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