Let’s learn about each other! In all the most important ways! That is, the little things that don’t actually matter but we care about deeply.
VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!
If someone gives you a birthday gift before your birthday, is the polite thing to do to open it right then or is the moral thing to do to wait for your birthday before opening?
I believe STRONGLY that it is a deep wrong to open a birthday present before midnight on your actual birthday. Don’t care if someone hands it to you and is standing right there, you put it in your bag and take it home and wait for your actual birthday.
What are your thoughts? Does it depend on circumstances? Is it ever okay to open in advance? Or, alternatively, is it ever okay to not open in front of the giver? And what about Christmas gifts?
Is it better to have protein or carbs at the start of the day?
I am strongly protein. Carbs are nothing, carbs run out on you mid morning. Oatmeal and cereal are a fools game, breakfast should be eggs before all.
Dust or Vacuum first?
I vacuum first because I hate vacuuming so it is the very first thing I do to get it over with. But I also know logically that is wrong because the dust just slides down to the floor after I vacuum. It’s a problem.
Dog/cat in bed with you or not in bed with you?
This may surprise you because I am such a dog person, but I do NOT let my dog in the bed, at all. It’s just wrong in my mind, it breaks down the division between humans and dogs, and it gets my bed all hairy and dirty.
Dark or Light Chocolate?
Blech Light Chocolate! BLECH!!!! Why even eat it? It doesn’t taste like chocolate.
Pink or Red fingernail polish?
A question that affects my REAL LIFE!!!! I need to paint my nails tomorrow and I only have those two colors. Which is better?
Newborn babies, toddlers, or kids? Which is more fun?
Obviously you love all children equally blah blah blah. But if you, say, had your choice of Sunday School classes, which age would you pick? The baby room, the 3 year old room, or the kids room? I am STRONGLY kids. They can talk to you! Less cute, more smelly, more likely to challenge authority. But that’s what makes them FUN!!!
dontcallitbollywood 
Since it’s unlucky to wish someone Happy Birthday before the actual day, there can be no reason to give someone a present before then either. I would accept a package for safekeeping that magically turns into a present at the stroke of midnight, though. And I guess if I’m being honest, I have opened presents early before if they were from someone who just didn’t know better, needed explaining or checking for fit or something.
Christmas presents belong under the tree on Christmas Eve. But that is complicated by Christmas parties with secret Santa, where of course everyone wants to see what everyone got. And I’m also not counting the little something you give colleagues the last time you see them before the holidays, little stuff that isn’t even wrapped but put in a gift bag at most.
I do like my protein, but for breakfast I make do with the milk in my cereal. If I get hungry again, I’ll just have to have “elevensies” later. But if you’re asking about a full Sunday morning family breakfast, then the answer is “both”. We’ll have rolls with a choice of jams AND cheese and cold cuts, plus eggs/bacon/sausages.
I don’t really get a say on the vacuuming, because my wife mostly does that in our family. (Cooking is my job.) But we don’t even dust every week, so when we do, it brings down a lot of dirt. So we definitely have to vacuum afterwards.
I guess a dog *will* eventually find it’s way onto the sofa, unless it’s really purely a work dog. But you have to draw the line at the place where you actually sleep – or you won’t get to sleep anymore. It’s bad enough when your kid takes up all the space in your bed, but there you can at least hope that they’ll outgrow that phase.
I have to say that in my opinion American companies really aren’t best when it comes to chocolate. Over here, you can get some decent milk chocolate, but I’m still all in for “Schwarze Herren Schokolade” (Black Gentlemen Chocolate).
Nail polish I’ve done maybe twice in my life, so resoundingly no opinion on that one.
And I think I’d go with the toddlers. They’re still totally cute, but at least they can move and communicate. With a room full of other people’s babies, I’d basically be reduced to feeding them and changing their diapers.
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THANK YOU! Every year I have a massive fight with my friend because I usually give her her present early (because she is going out of town or something to celebrate on the actual day), and I tell her “don’t open it” and then she gets it and immediately opens it while I scream at her. This often happens in the middle of a work day in the middle of the office, last year it made my boss come out to find out what was wrong because that was the most upset he had ever heard me.
I can’t do just milk in my cereal for breakfast. I like cereal last thing at night, I think because it is such a guaranteed energy suck for me that it acts like a sleeping pill.
I know top-to-bottom is the logical and right away to clean, I just enjoy cleaning the tops so much more than the bottoms, if I was allowed to start with dusting I would never get to vacuuming.
I never had dogs allowed on the sofa my whole life (although they would get up there anyway, they just weren’t supposed to). And then I got little dogs and it’s impossible. They have to come up on the sofa or else you would never be able to give them physical contact and they would whither and die. But beds, yes! It’s my bed, it’s my space, no dogs allowed.
It’s true, American companies have terrible milk chocolate. But even when I splurge and get fancy fancy stuff, it’s just not the same. Dark is always better.
Well great, now I don’t know what to do with my nails!!!! I’m gonna have to just remove the current polish and wait for someone to have an opinion.
The alternative argument I’ve heard, is that with true babies you just get to cuddle them all the time and they never complain. Because they can’t communicate.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 1:43 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Well, not painting your nails at all IS an option.
And cuddling one baby is perfect. But with a roomful of them, it’s really just running around taking care of each one individually. You can’t even read them a story or play a game or anything.
Oh, and I just thought of something else very important regarding presents: Of course they need to be wrapped, right? An you keep them secret until they’re opened? They’re not really presents otherwise. And gift bags are kind of cheating.
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Of course they have to be wrapped! A friend gave me a couple unwrapped Christmas gifts this year, and I took them home and wrapped them and put them under the tree and then re-opened them on Christmas morning.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 9:11 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thank you! I’ll refer my in-laws to this post next year.
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The most important question: Protein or carbs? Obviously proteins! I was always taught that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and one should eat well to have the energy for work and school, and I grew up eating scrumbled eggs, becon and sandwiches for breakfast. Then I came here and tried the italian breakfast: biscuit and coffee, or croissant with cappuccino and not only I was hungry 60 minutes later but I felt bad and without energy. I don’t need proteins for lunch or supper, but I absolutely must have them for breakfast (+the and bread)
Birthday presents: I would not wait for birthday to open it.
Animals in bed: No
Vaccum after dusting
Milk and dark chocolate are both delicious. I love milk chocolate with tiny pieces of hazelnuts, it’s my favourite. But I don’t understand why people eat white chocolate. It’s not even a chocolate because it doesn’t have cocoa! It’s just fat and sugar.
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Yes! Proteins! I would go without any breakfast at all (and I do do that quite a bit) over having carbs. Coffee with cream is a better start to the day than coffee with cream and a roll.
Angie! You open before your birthday? It’s WRONG!!!! I am so glad my present comes to you in blog form so you don’t have a choice.
White chocolate is STUPID!!! If I’m not having chocolate, than I would want something like almond paste or hazelnut, something with integrity, not something just pretending to be chocolate.
And no polish opinion?
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 4:22 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Pink polish, because I prefer pastel colors.
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too late! I just finished panting then red.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 11:43 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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1. Birthday: Day of! Birthdays are _special_.
2. Non-answer: Both protein and carbs! Oatmeal with almond butter. But I guess it depends on your lunch habits as well. Lunch at 12? Eat carbs. No lunch or very light lunch? Protein.
3. Dust first: I hate both, but vacuuming slightly less, so I save it as a ‘treat’.
4. Don’t know about pets, never had one!
5. Dark chocolate all the way: Above 90% and 100% if possible!
6. No answers about nail polish either!
7. Kids! They can SPEAK and I won’t feel like an idiot fetching them mac and cheese when they want juice. Also I remember my 3-year old self had strong ideas about consent and touching, which a kid would better be able to express.
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YES! Day of birthday, and protein for breakfast!!! And dark chocolate!!! And dust before vacuuming. We are quickly building a consensus here.
I agree totally with the kids! They will tell you when you are doing something wrong, how great is that??? Especially when I am trying to teach something, I don’t want to be boring them or telling them something they already know or something they disagree with, and if you get a bunch of 6 to 12 year olds, they will TELL you.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 4:43 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Birthday gifts: My husband makes me wait until by birthday/Christmas to open gifts but I am too impatient and always want to open them as soon as I get them.
Breakfast: This is such a tough question for me. I don’t like most American breakfast foods (i.e., eggs, bacon with the exception of everything bagel with veggie cream cheese). I like Indian breakfast foods and leftovers like pizza, which are all carb based. I also generally skip breakfast unless my dad is living with me and forcing me to eat breakfast that he has made. So, I guess all this is to say, if I have breakfast, it’s usually carb based but in my head I know it should be protein.
Dust/Vacuum: I don’t really dust of vacuum (I have the best husband who does) but if I did, it would be dusting before vacuuming because I hate dusty floors.
Pets: NEVER ever allowed on sofas or beds! When my dog was a puppy, my sister would try to get around this rule by saying he is technically on her lap and not on the cough, but now he is way too big for that. I will say, I am so proud of my dog on this rule because my sister’s dog is allowed on their bed, and even when my dog went to stay with them for a few days, he did not jump on the bed even when her dog did. So so proud.
Chocolate: I am not a big fan of chocolate but if I were to have it, it should have something salty crunchy or nutty in it. No preference between dark or light but definitely NO white chocolate!
Nails: Red! Pink only during the summer.
Kids: This is so tough because babies smell sooooo good! But kids are fun to talk to. I can’t pick.
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You are a TERRIBLE person and your husband is correct!!! Once again, very glad that I give youa virtual blog birthday present so you can’t cheat.
HA! Your Dad and my Dad are the same! When I am at my parents, he makes a big super healthy breakfast and splits it up between all of us. When I am home, I either have eggs or nothing at all.
I am so very very impressed with Theo!!!! Albie Dog is officially allowed on certain furniture and is surprisingly good about not getting on the other furniture (bed, nice armchairs). But I would be hopeless trying to keep him off furniture all together. And for sure if he was hanging out with another dog, he would follow what that dog does instead of the rules I gave him. Also, your story about him technically being on a lap and not the furniture is just making me think of Rachel’s ridiculously large puppy squeezing onto a “lap”.
I got dark chocolate covered pretzel thins from Target, highly recommend them.
THANK GOODNESS!!!! Finally a clear vote. Done, I’ll make them red.
Oh, go with kids! Smells can get tiresome, but talking is never boring. I can’t wait for my nephew to say more than “cuckoo” and “me me me me me”.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 9:29 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Gifts: Birthday I will open on my birthday (whenever I get them, if they are wrapped) – the same with Christmas.
Breakfast: I skip except when we have a late & long family breakfast…then it’s protein & carbs…and I don’t need anything more until evening.
dogs (or cats): sofa yes (on a place extra for them, with a blanket), bed (even bedroom) no, absolutely not!
fingernails: keep the pink one for sunny weather…take the red one in a gloomy time 😉
dusting before vacuuming…no preference…often I do only one of both (or I vacuum the dust with a small vacuum cleaner)…honestly, this kind of cleaning gets rarely the attention it “should” get…by me!
chocolate: aaaahhhh…the Swiss milk chocolate melting deliciously in the mouth is my favourite!
kids: whatever age!
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Yaaaay! Another vote for red! I am all set.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 10:08 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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In order since I’m so orderly.
Gifts: I open soon as I get and want my giftees to do the same. Have fun while you can. You never know what’s coming atcha.
Breakfast: Dont eat it.
Vacuuming: Don’t do it.
Dogs in bed: Always yes. My husband did frequent nite shifts and a dog made me feel less lonely. Besides, they’re family.
Chocolate: I know it’s un-American, but I’m not a chocolate fan. The dark and expensive kind turns me off. When I do eat it, I prefer the cheap stuff, like Wal-Mart Easter bunnies.
Nail polish: Never was able to grow my nails long enuf for polish. If I did, I think I’d prefer pale pink. Red has a Cruella DeVille connotation.
Children: I liked my grandkids a whole lot better when we could converse. The two youngest are almost teens, take care of themselves, and have interesting opinions.
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Another vote for kids! Because they can TALK!!!! Talking is so much better than cuteness.
I like red because of the Cruella DeVille feel. Or more generally, just the sort of sign of power and confidence feel to it. Makes my hands look like they belong to an Evil Queen, not a damsel in distress.
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 12:31 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Presents: you open them on the special day or it’s not special. Delayed gratification is sweeter.
Breakfast: my husband has converted me to eggs as a lunch or dinner food, and I’ve never found another breakfast protein that I feel good about eating every day. Team carbs. Toast most days, oatmeal on Sundays.
Dust before vacuuming is the correct answer. The pet hair alone.
Pets in bed: I’m a restless sleeper, my cats never wanted to sleep in bed with me, plus they’re more nocturnal anyway. I wouldn’t want a dog on my bed. My cat slept with my husband while I was away with the kids over the summer, though, and I had no issue with that (except I had to kick her out when I came back).
Dark chocolate. But if there is none, any chocolate. Must have chocolate.
Nail polish: I’m not a fan, it makes me feel like my nails are suffocating and yes I know this makes me sound like a crazy person.
Children: hm. I guess kids, they can do more fun stuff. But the nice thing about babies is that their needs are so simple. Once they get older, they have emotions and opinions (and the talking is not an unmixed blessing). Toddlers have their joys too – adorable, funny, still innocent – but they are a lot of work, very short attention spans and not long on common sense yet.
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Thank you! Presents are for the day, it’s the only thing that makes sense.
Ugh, carbs for breakfast!!! I guess it’s okay if it’s just a little carbs to get your stomach started?
Yeah, I think I just clean wrong. But at least I do clean, so that’s okay I guess.
My sister claims I am a restless sleeper. In that, when we were kids and had to share a bed she would complain because “Margaret kicks”. Maybe that’s why Albie dog doesn’t like to sleep with me even when I am sleeping on the floor and he is allowed?
Yes, indeed, MUST have chocolate. My parents have started ordering dark chocolate bars in packs of 20 since quarantine. You know, the kind you usually pick up at the check out line? The fancy kind? Anyway, with no check out lines, we are ordering in bulk.
It used to make me feel weird to wear polish, and then over 10 years ago I had a job where my nails just got chewed up (cleaning the popcorn machine at the movie theater) and putting on polish on my day off made me feel so much better. And now I just love the ritual, picking the color, carefully painting them, it’s lovely.
Yeah, what I keep hearing is that babies are hard/easy. “Hard” in that you have no sleep and stuff, but “easy” in that it is just the same 3 needs over and over again (hungry, diaper, comfort). I guess that is the best balance, because it’s not like your brain is working while you have a baby, probably good you can just do repetative stuff. Oh wait! You had a baby AND a complicated Big Kid at the same time!!! How did you handle figuring out the complicated Big Kid needs while being sleep deprived with the baby?
On Fri, Jan 8, 2021 at 11:45 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes, the toast is mostly ballast for the coffee. Coffee is the essential.
My big kid was just 3 when his brother was born. He was a handful, especially that year, which I’ve come to realize is common the year the sibling arrives. The older kid just goes a little nuts for a while, each in their own way. Fortunately he didn’t take any of it out on his brother, he was sweet with him at the tiny baby stage. Honestly I mostly remember being grateful that big kid was out of diapers and could put on his own shoes and be sent to fetch things to save me getting up. There are hard things with two at different ages but you maybe learn to appreciate the different stages more for the good things.
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Birthdays – If a gift was sent in the mail, especially if it’s just a card with cash in it, I wait until my birthday to open it. If someone is giving me a gift face to face, usually I open it in front of them.
Breakfast – It probably is better to have protein in the morning, but with my early hours, frozen waffles are easier to make, so I have to go carbs.
Chocolate – Both. I tend to stick to dark chocolate around my girly times, but I usually go for lighter chocolate. I’m also the only one I know who can tolerate white chocolate, let alone enjoys it.
Nail Polish – Pink!!!
I’d actually have to say toddlers for the last one. Or kids. As I’m typing this out, I’m not sure. Kids you can talk to as people, but I just love watching toddlers exist in the world. They’re so cute.
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You are insane to like white chocolate!!! INSANE!!!
And the red paint I used last has already worn off, so it is time for a new coat and I can go with your pink.
Toddlers are cute, but they can’t talk, so I feel like they would get boring pretty quick. Kids are endlessly entertaining.
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