I have had a very stressful work day, Christmas is on a Saturday which means I get literally no days off work, and I still have to walk the dog and go pick up more presents. The only thing that is getting me through is the promise of watching A Castle For Christmas with my friend as a fun evening treat. In that state of mind, let us come up with the most ludicrous possible Christmas movie plots!
A Holiday Hippopotamus
An eccentric billionaire gives a zoo money to get a hippo and a hippo habitat, but only if it is open by Christmas. Stressed city zoo vet goes to the small rural animal sanctuary where there is a hippo. Will she give in to the charming small town ways and laid back single father zookeeper?
A Kristmas Kayak
A single mother who feels disconnected from her teenage children takes them on a Christmas holidays kayaking adventure, when they are shipwrecked and stranded on a remove island in the wilderness with a lonely fisherman. Surprisingly, it turns into the Best Christmas Ever, as the fisherman and single mom start a romance, as do the fisherman’s tough teenage daughter and the single mom’s emo son.
A Very Merry Madness
A young millionaire trying to avoid a hostile take over of his tech company feigns mental illness planning to spend the holidays in a fancy exclusive rehab facility, but through a mix up in paperwork ends up at a wacky nursing home in small town middle America. He comes to appreciate the sweet Alzheimer’s patients, the severely autistic teenager, and so on. And of course the tough practical administrative secretary and single Mom with whom he falls in love.
Okay, you give me ANY RANDOM COMBINATION OF WORDS, and I will see if I can make it a movie.
dontcallitbollywood 
Nice guy (SRK, of course), stranded, airport terminal, nun, kids.
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You paint such an excellent word picture!!!! Let me add, “divorced single Mom worried about children and facetime in until they meet in person at the end”
On Tue, Dec 21, 2021 at 5:02 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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How about – Butter Chicken, Snow, Gay, British, Hut. Can you turn this into a movie?
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Of course! A grumpy British family orders Butter Chicken on Christmas Eve while they are all on vacation in Canada. The restaurant owner delivers it himself as the last delivery of the ngiht, and then is snowed in with the family. He teaches them all the True Meaning of Christmas, and also falls in love middle-aged shy single uncle. I would cast Shahrukh opposite Colin Firth, with an assortment of British character actors surrounding them.
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I want to see this one! Comic heaven + gorgeousness
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And that cozy British vibe!
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 11:26 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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OMG! This is awesome. I would totally see this movie.
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“A Holiday Hippopotamus” made me laugh a lot 🙂 The plot is better than some of the Christmas movies I have seen this week (Didn’t finish any of them because they were so bad. One of them was a bad Chritmas copy of Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas)
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A CAstle for Christmas was really not all it could have been.
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 8:07 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I couldnt finish Princess Swop or whatever it was, dont know why I even started really
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I love Princess Switch!!!
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 11:29 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m with you Elin. I finished the first film but didn’t like it, and never tried to watch numer 2 and 3. It’s still 10 time better than A Christmas Prince which I loathe with all my heart.
Idea for a post: Worst and Best Christmas movies
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Let’s try this: Tamilian + sun + child
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A Tamilian who is sick of overcast cloudy skies goes on vacation in Belize for an escape to the sun over Christmas. 10 years later he get a letter, the woman he had a one night stand with has died leaving behind her son. He moves to Belize for the next few months, until Christmas, so the boy won’t have to learn a whole new world. He throws himself into the Belizian Christmas traditions, making mistakes but learning, and slowly by Christmas night he and his son have bonded, and he has decided to stay in Belize forever.
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 1:42 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Wait, these aren’t actual movies? I actually thought you were listing those Hallmark type Christmas movies I keep coming across, but have never seen. I don’t think they are ludicrous. I just watched a couple of delightful classic holiday movies whose plots would sound wacky too if written down.
Remember the Night – An honest, no-nonsense attorney prosecuting a shoplifter extends her case so she has to spend Christmas in jail. Feeling guilty, he pays her bail and she mistakenly lands up at his house. He is driving to Indiana to his family, and upon learning she is from the same place, offers to drive her home out of pity and decency. They drive together, she spends the holidays with his family, their love and warmth move her, they both fall for each other, but there is her upcoming trial to worry about.
Holiday Affair – Just before Christmas, department store clerk meets widowed single mother who is a commercial spy. He unmasks her but lets her go, which gets him fired. They end up on a date, which doesn’t sit well with her steady suitor but delights her son. She is torn, but keeps running across him, and finally has to make a decision.
Methinks we can come up with their Indian remakes.
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Oh oh! What about Remember the Night as Vicky and Kat’s first onscreen debut??? She is a damaged seemingly tough shoplifter, he is an idealistic young prosecutor, etc. etc.
And I love A Holiday Affair, you didn’t describe it at all in the way I remember it! What I remember most of all is that it was a successful single Mom who ended up picking the man who was willing/able to take second place in their relationship, to support her. So, I would vote Arjun Kapoor (best Beta hero) and maybe Anushka?
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 3:31 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Good idea! Maybe Kirron Kher and Shabana Azmi as the mother and aunt.
Okay you got me! The one time I copy-paste the IMDb summary because I was feeling lazy! But I don’t know if she is ‘successful’ – she is struggling for money, which is why she needs the spy job and can’t afford to gift her son the expensive train set. Also he clearly says that he wants a woman who will run to him, which is what happens at the end. And Robert Mitchum is the opposite of beta! Are you sure you’re remembering correctly?
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Ooh goody 🙂. Mother-in-law, glacier, goats, customer service, figgy pudding.
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Oooo, this is a fun one!!!! I think it has to be two romances. Mother-in-law is a remote genius scientist studying glaciers. Peppy determined prospective daughter-in-law drags the son all the way there for the “perfect” Christmas. Mother-in-law is frustrated and spends a lot of time complaining to her friend, another grumpy genius scientist who is studying the hardiness of goats.Daughter in law calls customer service constantly for advice on how to make the perfect “figgy pudding”, the one thing she thinks will win over the mother-in-law. By the end of the movie, Mother-in-law and goat man are in love, daughter-in-law and son have broken up as they realized their essential incompatibility, since he is another remote difficult person and doesn’t want the life she wants. Son and Goat Man and Mother all gather for a lovely arctic Christmas. And meanwhile, daughter-in-law surprises Customer Service Man and they have a lovely city Christmas together.
On Wed, Dec 22, 2021 at 3:49 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I have a thing about figgy pudding. I’ve been forcing my family to hear the details about the history of Wassailing, and figgy pudding, and it’s relation to fruit cake. I want some, but I don’t think I’ll actually like it, and it is kinda expensive, so I’m not eating it this year. One year I’ll actually make it, when I can figure out how to buy suet and steam something for 8 hours.
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Oh oh! I just watched all the British BAke Off Holiday Specials, and in one of them they make pudding IN THE MICROWAVE. So it is possible, you should try to find a recipe for that. Takes an hour.
On Fri, Dec 24, 2021 at 12:10 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Sweet! All I have to do is buy a microwave. (I’m not super hippy but ours kept breaking and eventually we just stopped buying them).
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Oh heck, it’s fast, just borrow someone else’s microwave!
On Sat, Dec 25, 2021 at 5:56 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I think it is crazy you don’t get days off for Christmas. This isn’t an American thing, everyone I know except for retail workers get days off. And even in retail the stores are closed on Christmas. Also, most retailers will give some workers days off before and others days off after the holiday. My sister’s consulting company- they give days off. Everyone takes time off, except for YOUR company. Nice boss my foot.
Nice Boss My Foot – make a plot out of that one ! (I want to see Kristmas Kayak by the way).
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To be fair, I do have a day off, I am just choosing not to take it. Because I am bad at boundaries. Anyway, now I feel guilty, I am totally complaining-not complaining by saying things here instead of to my boss. If I actually told him straight up, “I need this time off” or even “we should be closed Friday and Monday”, it probably would have happened.
Also, I am choosing to cover for two people I supervise, one of whome is visiting her parents for the first time since the pandemic started and the other jus thad her hometown destroyed by a tornado (Mayfield). And then another lady who has kids and wants to spend Christmas with them.
On Fri, Dec 24, 2021 at 12:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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