So, there is something huge going on that no one is talking about.  Not because it is shameful or embarressing, but because it is considered to private and requiring of respect.  Naturally, it involves a family issue.

Remember when Emraan Hashmi’s 4 year old son had cancer?  You probably don’t, because it was basically not talked about at all.  Emraan had to shift some filming dates which changed some release dates, and to explain it his uncle, Mahesh Bhatt (head of Bhatt Films) came out and issued a statement.  And then no one talked about it again or asked questions or anything.  It comes up, rarely, in interviews.  But in comparison with something like dating rumors, or the big feuds, or even career stuff, which reporters have no problem flat out asking about, and which every gossip site puts front and center, family illness is just something no one touches.

I only heard about this one because it came up in an article about Kapoor and Sons promotions, that Rishi had to leave early to visit his mother in the hospital.  Karan made a simple comment, the article buried it somewhere in the middle, and if you weren’t reading closely, you wouldn’t even know about it.  Give them their privacy.

Only the illness of non-famous relatives gets this privacy, of course.  If Rishi himself is ever in the hospital, we will all expect minute by minute updates.  But it’s not just curiosity or vicarious enjoyment of it all, it is because we all feel such a strong connection to the stars that we have the right to offer prayers, offerings, whatever may be needed to help in their cure.  And of course to celebrate their returned health, or mourn their death.

But Krishna Kapoor has apparently been in the hospital for weeks, and I’ve been checking several news websites everyday, and this is the first I am hearing of it.  It seems old-fashioned, that the wife of one of the biggest stars in the history of film, mother of another, and grandmother of three more, is granted such complete anonymity.  Today, Gauri Khan, Kiran Rao, and whoever Salman happens to be dating, are all familiar figures.  But, that is because they have chosen to be.  Aamir’s first wife made almost no public appearances and the press respected her privacy.  Emraan Hashmi not only kept his son private, his wife has barely been seen since their wedding, and was kept completely hidden before then, no one even knew he had a steady girlfriend.  Actors from Sunny Doel to Irrfan Khan have successfully kept their personal life completely out of the limelight.

It’s not hard to do, really.  For all the complaints about the photographers outside parties and events, they don’t stake out houses, and they won’t photograph people outside of the industry.  If you want to keep your family isolated from it all, leave them at home, let them have a normal life.  Of course, the challenge becomes, if you want them to share your life, then their’s can’t be quite so normal.  Gauri Khan was one of the first star wives to start going with her husband to the industry parties and events, to even appear in ad campaigns with him.  And Gauri and Shahrukh are still together, while Aamir and his first wife have split.  Just something to think about.

The main point is, the press and the public only care about relatives of stars if we have been, as it were, “introduced” to them.  “Care” isn’t quite the right word, more have a bond with them, feel related to them ourselves.  If they go around with their spouse or child or sibling to all the events, we start to get to know them, and we feel we have a stake in their life.  But otherwise, we are only related to them in that we care how what happens to them will affect their star relatives.

If Krishna Kapoor does ever die, I am sure we will all know about it.  Because at that point we, the people of the world, would want to offer condolences and whatever else might be helpful to her many many famous relatives.  But until then, she gets to the keep the privacy that is considered her right as merely a relative.  Privacy that is so secure, even her age is impossible to determine based on public sources.