Happy Dussehra! From Swades to Aks!

HAPPY DUSSEHRA!!!!!  And happy day that I have to magically become 4 more people at work!  Through an odd combination if immovable conflicts, all my co-workers are gone today and so I must become all and everyone simultaneously.  Oh dear.  At least I can schedule a Dussehra post before the day really starts! (this is an updated and reposted post from last year)

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Shahrukh Birthday Month: JHMS, Happy New Year, Raees, Om Shanti Om, JTHJ Rewritten So He Can Play His Own Age

Well, not “all”.  there are a large number where he actually is playing his own age, or close to it.  But for those few where he is clearly far far distant from the character age, here are my suggestions for how to fix it.  It’s not hard, I don’t know why they didn’t just right it this way to begin with!

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Reminder to Promote Me! Be Honest With Yourself and The World, Link Me When You Use My Thoughts and Tweet Me When You Like My Articles, Don’t if You Don’t

Yes yes, more guilt!  As I said in yesterday’s post, the cute Dog Hazel photos were nice, but not actually effective.  People just skated right by them and didn’t do anything.  So I am back to the detailed guilt inducing ones.

The other websites that provide equivalent content to mine (professional trained analysis, news and reviews and box office, 4 major language industries) have massive corporate sponsors and a dedicated marketing staff.  They pay for tweets, they pay for ads, they pay for google searches.  And in return they get benefits for promoting certain movies (whether that is actual money, or just access).  I have none of that.  I am poor and honest.

All I have is decent content and hope.  So please, help me!  If you are on twitter, DON’T simply retweet me, far more effective to tweet a link to one of my articles with a personal comment from you about why you like it.  It takes more time, but people know it takes more time, and know that you must really mean it.

If you are active on any other sites or in any other communities, when you comment, SITE ME.  If you say “I think the overseas fans are looking for something different than the Indian fans” add on “as Margaret explains in her blog dontcallitbollywood.com”.  If you say “I think Chekka Chivantha Vaanam is a movie without any real heroes” add on “as said in this review link here”.  If you say “I think Kangana has erotomania” add on “as this article here argues”.

And most of all, don’t lie!!!!!  Everyone can tell if you lie, and it ruins the one thing I have going for me, which is that I am clearly transparently honest and unbiased.  If you don’t like something I wrote, if you just skimmed it and don’t like it, then don’t lie to The Internet and say you liked it and understood it.  The Internet can tell you aren’t telling the truth.  And I guess, don’t lie to yourself either, if you find yourself saying something, take a moment and think about whether you learned that through intense research and consideration and original thought, or if you are just parroting something you read here.  And if so, either don’t say it at all, or say it with a link back to me.

Donation Reminder/Request! Remember, Gratuity Means Gratitude!

It’s that time again, the time I remind everyone that it is a good thing to tip people who provide a service, even if that service is writing on the internet.

You give a dollar to the barista who makes you coffee every day, you can give a dollar once a month for the person who entertains and informs you every day.

Now, if reading that above statement made you feel guilty, there is a simple solution.  Just give me a dollar through one of the options below, and then you can stop feeling guilty.

 

The last two months, I did cute dog photos and a simple request for money.  Which I liked writing a lot more than long pleas for money, and which I am sure you enjoyed reading.  But, they do not in fact result in any money.  I got a few donations the first month, but that was in response to my car woes, not the donation post.  Last month, with the adorable photo of Dog Hazel in a blanket, I got ZIP!  ZERO!  No donations, no new patrons, nothing.  Those posts are much more pleasant to read which also, apparently, makes them easy to ignore.

So now I am back to the boring sturm and drang posts.  This is a reminder that I am a real person who is donating hours of labor and lots of money in order to entertain you.

If you appreciate what I do, then leave a tip. If you don’t tip, I will assume you don’t appreciate it and stop writing.  That’s how the world works, money goes in and product comes out.

Now, if reading the above made you feel scared, there is an easy solution. Just give me a dollar through one of the options below, and then you can stop feeling scared.

Donate

To help support my work, donate to the site, $1 or $2 or $20 or $200, however much you want.

$1.00

 

If you want to set up a recurring payment, then you can do that through Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/dontcallitbollywood

 

Or, of course, you can always Buy My Book!  Which gets me no real money, but makes me feel appreciated:

Sunday ReRun Review: A Gentleman! Now that Stree Has Everyone Appreciating Raj & DK

Okay, let me throw some titles out there for you: Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  Desperado. Johnny Gaddar.  Burn After Reading.  Dishoom.  Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.  Bang Bang. Get Shorty.  Jhankar Beats.  Now, are you smiling?  Are you happy?  Are you remembering good times?  Or are you rolling your eyes because these are all stupid worthless fluff films?  If you are one of the first people, this is the film for you (and also, we should be friends).  If you are one of the second people, this is not the film for you (and we can still be friends, but maybe should only watch classic movies together not new stuff) (spoilers review here)

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Kayankulam Kochunni Review (SPOILERS): If the Laws Are Unjust, You Need Not Respect Them

Such a great movie!  I was smiling and laughing in delight the entire time.  If you will have a chance to watch it, you can read the No Spoilers review, if you already know the whole story, or won’t be able to see the film, you can read this one.  It’s fun to watch not knowing what will happen next, but it’s also fun to watch knowing everything, it’s just that good.

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