Okay, I was thinking this would be a nice easy starting point for my new Hindi Film 101 series, and it is taking FOREVER. But I’m glad I’m doing it this way, because each of these branches and generations really needs their own focus area. And (hopefully) it will make it easier for you to refer back to them (part 1 with Prithviraj, Shammi, and Shashi here, part 2 with Raj and Nargis here)
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: These are not “facts”, or “true”, or maybe they are, I have no way of knowing! I don’t know the Kapoor family personally or anything like that. But if you are just beginning to get into the films, I want to give you a sense of the background that most people have for the Kapoors, what is behind all the allusions in film articles and odd comments in interviews.
At the end of my last post, I had brought Raj Kapoor through his romantic travails, his artistic success, and finally his spectacular death. But after Raj, what? It was supposed to be Randhir, he was his father’s oldest son, he had been groomed to take over. At age 24, he was given the script for Kal Aaj Aur Kal and told that he would star in it (his first film role) and also direct (his first directing job) and his father and grandfather would both be starring with him. The general consensus of the time is that he put in a good decent job both as director and actor. But it wasn’t “brilliant!”, not in the way his father had been at his age.
(Look how nervous he looks, even just on the poster!)
Randhir did at least have one thing in common with his father, he fell in love with his co-star. And married her! Babita, a rising young actress, was opposite him in Kal Aaj Aur Kal. They were both just 23-24, but while Randhir was in his very first movie with the whole weight of his family behind him, Babita had been acting since she was 18 and had proven her success on her own merit.
(Super cute together though, right?)
Okay, now is the time to remember that both of Raj’s daughters married outside the film industry. There is an accepted truism that “Kapoor women don’t act”. That means wives, but also and especially daughters. This is a truism that really isn’t that true, both Geeta Bali and Jennifer Kendal continued acting post-marriage. Although their careers slowed down and they focused on their family, it wasn’t like they stopped dead.
But on the other hand, both Raj and Prithviraj married woman of good proper upper class families, women whose main focus was on the home. I suppose it would be natural that they would want that kind of wife for their sons, and that kind of life for their daughters. And so Ritu and Rima were married off to nice businessman who let them live lives in relative anonymity. Ritu, by the way, went on to be a very successful businesswoman in her own right post marriage. So it’s not like they weren’t “allowed” to work at all, but just stay out of film. Which kind of makes you wonder what the Kapoor men knew about what happened to actresses which lead them to forbid their daughters from acting?
And then Randhir fell in love with and married Babita. Babita is ethnically Sindhi, not Punjabi like the Kapoors. And she comes from an acting background, her father was a character actor. But the marriage went through without any public controversy and with great rejoicing. And then Babita stopped working immediately and focused on her family. She still had a few movies that came out post-marriage, but they had all been completed before marriage.
Randhir started working to support the family. And he did all right, getting a few roles outside of the family, and then being brought back to direct another movie for the family studio the year after his first child (Karisma) was born. It did all right, but he wasn’t exactly setting the world on fire.
(Look how sad he looks in the poster, even with that sexy lady on his chin)
More troubling, his problems with alcohol were increasingly apparent. This is another part of the Kapoor family, they all drink to excess (except Shashi, as always he is special). I don’t want to say that all the Kapoors are alcoholics, more that they have a family culture which is very nurturing to alcoholism. No one would necessarily notice that you had a problem, or be willing to acknowledge it, the same way they might if alcohol was a rare occurrence at family functions and other events.
It’s not really spoken of in the media, but the story is there in his filmography. He goes from 1-4 films a year from 1971-1983, and then there is nothing for 4 years. Feel free to diagnosis however you want-genetic predisposition or reaction to the enormous pressure of living up to his father and guilt when he couldn’t-but the end result is that he just couldn’t cut it as a director or a film star or head of the RK studios, and eventually he couldn’t even cut it as a husband and father.
(Not the happiest family. Or else just an awkward moment caught on film. But it feels like more)
And then there’s Babita, who gave up her promising career for him and is now watching him drink himself away. Again, we don’t know the details, but in 1988 she left him and took her daughters out of the Kapoor family. It’s often said that she wanted her daughters to act and knew they wouldn’t be allowed if they stayed “Kapoors”. But then, it’s also said that she left the marriage for other reasons (alcohol?) and only forced her daughters to act because they needed to help support the household after the separation. Who knows where the truth lies!
But what is true is that Karisma started acting at age 16, shortly after the separation. She had 22 movies come out in her first 4 years as an actress. And a lot of them were baaaaaaaaaaad movies. This wasn’t the careful Kapoor launch enjoyed by her father, or by her uncles Shammi and Shashi. This was desperate catch-as-catch can acting to put food on the family table.
(Yes, she has a naturally baby face, but even so, this girl is not old enough to be in films and not old enough to be wearing these costumes!)
If Raj Kapoor saw his life as a series of romantic films, his granddaughter Karisma’s life was in reality a series of tragedy films. First there was her father’s drinking and her parents’ separation, which lead to her being thrown into the film world with no training or preparation of any kind and being forced to work herself to a shred to support the family. And then, at age 18, her tragic love life started.
First there was Ajay (yes, Kajol’s Ajay). They met when she was 18 and he was 23 while co-starring in a film. Supposedly they dated for 3 years, before he left her for Kajol. While this was heartbreaking on the personal side, her professional life was finally falling into place. After years of playing the bubbly girlfriend in action movies and comedies (personally, I think her work in Andaz Apna Apna is right up there with Salman’s and Aamir’s), she finally got recognition for a quality dramatic role in Raja Hindustani. Not so coincidentally, she also got a make-over for that role from her usual bouncy sexy bubbly self, to something a little more traditional and serious looking.
From 1996 to 2002 were Karisma’s golden years, personally and professionally. After Raja Hindustani, she finally had some respect in the industry. She was still working way too much, and a few of her films were kind of losers, but she had Dil To Pagal Hai and Biwi No. 1 and Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge, big mainstream hits with really big interesting parts for her. And towards the end of this period, she even started finding success in some very well-received more art films, Fiza and Zubeidaa. If her life is a tragic woman’s picture, than think of it as the part of the movie where the troubled heroine hides her broken heart and pours her passion into her art.
(She was also just luminous in Zubeidaa)
And then even the broken heart got fixed! In the best way possible, Karisma started dating the catch of the century, Abhishek Bachchan. Abhishek was only 24 when they got together, 2 years younger than her, and hadn’t even been launched yet. But he had the most promising future of any young actor, thanks to the love the Indian audience had for both his parents. And the Bachchan family was beyond reproach socially, upright and upperclass and clean living and close friends with the Gandhi family (the Nehru-Gandhi family, not the Mahatma Gandhi family. A very confusing thing to understand in Indian history!). For poor child of a broken home, forced to go out and work as a teenager Karisma, this was quite the step up.
(Look how happy she is!)
Until it all fell apart again. Like the Raj and Nargis break-up, there are various versions of what happened. But what everyone can agree on is that Jaya Bachchan is the one who ended it. Abhishek and Karisma were officially engaged, it was announced, wedding invites were being delivered. And then suddenly it was over and everyone somehow knows that Jaya is the one who ended it.
There are two theories I know of for what happened. Theory one was that Karisma just wasn’t the kind of daughter-in-law the Bachchan’s wanted. From a broken home, older, had been in a lot of movies and not the most respectable ones. And had an actress for a mother.
Theory two is that it went back to Shweta’s marriage. Babita, Karisma’s mother, was still on the outs with Randhir and didn’t want him invited to the wedding. If he didn’t come, all the Kapoors wouldn’t come. And that would cause big big issues in Shweta’s marriage, to a Kapoor.
However it happened, the end result was humiliation for Karisma. And she rebounded by marrying yet another respectable businessman, just like her aunts had, Sanjay Kapur (yes, it is the same last name, although it is spelled differently). Only he turned out to be not that respectable.
(Look how not-quite-so-happy she looks)
Sanjay was from an old Delhi business family. Before his marriage, he was most famous as a polo player. But there were already rumors of drugs and women. And the rumors just got worse post-marriage. Before their first child was born in 2005, Karisma went back to her mother’s home (as is normal in the last few months of pregnancy), but then the baby was born and she still didn’t leave. It looked like an attempt at an under the radar separation. Until she was invited to go to an India Day parade in America, and her husband filed a hold on taking their daughter out of the country, meaning she either had to reunite with him or leave her baby behind with him. Or skip out on her professional commitment. And she ended up going back to Delhi to live with him.
I only know that story because the India Day parade she was coming to was in my city so I was paying close attention. But over the years there were plenty of other stories like it, Karisma kept trying to leave and something or other always came up to pull her back. Her divorce FINALLY came through in 2016. But long before that, she had moved back to Bombay and the welcoming arms of her mother, sister, and father!
(Still a cute couple!)
Yes, Randhir and Babita reunited sometime around 2007. And shortly afterwards, Randhir returned to acting. In character father parts now, but it’s honest work. He also became more and more the “face” of the Kapoor family. Shammi and Shashi were increasingly elderly, and as the eldest son of the eldest son, Randhir was getting a second chance to take the lead, at least publicly. And if you follow the “alcoholism ruined his life” theory, I would also guess that he got clean at some point in the intervening years, which made Babita willing to go back to him and producers willing to work with him and the whole rest of the family a little more respectful.
Although, and this is just my personal theory, Kareena is the real heir the Kapoor family should be nourishing. Karisma has the talent and Kareena has the business head. And both girls were overlooked simply because they are girls. Even Karisma, who basically was born with a sign from God that she is the next Kapoor superstar, the only child to inherit her grandfather’s magical “light-colored” eyes, got no support or recognition. She was thrown into the business and made to sink or swim on her own. And, as soon as she had proven her talent and was perched on Superstardom, she was married off. Like I said, her life is a tragedy!
(The famous Kapoor blue eyes. Rarely seen, never forgotten)
But Kareena never let anyone turn her life into a tragedy. At first because she had her sister there to protect her. While Karisma was working long days in film after film, she made sure her little sister went to the most exclusive schools, got the best clothes and the best food, really just the best of everything. And while Karisma was thrown into film to survive at age 16, Kareena enjoyed a lavish launch at 20 after having complete her schooling, and received an intensive 3 month acting course.
(Look at the difference between how these two girls are dressed, and that tells you everything about their different childhoods)
Not only that, she got kind of a dream launch. Opposite Abhishek Bachchan, who was dating her sister at that point and was also in his first film, and with a big name director JP Dutta. But not too big, not too much pressure on them. And there was a nice big supporting cast of everyone from Anupum Kher to Suniel Shetty to Jackie Shroff to help carry the acting load. And it worked, the film was a nice solid success at the box office, not so big that it created unrealistic expectations, but also not so small as to be a disappointment.
The schooling, the training, the ability to have a launch, all of that was thanks to Karisma. But the choice of the launch movie, that was on Kareena. At age 19, she was offered Refugee opposite Abhishek Bachchan or Kaho Na Pyar Hai opposite Hrithik. She actually signed for Kaho Na Pyar Hai, but backed out because she thought too much attention would end up being given to the director’s son, and her role would suffer.
This seemed like a terrible decision. For one thing, if you are worried about being over-whelmed by your co-star, wouldn’t Amitabh Bachchan’s son be worse than some random Hrithik guy that no one had heard of? And then when Kaho Na Pyar Hai hit it big and Refugee just did medium business (not to mention the sizzling chemistry she later proved to have with Hrithik in their many other films together and which she could have had in her first film), again it looked like she had bet on the wrong horse.
But long term, she was absolutely right. Refugee was a great no pressure launch for her. Amisha Patel really did get over-looked in Kaho Na Pyar Hai and it never really gave her career the bounce that it could have. And putting her opposite Abhishek gave them both some nice publicity to help with the launch, based on his then-relationship with her family.
In the long-term, all of Kareena’s decisions have been correct. She has steered her career craft through rapids all alone and done it brilliantly. I’m not talking about avoiding flops, everyone will have those, but she never made the kind of damaging miss-steps we’ve seen from others in her family. No big string of films just for the money like her sister, no series of traumatizing flops and personal scandals like her cousin Ranbir, just smoooooooooth sailing. I would love to see what an RK studios run by Kareena and headlined by Karisma would have looked like. Oh well.
Part of Kareena’s long-term brilliance is in how she handled her personal life. While her sister was still following the “open secret” policy of dating, where everyone knew about it but you never admitted it, Kareena forged new ground. She openly talked about her relationship with Shahid Kapoor, they went on talk shows together and provided PDA to the media. Think like Ranveer Singh and Deepika are now.
And the public loved it! To have this bright young couple displaying their love for all to see, it was new and fresh and exciting. And it also helped a bit with the recurring rumors that she was having an affair with her married co-star in multiple films, Hrithik Roshan. That’s why they stopped co-starring for a while, and stopped even being seated next to each other at events, to nip those rumors in the bud. A young woman dating an age-appropriate fellow actor, that’s refreshing and adorable. A young woman dating her married co-star (who’s wife is an innocent young woman who has never acted), that is a whoooooole different kettle of fish.
Kareena was equally open about her break-up with Shahid. There was no awkward period where they pretended to still be friendly, no dancing around the issue with the media, we all pretty much knew immediately when they broke up. And we also knew immediately when she started dating Saif Ali Khan. Which kind of made that new relationship less shocking. Yes, he was Muslim, divorced with 2 kids, and ten years older than her. But if they didn’t act like there was anything to be ashamed of, then we wouldn’t believe there was anything to be ashamed of. And it worked! 5 years later they were married with all the pomp and circumstance India could provide.
And that’s it for the Randhir Kapoor branch! At least until Karisma’s kids are launched, which should be happening any day now. And also for Raj and Nargis, and the Nanda and Jain branches, again until the next generation is launched. Navya Naveli in particular has grown up surrounded by flashbulbs, wouldn’t be surprised to learn her first movie is coming out any day now.
(Here she is with her mother and Karan Johar. Notice how Navya and Karan are playing to the camera while Shweta is hiding from it a little. She never liked the attention)
dontcallitbollywood 
Another fascinating chapter in the story of the Kapoors. I liked Karisma in Dil to Pagal Hai and Raja Hindustani. After reading this, I think I love her. What a wonderful woman! I had no idea that her story was so sad but I noticed a certain melancholy in her eyes, even in those films during her peak. She looked so happy with Abhishek. What a shame it didn’t work out. I bet they were a great couple. He seems like such a decent, goodhearted guy (please don’t tell me otherwise)! I also had no idea that she did so much to facilitate Kareena’s success. Her career is really a testament to the love and support of her older sister.
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If you read between the lines of interviews, Kareena has repaid Karisma by continuing to put her and her kids ahead of everything else in her life. She’ll mention how the favorite part of her life is spending time with her niece and nephew, taking them on vacations, buying them presents, etc, etc. And she is constantly photographed with them. Way way more than she is with her own step-children. Seeing as their father is in Delhi (and is a big jerk), it kind of feels like Kareena has taken charge of helping to raise them so Karisma isn’t alone. And, while the divorce was pending, I am sure Kareena was helping out financially in all sorts of ways too.
Oh, and she also didn’t work with or (possibly) speak to Abhishek Bachchan for over a decade. You do NOT want to cross Kareena Kapoor. She knows how to hold a grudge.
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The Kapoors did not want Karisma to act in films and washed their hands off her.Babita has the reputation for being a difficult star mom(in fact exactly like the star mom in Rangeela) and it was abominable the way Karisma was thrown to sink or swim on her own.There were always rumors of her getting pawed by all and sundry and forced to suffer a lot of humiliation for the sake of her career.Navya Naveli Nanda at sixteen is more worldly wise and manipulative than Karisma was at that age.I still remember the tag llne in a magazine at that time below Kareena’s photo in a sexy pose “Do unto yourself what grandfather had done unto others.” I had to apply to my mom for the clarification and back story.Kareena had openly stated that Karisma is too nice for her own good and that if she(Kareena) had been in Karisma’s place at that time she wouldn’t have let people take advantage of her.
As for Ajay-Karisma affair, I don’t know who dumped whom.Raveena’s name also comes up although I don’t know in what capacity.The rumor went that Karisma talked down to Ajay at times and considered him as an inferior since she’s one of ‘The Kapoors’ and Ajay’s father was a lowly stunt master.Who knows what the truth is?
As for her wedding with Abishek, it was an arranged marriage.About that time the Bachchans ran into some financial trouble.AB the senior had to come back, inspite of numerous health issues, to bail out the company.The rumor was that the Kapoors delicately probed about their financial situation.The Bachchans learned about it and took umbrage.Regarding Hrithik’s relation with the Kapoors and Bacchans- the latest rumor going around is that he’s having an affair with Shweta who’s currently separated *not divorced* from her husband.Bollywood really is a small world.
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I love that Shweta rumor! Because it is so incredibly juicy. I first ran across it back when Hrithik counter-sued Kangana, the thing I saw said that it was Amitabh’s influence making him do it, Amitabh wanted him to clear his name if he was going to continue seeing Shweta.
But I am also very glad that you were the one to say it, not me, because I have this irrational fear that Amitabh is going to send thunder down and destroy my life if I spread rumors about his daughter 🙂
With Karisma, one thing that stuck in my mind from the Madhu Jain book is a story of her calling her mother from set in tears because she didn’t think she could do a particular dance number, and she didn’t want to do it. And her mother’s response was just to say “stop crying” and hang up. Which matches what you describe here! Although, both daughters are still so close to their mother. I wonder if it is just general parental guilt that keeps them with her, or if there is some reason they have come to understand why she did what she did?
Also, I just saw Dangal for the 3rd time, and now I am having this odd morphing of Babita training her daughters to act no matter their objections and Aamir training his daughters to wrestle.
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Poor Karisma!I would love to see a movie based on Babita and her daughters.Unfortunately the Kapoors won’t allow it to be made.In spite of Babita’s bad mentoring both her daughters turned out to be super successful.In that respect Babita did one better than Tanuja and Hema.
IMO Amitabh didn’t have anything to do with Hrithik suing Kangana.The Bachchans don’t seem to believe in divorce.So it does not seem very likely that Shweta will divorce her husband and live with Hrithik.If she does marry Hrithik, it will be poor Navya Naveli Nanda’s misfortune.Imagine having to put Hrithik Roshan in your No-lust list.
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I’d feel more sorry for Navya’s brother! Imagine trying to date if your stepfather is Hrithik Roshan? Every girl will forget you as soon as she is introduced to your “parents”.
I used to have a similar worry about Aryan, but he’s really turned out rather well, so it may not be such a problem.
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I’ve never liked Karisma in the few movies I’ve seen her in but her story is quite interesting. Also there are rumors that she is going to make a cameo with Salman in Judwaa 2 so that will be exciting if it happens 🙂
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I would love to see her with Salman again, I always really liked their Jodi (as I think I mentioned in one of my Salman Birthday posts)
On Wed, Jan 4, 2017 at 4:36 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Are you going to make “Hindi Film 101” a category for the blog menu? If you do more, I’d like to be able to jump back to the entries when I forget something.
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I’m thinking about it, but I want to wait until there are a few more posts in that category. And until I have a better idea if I will be keeping it longterm
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Thank you again for a very enjoyable and informative post. I knew pieces of this but there were big gaps in my knowledge. I knew the Kapoor sisters were close; now I have a greater understanding of why they are so very close. And my heart breaks a little to think of what Karisma had to endure. On the other hand, it seems she was a great part of how Kareena came to be such a force. So much so that the Indian press was making such a fuss over the fact that Kareena was so “public” with her pregnancy, doing magazine shoots, attending awards shows, going out with Saif and with friends, even walking the runway in August for Sabyasachi (and looking stunning I might add!). She is most certainly not the shy, retiring type, and may be a role model challenging the Indian stereotype of pregnant women staying more behind the scenes.
And as for Shweta–I couldn’t get a handle on why she was showing up everywhere with her parents, seemingly living in Mumbai and definitely NOT with her husband. I guessed there was trouble in paradise but I somehow missed the Hrithik connection. Maybe it helps explain why Navya is so provocative on her Instagram! A little acting out perhaps? (Also makes me think of Amitabh’s recent trip to Delhi where he went to his son’s factory with the grandkids–big of him if Shweta’s hubby is on the outs.)
All speculation and gossip rumors aside, keep these posts coming. They’re great!
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Glad you like them! And I find the Kapoor sisters fascinating for how relatable their relationship is. The older sibling breaking the path and suffering, which gives the younger sister confidence to go even farther, that’s like half the families I know! Without all the filmi glitz and glamour and tragedy, but with like “I got into a big fight with Mom and Dad about going away with my boyfriend for the weekend, so you could have an easy time telling them you are moving in with your boyfriend” kind of stuff.
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Pingback: Hindi 101: The Kapoors, Part V, Ranbir Arrives, Plus the Last Kapoor Brother – dontcallitbollywood
Karishma had no exietement give should fast stood never be had great look I feel looking her I wanna say something to her youo old and in ever movie you looking poor but should dear cinfidence can prove yoi shoyld have love not all had beihave.
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Great write ups, however I noticed one error. The Kapoors are not Pathan, they are pure Punjabi. Kapoor is a Punjabi surname too.
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Thank you! I’ll update right away.
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Here’s the latest about Randhir Kapoor who is about to turn 70 years old soon 🙂
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/bollywood/news/randhir-kapoor-i-keep-asking-my-wealthy-daughters-to-adopt-me/articleshow/56828996.cms
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Thanks for that! It sounds like he’s in a good place, which is nice.
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In one of AB Jr’s interviews with Simi, when asked about this, he said “Don’t cry that it’s over, smile that it happened”. Made me go all moist eyed at that point. But honestly, Jaya has/had insane expectations from her daughter in law. Looks like she doesn’t approve of Aishwarya too these days, she was over the moon during the wedding. Jaya probably expected her to semi retire just like she had.
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Yeah, being the Bachchan Bahu has never seemed that appealing to me. Seems like a lot of expectations coming from all sides.
On Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 5:43 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I loved reading this!!! I had read somewhere that the Karisma-Abhishek engagement ended because disagreements between their mothers mainly. Like Jaya expected Karisma to retire or at least stop acting so much and Babita was against that and pretty much demanded that her daughter should be allowed to work. Don’t really know, but I guess I could understand them not agreeing there.
Still, poor Karisma, in her pics with Abhishek her smile is just so genuine…And I loved to read about the relationship between the sisters. It’s good to know that all she went through and sacrificed to help her sister was/is appreciated.
Since I’ve only just discovered my interest in the Hindi cinema world, there are things still new and almost unbelievable for me, like the family structure/relationships and how that works. For example the idea of not believing in divorce form the Bachchans. Is this why AB and JB are still together after all the scandals or is there still some love/like/attraction or whatever? And why is it better to have your daughter home, even knowing she’s seeing some else than accepting her marriage is over and officialy separating?
And another thing was, when you wrote that Babita took her daughters and left Randhir and the family and Karisma was sent to work..why??? Didn’t the girls get support from the family? Their dad?
Or do these families have like a global account managed by the head of the family and he decides what everyone gets?? How does that work?
Thank you again for these posts, they are so informative!!!
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Thank you for commenting on these posts! I wrote them so long ago, but I still have so much to say!
There are lots of rumors about why the Karisma-Abhishek relationship died. Definitely something between the mothers. I don’t suppose we will ever know. I doubt even the people involved know. That kind of thing, there is going to be Babita’s version and Jaya’s version, and no one knows the whole story.
I honestly don’t think AB and JB want to get divorced. It may not be the best marriage in the world, but I think overall they would both rather be in it than out of it. For the sake of the kids, for the sake of the shared life they have built over decades, and so on and so forth. Shweta is different, it is clear that she and her husband are basically not married any more. Have not lived together for years. In another family, I think they would be divorced. But in another family, there would also be more reason to divorce. Like, I don’t think there is any issue about finances or anything that they have to worry about, both sides are so wealthy that Shweta can afford to leave him without needing to insist on alimony. And he can afford to pay the expenses for the kids and whatever else Shweta needs without caring enough to involve lawyers and pinch pennies. In their social circle, they could also have a long term unofficial companion and no one would raise an eyebrow, so you don’t have to get divorced before you start a new relationship in your private life. All divorce would do is involve a bunch of lawyers and publicity in a break up they are handling perfectly well in private.
It’s also that divorce can get really messy in India. Just the process of it, it can take a year or more, and in order to get favorable judgments, it is common for lawyers to make accusations against the other party. If Shweta got divorced, the media would be following every second of it and every single court filing would be blown up into crazed conspiracy theories. It doesn’t have to be like that, Aamir Khan and Saif Ali Khan both had clean divorces with no scandal and mutually respect between both parties, but right now Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s wife has just filed for divorce and is already spreading rumors of some kind of marital misconduct in a bid to get full custody of the kids. If you ever watch the movie Thappad, it does a good job of showing how quickly a divorce case can escalate, just in an attempt by lawyers to fight their side of things through twisting the truth.
The Kapoor Family is powerful, but not always rich. It’s a funny thing. Raj Kapoor built up his studio but poured most of his money into the studio and his films, not leaving a lot behind when he died. The family had a steady family income from renting out the studio lot for filmings, and a large family house that Raj built where various family members could retreat when they ran out of money. Separate from that are the private incomes, Rishi worked hard and steadily his whole life so the Rishi Kapoor branch of the family is fairly comfortable and always has been. But Rishi’s brothers both survived on the little bit of money that was their cut of the studio rents after they stopped working. When Babita left, I imagine if Randhir declared he didn’t want to share his studio money with them, or even if he did share it but kept some for himself, that wouldn’t have been much to live on. If Randhir had pushed, or if the family had chosen to get involved, Rishi could have shared some of his private funds with them. But, they didn’t. That was also Kapoor Family policy, once you got married you were kind of on your own, so no one was going to get involved with Randhir’s family. And there’s also what is “enough” money. Kareena got to go to the best schools, wear designer clothes, have a childhood that made her the equal of the Best People in India. That costs a lot of money, and that came from Karisma working.
On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 5:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Well, you are right…there’s always another side of each story and I don’t think we are ever learning what the reasons were in this case.
I guess, if they have managed to stay together through their biggest controversies and problems, they are either happy enough or comfortable enough to stay married now.
This for example “In their social circle, they could also have a long term unofficial companion and no one would raise an eyebrow, so you don’t have to get divorced before you start a new relationship in your private life.” is what I have a problem understanding I guess. I also assume that this situation is more or less exclusive to the social circle they belong to, it seems that the rest of the country wouldn’t accept something like this so easily. Are there othere ppl who have actually managed to do that recently? Because I don’t know, maybe this was done in the past when the media wasn’t always there or when it was accepted that men had affairs and wifes were ok with that, but how much has that changed?
And thanks for explaining a little more about the money dynamics. I don’t know why, but Rishi is maybe the first Hindi actor who captured my attention…I think I saw a movie years ago where he played Kajol’s dad and I also saw him in Hum Tum and when I read about him being part of the Kapoor family assumed him and most of them had like the same amount of wealth, because of their family history. I assumed that pretty much they were all given a lot from the previous generation i guess.
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Definitely the film world social circle has whole different standards than the rest of the country. There are a lot of couples that are treated as couples within the social circle, but would not be accepted by Indian society as a whole. Two examples sprint to mind, one is Rekha and her partner Farzana. I think you read those posts? They have been together for decades, go every where together, have a house together, and so on. Within film society, they are treated as a couple and everyone knows and accepts it. But so far as the general public is concerned Rekha is single. And then there’s Rani Mukherjee and Aditya Chopra. They are married now, but they were together for almost a decade before marriage, part of the time before Aditya’s divorce from his first wife had come through. Rani would do things like accompany his parents to events, was called “Madam” when she visited him at the office, within the industry and the social circles they were understood to be a couple. But the public story was that they didn’t even start dating until after Aditya’s divorce was final. Because the film industry could handle the idea of a man and woman dating before his divorce was final, but the public couldn’t.
It feels strange to me too a little bit, why is it more embarrassing to just get the divorce than to live as though you are divorced and everyone knows it? But I guess that’s the rule. And it really hasn’t seem to have changed much since the past. You only have to try a little bit to keep it hidden, folks like me and others here who follow stories obsessively will see clues, but the general public won’t. One extramarital relationship going on now that has stood the test of time is Dimple Kapadia and Sunny Deol. She married as a teenager to a famous actor, and then quietly left him ten years later. Sunny married kind of young and had a wife and two kids. then he met Dimple and rumors started to fly of some kind of relationship. the rumors died down quickly (they must have started being more careful), but little things have popped up over and over again for over 30 years now! Like, I read an interview with one of Sunny’s co-stars casually mentioning that he wasn’t on set because it was “Dimple Ma’am’s birthday” so of course he was off with her. Or a photo popped up a couple years ago of the two of them sitting together holding hands at a bus stop in London, clearly on a little mini-vacation together. At the same time, Sunny still officially lives with his wife and she is close to his family and so on and so forth.
On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 12:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I think I had read about Rekha and her partner in one of your posts and tbh I find it sad that they have to keep that relationship from the public…maybe ppl wouldn’t drag the Bachchans everytime Rekha’s name is mentioned lol.
Maybe the fact that most of this is new to me makes it dificult for me to understand. It’s almost like when I talk to my grandma and try to understand where she’s coming from. It’s almost impossible to relate to her ideas sometimes. But I still respect that, I guess the same thing I can apply in this case. The idea of not divorcing someone eventhough ppl know that the couple is not together anymore and there are other partners is just very strange to me, but if those are the tacit rules then that’s ok.
But, how do the kids deal with that for example? Has anyone read anything about that?
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I have to do the same kind of thing, think about it as though I was reading something in the past. When I read about aristocrats in olden times having long term mistresses, even raising illigitimate children, and everyone knew, I can find a way to accept it. So I should be able to accept this.
For the kids, I guess it depends on exactly what the situation is household by household. Arjun Kapoor for instance, his parents did actually get divorced, and his father’s girlfriend was a total secret from everyone until the divorce (not an open secret in society, truly no one knew and it was a shock to all), and it is terribly painful for him to this day. On the other hand, Rishi Kapoor had very warm memories of seeing Nargis on set, and kind of knew what was happening between her and his father. But it was removed from day to day family life and didn’t really affect him that much.
Now that I think about it, with the celebrity kids, I know far more traumatic stories for the children of divorce versus the children of “we aren’t really divorced but everyone knows”. Maybe because part of the trauma is the scandal of divorce? Like, it gives the media permission to dig in and ask you about your parents’ relationship and your childhood in a way they wouldn’t for just a separation? Especially with all these second generation actors where everyone knows the dirty business of your family, the trauma is doubled once they become famous and start being asked all about their family.
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Yes I figured I should view it as that. It makes it ‘easier’ i guess.
Well, that makes sense in a way…if your social circle knows and kind of accept it and leaves the ugliness of having the media constantly asking about it, it might be less difficult. Especially if you belong to one of the most ‘important’ families…I could just imagine the media asking non-stop about a divorce in the case of Shweta for example. They still ask about Rekha!!!
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Exactly! Shweta getting divorced would be something that would follow her very public children (and niece, and elderly parents) all their lives. Her being lowkey separated means the media doesn’t really have an excuse to ask the question.
On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 3:23 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yeah, that makes a powerful reason to not get divorced I guess. And I have the feeling she doesn’t really like to be in the spotlight like some others in her family so it’s probably a plus.
BTW, which of your 101 series do you think I should dive into? I have no idea where to go now 😀
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Sanjay Dutt, Sridevi’s individual posts, the Kumar-Khanna-Kapadias, Meena Kumari. Those are all good for giving you big picture for how the film industry works, plus fun little family stories. Oh, and my two nepotism posts.
Thanks for asking!
On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 3:44 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thanks!!! I’ll do that, probably in that order too…though I thought your post on Marriage and Movie Stars sounded interesting too.
Well, the good thing about being home is that I have more time for this right now.
And once again thanks for responding…cause I’ve asked a lot 😊
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“Maybe because part of the trauma is the scandal of divorce?”
This reminded me of Kaagaz Ke Phool. The protagonist hasn’t lived with his wife for years, and nobody cared. But as soon as he felt in love and wanted divorce everybody started gossiping and even the girls in his daughter’s school started harassing her.
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Exactly! Even his wife didn’t want him back, it was a mutual separation. But divorce would make it a scandal.
Other part of that, extra-marital relationships can be beautiful and poetic, but if there is a divorce and remarriage, than it is wrong. Which is what drove me crazy with 96! Everyone loved the romance of this couple that can barely touch each other but love each other, but if Trisha had said “I’m getting a divorce”, there would have been an uproar.
On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 2:15 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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