Valentine’s Week Review: Hasee Toh Phasee! Two Broken People Fixing Each Other

Well, this is a remarkable film! It’s actually a lot deeper than I expected, reminded me of Jab Harry Met Sejal more than anything. One of those movies that is less a love story and more a story of two lost souls helping each other be found.

This is a movie that feels torn between art and popular. There are many moments of the film that are as real as anything in the fancy new Netflix shows. And then there are other moments that are just old-fashioned Dharma romance. It’s an unusual fit, which, for me, adds to the power of the film. To have the gloss of fairy tale love over this difficult story, and to have this difficult reality under the fairy tale love.

And an equally unusual fit is Parineeti and Sidharth as co-stars. Pari’s weakness as an actor is that she tends to try too hard, to go too big. While Sid’s is that he doesn’t try enough, comes off as blank more than anything. But put them together, and they balance and enhance each other. Sid’s blankness feels like hidden depths, Pari’s mannerisms become charming and real instead of studied. I would never have thought to cast them together, just as I would never have thought to take these characters and put them in a rom-com, and yet it works.

In a lot of ways, this is your standard formula Dharma romance. Two newish stars playing the leads, a bunch of cheap but familiar character actors surrounding them, a good sound track with at least one super catchy hit song (“Punjabi Wedding Song”), a first time director and long-time Karan mentee, and lots of trailer-friendly visuals mixed in, longing looks and loving moments and so on. It’s the same movie Karan made with Ek Main Aur Ek Tu, Gori Tere Pyar Main, I Hate Luv Storys, and plenty others.

But this is also a Phantom film, part of the set of Dharma-Phantom co-productions, and Vikramaditya Motwane took a pass at the script. So it has the standard Phantom touches too. A disfunctional family, damaged and miserable leads, and a winding journey towards enlightenment. It’s all there, just hidden under the bright colors and pretty faces of Dharma.

I vaguely remember, at the time this film came out, reading criticisms of it for “Dharma-fying” the plot. Specifically that “Punjabi Wedding Song” which was so obviously put in just to be a catchy hit and a marketing hook. But watching the movie, I discovered that “Punjabi Wedding Song” was in fact vitally important to the plot, and a major part of the characters’ journey. All of the “Dharma” touches were, even the look of the leads, the hero HAD to be someone who looked like Sidharth Malhotra, and Parineeti’s girl-next-door-secretly-pretty look was necessary for the heroine.

This isn’t to say it is a perfect movie. There’s about 20% too much plot, for one thing. Sid and Pari’s life conflicts are needlessly complex, you could have gotten them to the same emotional place going in a straight line instead of a zig zag to China and back. And the structure could have been tighter, when I was trying to remember the order in which events occur some of it felt clear and perfect, and some of it was a little more mixed up. But this is a romance, and the most important part of a romance is the central couple and the relationship between them. And this film has an astonishingly strong central relationship.


When Sid is in college and supposed to be studying for the IPS exams, he sneaks off to a wedding instead. And meets Pari, who is running away from home on the day of her sister’s wedding with a bag of money stolen from her father. They immediately hit it off and she asks invites him to come to Goa with her. He turns her down and goes back inside and sees her sister Adah Sharma, the prettiest girl there, and immediately decides he must win her over. 7 years later, Sid and Adah are engaged, Sid has become an event planner in order to measure up to his movie starlet girlfriend Adah who he is terrified of losing. She asks him to find last minute housing for one last wedding guest, Sid immediately recognizes the guest as the girl he helped 7 years earlier. There is nowhere available at hotels so he dumps her at a guest house than learns she is Adah’s estranged sister and goes to check on her and finds her in a leaking bug infested room. He takes her back to his apartment where his whole family is staying for the wedding and introduces her as a “friend”. No one seems interested in taking care of Parineeti (even Adah is more worried about her causing a scene at the wedding than anything else), and she is in the middle of a nervous breakdown and needs a keeper, so Sid finds himself taking her around with him as he rushes about trying to raise money for his company in order to impress Adah and her family. Pari alternates manic energy when she is on the homemade medication she concocts, and sweet vulnerability when she is off it. Eventually Sid learns that Pari was a brilliant chemist who ran away from home with her father’s money in order to fund her research.

She moved to China for a PhD, and then stayed on running a research lab, but she couldn’t pay back the money from her investors and fled to India. She is desperate for money. Sid helps her hack into her father’s computer to steal it from him, but also insists that she has to talk to her family. Pari’s family is mostly unhappy to see her, but her father stands up for her and says it was his fault for driving her away. The night before Sid’s wedding, he admits that he wishes he had run off with her to Goa 7 years earlier, but it is too late now, and she should just go back to China and leave him alone. On the wedding day, Pari leaves to go back to and Adah finds her phone and sees the messages from Sid and calls off the wedding because it isn’t what he wants. Sid rushes off to find her and they unite outside the wall, at the same place they first met 7 years ago.

Do you see what I mean about too much plot? Really this movie is getting at something very simple. It opens with a flashback of Pari and Sid as children. Pari locks the bathroom door from outside in her crowded apartment building, locking everyone out. Sid unlocks his bedroom door from inside, so he can sneak out and follow the rest of his family to a movie. Pari is always locking people out because they don’t understand her. Sid is always trying to undo locks so he can be with other people. Pari grows up to be a difficult young woman who doesn’t know how to ask for help or express her emotions. And Sid grows up to be a young man who is always asking for help, apologizing, following people around because he is afraid they will leave him behind.

The 7 years structure is fascinating because we can see how both their lives pivoted on that moment. Sid was already sneaking out of locked rooms to go be at a wedding with his friends, and was judging the women at the wedding based on superficial appearance, and wanting to “win” them in order to prove himself. He needed that external validation he never got from his judgmental father. And Pari was already misunderstood by those who should have loved her, her uncle convinces her father not to support her because she has short hair, wears jeans, is “odd”. But in that moment when they met, Sid automatically offered help and Pari, after hesitating a moment, took it. And then responded by asking him to come somewhere with her, wanting him. If Sid had gone with her, he would have gotten the solid unyielding support he needed in order to conquer his desire to please everyone. And she would have gotten the love that would have allowed her to feel safe asking for help, opening up. But, it didn’t happen. Instead Sid went back inside and started a destructive relationship, one where he never felt worthy or “right” with the other person, but was also terrified of losing her because his whole self-worth was wrapped up in their relationship. And Pari went off to China, to a place where she was only valued for her intelligence and not for her person, making her even more cut off from any emotional growth.

There’s also whatever is happening with Pari. It could be Aspergers, a very mild form, that’s what it feels like sometimes. But the movie also covers itself by having her make her own unidentified medications. From her behavior and the reasons she takes them, it seems like the “drugs” she is on are not supposed to be addictive exactly, more behavior modifications that she wants. Like Adderall or other drugs that give more focus and energy to the brain. So she is an extremely intelligent person whose brain doesn’t work in the typical fashion, and who can sometimes be overly hyper and confident when self-medicating. It almost falls into the category of “movie disease”, but then how often are mental disorders perfect? It is entirely possible for someone to have a touch of Aspergers, plus a smidge of OCD, plus be so intelligent that they tend to live in their minds, plus be suffering from the effects of constant rejection which taught them to be shy, plus plus plus. The script just barely stays on the right side of the line for me, Pari expresses emotions and has motivations that make logical sense, and even in her most charming and free moments, still isn’t quite “perfect”. Pari’s unnamed condition is ultimately treated the same way an unpleasant facial scar, or a link, would be. It is not who she is, it is something that is part of her and which makes most people back off before they truly learn who she is.

Perhaps it should have simply been a facial scar or a limp. That would have taken out one level of complication to the script, we could have had her medicate with steroids that allowed her to overcome a physical ailment, and her relationship with her family and interactions with Sid could have stayed focused on simple shyness and fear of rejection. Or maybe the whole China plot should have been removed. Keep Pari as the odd girl who lives in her head and acts strange, but make that the only problem she has to overcome. Keep it simple, she lost her job in America because she offended the wrong person and now she is back in India with no job and no money and no idea what to do next.

In the same way, Sid’s story could have been A LOT simpler. He is an event planner, that’s fine, fits with the charming fun guy persona that he puts on, and makes sense as a career that aspiring actress Adah would want him to have. But instead of just making him an event planner, they make him an event planner who is trying to launch a whole new concept of Cricket, dealing in amounts of 50 crore rupees (7 million dollars). He is constantly fast talking people, asking for money, spinning plans. It’s a way of building his character, but at a certain point even the audience loses track of what he is doing. If he was simply trying to book a wedding, or a conference, and was looking to please the agent accepting bids (instead of borrowing money to make a bid to some third party we never meet), I would have had a much firmer grasp on what he was doing. And it isn’t until the very end of the movie when he finally gains the confidence to talk directly to Pari and Adah’s father about money that the audience gets a sense of just how successful he is already. Adah is always nagging him because he isn’t doing well enough for her, so the audience has the impression of a stupid failure. Instead of having plot and backstory on top of backstory for him, I would have appreciated just a quick moment earlier to show that he is intelligent and successful and Adah is pushing him because he always succeeds, not because otherwise he would fail. Something as simple as one of his friends or employees reminding him of a previous success so the audience knows about it, instead of just seeing him fail over and over again.

So, that’s what I DON’T like. The needless complications. But what I do like is the end result of all of this. The goal is to bring Pari and Sid to a place that is the darkest they have ever been in, and show that nothing is really dark when you have the right person with you. Pari is terrified of what she has left behind in China, and terrified of being hurt again by her family in India. Sid is at the finish line and feels it all slipping away, everything that makes him feel like he belongs, his event planning business and his perfect girlfriend. And then they find each other again.

There are so many intelligent elements to how their relationship is built, how all their relationships are built. Adah, Sid’s fiancee, could so easily have been a stereotype, the “evil” fiancee. But instead the film makes sure we see that it is a trap they have both built. She keeps pulling away and setting higher challenges because deep down she doesn’t want to be with him. And he keeps making promises he can’t keep and lying to her because deep down he doesn’t think he is worthy. They are both miserable in this relationship, and both stuck. But Parineeti will never ever leave him. And so, he never has to lie to her. They help each other become better truer versions of themselves, instead of worse.

Parineeti and Adah, that is a barely dealt with relationship, but again handled very well. Adah cared enough to invite her to the wedding and give her a phone. But not enough to try to help her get back with the rest of the family, or do more than pass her off to Sid. She feels a bond with Parineeti because they are sisters, but she doesn’t like her as a person. She doesn’t hate her, but she doesn’t like her. And slowly, over the course of the film, it becomes clear that she doesn’t really like Sid either, not the “real” Sid under all the glamour and charm. Sid can put on a good show, but at heart he is just as odd and damaged and intelligent as Parineeti. He is just better at hiding it.

The heart of it is Sid and Pari. It’s a very odd relationship, and yet it works. Pari is grateful to Sid right at the start, aware that he is caring for her in a way no one else has in a long time. And then very suddenly, she falls in love. They are trapped together on a swing, a sheet flies into Sid’s face, Pari at first laughs at him and then sees that he is legitimately scared and helps him. And then tells him she feels very strange, like there is cool water underneath and fireworks above. It’s an odd moment for her to fall in love with him, maybe it is because it is the moment that he reveals the vulnerability at the heart of him that is the same as hers. He needs help, he is suffocating. And that is what reaches through her own barriers and forces a human connection back to her awareness, makes her see that she loves him.

The rest of the film isn’t exactly the two of them falling in love, or even falling more deeply in love, but more about the bond that has been there since the moment they met 7 years ago coming to the surface to where they have to talk about it. Pari is honest with herself and him, declares her love boldly over and over again, tells him they have a connection like hydrogen and oxygen, that he should leave Adah and choose her because she will never leave him. But she never asks for anything in return, she doesn’t seem to expect that he will return her feelings. Moment by moment, as she says and proves her love, a change occurs within Sid. He comes to love himself, through her eyes. He decides he doesn’t want event management, even though he is doing well and getting all the validation he could need, he wants to join the IPS and be a police officer like his father. He stops putting up with Adah’s demands, and her father’s insults. Discovering he loves Pari is almost beside the point at the end, of course he loves her, the question is if he will do anything about it?

That’s the question for Pari too. Her whole life she has accepted people not understanding her, learned to work around it. She stole from her father because she knew he wouldn’t give the money freely. When Sid tells her to leave, to go back to China, she goes, because it makes sense to her that he wouldn’t want her. Until her moment in the airport bathroom when she considers taking the rest of her pills and killing herself, and instead decides to stop and go back and fight for what she wants. For both of them, the other is the prize at the end of their journey of self-realization, and also the guide on that journey.

And sex is a big part of that. Pari runs away from home after her uncle declares her so hideous that they should marry her off quickly. With short hair and unfeminine clothing, no one wants her. Sid turns away from her in preference for her pale, thin, long-haired and sari-wearing sister. But is that what really attracts him? Or is it just what he thinks should attract him? We see Sid and Adah together a lot, and they never touch, they never smile at each other, they hardly make eye contact. With Pari, they are constantly talking, smiling, even standing in a way that feels matched together. She still isn’t “pretty”, not like her sister, her haircut is rough and she tends to wear jeans and t-shirts not “pretty” clothes. She isn’t the woman Sid is supposed to want in any way. But this movie doesn’t shy away from the way physical attraction can drive romance. Their physical comfort together, and true intimacy (she tells him when she is hungry, when she has to use the bathroom, and so on), is a sign of how they are meant to be together. And it culminates in that derided “Punjabi Wedding Song”.

Adah and Parineeti are Gujurati. Sid’s character is Punjabi. Adah is constantly trying to change him, including the style of their wedding. But Pari, she embraces it. She arranges a special surprise for his family party before the wedding, a Punjabi song which says that “Bhangra” is better than “Garba”. The lyrics talk of her love for him and also show her love for him through what she has just done for him. And right before the song is the moment when he helps tie her sari blouse and just that slight brushing of his hands across her back is enough to make them both breathless. This is a glorious outburst of love and desire shown through explosive dancing.

If you right out the basics of the plot, it sounds really horrible. A man falls in love with his fiancee’s sister during the wedding celebration, and while he is locking her in rooms and forgetting to feed her and generally treating her terribly, and then even though he knows she is in love, he keeps spending time with her, and then yells at her and sends her away right before his wedding, driving her into a depression deep enough to lead to suicide. But it’s not about the basics, it’s about the steps along the way, the little moments of kindness and understanding and happiness between them, the way these two people are broken but put each other together.

21 thoughts on “Valentine’s Week Review: Hasee Toh Phasee! Two Broken People Fixing Each Other

  1. Does it happen sometimes to you also, that you watch a movie, and you like it, but after few days when you start thinking about it you discover it was not good at all?
    I had this feeling after seeing this movie. My first impressions were: it’s different but good, and the actor is so handsome. But after some days I started hating it with all my heart (if fact it’s on my black list)
    Parineeti’s acting as drug addict was so over the top! but what I hated the most was that finally we had rom-com protagonist who is clever, educated and has a career, and how did she end? Stealing his father money and being addicted to drugs and jobless! Because girls who are not girly and have plans are evil. You can’t trust them, and it’s better to marry them quickly. Maybe it’s not what the makers wanted to say, but it’s what the movie left in my head.


    • Yes, happens all the time! I finished 96 last night and it really really bothers me the more I think about it. Not gonna say any more, because I don’t to spoil people who haven’t seen it.

      The money thing was interesting in this movie. There was a possible argument that they didn’t fully explore, that Pari and her father were alike in that they were both too smart to be understood by the people around them. Because of that, his money was Pari’s money to an extra degree, it’s not a coincidence that this very smart young woman has family money available to her. The argument that was a little more obvious was that if Pari were a boy, her family would have given the support and then some that she needed, so stealing from them was only necessary because they were not giving her what, in fairness, they should have. You could even expand that to say that the only reason she ended up in China, and with dodgy investors, was because regular investors wouldn’t work with a young woman. The theft was a way of righting a social imbalance. Of course, the movie didn’t exactly say any of that, it just showed Pari is an unappreciated genius who had to trick and steal to get money for her research. We even see how Sid can take her ideas and give them to an investor and come back with money for nothing, while Pari has a great idea and can’t get funding.

      On the other hand, the movie definitely argues that Pari needs a man to take care of her and all her problems are solved by love and marriage.

      On Tue, Feb 12, 2019 at 2:36 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  2. I do see what Angie is saying here. Parineeti’s character is a mess and whatever she’s self-medicating with, the movie doesn’t actually responsibly address issues around mental health and depression here. That’s always been my biggest issue with the film (and the fact that Parineeti overacts with the tics, etc. doesn’t help).

    Still with all of that, it consistently is in my top 10 Hindi romantic films of all time for some reason. There are so many special moments in it, including that hilarious scene when he’s climbing up the house balcony to talk to their father and then covers by saying he want’s to talk about the groom entrance, the blouse-tying scene, and so many of the scenes where they are becoming friends and falling in love are so sweet as well as quirky. I do think that the plot is unnecessarily complicated and I’m never quite sure what happens with the cell phones at the end that tips off the sister to what is going on. But overall, this is a film that I could return to time and time again, with some fast forwarding perhaps.

    Thanks for finally watching it, Margaret:)


  3. I do see what Angie is saying here. Parineeti’s character is a mess and whatever she’s self-medicating with, the movie doesn’t actually responsibly address issues around mental health and depression here. That’s always been my biggest issue with the film (and the fact that Parineeti overacts with the tics, etc. doesn’t help).

    Still with all of that, it consistently is in my top 10 Hindi romantic films of all time for some reason. There are so many special moments in it, including that hilarious scene when he’s climbing up the house balcony to talk to their father and then covers by saying he want’s to talk about the groom entrance, the blouse-tying scene, and so many of the scenes where they are becoming friends and falling in love are so sweet as well as quirky. I do think that the plot is unnecessarily complicated and I’m never quite sure what happens with the cell phones at the end that tips off the sister to what is going on. But overall, this is a film that I could return to time and time again, with some fast forwarding perhaps.

    Thanks for finally watching it, Margaret:)


    • I wish there had been more discussion of actual medication options for Pari. Really, just flip it. Have her calm and “real” when she is on the pills not off them. Make it that she was prescribed pills in China that work for her and she has to make more of them on her own in India and that’s why she is hoarding stuff and falsifying prescriptions. And be explicit that her family doesn’t understand her mental health issues and wasn’t willing to let her get treatment. That would add another level to her nervousness around them and need to get away. The film heads in that direction with the way everyone except her father just wants her to be “normal”, but doesn’t talk about how this need for her to be “normal” is probably why she never got the treatment she needed at home.

      The cell phones at the end are one of the special moments I really like! We see Sid calling and calling and it feels like the usual rom-com trope of calling and her not answering. But then we get the other side of it, Adah looking at the phone and seeing a missed call or a message every minute from Sid and she can fill in the gap of him calling Pari even as he arrives for the wedding. It’s also a nice note of how much Sid has separated his relationship with Pari from Adah. This is just Adah’s extra phone, Sid started by seeing Pari as an extra Adah, another responsibility. But now he has so completely forgotten they were ever connected that it doesn’t occur to him Pari may have given Adah her phone back.

      And I agree, that is just one of many special moments in the film! Sweet and quirky in the best way, like they are two people truly falling in love, not just acting out some kind of romantic fantasy of perfection.

      On Tue, Feb 12, 2019 at 3:21 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  4. I never understood what Sid was trying to sell to his investors actually, thank you for clearing that ! Yeah too complicated with her China business and his cricket, they could’ve simplified that.

    But I loved the small nuances they had throughout. Like we see all the sisters laughing, but Pari’s missing. She never fit in; and for them they were happier off without her (except for her dad no one really missed her). Also, we never see Adah interacting with his family, but Pari fits in there well. The necklace theft scenes were hilarious! And also Sid’s relative who takes a liking to her. I found all the portions with Sid’s family really cute. And the scene where she has an accident when he locks her in a room was so heartbreaking.

    They should’ve ironed out Pari’s issues better – there’s a mention of drugs, and she pops pills – all got a lil confusing.
    Thank you reviewing this movie Margaret! One of my fave movies!


    • Yes! I love how Pari fits with his family. The “Punjabi Wedding Song” is the culmination, but it was there all along. And it is a nice subtle way of showing what a difference Sid’s unquestioning support made in her life. He didn’t just support her, he got his friends to support her too, she was never really alone. Even with the necklace theft scene, Sid stood by her and so she was able to think her way out of it. But in her own home, no one ever took her side, and so she never really opened up and relaxed and let them see the real her. And Sid is the same, it isn’t until he has Pari with him that he is able to say what he really thinks and feels about things. Adah never made him feel safe.

      On Tue, Feb 12, 2019 at 5:54 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  5. For me this is Parineeti’s last good performance. She was scared, intelligent, funny and vulnerable at the same time. The scene where she’s locked in the room is so beautiful. And Sid’s only good performance in my opinion. Did this do well at the box office? I don’t remember exactly.


  6. Just watched this over the last couple nights now that it came to Netflix and oof, I did not like it very much. The thing that most bugged me is that we’re supposed to see Sid as a good guy but he runs out on his girlfriend of seven years at the wedding, after lying to her about money for months, to go start up with her sister who he’s known for a week. That… doesn’t seem like it would end well? His character did not seem well developed at all to me, definitely not enough for me to give him a pass on all that. I resent when movies try to manipulate me into sympathizing with people behaving badly just by sticking in a couple of flashback scenes that imply it was destiny. You know how I feel about the true love trope :).

    The other thing that icked me out was when he yelled at her that her depression was just weakness and that taking pills was a form of cowardice. Like Pari just needed the love of a good man to cure her non-specific mental illness. I could maybe have gotten past Pari’s weird tongue thing and acting tics if it weren’t for that moment. Really she behaves terribly throughout as well. We are not supposed to sympathize with her family when she stole a bunch of money and caused her father’s heart attack in the middle of her sister’s wedding? They don’t treat her very nicely when she comes back but really we only see them when they’re reacting to some big mess she caused. But we’re supposed to accept that all of that is OK because she made a magic bouncy ball. Just goofy.

    I do give Sid top marks for soulful gazing. And I liked Pari better once she started telling him what to do. Otherwise, I’m on the nope side on this one.


    • Yeah, those are a lot of reasons this is not one of my favorite movies. Although I like it better than you did! I’m okay with Sid leaving his fiancee (although I don’t love it) because it feels like their relationship was always about the two of them lying about who they are and what they wanted. While with Pari, Sid was just honest. And Pari was always honest. Also, the sexual tension is on FIRE.

      My biggest problem is the Pari mental illness. It’s fine making her ill, just figure out what the heck she has and how she is treating it and be consistent! Is it because her family never loved her for herself? Or because she is depressed? Or has Aspergers? They seemed to change it scene by scene. And her homemade medicine was just a ridiculous plot device.

      On Wed, Apr 22, 2020 at 10:38 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



      • I think I would be more OK with Sid leaving his fiancee if they weren’t sisters. That just seems like a huge betrayal by both Sid and Pari. Not to mention awkward family gatherings forever.


        • Yeah, and I don’t know how to get around that. Maybe make them cousins but for some reason her father is hosting the wedding? We need the betrayal of this wedding going on in her family home and she isn’t invited, and the tension of her avoiding all her relatives. Or maybe just neighbors/business partners or something?

          On Thu, Apr 23, 2020 at 4:09 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



          • Does Sid need to be the groom? Maybe he’s planning wedding but the bride is his longtime crush that he’s had a secret affair with, getting married to a more suitable man? Still family drama but more of a happy resolution all around.


          • But I think Sid has to be someone who has always been afraid to break the rules. Being the groom places him firmly in a rule following place, while being in the love with the bride makes him already a bit of a rebel.

            What about the groom’s younger brother? Then we can keep the family all around, and that feeling of “there isn’t much of me in this wedding”, but make it about him watching his brother getting married. Oh OH!!!! What if his brother is marrying Pari’s sister? And he can tell the brother-sister relationship is a little bit doomed? So then the stress is Sid convincing his brother to run away from the wedding, followed by the decision for him to marry Pari as a substitute.

            On Thu, Apr 23, 2020 at 6:20 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:



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