Hmm. Let’s see if I can do this. I really want to help the People of the World to be able to like what they like, and not like what they don’t like, honestly and openly. And also work through my own difficulties in that area.
When I was in grad school, my very first class, my teacher talked about romance novels. And she was dismissive and joking about them and then had us read some really good articles discussing them, and all my classmates said smart things about the problems with the genre. And I sat there thinking “but, I like romance novels! Am I a bad person? Am I blind to what they are doing to me? Why do I like them, is this revealing some terrible flaw within myself?” I left class feeling all shaken and unhappy, this part of my life that had given me joy was tainted.
There are lots of things in my life that make me feel that way. I got McDonald’s on the way home from the movie last night, drive through french fries at midnight, and it was the best thing I’ve eaten all week. Which is BAD and WRONG. I shouldn’t like McDonald’s food, I only think I like it because I’ve been brainwashed and I’ve lost the ability to appreciate real food.
I love popular sitcoms. Friends, Frasier, The Big Bang Theory, sometimes Cheers, they are my comfort brain food. But that is WRONG. The sitcom format isn’t mentally challenging, jokes rely too much on stereotypes and prejudices, laugh tracks are the enemy of thought. Every time I read a think piece on the state of television today I just feel terrible.
I don’t know why this is about myself, why I feel so guilty for liking what I like. I want to be like my grandfather. My grandfather likes movies with boats and trains in them. Doesn’t matter if it is a romance or an action film, if there are boats and trains for him to look at, he will like the movie. And he is perfectly comfortable saying that, “I liked this film. Lots of trains in it” (he doesn’t have dementia or anything, he just likes looking at boats and trains and always has. Just like my other grandfather liked any movie with a horse or a dog in it). While I am left to flubber and bubber and try to come up with a real deep reasons a thing is good or bad or else feel mildly guilty, he just accepts that he likes a thing because of the reason he likes it.
If you are also like my grandfather and feel comfortable with why you like things and don’t like things and have no issues when people disagree with you, you can stop reading now. You already know everything and are a sane well-balanced person. But if you sometimes feel guilty for liking what you like, sincerely guilty like you are harming the world, than maybe reading about how I have worked through things will help you work through things.
It’s not just reviews and opinions that are all around us now, it is opinions on our opinions. If I like something, or don’t like something, suddenly I have allied myself with one group or unallied myself with the other. It’s awful! And it’s not a function of my being a blogger whose writing is public and out there, it is just a function of being a person in the world today. In fact, Indian film, the thing I write about obsessively and analytically, is the one area in which I feel most comfortable with my opinions. What really disturbs me us when I start to feel like my confidence and comfort with my opinions is making other people unhappy with theirs.
Part of the reason I am so comfortable in film is because I know there are no wrong answers. Film is a unique art form, because it incorporates so many different artists, so many different elements, all into one thing. Auteur theory argues that a film is the brainchild of one man (the director), but I disagree with that. How can something that brings together so many different things reflect only one view point?
And just as the film itself reflects many views, so does the reaction to it. Film is a mass media, it is intended to be enjoyed by a massive number of people. And people are not all the same, each audience member is watching and experiencing something slightly different from everyone else.
There are certain objective elements to the experience, yes. Most films have a clear plot at the center, a beginning and an end we can all agree about. We can also agree on the general topic of the film (WWII, cross-caste romance, putting on a show). We can agree whether they are in color or black and white. We can agree on whether they do or do not include songs. We can agree on the names of the central characters. If you have a higher technical knowledge, you can agree on things like what is a tracking shot, what is in focus and what is out of focus, and so on.
But so much of the movie experience is subjective! If you got enough sleep the night before, if you had a bad day at work, if you are seeing it with a friend you really like or a friend you kind of hate, all of that can effect whether or not you like a movie. That moment of first experiencing the film puts a little stamp on your brain and affects how you look at it forever after.
And then there are the higher level reactions. If you have experienced something similar to the plot in real life, you will relate to it more deeply. If one topic of the film is related to something about which you have special knowledge, that will become your focus above all else. If you are particularly sensitive to colors, you will notice the beauty of the mise en scene over the performances. If you are particular sensitive to words, you will focus on the dialogue. If you are particularly sensitive to music, you will notice that.
There’s the other side as well. A movie may have terrible actors but a great scriptwriter with beautiful dialogue. Or a bad script, but beautiful images and camera work. Because all of these things are done by different people. The end result of a movie is a collaboration of many many hundreds of artists, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. And each of those hundreds of artists can speak more or less loudly to each of the individual millions of audience members.
Now, what is the job of a reviewer? A reviewer is human like everyone else, they will also be affected by their mood that day, what they ate for lunch, and everything else. But as a reviewer, they need to try to set that aside. More important are the higher level subjective reactions. For me personally, I am a story person. If a film has a good story, I can forgive all other flaws. I try to force myself to look at the other elements of a movie, but ultimately that is what I am.
A reviewer might also have certain areas of specialty about which they have extra knowledge and care a little more. For myself, for instance, I am a white woman living in America. If a white American woman shows up in a movie, I am going to be more interested in her and my review might point out inaccuracies in her life that I would not notice in the life of another character. I need to try to avoid that. If the whole film is about a white American woman, than my expertise is appropriate and I should spend time on using it. If that character is not important, my review may still be slanted towards looking at her rather than the other characters, and that reflects my experience of the film, not the universal elements.
A reviewer needs to be objective as much as possible, but some amount of subjectivity is unavoidable, and even good. If you are also a story person, you can read my reviews and get a sense of the quality of the story of the film. If I accurately talk about my reaction to the movie, based on my particular background, I am helping you to understand another perspective, which is valuable. Even if you don’t agree with my perspective, especially if you don’t agree with it.
But what I don’t want, for my readers or the readers of any other reviewer, is to lose their own pleasure in a film based on what someone else thinks. Or to feel personally offended and angry because someone does not agree with you. With films in particularly, it is highly possible for two intelligent caring thinking people to feel completely opposite.
None of this is to say we shouldn’t listen to each other. And sometimes, yes, a review can change your mind about a film or book or TV show. But that should be rare, rare that the one thing you like about a movie is the exact same thing a reviewer (for good reasons) dislikes. More often what should happen is a greater awareness of the diversity of humanity, how we all have our own stories and our own reasons, and that is okay. The lesson is just to respect each other.
I hate it when I get comments here saying “I used to love this movie and then I read your review/this other review and now I hate it”. Don’t do that! If you love a movie, let yourself love the movie. If it brings you joy, that is a good thing.
So, here are the steps I am trying to follow every time I consume something, just so I can feel certain within myself about how I feel and why. And you can try following those same steps if you want, especially while reading my reviews, so I don’t feel like I am beating you down with my opinions the same way my grad school teacher made me feel horrible for reading romance novels.
First, decide if I myself actually like the thing I just read/watched/listened to, yes or no. Are you happy, in that moment when it ends? Does your spirit feel uplifted? Are you eager to see it again? Or do you feel tired, worn down, unhappy? If you are happy, that’s great! Acknowledge how great that is!!!! And if you are sad, that’s terrible! Acknowledge how terrible that is (I am often starving and miserable after eating at fancy restaurants. That’s terrible! Why do I do that to myself?).
Second, honestly decide if the reasons I liked it (or disliked it) were purely situational or not. For instance, I will never truly be happy watching Zero because I saw it for the first time after a brutal 5am flight with no breakfast, and it will always bring back that feeling of mild illness and stress. And Dilwale will always make me happy because I saw it in a sold out screaming theater with 5 friends and my sister. But if I say “I don’t like Zero” and then get into a whole conversation and eventually realize it was just because I was really sleepy, I will feel soooooo stupid. Better to know in advance that is why I liked it.
Third, once I have found the situational reasons, find the things about artwork itself which made me like it (or dislike it). There are no wrong answers here. If I don’t like the movie because I hate Randeep Hooda’s face, that is okay. If I like Dhoom 3 a disproportionate amount because it is set in my hometown, that is okay too. But again, way better to know that then to get caught in a situation where I have to defend my opinion without knowing what it is and why it is.
Now, when I am being a professional reviewer, I have to do more sorting of all of these reasons before I write a thing and publish it. Figure out which ones are valid for many people (“I like Happy New Year because it feels like a throwback to old-fashioned masala movies”) and which ones I have to reject because they may be valid for me but will not be valid for anyone else (“I don’t like Dil Dhadakne Do because movies on boats make me seasick”). And of course, the reasons that might be valid but I am not sure (“Lamhe disturbs me because Anil doesn’t have a mustache, is that crazy?”).
I don’t want to have to do that kind of analysis for every book I read, every TV show I enjoy, every movie I watch just for fun. But I also don’t want to feel ashamed of what I enjoy. I am trying to find the balance between the exhausting over analysis I do when I review things, and a healthy confidence in my own opinions as just a regular person who is trying to live in the world. And if you are also struggling with that “how can I not feel bad for what I like?” question, maybe this is useful for you. Or maybe you are just happy to know that, in non-Indian film areas, I am as lost as confused as you are.
dontcallitbollywood 
Ha, funny you mention Lamhe because what I got out of the film was very different from what other people get out of it. I still loved it but it was interesting how people on Twitter reacted to my interpretation (it’s not romance, it’s a psychological horror film but I don’t think the director understood that’s what he was making).
I think people should like what they like but I also think it’s a good idea to challenge yourself on what you like and how it fits into the zeitgeist in general. For example, all of the critically acclaimed TV shows where you are actively encouraged to identify with an antihero and get off on their bad behavior, e.g. Game of Thrones, Mad Men, The Sopranos, Dexter, Breaking Bad, etc. Like what does that content say about our current political and social moment, what does it mean when we are vicariously taking part in terrible behavior and how does that spill over into real life?
I definitely believe women are shamed for their genre preferences and men aren’t. Men can love ridiculous superhero and action flicks but women get shamed for Twilight, for example, even though it’s no more regressive and ridiculous than Transformers.
As an aside, is it possible your granddad is on the autism spectrum? Because liking trains and boats in movies is a very spectrummy thing based on living with two dearly loved people on the spectrum.
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Grandpa is 100% not on the autism spectrum. Very social, very good at being with people, but also likes trains and boats in his movies. I suppose it could be related a little bit to his increasing hearing issues? As he has a harder time hearing dialogue, he gets more pleasure out of the stuff he can see and enjoy without needing plot context? But mostly, just likes trains and boats.
I got so much pleasure out of reading the Twilight books, they are super fun to read. And then I read a million articles about this problem and that problem and discovered that all the “smart” people hate it, and felt all guilty and ashamed for enjoying them, and like I had to pretend I didn’t, and blech! But, why? I was at a really miserable point in my life, they were a great fantasy to escape into, and it’s not like I went running right out to find a possessive abusive boyfriend afterwards.
On Sat, Jun 22, 2019 at 2:44 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thats not Right, I like Rom Coms and R rated American comedy flicks like “Superbad” but my friends laugh at me for liking cheesy rom coms and make fun of me for watching hormonally charged high school comedies, men can be judged for their preferences too, its not only applicable to women. Oh and Yes I loved Transformers growing up because of the fighter planes that were brought to life as characters on the big screen, and I am not Autistic I just like planes.
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`
French fries are one of life’s pleasures — but if that’s all you eat you’re going to get sick.
I struggle with the “It’s OK to like something even if you’re not supposed” concept. What if you discover you like something really awful (I don’t know . . . um, films of animals being tortured, for example). It seems like there needs to be a qualifier, like — unless it encourages destructive behavior.
Every once in a while, there seems to be a study that finds pornography actually reduces sexual assault rather than encourages. I don’t even know where to begin to sort that out.
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The studies I have heard consistently is that violent movies seem to have no real effect. If you are already violent, you will like them. But if you aren’t already violent, they will have no effect on you.
On Sat, Jun 22, 2019 at 3:12 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Okay, first of all I have to say that seeing Ranbir not perfectly lip-syncing to a song is kind of weirding me out 🙂
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Oh oh! I have a story for this! Rishi (also well known for super good lipsynching) told him that the key is to really really sing it yourself during filming. Everyone will hate you because you are shouting over the recording, but it will look good. And it does!
On Sat, Jun 22, 2019 at 6:10 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Lol, yeah I remember reading about that!
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I enjoy discussing about movies or books which is only possible if there are different opinions. What I dislike when those discussions lead to demeaning or bashing another person for her likes/dislikes. I would not get disturbed about my own opinion although I may reflect on this (like you just described some rather ‘trivial’ reasons that don’t have a trivial effect). And to what I rebel is voicing a negative opinion about a movie or a book you haven’t watched or read only because you have read other opinions.
I think, I would have left this class, too, not because of a critical eye on romances but because of the lacking openess towards the genre that the teacher showed which doesn’t really allow a discussion open to all sides.
And please, Margaret, better let us wait for another day instead of writing a review under ‘bad’ circumstances 🙂 I remember that I truly was tempted for a moment to question my own perception of Zero 😉
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Yeah, the repeating of opinions without having seen the thing/read the book/listened to the song or whatever else it is really bothers me too. Especially when those repeated opinions are use to contradict the feelings of someone who actually has seen or read what is being discussed.
Unfortunately, I can’t always wait for the perfect moment to watch something, but I do try very hard to compensate for the situation when writing my review, do the job of setting aside my person situational feelings and just review it. I can tell you my review of Zero was as honest as I could be and I stand by it. But that doesn’t mean you should question your own feelings about the movie, we can have different opinions and both be happy.
On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 4:08 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Your last line: That’s why I cherish this blog so much. Still happy to got to know you…always a highlight in my spare time 🙂
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I was recently at an event with co-workers from outside my office, and I got excited because one guy I’ve been friendly with turns out to watch Indian movies, goes to the theater and everything. I was thinking yay! new movie buddy. Then he asked me the last movie I saw in the theater and I said Zero, and he totally flipped into but that’s a terrible movie. I mentioned liking two of the three main performances, and he said he hadn’t watched it. Dude! So whose opinions have you adopted? Why so judgey? It’s fine to choose to watch different things based on personal taste, and maybe you won’t have much common ground of films or shows to talk about with someone whose tastes are different from yours. But don’t hate on other people’s movies (or music or books), especially if you’ve never bothered to watch them yourself.
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Ugh, how frustrating! Plus, it sounds like there was no interest in hearing your reaction. Which makes no sense to me, because I find minority opinions on films fascinating! Especially movies that the world has labeled as “bad”.
Did the conversation go into the next step of “you must be a silly SRK fangirl and that is why you liked the movie and I will now dismiss anything you say otherwise”? I hate that, and I get that all the time. I can both be a fangirl and also have judgement and understand why I like a film!
On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 8:23 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I was called away in the moment, but I’ve been trying to draw him out over text message. He recommended Made in Heaven, which is then my turn to not come off as judgey while explaining that I don’t have Amazon because they’re evil. So far we’ve agreed on Andhadhun and Kahaani and he recommended Badla. Progress.
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Ooo, you can watch Talaash together!
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Well, clearly Kabhir Singh is out of the question, though I was talking to my other friend about. Just not great show times for such a long movie.
I might try a theater outing with this guy sometime over the summer if the right kind of movie comes out at a time that works for both of us. It seems like a case where I just like more stuff than be does but we should be able to find some overlap.
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Showtimes work great for me with long movies. My local theater tries to always end movies at the same time, so if it is a short movie it starts at like 8:30 and I have this weird dead time between work and movie. But Kabir Singh, 7pm! Just enough time to walk the dog and I went off again!
On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 9:48 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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This sounds like a rom-com plot. Coworkers constantly arguing over films, one person challenges the other to see a film they love and try to convince them to love it too. The films reflect the points they are at in their relationship and slowly they start to fall in love. There has to be a complication in there, maybe one of them loves a movie the other hates and they get into a huge fight over it and go off to date people who agree with them on all films but then they realize they prefer spirited arguments with a worthy opponent over a life of dull conformity.
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I Hate Luv Storys!!! That’s kind of the plot. You should check it out. The hero’s horrible for the first ten minutes, but power through that and it gets good.
On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 10:27 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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But what if you get aware that the so-called movie buff is just a fake??? Convince him to be honest? Let him drop like a hot potato? Or this may be the needed conflict for the movie?
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Ha! I don’t think he’s a fake, but I do suspect the influence of an as yet unknown third party – a friend or significant other who is the real source of his opinions.
Not seeing a romcom plot given that I’m married with kids and we might both like men. A funny but contentious friend plot, though, with interference from partners and work drama…that could fun.
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No one had the right to belittle your choices in movies, books, art, or otherwise. However there have been plenty of times I have changed my perception of a movie based on reviews I have admired and appreciated and vice versa. I am not sure if that is a bad thing. For example, I really disliked Jab Harry Met Sejal when I first watched it. Frankly, I just found it boring. But reading your multiple reviews and analysis made me watch it for the second and third time and it gave me a different perspective. It is still not among my favorite movies, but I have found it much more enjoyable and been able to appreciate aspects of it that I didn’t when I first watched it. In the same regard, I think Love Aaj Kal is Imtiaz Ali’s best romance and way better than Jab we Met and Jab Harry Met Sejal. I’ll comment more on why I think so on your Love Aaj Kal review post, and your review didn’t necessarily change my mind about it. To me, a review is one person’s perspective. And as much as reviewers point out flaws in other reviewers (every “expert” feels this way about their area of expertise) and tries to reduce external factors and what they consider biases, reviewers are still human who inevitably come with biases and they will leak through. That isn’t to say the person’s perspective isn’t worth listening to or even considering, but I guess to me, while I understand the merit of not changing what your like based on reviews, there is an argument to be made about truly considering reviews, especially those that disagree with you. It is only by considering the opposite point of view can your confirm your own. And the conclusion can be, for example, that all the negative reviews make valid points, but I still just like this movie.
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Maybe it’s about if you change your overall opinion without changing your original reaction? Like, I am terrible at recognizing and appreciating good music. I may watch a film and find it very slow and dull, and then read something that points out the musical elements I missed, and I see a new thing that I can appreciate along with the other things I didn’t like.
Oh, and so excited to see your comment on Love Aaj Kal! I think it is Imtiaz’s most popular film, or second most popular after Jab We Met, and I thought for sure people would have opinions, and nothing!
On Sun, Jun 23, 2019 at 12:24 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I find that my taste and opinions are easily and readily influenced, changed, or broadened by reviews and opinions that are intelligently presented, which have some flow of logic, some knowledge of history and context of the art form in question. Otoh if the review is obviously emotional or inane then it almost biases me away from taking it seriously. This is what i dislike about “public reviews”.
But when it comes to “guilty pleasures”, those are mine. Again, you can expand or broaden my view of my guilty pleasure films, but you won’t get me to dislike them, because the fact that i know such a film has demerits is why i classified it (for myself) as a guilty pleasure in the first place.
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I should maybe think about a third category of films. I have that first step there of “did you yourself like it or hate it?” but I didn’t consider the possibility of “or did you have no really strong reaction?” I think what you think of as “guilty pleasure” movies would be the ones I put in the “yes, I definitely definitely liked it and it makes me happy” movies. Whatever reason that is, it’s yours and that is okay. But if there is a movie that is just “well, it was fine”, then it’s different, right? That’s when reading a review might make you go from neutral to either liking it or hating it.
On Mon, Jun 24, 2019 at 9:21 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yes definitely to the third category, and i welcome that journey, of being influenced by well thought reviews, even polar opposite ones. It gives the film more meaning than just the 2-3 hours ispend with it. I also like reviews because of how the reviewer writes and thinks, it’s its own work of art, if that makes sense.
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Yes, that is why I used to really love reviews. I also got kind of used to the academic version of reviews, and the historical version. The ones where they are choosing to talk about a particular film because they find it interesting, with no judgement as to whether it is overall “good” or overall “bad”, because it came out 20 years ago and it is beyond those simple judgements now. That’s part of why I like my Friday Classic reviews, I don’t have to go into them with a need to have an overall judgement of good or bad, it just is what is and I find it interesting to discuss.
On Mon, Jun 24, 2019 at 11:30 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Mostly reviews are written after the first watching. I’ve experienced that it isn’t bad at all (if there is interest) to watch the movie at least a second time and then rework the notes done after the first watching.
That’s just a thought because I don’t write reviews as I only am interested in analyzing a movie when there is discussion.
My categories of preference are: can watch the film over & over again, would like to watch the movie again, no interest to watch it again.
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Bardwaj Rangan had an interesting essay a while back about the “only watching once” issue. He had two points, first that Indian producers need to be better about providing screeners so reviewers are able to watch the films in advance, and watch them multiple times. And second that readers need to be aware that reviewers are only able to watch films once before publishing.
The first issue doesn’t really matter for me, I’m not getting screeners anyway and even if I were, I still might not have time to watch each film twice. But the second issue does speak to me. Those opening day reviews should really be read more as the “first draft of history” kind of things, reviewers might make mistakes here and there, might return to the film later and see new things, this is just a quick first impression.
On Mon, Jun 24, 2019 at 12:47 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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