There is no reason for you to care about this. Well, except that my ability to make and consume coffee is what will bring you a review of the SRK Letterman special around 4am Chicago time. But I’m excited about it!
As you know if you read everything I write obsessively, I have a difficult relationship with coffee. It’s too strong, and I am up for literally days. Or, it’s too weak because I accidentally bought decaf and didn’t realize it for 5 months. Or I buy it from the wrong place and it makes me late for work. Lots and lots of disasters.
This week, my boss bought a new larger coffee maker for the office, and it was terrifying! Stainless steel with a whole instruction booklet and all these warnings about horrific things that could happen if you didn’t do it just right. Also, it made no sense and I didn’t believe it would make coffee.
It is a kind called a “percolator”? I have vague distant memories of this from my childhood, but I hadn’t seen such a thing in adulthood. So I looked it up on The Internet to find out how it could possibly work, and I still don’t believe it. The water flows upward into the coffee above and then comes down again like a little coffee rain cloud. Like, REALLY??? I find it more believable that elves came in and replaced the water with coffee while I wasn’t looking.
But the amazing thing is, the coffee was really really good! Like, every time! Even when I made it! It was like some magic coffee fairy had waved her magic wand and removed my coffee curse.
So I went back to The Internet and discovered, that is exactly what had happened! See, the great great great granddaughter of the man who helped invent drip coffee machines was my big sister’s best friend in first grade. And she was TERRIBLE to me. In the way only a 6 year old little girl can be to a 4 year old little girl. I knew she came from coffee money, but I did not realize her coffee money was specifically only DRIP coffee machines.
So look at that, I have found a loophole in my coffee curse! So long as I get coffee from non-drip machines, there will be no lingering childhood trauma to make it taste bad. THANK GOODNESS.
dontcallitbollywood 
Sitting here drinking my Nespresso machine made Americano feeling joyful for your coffee breakthrough. 🙏🏽
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I’m thrilled! 30 years of carrying this curse with me, finally solved! I’ll let the percolator elves make all my coffee from now on.
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I looked up “coffee percolator” and thought it would be a good idea to watch a video…so I chose this one for good information:
I wonder what h e had to endure in his childhood…
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What I want is a clear percolator so I can see what is happening inside!!!
On Thu, Oct 24, 2019 at 1:40 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I want to clear my name! Although she was one of my group of friends, she was never my best friend, not even at age 6. But she was best friends with one of my good friends, so she was part of the social circle and indeed mean to you. I’m sorry!
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I think the fact that you are able successfully make and drink coffee shows that you aren’t really REALLY sorry.
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I can only make instant! It comes out bad in a drip maker for me too.
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The curse, the CURSE!!!!
On Thu, Oct 24, 2019 at 2:12 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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We have a percolator we use for camping. It has a clear knob on the top, so you can see the water first shoot up, and then you can watch the water get darker and darker as it turns to coffee. You’re done when the water looks as dark as you want your coffee. It saves us time because instead of waiting for the water to boil, and then pouring it into a press pot, you just do it all at once (and a stainless steel percolator is a lot more durable than a glass press pot). And it makes more coffee, we drink too much coffee. I like coffee.
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That’s why the knob is clear??? I remember seeing a clear knob on older ones (not this one, it has a light that turns on when it is done), but I couldn’t understand why. The whole process is just super strange. But now I want a percolator for home because it is also super fun to watch happen!
On Thu, Oct 24, 2019 at 2:27 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I wish coffee had an effect on me but it does absolutely nothing and never did. I can fall asleep right after drinking it. I’ve tried all different types and nothing. I drink it straight black with no sugar or milk because I’ve grown to like the bitterness and thought maybe the other things were diluting the effect. This sucks badly when I need to stay up late because it doesn’t help me at all. It must be a genetic thing because my dad is the same way. We can drink 5 cups of black coffee back to back and function as always with no extra alertness whatsoever.
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How interesting! I am the opposite, one cup of coffee will keep me wide awake for literally days. I like it, it’s like a super power I can draw on.
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“Well, except that my ability to make and consume coffee is what will bring you a review of the SRK Letterman special around 4am Chicago time.” By my calculations that is 2:30 p.m in India. Has an announcement been made that that is when it is dropping. Seems like an odd time.
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No announcement, I did research, and Netflix always releases stuff at midnight Pacific time. I suppose it could be different this time, but I’ll be awake at 2am to look for it, if it is released I will watch and write and poof! Review for you all to wake up to!
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Yep, they release everything at 12 am Pacific time. I stayed up to watch El Camino and regretted it so much the next day – mainly because it was a terrible movie so it was not worth it at all.
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Ah! Makes sense! Thanks for the explanation!
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I think it’s funny that so much “outdated” technology like percolaters and vinyl records are coming back. They were always better! I started drinking coffee a few months back when I discovered it’s working to alleviate migraine. I’m using a stainless steel French press and I love it!
Plus I found an incredible online source for coffee in India–Blue Tokai. They specialise in coffee beans from different regions of India. I order online and they grind it to my specifications. I would highly recommend them to anyone else living in India!
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That’s interesting, coke is what helps my migraines (not cocaine, coca-cola).
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it’s the caffeine that works. Coke or tea will also help. Or Tylenol Extra with caffeine.
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See for me, only coke. Or exedrin when it gets really bad Coffee doesn’t do it or anything else. And this is why I threw up in a McDonalds the first time I went to India! I neeeeeeeeeeeeded a coke, and they were slow to take the order and slow to serve me, and thus vomit everywhere.
On Sat, Oct 26, 2019 at 2:25 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Ugh I’m too tired to watch now as I’ve had a migraine all day but I’m imagining you watching Shah Rukh with rapt attention and your mouth slightly agape at his unbelievable hotness, wit and charm. 💗💗💗enjoy! Can’t wait for the review and will watch the show tomorrow with my friend Shivani! She’s a Hrithik and Tiger fan but since she’s bringing the kids over she’ll be forced to watch w me…and of course it’s for business purposes…research and all that. I’m just so excited to watch someone like Dave dig deep into the SRK magic.
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Review is now up, a mere 9 thousand words and it only took me 4 hours to write. And now I have to leave for work. Oh boy, fun day to be calling me for tech support!
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