Thank you for the idea Alisa/BollywoodNewbie! I am really excited to see what everyone votes for. So many good options!
We understand traditional masculinity, right? No emotions, no vulnerability, deep bonds to other men in a silent non-vulnerable way, women as responsibility or sex objects not as friends, no emotional labor put towards relationships. Most of all, always in control.
2019 was a really interesting year for challenging this whole concept of men! I’m gonna throw out some great movies for that which I saw, and you can add on any that you saw and I missed.
Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga (Hindi)
Anil Kapoor as a loving single parent who dreams of cooking, Rajkummar Rao as a stalker/suitor who instantly turns into a supportive Ally, and the Villain is the most traditionally masculine male character of all. How Different!
Gully Boy (Hindi)
A central romantic relationship in which the woman plans to be the breadwinner while the man pursues his art, plus the woman is more likely to fly into a jealous violent rage than the man. And two young male characters who have devoted their youth to raising children. How Different!
Notebook (Hindi)
A young man who chooses to be a teacher and spend time peacefully with children, whose girlfriend cheats on him, and who falls in love because he appreciates the heroine’s mind and doesn’t care what she looks like. How Different!
Kumbalangi Nights (Malayalam)
A little boy who just wants a family, an oldest brother who struggles in his role as caregiver, a young woman who is the main breadwinner for her family, and most of all a villain who portrays himself as the perfect son-in-law and masculine ideal. How Different!
June (Malayalam)
The perfect dreamy rich boy high school romance, the dangerous lower class bad boy romance, and neither of them are right because they don’t fully support and understand the heroine’s dreams. How Different!
De De Pyaar De (Hindi)
A confident older man with a young girlfriend who seriously considers the problems of their age difference. And who chooses to be there for his estranged daughter over pursuing his own happiness in love because it is the right thing to do. While at the same time still rejecting traditional roles and acknowledging his ex-wife as the true head of the family. How Different!
Uyare (Malayalam)
Our awesome heroine has a quietly supportive father who is working past retirement to help her afford to follow her career dreams, a variety of male friends who enjoy spending time with her non-romantically, and a boyfriend who just kind of drags her down and insists on making everything about himself. How Different!
Chhichore (Hindi)
Our heroes are non-competitive, non-ambitious, and non-athletic. Later in life, our central hero is divorced but still respects and likes his ex-wife and is the primary parent of their son. How Different!
War (Hindi)
Our heroes are in love with each other in a way that is emotional and deep and loving and supportive. How Different!
Pati Patni Aur Woh (Hindi)
Our hero is unsure of his attractiveness or sexual abilities, especially since his wife is more sexually experienced than he is. He is also so physically faithful that he isn’t even comfortable holding hands with a woman not his wife, although he can enjoy her emotional and intellectual attentions. How different!
Gang Leader (Telugu)
Our hero is a cowardly writer who is brought in to use his mind and help a gang of women get their revenge. Along the way he becomes a caring parent, child, and grandchild. And also builds a home for all of them. How Different!
Okay, go with your gut, which of these most challenged traditional masculinity in 2019?
dontcallitbollywood 
I’ll vote for Gully Boy. It’s rare in Bollywood that the main lead isn’t the ‘hero’. The supporting actor is the better one. We see Ranveer struggle. We see him cry, especially during the ‘Doori’ scene. And we also see him standing up for his mother.
LikeLike
All the movies you mentioned are good, but you know which one beats them all? Peranbu.
LikeLike
Ooo, good point!
On Tue, Jan 7, 2020 at 8:03 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
>
LikeLike
Mamootty didn’t redefine traditional masculinity, he destroyed it with this film. Also in Unda, he played a policeman who is affraid, who doesn’t know what to do, and who misses his wife and child.
LikeLike
It is pretty good. Really putting this list together made me realize how quietly groundbreaking the southern industries can be,
On Tue, Jan 7, 2020 at 9:39 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
>
LikeLike
Oh Angie! This is off-topic, but I just watched a Marathi movie and it made me think of you. Have you seen Girlz? It’s on Amazon. It is a coming of age story of three girls. The lead actress gave me distinctly Deepika Padukone vibes from Piku and Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani. The movie had some good elements and some annoying ones. There is no real male lead and no romance, which was interesting. One of the more subtle messages that I found interesting was that girl was Hindu, one Muslim, and one Christian, which was clearly done on purpose but religion was never discussed and even the audiance would have barely realized this unless you were paying attention to their names and how they refer to their parents, and the whole point was to show what teenagers these days care about and religious differences are not one of them.
LikeLike
I haven’t seen Girlz but will give a look. Sending a virtual hug, it’s so nice you thought about me 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Anil Kapoor and Rajkummar Rao in Ek Ladki. I actually felt sad that Anil wasn’t allowed to pursue his passion for cooking and it was so heartening to see Rajkummar instantly transform into a supportive ally. Oh now, this is making me want to rewatch this movie!
LikeLike
You know what made Anil’s character so great? His lack of self-pity. If he had been crying to himself about his miserable life within gender roles, I would have hated him. But instead he just looked for the bright side and tried to make everyone around him happy. Which just made me want him to be happy! And I guess Rajkummar was the same in the second half, instantly switched to “your situation is so much worse than anything I am dealing with, forget my daddy issues and artistic fulfillment and all that, let’s focus on you”.
Another way they broke gender roles, usually it is women who forget their own selfish desires and try to please everyone else.
On Tue, Jan 7, 2020 at 8:42 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
>
LikeLike
ELKDTAL definitely! Anil and Rajkumar are such good people, who still have flaws, but are lovable still. Anil loving a second time and Rajkumar not only being a supportive sidekick for Sonam, but also someone who isn’t defined by his faith or anything and no stereotyping at all coming from him. It was such a breath of fresh air.
LikeLike
For a movie about Lesbians, ELKDTAL really had spectacular male characters!
On Tue, Jan 7, 2020 at 10:03 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
>
LikeLike
Wow, so many good choices! From what I’ve seen, I have a tie between Kumbalangi Nights and ELKDTAL. Other people have already made the case for ELKDTAL so I’ll talk about KN: the entire film is about destroying traditional masculine tropes and young men growing up and defining their masculinity in terms of building family and nurturing the women in their lives.
I was particularly taken with the brother who took in his friend’s widow to make amends to her for the events that led to his death and then there isn’t even a hint of romance even though people outside the household assume she’s having sex with him. He’s there to support her and her child not to gratify his own needs. I was also impressed with the mother character who abandons her sons to become a nun and refuses to go back home when the boys ask her to, yet when one of her sons complains about it, he’s admonished by his older brother not to judge her because she had suffered a lot in her life.
Special shoutout to War for how it treats its female characters even though their roles are small. Because Hrithik has no romantic interest in Vaani, she gets to be noble and have that great monologue about how most people have no interest in being soldiers and want to live quiet lives with their families. She becomes the conscience of the film. And then Anupriya gets to be a badass who is respected as a member of the team even on her wedding day. She’s not complimented on how beautiful she looks, she’s complimented for being a true soldier.
LikeLiked by 1 person
After poor ELKDTAL lost the “gayest” award, it’s nice that it is heading for a win on “most redefining of masculinity”.
On Tue, Jan 7, 2020 at 11:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
>
LikeLike