It kind of feels like they had more fun making this than the movie

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Thanks to Melanie for this amazing video!  So far, it doesn’t have subtitles, so I have provided a VERY LOOSE translation below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGyczDICqIQ

(if the link doesn’t work for you, try this: http://tvfplay.com/episode/4/23/43)

I can’t give it to you word for word, but the general sense of it is that he says he doesn’t think Kajol and Shahrukh are anything special, and gets chased out of the theater.  The guy he meets on the street bonds with him over “Coolie No.1 is just as romantic as DDLJ!” (Coolie No.1 was a comedy movie from the 90s with Govinda and Karisma).  And he invites him to join a “Chi-chi and Lolo” fan club (old nicknames for Govinda and Karisma).  And then gets shot.
On the train, you probably got most of it, they keep telling him to raise the hands again.  Then!  The important bit!
So, Shahrukh and Kajol arrive, Shahrukh corrects him and asks him to call him “Dr. Shahrukh”, and Kajol sticks with “just Kajol”.  Then, in my favorite bit, Kajol’s phone rings, and the ringtone is from a terrible terrible movie she was in with her husband!  Terrible terrible!  I love it, of course, but I have never managed to get anyone else to sit through it.  This is the song they use for the ringtone.  It’s just so cheesy!
And then Kajol answers the phone, and starts giving wife-like directions “did you look in the fridge?  No, third shelf.”  And then switches to cute talk about whose bum is cuter (I love Kajol SO MUCH).
After she hangs up, here is the the dialogue more or less word for word.
Kajol: So tell me, what problem do you have with our jodi?
Jeetu: No problem.  I was just saying that onscreen there are other jodis that seem good.
Shahrukh: There are other good jodis?  You mean (ha) Lolo Chi-chi?
Jeetu: Yes, no, I mean.. John Bipasha?
Shahrukh: Hey, we’re talking about romance!  Not that kind of stuff.
Kajol: Exactly
Jeetu: So, Hrithik Kareena?
Shahrukh: Oh!  Yaaaaaaaa-dein
Kajol: Main Prem ki Diwaaaaaaaaniiii.
Shahrukh: Haha.  Jodi?
Jeetu: Ranveer-Deepika?
Shahrukh: Ranbir?
Kajol: Ranveer
Shahrukh: No, he said Ranbir
Kajol: He said Ranveer!
Shahrukh: Which name did you say?
Jeetu: I don’t know, now I am confused as well.
Shahrukh: Confused teenagers!
Jeetu: Also, Sha-Doctor Sahib and Juhi jodi was very nice.
Shahrukh:  Really?  You liked that?  We were so cute always!
Kajol: What!?!?
Shahrukh: What?!?  That’s what I mean!  What!  What are you saying!  Juhi and my jodi just worked in Eden Gardens [home of Kolkata Knight Riders].  But Kajol and my jodi was good in every garden.  Especially mustard gardens!
Crowd:  You said it, Sir!!!
Jeetu: What is your proof, sir?
Shahrukh: You want proof?  Say it!
Kajol: Which jodis height, weight, and even the skin tone is the same?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Shahrukh: Which jodi has had the most free coffee on Koffee with Karan?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Shahrukh:  Which jodi has peer pressured boys to keep the Karva Chauth fast?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Kajol: Made you run to catch the train?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Shahrukh: Who put Switzerland on the world map?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Kajol: Who promoted basketball in India?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Shahrukh: Who got the biggest slap from Amrish Puri?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Kajol: [Something about husband and wife?]
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol
Shahrukh: More popular than the Titanic cast?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol!
Shahrukh: One is to three?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol, Shahrukh Kajol, Shahrukh Kajol!
Shahrukh: And the last question: how many months after the DDLJ release date is your birth date?
Kajol: 9 months?
Shahrukh: 9 months, 20 days, 4 hours.
Kajol: Huh?
Shahrukh: Third show, Maratha Mandir, Uncle-Auntie, that time…?
Kajol: So now tell me, what is the reason you came into this world?
Jeetu: Shahrukh Kajol?
And then the end is just back to the beginning bit, only now Jeetu is the super fan, and his friend is the doubter (or, as the girl in the first bit says, “atheist!”

9 thoughts on “It kind of feels like they had more fun making this than the movie”

  8. Pingback: Dilwale finale! Full Ending! Complete Synapsis, finally! Obviously Spoilers: Part 7 | dontcallitbollywood

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