So, Sonam just started talking about this like two days ago, and now it is here!  Coldplay’s new video, featuring Sonam Kapoor!  Except, not so much.  And also, not so much a bunch of other parts of India.  But really, it’s a 4 minute song, it’s not about what’s left out, it’s about what’s included.  And I guess it’s all fine?

So, going through shot by shot, we start with a peacock in an ancient fort.  Which is super Indian, but not in a made-up fantasy way like it isn’t also something you might actually see in India.  And then there are some priests in billowing orange robes carrying tridents.  Which again, fine, cool, something you might actually see.  Little hand cymbals, shots of actual modern India with apartment blocks and telephone and TV cables, Beyonce in a scarf walking up a stairway in that stone temple/fort place, more modern India including three guys riding a motorcycle covered in Holi colors (Rangeela!), and more priests in saffron robes on street corners.  Kid dressed like Krishna (did they film this near Krishna Janmashtani when the kids dress up like Krishna and are adorable?).  Funky angle down a hallway out to balcony where Coldplay guy is singing in front of a MASSIVE temple with big saffron flags in the background.  So, okay, we get it, we are in India.

All of this is stuff you would actually see in India, and it doesn’t feel like they are consciously doing this, but it feels sooooooo Hindu!  Like, if I saw all this in an Indian music video, I would assume it was made by radical conservatives.  I mean, there is a Sikh taxi driver? But that’s it, otherwise it is all saffron-saffron-saffron, Krishna-Krishna-Krishna, Holi-Holi-Holi (okay I know Holi is basically secular, but technically it also has a Hindu background).

But, if you aren’t totally into Indian social issues and the way images can affect them, why wouldn’t you have a bunch of cool Hindu images?  Those temples are beautiful, and the orange/saffron color is very striking.  And it doesn’t feel like they edited out other religions, just like when you are making a 4 minute video, you include the first few cool things you see, and don’t really think about the rest of it.

And then Beyonce shows up again, a lot.  Apparently, this is the thing some people are upset about?  Or some people are saying some people are upset about (it can be hard to track these things down on the internet)?  I, myself, am not upset.  And I think they did it really well to not be upsetting.  Beyonce is wearing a dress, a completely western dress.  It has a lot of gold embroidery, but that’s not really an Indian thing, you know?  That’s just a cool thing.  And she also has a scarf hanging down her back, sort of in an Indian way, and henna on her hands.  But again, can we say that it’s really Indian to do that, or just like a thing people do?  I mean, I’ve gotten my hands henna’d plenty of times!  Various South Asian cultural clubs used to offer it all the time on campus as fundraisers.  What really strikes me, and where I think someone was super on the ball, is that they didn’t change her hair and they didn’t mess with her jewelry.  Plus, the dress thing.

The scarf and the henna are just sort of standard basic all-Indian stuff.  Her henna design is just some leaf patterns cutting across her palms, I think.  Not the kind of intricate details that would indicate a bride, or the circles in the palms with the dark finger tips that would mean a Tawaif.  So it is just decorative henna, with no bigger meaning (or at least no deeper meaning that I know, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong).  Same with the scarf, just hanging down the back, not folded around her head in anyway that might be specific to a particular region or indicate a particular position in society (unmarried woman, wife, widow, etc.).  Most of the time, she is wearing a huge flowered headdress that matches her dress outfit in being just plain cool and totally unrelated to anything Indian.

But the hair and the jewelry is the brilliant stuff.  If you straighten it, that’s saying you are imitating the north Indian woman, and that there is something wrong with Beyonce’s less straight hair.  If you just pull it back, then you look like a young girl with a braid, or a respectable married woman, which is making another statement.  But if you leave it as is, then you are just Beyonce wearing a scarf and that’s it (or else it’s an homage to Madhuri in the 90s, and we can all get behind that!).  The jewelry, the cool sort of face mask like chain thing, that, I love!  It’s almost like a courtesan, and almost like a bride, but also clearly not either of those things.  It’s just a cool thing that looks neat, but it’s not a regular piece of Indian jewelry that makes any kind of specific statement.

(The Madhuri above)

(not this Madhuri)

No, the two things I have a hard time with are the lack of Indian men and the lack of Sonam Kapoor.  Actually, there is a general lack of people.  This version of India is basically deserted, with a few joyous children dancing in the street.  India is harmless, joyful, innocent.  It loves people visiting because they can fill up it’s empty empty streets!  It wants you to come and enjoy and participate in its culture!  It’s not modern, strong, adult, threatening, full up with its own people and not wanting any of yours.  So, not great Coldplay.  Not bad, but not great.

And then there’s Sonam.  Or rather, there isn’t Sonam.  She shows up for like 10 seconds at the end.  But worse than her lack of screentime, is the quality of that screentime.   Beyonce gets so many shots of her face!  It’s all about the camera just loving her face, and her face being the centerpiece of the shot, being worshipped by all the innocent Indian children, all of that.  And then Sonam shows up, gets this like half shot of her face for a second, wearing a super traditional outfit, with hardcore traditional eye make-up, flings some flower petals in the air, and that’s it!

I don’t mind this as an image of an Indian woman, I mind this as an image of Sonam Kapoor.  She’s not the biggest star, but she is a star.  And they didn’t even bother giving us her whole face!  Like, they didn’t think anyone would recognize her?  They didn’t think people would care about her?  No small children worshipping Sonam?  There is a whole sequence showing the importance of film in Indian culture, inside a movie theater, lovingly lingering on the projector, but no awareness that one of the stars of those films might deserve her on loving lingering shot?

Not that you would even necessarily recognize her if she did get that loving lingering shot.  The whole established Sonam personality is removed.  She’s India’s urban fashionista and a powerful business woman, and here she is in a basic outfit, off at some fort in the middle of nowhere, dreamily throwing flowers in the air.  It feels a little insulting of Sonam, but more than that, it feels pretty dismissive of all the people in the world who actually do know Sonam Kapoor and were looking forward to seeing how she influences this video.

(Where is this Sonam?)

But, you know, it’s mostly fine.  I have no real issues.  Coldplay is whatever.