Not like a “mentor who is romantic” (that would be Shahrukh in Dear Zindagi) but as a mentor in the field of romance.  He is not great at it, at least as shown in Dil Chahta Hai and, possibly, in this movie.

I saved Chak De for last in Shahrukh Week post before Dear Zindagi because it was the most obvious parallel.  I saved Dil Chahta Hai for last because it is my favorite Aamir movie and the one I most wanted to talk about.  So it is my little reward for finishing all the other posts!

I love Dil Chahta Hai, and all 3 leads (plus Preity) are great in it.  Akshaye is soulful and sensitive and direct, Saif is funny and naive and sweet, but Aamir is the heart and soul of the film.  What’s so great is that he doesn’t start out that way.  In that way, it is kind of like Pardes.  We start out with the wise and witty and streetwise guy coordinating everyone else’s life.  And then, slowly, it shifts so that his facade is broken down and his own life is the one that needs handling, and we discover that all his wisdom for romance was actually terrible advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKB1LUojBVA

In Pardes, the point isn’t as clear, because Shahrukh ends up falling in love with the same woman he tricked into loving someone else.  So it feels all messy and confused with his feelings and her feelings and  the other guy’s feelings and so on.  But Dil Chahta Hai uses multiple women and multiple guys and somehow that makes it less confused instead of more.

Aamir is introduced as a guy who is “too smart” to fall in love.  He arranges the break up of Saif and his possessive girlfriend.  He avoids the girl who is in love with him.  Instead, he confidently flirts with a pretty stranger using an outrageous line, and laughs it off when she turns him down.

My first reaction to seeing him is “what a jerk!”  But then the script kind of comes around to showing you the value of his approach.  Saif really is too soft-hearted.  It really is the kindest thing to avoid that poor love sick girl.  And that “pretty stranger” might have been interested in him if her boyfriend hadn’t stepped in.  The big turning point is that magical trip to Goa, a trip Aamir masterminds, which turns into an affirmation of the  importance of their friendship in contrast to their love stories.

And that’s great!  It’s great to remind love sick Saif and art-sick Akshaye that there is a bigger world out there, that this is their last time together, that nothing is more important than their friendship right now.  It sets Aamir up as not just a fast-talker, but as the legitimate leader of their group, the one who knows what is best for his friends, and who they trust to know what is best.

And then it all goes wrong when suddenly they run into something he doesn’t, or refuses to, understand.  When Akshaye confesses his love for Dimple, not his infatuation or crush but a sincere love, Aamir just can’t understand it.  I see his reaction of “great!  An older woman can teach you things” as not just the first thing that popped into his head, but as another attempt to “teach” Akshaye through his abrasiveness and jokes, in the same way he had “taught” Saif to get over his childish infatuations.

We just saw Aamir treat Dimple wonderfully, taking the lead in making their impromptu “birthday party” work, and giving her not just entertainment but kindness and warmth and understanding.  I don’t think he just sees her as a warm body to teach his friend about sex.  But I do think he sees Akshaye’s feelings as just infatuation, and by talking about them in this way, he is hoping to guide him away from an inappropriate feeling for a woman he can’t have.  He is trying to give a little heart ache now to prevent a bigger one later.  Because he doesn’t realize it is already too late for that, doesn’t even realize that it CAN be too late for that, that his friends can feel something he isn’t able to tease them out of, that he isn’t able to even understand.

That’s the real conflict of the film, that Aamir in his efforts to push his friends forward is actually holding them back.  He is at a higher level of maturity than them at the first, more cynical and clear thinking and aware of the world.  But once he pulls them up to that level (getting Akshaye out into the world, getting Saif to stop falling in love every 5 minutes), he is holding them back, trying to keep them at this level instead of reaching an even higher maturity.

Which is why they need to split up.  Akshaye, to get serious about his painting.  Saif, to work for a woman and “earn” her in a way, instead of just being bullied into a relationship.  And Aamir most of all, to learn how to relate to people outside his friends group, to learn to take responsibility for his life (we saw him not just falling in love, but also going to work and succeeding at the company on his own merit), and to learn that there are some feelings you can’t just joke about, and you can’t forget about.

And in the end, they come together as simply as they came apart.  Not because there was a big gesture or discussion.  But because they knew that each of them had now reached the same higher level of maturity, where it’s not just about friendship and good times any more, but about something deeper.  Marriage, sure, but also taking work seriously and taking other’s feelings seriously, and being willing to take a risk in your life.

Which brings me to Dangal!  From the trailer and songs, here is what I suspect will happen:

1. Aamir will train his daughters and give them confidence and bring them up to his level as an athlete and generally as a “man”.
2. His daughters will start to go forward to something he doesn’t understand, falling in love, wanting their freedom from his guidance, and this will lead to a big fight.
3. In the end, he will come to understand and appreciate the new maturity and wisdom his daughters have found, and will experience something like that as an individual in his own life as well.
4. Family reunited, Happy Ending!