5 Song Sequences That Are So Illogical They Almost Ruin the Film (Yes, “Dola Re Dola”, I am looking at you)

What fun! I’m gonna criticize stuff! I almost never do that, because I like liking things. But sometimes it is okay to be mean. And I really hate Devdas.

“Dola Re Dola”, which is a total fail on so many levels. First, a respectable matron like Paro is supposed to be would never dance. Second, a naach girl like Chandramukhi would never be invited to a respectable party like this. And third, Paro and Chandramukhi would definitely never have shared with each other their love for Devdas. And all three of these points are kind of THE BASIC MEANING OF THE STORY. Paro is trapped in her respectable life, Chandramukhi is trapped in her red light district world, Devdas is able to move between the two because of his male privilege, but the two women can never meat each other. Such a stupid song idea!

This song is secretly super catchy, and I appreciate Imraan’s disappearing buttons quite a bit, but it ruins the movie. Imraan is such a disgusting horn dog here, it’s hard to relate that to his character in the rest of movie. And it doesn’t even really work, he’s supposed to be an irritating hipster who is above it all, he isn’t supposed to be a cool bar hopping player. “I Hate Luv Storys”

A whole movie plot built around an illegitimate child and her miss-matched parents, we need a really realistic and impactful vision of the couple falling in love and having sex. What we do not need, is sex in a tent hanging off the side of a mountain to distract from the pain of a broken leg (seriously, how good is Ajay at the sex if it can be used as pain meds for a broken leg?). “Darkhaast”

The plot of this movie is Akshay in love with Raveena Tandon and being drawn into a world of gangsters and criminals because of his great love for her. Now, I haven’t seen the whole movie, but I really don’t think mud-sex with Raveena’s much older sister Rekha can possibly be consistent with the rest of the film. “In the Night No Control”

I love this song, but oh my gosh it makes no sense!!!! Our hero, burning for vengeance, takes time out to sing about love rabbits? “Macho”

Okay, what are your movie songs that make no sense at all and ruin the movie for you?

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “5 Song Sequences That Are So Illogical They Almost Ruin the Film (Yes, “Dola Re Dola”, I am looking at you)

  1. Khul Khabi in Haider made no sense…Shahid just found out his father is dead, had his dramatic street speech, and now he is singing a romantic song in the snow?!?

    Also, even though Sridevi was amazing, Kaante Nahi Katte in Mr. India was so inappropriate for a kids movie…

    And, Chaiyya Chaiyya (Dil Se) made no plot sense…why is a journalist dancing on a train with a sexy woman and all those dancers? Stunning song…but zero logic to the terrorism plotline…

    Finally, Vande Mataram in K3G made no sense…why is London being established with a patriotic Indian song? Ooh, look Indians everywhere…white people doing Bharatnatyam on the streets…England just like India…

    Like

    • Come to think of it Kaante Nahi Katte and Chaiyya Chaiyya are super popular outside of the films, people like them with no film context at all. Which isn’t necessarily the best sign for the song fitting within the film.

      On Mon, Mar 18, 2019 at 9:23 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

    • Chaiyya Chaiyya not only doesn’t have sense but is very misleading. I watched it years ago when I didn’t know who Mani Ratnam is and what kind of movies he does, and I was shocked and confused by the movie. I didn’t expect this kind of film at all after seeing Chaiyya Chaiyya.

      Like

      • The few people I’ve convinced to watch Dil Se with me, I tell them, they put this happy song up front to give you a little bonus, because it’s the last time you’re going to be happy watching this film. 🙂

        Like

  2. Aside from all the great points you made, the competitive aspect of Dola Re Dola is ridiculous! In what universe does a dance off between them IN FRONT OF AISH’S FAMILY AND IN-LAWS OVER A MAN SHE’S NOT MARRIED TO make any sense at all???

    I Hate Luv Storys kind of shows me why Imran doesn’t have an acting career anymore–he was being shoved into parts that just didn’t suit him. He is very charming in the right roles but he will never be credible as a lothario.

    Darkhaast demonstrates yet again that Indians have no clue about snow. It is not sexy to be in a freezing tent and try to figure out how to get the spaceship in the docking station when you’re risking frostbite on your kibbles and bits.

    I put “In the Night No Control” in the category of so bad it’s good. Sure, it ruins the film but in these trying times, we need Rekha mouthing Naughty Girls Need Love Too.

    For my choices, pretty much every song in K3G that’s set at the college. Kareena and Hrithik wearing tiny scraps of polyurethane in damp, freezing London. It just yanks me right out of the story.

    Like

    • I mean, to be fair, British people – or young women at least – also wear tiny scraps of clothing and strappy shoes in damp, freezing London. But I do not mean that to be in any way a defense of the college songs in K3G!

      Like

    • I’m assuming you haven’t seen all of Shivaay (who has?), but there is so much snow stupidity! Our hero tends to wear a leather jacket, no shirt.

      On Mon, Mar 18, 2019 at 10:00 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

      • You know, it occurred to me that every one of these songs could be fixed if they were made into dream sequences instead of being used for narrative purposed. For example, Chandramurkhi dreaming of confronting Paro in her home or Paro dreaming of going to the place where Chandramurkhi dances and having the freedom to dance for Devdas. It’s aggravating when the directors are tossing in songs and not paying attention to narrative logic or character building .

        Like

        • Yes! That’s what it is! I was thinking “how odd is it that all of these songs are real songs?” You put your finger on it, it’s because they are supposed to be “really” real, that’s why it doesn’t fit in the film. If it’s fantasy, you can do whatever you want.

          On Tue, Mar 19, 2019 at 6:02 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

          >

          Like

  3. What is it with Bhansali and these “We’re both in love with the same guy!” dances? Pinga is another one.

    I don’t like anything about JTHJ, but I particularly hated how “Jiya Re” is supposed to establish fully establish Anushka’s character by having her prance around in booty shorts, because that is the definition of an independent woman. That said, will I put this song on to give me some energy when I clean the house? I will.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Don’t even notice the Anushka bootie shorts, I am too focused on the Shahrukh bicep shirts. I’ll take all the bootie shorts their are in return for bicep shirts.

      On Mon, Mar 18, 2019 at 10:07 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  4. I agree with you about Dola Re. On re-watches I skip it entirely.

    Where’s the party tonight and Rock’n’roll soniye from KANK. It was so cowardly to intercut Shah Rukh and Rani getting it on with Abhi and Preity in the club–ruins both the song AND the love scene. And Rock’n’roll soniye feeds into Amitabh’s gross lecher character and is an excuse for a dance number and cameo from Kajol. Totally out of tone with the movie. Blech.

    In Don 2, I wish they would have had 3 fully picturized songs or no songs. Having one at the beginning, one half-assed one while they prep for the heist (the amazing Hai Ye Maya), and one over the end credits is kind of a jerk move in my humble opinion. 🙂

    Like

    • And this is the kind of song that gives songs a bad name! One of the most common complaints I run across from desis and non-desis is “and then the whole film has to stop for some ridiculous song”. But it’s only true some of the time! The title song from KANK, Mitwa, really all the songs besides those two fit the film perfectly and move the emotions of the characters forward. Even Devdas, most everything besides Dola Re has a purpose. But everyone only remembers the weird out of place songs.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.