Hopefully that headline drives people to actually read the post! I need help figuring out if this plot is actually incestuous or just FEELS incestuous.

I said on Wednesday that I finished Pollyanna Grows Up and wanted to write it as a movie but it was too complicated. I think if we all combine our brain power and struggle along, we can manage it. And it is such an extremely complicated plot, which ends with 3 engagements, that it would be worth untangling it.

Original plot (spoilers for 100 year old two part novel follow!):

Pollyanna is a little orphan sent to live with her spinster aunt. She meets a little boy from the orphan asylum named Jimmy Bean. She also befriends local rich man sourpuss John Pendleton. And the friendly doctor, Dr. Chilton. Pollyanna eventually learns that John Pendleton was in love with her mother and turned sour after she jilted him. Pollyanna suggests that adopting Jimmy Bean would cheer up John Pendleton. Pollyanna also learns that Dr. Chilton was an old beau of her aunt’s. She reunites them. Everything is happy happy.

Then, Pollyanna is sent to go to school in Boston. She stays with Mrs. Carew, a rich old sad widow who obsesses over her nephew, hidden away by his father at age 4 after his mother’s death. Pollyanna finds a little orphan boy with the same name as her nephew, Jamie, who is crippled but also talented and sensitive. Pollyanna also befriends Sadie Dean, a minister’s daughter working at a department store who is lonely in the big city. Pollyanna convinces Mrs. Carew to adopt Jamie, and to start up a charity for Sadie Dean and working girls like her who just want a place to feel at home and have fun. Everything is happy happy.

8 (or 6, the author got confused) years later, everything is Sad Sad. Dr. Chilton, Pollyanna’s uncle, has died. Pollyanna and her aunt are now debt ridden. Meanwhile, Jimmy Bean has grown up to be James Pendleton, a handsome dashing young man. He is Pollyanna’s best friend. Pollyanna, to make money, offers to play hostess to the Carews, Mrs. Carew and her adopted son Jamie and her companion and assistant Sadie Dean. Jamie is now stunningly handsome but has to use crutches. Jimmy Bean is jealous of him. Meanwhile, John Pendleton (Jimmy’s adoptive father) spends a lot of time helping to host the Carews and planning activities. By the end of the visit, Jamie suspects that John Pendleton is in love with Pollyanna (that’s why he is always around), Jimmy thinks Jamie is in love with Pollyanna and therefore steps back so he isn’t competing with a cripped man, and Pollyanna suspects Jimmy is in love with Mrs. Carew because they have a strange connection.

Jimmy finally talks to Jamie and learns that Jamie is actually in love with Sadie Dean, his aunt’s companion. Jimmy rushes home to confess his love to Pollyanna, but blurts out that Jamie thinks John Pendleton is in love with her. Jimmy has no issues competing with his adoptive father for the same woman (that’s weird, right?), but Pollyanna is overwhelmed with guilt because John Pendleton was in love with her mother and already had his heart broken once, so thinks she owes it to him to marry him. Finally all the misunderstandings are untangled, John Pendleton isn’t in love with Pollyanna, he is in love with Mrs. Carew. And Mrs. Carew isn’t in love with Jimmy Bean, Jimmy is her longlost nephew (ha! There’s the incest! I knew it was somewhere). John Pendleton and Mrs. Carew get engaged, Jamie and Sadie Dean get engaged, Pollyanna and Jimmy Bean get engaged. Poor Aunt Polly is still widowed and depressed, but we can’t have everything.

Okay, here’s what I’ve got for a remake. Obviously a two part movie. A young woman arrives at the remote farmhouse, she is the daughter of the disgraced sister of the owner who eloped. Her aunt takes her in out of duty but not love. However, she is so sweet and cheerful and confident that soon everyone (including her aunt) falls in love with her. She softens the local rich man and gets him to adopt the orphan boy that sleeps at the train station. She brings the cheerful doctor together with her aunt. And then when the doctor and her aunt go on their honeymoon, she goes to stay in the city with a wealthy distant relative of the doctor who is sour and sad because of her missing nephew. Our heroine finds a boy she thinks is the nephew begging on the street, at first the rich woman is angry but then softens and likes the boy. Our heroine also finds a young woman dancing in the streets for money and, with her sweet naivety, convinces the young woman not to give in to prostitution. The same young woman is found later by the rich woman and inspires her to start a home for young girls. At the opening of the home for young girls, our heroine is surprised when her aunt and the doctor and her friends from the village show up to take her home, happy combined celebration song occurs.

Second half, 6 years later. Heroine and aunt and doctor were in America so he could study. Doctor died unexpectedly in America, heroine and aunt are left with very little money. They sadly return to the village. Train station orphan has grown into a fine young man, running his adoptive father’s estate. Super strong and muscular and handsome and all. He falls in love with the heroine at first sight, but she is all sad and stressed so he doesn’t want to pressure her. Heroine agrees to host her friends from the city, the street dancer is now a companion to the wealthy woman, and the crippled orphan is weak by handsome. The wealthy woman is older but stunningly beautiful. The boy next door convinces his adoptive father to visit the guests so he will have an excuse to meet them, but is surprised when the adoptive father chooses to keep coming around more and more. The boy next door and the street dancer get drunk one night and commiserate over their frustrating love stories (she is in love with the crippled poet but thinks he doesn’t feel the same way). Maybe a song.

The heroine, after a moment of danger when a bull gets loose, realizes that she loves the boy next door and is ecstatic, until she overhears him talking to the wealthy widow about the strange connection he feels with her and assumes they are in love and is crushed. The boy next door overhears the crippled poet singing and courting the street dancer and is ecstatic until he hears them talking about how his adoptive father is clearly in love with the heroine. He prepares to leave the village forever, the heroine chases after him, he finally admits why he is going, and she is torn and explains (flashback sequence!) that her mother was engaged to his adoptive father and ran out on the wedding, she feels she owes him a debt and must marry him to make up for what her mother did. The boy next door is furious and protests, but she is firm. He plans to kill his adoptive father (I decided to insert a little more drama), but stops when he hears his adoptive father proposing to the wealthy widow and finally understands. He rushes to propose to the heroine, but there is a final hiccup when her aunt objects because he has no family. Luckily, the wealthy widow has spotted the birthmark on his arm and declares he does have family, she is his aunt, that was their strange connection. The movie ends happily with a triple wedding and SONG.

Okay, casting!

Heroine Pollyanna: Alia Bhatt? For that 14 to 20 effect? Or Sara Ali Khan I guess. Or Rajisha Vijayan from June.

Hero: Varun Dhawan for Alia, big and beefy and the picture of honest health. And some kid for the earlier scenes. Or Sushant Singh Rajput for Sara. Or Unni Mukundan for Rajisha.

Aunt: Rekha for Hindi, and also I guess southern if we want it that way.

Doctor: Rishi Kapoor

Rich Older Man: Irrfan Khan

Wealthy Widow: Shefali Shah

Crippled Poet: Kunal Kapoor

Street Dancer: Konkona Sen Sharma