Happy Easter! My Dad’s gonna make a ham, and we are going to hide eggs around the apartment.

If you are a historian, you know Jesus probably looked something like this:

But if you were raised in America, you know that Jesus looked like this:

European features, longish (but not too long!) hair, and beard.  Also usually tall with high cheekbones.  Basically, our Lord and Savior was a hot hippy who took a lot of baths.

That Jesus-look is awfully attractive though, isn’t it?  And so, for this Holy Friday, I thought we would take a look at some hot Jesus-looking men.  Oh, and it’s not offensive, because I’m Christian myself and I teach Sunday School and everything.  Okay, maybe it’s a little offensive, but just enough to make it sexier.

Let’s start with Hrithik as Jesus-a-little-hungover-after-a-late-night-at-the-club:

And then Hrithik as Jesus-about-to-angrily-throw-moneylenders-out-of-the-temple

And then Shahrukh, as peaceful-Jesus-Sexily-About-to-Turn-Water-Into-Wine-But-Too-Holy-To-Really-Be-Into-It

John Abraham, as Jesus-caught-without-sins-and-without-a-shirt

Salman Khan as Jesus-about-to-take-on-Peter-in-a-wrestling-match-and-prove-who-is-the-real-“Rock”

Arjun Rampal, as Jesus-after-an-image-consultant-told-him-to-be-more-“professional”

Kunal Kapoor as Jesus-after-that-image-consultant-changed-her-mind-and-said-he-should-be-more-sexy

Aamir Khan as Jesus-who-is-remembering-a-funny-joke-Mary Magdelene-told-him

Varun Dhawan as Jesus-after-John the Baptist-Ducked-His-Head-Under-Water-And-Messed-Up-His-Hair

Ranveer Singh as Jesus-crazy-cut-after-40-days-in-the-desert

Ranbir Kapoor as Jesus-Doing-Sermon-on-the-Mount-to-Screaming-Fans

Sanjay Dutt as Jesus-well-this-one-is-self-explanatory

And finally, young Amitabh as Jesus-relaxing-after-a-hard-day-preaching-peace-and-justice-for-the-oppressed

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!