Last night I had a funny look on my face and my Mom asked me what I was thinking, and I said “I was just thinking how very very happy I am to be me, and not other people today”. It’s such a wonderful feeling! I want to share it with y’all.
Dad first, he’s the simple one. He has a kidney stone which is apparently the worst pain a human can possibly experience. He also has a ton of pain meds, so that’s nice, but I am still glad I’m not him. Ouch!
And then my sister today is moving, in the middle of a pandemic, in the middle of a blizzard, with a one year old baby. I’m happy they have a house with a yard now instead of being quarantined in a tiny apartment. But I am very VERY glad that I am not them. I have no screaming baby, no blizzard, and no need to stay up all night packing. Ahhhh. Life is good.
dontcallitbollywood 
My then 2.5 year old stopped talking when we moved in 2014. He went from 7 word sentences to stuttering to nothing. It lasted 4 months. Moving is hard. And kidney stones are very painful, and I hate all pain medication except ibuprofen. So now I will be happier, things may be hard now, but at least I’m not moving with kidney stones, because moving with kidney stones would be worse. Or if I put ALL the bad things of friends together, imagine if you spouse died six months ago, you had a still birth four months ago, you father died last month, your father-in-law died two weeks ago (not mine he’s still alive), you have an undiagnosed mysterious disease that isn’t COVID but prevents you from breathing, you got COVID and two months later you still can’t taste food, you just found out your mother has breast cancer, AND you’re moving with kidney stones. That would definitely be worse than my life.
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Oh! I just thought of something! Mom and Dad missed out on putting an offer in on the perfect condo two months ago. But if they had, then we really WOULD be moving with kidney stones right now! So it all worked out for the best. What a lovely thought.
Your poor little guy! My sister just sent a video of the baby. I did not know that you can suck on a bottle and continue sobbing simultaneously. He is a little multi-tasking prodigy.
And yes, there is something nice about thinking about other people’s problems. It’s certainly not being happy they are having a hard time, or thinking you don’t have a right to complain about your life if it is better than theirs, but it is a good way to remember to count your blessings. And I am so sorry for all your friends, and I hope you are taking care of yourself so that you can keep taking care of them.
On Wed, Dec 16, 2020 at 11:25 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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That is a great silver lining to your parents not getting their condo!
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And eventually they will find an even better place and move without having kidney stones!
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Oh yes, it could help to put things into perspective and feel happy for certain mercies 🙂
Sad incidents in my life sometimes made me do just the contrary to what others would expect…and it could well be that I start to sing the most famous song of the Monty Oython, Eric Idle’s “Always look on the bright side of life” or the McFerrin song “Don’t worry, be happy”…
Nevertheless, I wish your Daddy that one can remove his kidney stone and your sister that she and her little family can start their life in the new residence better than they finished it while moving.
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*Monty Python* … (I love their movies and their humour)
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Thank you! Let’s hope your wishes come through, and tomorrow the baby wakes up in his new room all smiles and joy. And Dad wakes up and goes “hey! I think the stone is gone!”
On Wed, Dec 16, 2020 at 12:06 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Where’s it from? “This too shall pass.”
The bad goes away as easily as the good. That’s meant to be comforting. Nothing lasts forever. But why with that many stones, isn’t your dad in hospital? They can be lazered in stages. It might take a while, but it doesn’t hurt like stones do.
Last year, I packed up a 3800 sq ft house on 3 acres mostly by myself. My husband had been ill and was recovering in a rehab facility. The movers came in the middle of a blizzard, the absolute last date before my buyers took possession. They couldn’t get the truck up the hill to my new house and went back to their garage with all my stuff! Not one motel would take me and my pit bull. We slept in the freeing car, turning the heat on and off, until I was able to reach my son who drove through worsening conditions to pick us up and take us to his apartment. Since then, I lost my dog, an old guy, and Covid took my husband, also an old guy but strong with a lot more life in him. I’m here now and healthy and I love my little house and so glad to be back in touch with my DCIB friends.
So I say, do what you can to make things easier but if you can’t, wait it out. The bad will pass.
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First, yes, he did go to the emergency room. They said the stone was 4 mm and they don’t do anything until it is 5 mm or above. So he just gets pain meds and suffers it out naturally. BOOO!!!!
Second, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I noticed you were missing from the blog and missed you, but in my mind I was pretending you had a new grandbaby and were spending all your time with them or something else awesome and happy. I am also very sorry to hear about your dog, although it sounds like with the dog at least it was his time.
On Wed, Dec 16, 2020 at 2:26 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Thank you Margaret, for your kindness.
I got a new dog a few momths ago who has helped a lot. I think I emailed you her pic but not sure I did it right. I also emailed a pic of Prabhas for no reason other than he helps a lot, too.
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You did do it right!
And I am going to do all the dog (and cat) photos together on Friday I think. Angie just sent in a photo of her sister’s new puppy which is just SCRUMPTIOUS.
On Wed, Dec 16, 2020 at 2:46 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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This past year has not been kind to you, I hope is was the worst you’ve lived through. Your phrase the bad will pass is beautiful. And I think it will become my mantra. Thank you.
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I love that DCIB is a safe space where you can share such intimate life experiences. I am truly sorry for your loss this past year. I am glad you are here and we all get to bask in the joy of Indian movies; and thoughtful discussions. I am so happy that you got Teddi in your life and are all settled with your new move.
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You definitely should be grateful. You know I moved in a pandemic, which is rough. At least it wasn’t in a blizzard. But I’ve also had kidney stones when I was in college. I was operated on before the stone passed, so the pain probably wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but I still had to pass out all the little pieces which was by far the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Pain medication helped, but the side effects from being on it were awful. Dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, in that order, and then by the time everything subsided it was time for the next pill. I don’t wish it on anybody. A horrible experience.
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Ugh, how awful!!!!! My Dad claims to not notice the difference when he is on the meds, but we sure do! He goes from being all tired and distant, to being all cheerful and babbling and happy.
But your experience was probably worse. If it was bad enough for surgery and stuff. My Dad’s are on the “not so bad” side of the spectrum. Like, the emergency room people were sort of “ho hum, go home” about it.
On Wed, Dec 16, 2020 at 2:49 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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So quick story about my kidney stone experience:
I was “diagnosed” with kidney stones in March of 2015, my sophomore year of college. One in each kidney. They didn’t become a problem until Memorial Day that year. The way they explained it after ultrasounds (which are also annoying and uncomfortable) was they were both attached to the kidney wall and one dislodged and wasn’t in danger of passing but was basically floating in my kidney which makes it more painful. And I was aware of it constantly because of the way kidneys work so I took ibuprofen preventatively as often as I could for two months. I chose to have that one removed because it was causing me so much anxiety, the worst it had been at that point in my life. If I didn’t have immediate access to a bathroom I would panic. Movies and long car rides were not fun. So they blasted one, noninvasive surgery, and as far as I know they didn’t touch the other one so I still have it in me technically I think. But I had scheduled the operation ahead of time so it never got to the emergency room, but it was affecting my everyday lifestyle so yeah.
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