Saturday Report: A Woman Thought I was 50 and Now I am Obsessing

Well, I’m back from the protest.  Which turned into sort of a nice day in downtown Chicago.  But also a day of ups and downs.

The protest was nice, as a protest, I went with a friend, we bumped into a lady from my church and chatted with her, got texts from our parents saying “we’re proud of you!” and “are you wearing sunscreen?”, and saw lots of cute babies holding signs.  Oh, and I found out that my friend who I went with, her father was in the Chicago protest/riot of 1968.  He got teargassed, and now he is worrying about his daughter getting sunburned.  Oh well, time moves on.


(Doesn’t the Picasso look nice?  I really should get downtown more)

But what was really cool, as the protested snaked down and around a 6 block area of downtown, I realized that it’s the same route Aamir takes in Dhoom 3!!!!  When he’s being chased by the police at the beginning.  He starts off around Daley Plaza, (like we did), you can see the Methodist church tower, and then he zips around past the McDonalds (not the bad McDonalds in the theater district, the other one in the ugly building) and circles back, just like we did.  So I felt like we had a little ghost Aamir on a motorcycle cheering us on.

(Okay, picture this, but with several thousand people carrying signs instead of one guy on a motorcycle)

And then we went into the mall to use the bathroom, and the line for the woman’s was sooooooooooooooooooooo long (because everyone else had the same idea of using the mall bathroom), and the men’s had no line at all.  I kind of wanted to start a mini-protest all over again right there about the unfairness of bathroom gender distribution.

(Also, there are almost never two men doing a semi-homoerotic dance number in the woman’s bathroom)

And then so long as we were downtown, my friend dragged me into Nordstrom’s Rack, where I bought a big pink straw hat.  And, while waiting in line, my friend came over to ask me “should I buy this?” so I could tell her “no, save money” (this is why she takes me shopping with her), and after she left, the nice woman waiting in front of me in line said “was that your friend or your daughter?”  !!!!!!!!  She’s only 5 years younger than me!!!!!!  And I’m wearing my nice new sundress too!

(I know, Anupam Kher is thinking “cry me a river, I’ve had 20 years of being mistaken for father of some guy 5 years younger than me”.  But Anupam went bald at, what, 8?  It’s not the same!  I could still look young!)

And then we went to H&M and I was willing to actually try on clothes, so that I could attempt to look closer to 30 than 50 (or maybe she thought my friend was only 20?  In which case she just thought I looked 40).  And of course they were all tiny tiny little clothes for tiny tiny little people, because it is H&M, which was just even more depressing.

(Not this kind of tiny tiny little people, the tiny like Priyanka is, super skinny)

And then we went to lunch at a sandwich shop where I had a coupon and they tried not to honor it and I was NOT in the mood and pointed out the fine print and we got a free sandwich (is this why people think I am 50?  Because I am the kind of person who saves coupons and then corrects the young lady behind the register when she doesn’t want to give me my discount?  And calls her the “young lady behind the register”?)

(I would totally not put up with this kind of behavior from the register lady!)

And then we took the train back to my friend’s neighborhood, walked back to her place, and I picked up my car and came home.  And along the way, I heard someone say, “I love your hair”, and they weren’t talking to me!!!!!!!!  They were talking to my friend, who does have nice hair, dark purple fading into blue, but still!  I am always the one who gets the hair compliments!

(My hair=Jaya’s hair here.  How could they ignore me????)

And tonight, after I finish this post, I am going to get pick-up from a restaurant because I have another coupon, and delivery groceries for the first time ever, because I have a third coupon and also I hate lugging seltzer cans around for my nightly seltzer and Ovaltine.  Oh my God, I really am 50.

(If I were in India, it would be Horlicks.  But in America, it is Ovaltine.  Vital vitamins and minerals and also chocolate flavored!)


So, to sum up, the protest was great, the heat wasn’t that bad, and I am distracted from both the things I was protesting and the terribleness of Sanju by obsessing over appearances.


14 thoughts on “Saturday Report: A Woman Thought I was 50 and Now I am Obsessing

  1. Of course, had you said “Oh that’s my daughter” you’d probably have heard “Wow, you must have had her in your teens” which would have hurt your good christian girl sentiments wayyyy more!!! OR were you in India, the rude person would just call you “aunty”

    I get called older than my age PLUS “aunty” every time I’m wearing those oversized cotton kurtas (that are sooooo in vouge in Pakistan right now) sans makeup and hair styling. My hair’s sort of ash blonde and shoulder length right now which yellows up real quick and puffs up (thanks, monsoon!) unless heat styled after every wash so it looks like it would belong on top of an aunty’s head (think dimple kapadia!)

    It’s like I HAVE to dress like a college kid (red lipstick and OTT eyemakeup with everything) to look close to my age otherwise I can’t wear anything ethnic that isn’t totally fitted!


    • I really really wanted to buy a huge flowered caftan at the store, but my friend stopped me. Because then I would look like a 50 year old woman for real. But it would be so comfortable!

      I think I may have crossed that imperceptible line where wearing no make-up and long natural hair and funky home made clothes goes from being natural and youthful, to just weird and like a cat lady. I’m not going to cut my hair, because that would be insane, but I may have to stop wearing patched-five-times homemade skirts and start wearing lipstick. Blech!

      On Sun, Jul 1, 2018 at 11:59 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



  2. It’s all in the relationship–you were acting authoritative towards your friend. The person could even have been being facetious with you. I’m glad the protest was good and you enjoyed parts of being downtown. As for the rest–shake it off and enjoy that seltzer and ovaltine! (is that, like, ovaltine mixed with seltzer? or a thing of ovaltine made with milk with seltzer on the side?)


    • It’s an egg cream! It’s delicious and I love it and I have been addicted for years. Ovaltine (or chocolate syrup) mixed with seltzer and then a little cream. The only other people I know who drink it are old Jewish men. But it’s still delicious.

      On Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:05 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



        • It didn’t make any sense to me until I was talking with my Grandpa and realized that soda used to be a thing, you’d go to a drugstore and get chocolate soda or lemon soda or whatever. This is just the chocolate soda, version with a little milk on top. Anyway, you should try it sometime!

          On Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:22 PM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



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