That isn’t a good description, because it isn’t describable! But I’m having one of those weeks that tend to come in the spring when I keep feeling out of tune with the world and as though something wonderful is almost about to happen but not yet.
See, this is why I don’t like Spring! It gives me this painful strange growing feeling inside, like something is trying to come to life and eat me from the inside out. It’s this feeling (thank you James Russell Lowell for saying it):
And what is so rare as a day in June?
Then, if ever, come perfect days;
Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune,
And over it softly her warm ear lays;
Whether we look, or whether we listen,
We hear life murmur, or see it glisten;
Every clod feels a stir of might,
An instinct within it that reaches and towers,
And, groping blindly above it for light,
Climbs to a soul in grass and flowers;
Now is the high-tide of the year,
And whatever of life hath ebbed away
Comes flooding back with a ripply cheer,
Into every bare inlet and creek and bay;
Now the heart is so full that a drop overfills it,
We are happy now because God wills it;
It’s that “the heart is so full that a drop overfills it” feeling that almost hurts and yet doesn’t, that is so hard to describe. But it finds its way into a lot of the songs of Indian film, somehow. Doesn’t make me feel any more calm on the inside, but does reassure me that I am not alone.
Here’s another one, a classic one. There have been a lot of imitation movies of Dil Chahta Hai, but this is what they are missing, it’s not about a boys weekend and putting off growing up, it’s about that feeling of one magic moment. “Dil Chahta Hai”
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is one of those imitators, and mostly I don’t like it as much, but this song is really perfect for that floating and waiting to come down moment. “Khaabon Ke Parinday”
This is an odd flop movie, and yet this song is all that sunshine and things starting feeling that is so hard to describe. Maybe it shows up in flop movies more than hits because it is so hard to do well? Simple “falling in love” songs and plots are easier. “Rozaana”.
Okay, this is a really REALLY bad movie, a teen slasher film I haven’t even been able to get through, but I love this song. “Sapnay”
Now, here’s a really good movie that has one of those songs, a movie that manages to capture that slice of moments of life for the whole film. “Dubai”
Jab Harry Met Sejal did it too, maybe that is why most people couldn’t appreciate the film. That floaty magical moment in time feeling is too hard to understand, and if you miss it, you don’t get the film. “Hawayein”
It’s a feeling that is expressed in Sufi songs, that floating that brings you closer to God, and the infinite universe. Like in “Kwaja Mere Kwaja”
But the best expression of that feeling, is another love song. But not a love song, a “coming awake after a long bitter lonely winter” song. “Mitwa” from Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.
Okay, now I am going to go back to thinking about rearranging my apartment and other fun springtime activities for when I have too much energy to fill up the world.