Silly Sunday: More Classic Film Remakes! Too Many Girls, My Second Favorite Eddie Bracken Movie! And the Plot Karan Johar Should Have Used for SOTY2

Miracle of Morgan’s Creek is first, obviously. And if I had better taste, it would be Hail the Conquering Hero, but that movie always feels a little too sad to me. Anyway, this movie isn’t sad! This movie is silly and fun and college and delightful, and should absolutely be Karan’s next plot to launch new stars. Hey, it worked in Hollywood! This is the movie that started off the careers of Ann Miller, Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Eddie Bracken, and Van Johnson (he was in the chorus).

You can (and should) watch this whole movie on Amazon, google play, youtube, etc. But just in case you don’t have 90 minutes to spend in pure happiness, let me summarize it.

Our 4 heroes, Desi Arnaz, Eddie Bracken, Richard Carlson, and Al Terwilliger, are star football players. They are hired by a millionaire to be the bodyguards for his college age daughter, so she will have strong quick thinking young men guarding her, but won’t suspect them since they are college age and her fellow students. They get their tuition covered plus a large salary. Only problem is, they aren’t allowed to play football while they are guarding her. And they have to sign a contract that they won’t romance her at all themselves. The school is a totally fun party school, the former uptight top student-athlete heroes love relaxing into it, and of course one of them ends up following in love with the woman they are guarding. The movie ends with them joining the football team and bringing the school to victory, and a big celebration dance number.

the original is set just over the border from Mexico so there is a fun cross-cultural flair. I guess my remake could be in Goa or something?

Now, we should totally remake this as Student of the Year 3!!!!! Flip the script, don’t set it at Saint Teresa’s again, set it at the anti-Saint Teresa’s, a little unnoticed fun school that is always the last in sports, and academics. It used to be all female and still has 10 female students to every boy. The girls sell it to their parents as “safe” and “female”, but really it is just a big party school, the girls all flirt outrageously with the few available boys, everyone sleeps through classes and looks forward to the social events. Basically, it’s the school from Main Hoon Na, but more so.

Our heroes are high achievers from Saint Teresa’s. They are star athletes and decent students. But they are going to their fancy schools on athletic scholarships and so need to work at the snack house to make spending money. Meanwhile, a millionaire father and his spoiled daughter are touring the schools. She has just run away from her overseas school and her bodyguards, he is going to put her in a local Indian school but is worried about her safety, especially when she declares she doesn’t want to go to these fancy schools, she wants to go to the fun little anti-Saint Teresa. But he has a brainwave, he hires the 2 boys working at the cafe to be her new bodyguards once he learns that the star athletes he met on the school tour are also struggling to afford getting through college. He guarantees them a job in his company after graduation, plus a nice salary while going through school, and he will pay their tuition. All they have to do is agree not to play sports (so they can focus on their job) and not to talk to his daughter so she won’t have a chance to figure out they are really bodyguards.

Bodyguard!

The 3 leads (keeping the SOTY tradition, instead of the 5 leads in the original) land up at the not-Teresa school and try to adjust. The heroine slips right in, thrilled to be able to just have fun and be casual, instead of always perfect and pretty and rich. She goes off to meet her secret lover and is out of synch with him already, she isn’t interested in the French movies and fancy books he talks about, she wants to talk about the gossip from the dorms. And she doesn’t like that he judges her for wearing jeans and a t-shirt instead of the fancy designer clothes she used to wear.

Hero A is stressed, he takes school very seriously and he doesn’t like the casual way classes are treated here. Hero B is thrilled, he’s been working his whole life and now he can just relax and enjoy with no coaches or parents to yell at him. Hero B is the first to be noticed by the heroine, she sees him casually hanging out by the sports fields, flirting with everyone, and notices that he catches a cricket ball perfectly. She challenges him and tricks him and he ends up playing on the team because he doesn’t believe in always following the rules. Hero A is more and more stressed and fights with Hero B. The heroine starts talking to him too, trying to get him to lay off Hero B and convince him to loosen up and break the rules too. She sneaks off campus and he has to follow her (because of the bodyguard job). She takes advantage of that, knowing he is following, and goes to a dangerous bar in town. She does a dance number, he joins in to try to save her from the crowd, then ends up getting into a fight anyway. Big fight scene, mostly him but a little her, and finally they both escape. But they have to spend the night hiding from the crowd following them before they can sneak back on campus. They end up bonding and realizing they have more in common than they think. They have both spent their lives uptight and trying to be perfect, and while she embraced this loose atmosphere, he is scared of it. She convinces him to let himself relax and enjoy the moment a little, to just do what feels right, and he kisses her.

Very much like Kapoor & Sons, with the first romance that never really gets started, and then the second that just flows up naturally and surprisingly

But what of Hero B? He is finally trying, just for himself, for the first time in his life. He is trying on the sports field and he is even trying in class a little too. The heroine inspired him by making him believe he can reinvent himself. He dreams of her and comes up with a 5 year plan, finish out the bodyguard job, graduate, take the job at her father’s company, and then First Date. But when he catches Hero A kissing the heroine, he is heartbroken and shocked. So shocked that he considers telling on Hero A, his Best Friend, to the heroine’s father. He changes his mind at the last minute, but unfortunately someone else finds his letter and mails it, trying to be helpful. Hero A is fired and told never to see the heroine again, and he blames Hero B for everything. INTERVAL

In the second half, Hero A has made his way back to the original Saint Teresa’s school because his grades are still good and he never officially played for any other school in the league, so he still qualifies for his scholarship. Meanwhile Hero B has gotten a scholarship on his own merits at the new school is trying harder than ever before and has become an amazing player, and an inspiration to his teammates, they are heading for the championship where they will go head to head with Hero A and his team. Meanwhile, Heroine has learned the truth about Hero A and reacted by running back to Hero B. Only, as Hero B becomes more and more driven, she feels herself slipping into old patterns, focusing too much on being “perfect” instead of just having fun. And she starts to feel like Hero B doesn’t really want her for her but just as some kind of trophy.

Very similar to how Alia and Varun discover they aren’t compatible!

There is a series of games for the championship, the first hosted at not-Saint Teresa’s, the second hosted at Saint Teresa’s, and then the third on the grounds of the winning school. Each school also has to host a social event to welcome the opposing team. The first social event is organized by Hero B, a black tie event with a 70s theme, proving that not-Saint Teresa’s can be fun and funky and also just as classy and fancy as Saint Teresa’s at the same time. It is Hero B’s night of triumph and the heroine realizes that she is just one more symbol of status for him. She breaks up with him right before the big game. He wins anyway and thanks her afterwards, for breaking up with him before the game instead of after, so he knows he did it all on his own. She was right, he was putting to much on her and not enough on himself. Can they try again as friends?

Second series hosted at Saint Teresa’s, Hero A suggests that they try to show that they can have fun too. They host a paintball tournament for their social event. Hero A and the heroine end up in a duel, tracking each other and trying to shoot each other. Along they way they start talking too, Hero A explains he never meant to hurt her, he just fell in love with her. And Heroine admits that she only feels like she was ever herself with him. Maybe someday, after they graduate and it is all over, they can try again. Hero A goes into the game thinking about their conversation and is distracted and loses.

Third game, back at not-Saint Teresa’s. The social event is a grand ball, Hero A and the heroine have a super romantic dance with lots of longing looks, and the heroine’s father shows up to surprise her and witnesses this. Before the Big Game, the heroine’s father has a heart to heart with her about how he has been trying to protect her from having her heart broken, but after seeing the way Hero A looks at her, he knows he will never break her heart. She has his blessing if she wants to start a relationship with Hero A now, before she comes of age.

Big romantic dance like this

After that convo, Hero B seeks her out too. He just spoke to Hero A and confirmed that Hero A lost the last game because he was distracted by the heroine. Hero A truly loves her more than himself and his own goals. Plus, Hero B wants to win fair and square, not just because Hero A is distracted. So for the sake of their friendship and Hero A’s own happiness, can she reunite him before the Big Game? Heroine let’s herself be convinced, runs and runs, grabs Hero A and kisses him and tells him to go out there and win.

The two teams and the two heroes face off. Everyone is cheering in the stands. And at the last minute, Hero A is beaten by Hero B. Hero B is just slightly better than him. The two friends shake hands, Heroine runs out onto the field to join them both, they all link arms and run off the field, FREEZE FRAME. Happy Ending.

Bam! There you go Karan, you can thank me any time. And send me a check.

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4 thoughts on “Silly Sunday: More Classic Film Remakes! Too Many Girls, My Second Favorite Eddie Bracken Movie! And the Plot Karan Johar Should Have Used for SOTY2

  1. Morgan’s Creek: Is that the one where Eddie Braken, a soldier, gets Betty Hutton preggers but neither can remember how it happened (nor can I at this moment) and she has this “miracle” baby. I never understood the premise of that film and it’s been a while since I’ve seen it, so I may have the whole thing wrong. But anyway, the plot would never translate to Bolly, Tolly, Kollywood, etc. No self-respecting Indian fan would believe it.

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    • Miracle of Morgan’s Creek is so clever! Because they manage to create this situation without the heroine technically doing anything wrong. She goes to a dance and hits her head which makes her act drunk (but she isn’t actually drunk, because she is a good girl who wouldn’t drink). She is dancing with a whole crowd of soldiers who are shipping out the next day, and at some point someone says “hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we got married?” So she gets married, under an assumed name, and the next morning only has vague memories of it all. And then two months later finds out she is pregnant. So, technically, she is a good girl who only had sex after marriage. Only because of the head injury and all, she can’t remember who she married. And Eddie Bracken is the nice boy from down the block who loves her and is ready to marry her anyway, but she won’t marry him and make him raise a baby that isn’t his, so instead they try all kinds of schemes to figure out who the father is or at least get her a marriage license. The simpler version of the story would be a good time girl who can’t remember which of her many boyfriends got her pregnant, but they bent over backward to make it a respectable plot.

      We could absolutely remake it in India as a slightly risque comedy! A somewhat wild college girl who gets all excited when, say, the Indian Cricket Team’s training team is staying at her father’s hotel. She goes off with them but doesn’t get drunk, just hits her head, and somehow they decide for “good luck” one of them should marry her. And then two months later she finds out she is pregnant and she and the boring desk clerk who has a crush on her have to figure out what to do. The Eddie Bracken part would be perfect for Rajkummar or Ayushmann, and our peppy heroine could easily be Illeana or Taapsee or Parineeti.

      On Sun, Apr 14, 2019 at 12:52 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • It all comes back. I remember thinking when I watched it, “This is so silly.” But I kept it on, probably while I did other stuff, which is why it all slipped thru my brain. The writers sure fit the plot into Hayes Office restrictions, and I guess it makes a kind of weird sense. But still, not my favorite. As an Indian flick, possibly yes. It would have real romance; unrequited love that gets fulfilled in the end. Illeana or Taapsee or Parinetti could secretly be in love with the hotel clerk (Varun or Dhanush in a suit and tie) who’s not boring at all but engaged to a viper or somebody his parents need him to marry to further their ambitions. After Illeana hits her head, she stumbles back to the hotel and good guy Varun, thinking she’s drunk, takes her to his room and puts her to bed so nobody will find out. In the morning, she vaguely remembers getting married and thinks it was to him. She is overjoyed but he sets her straight and, when she comes up preg, they go in search of the cricketeer, a sneeringly dismissive Aditya Roy Kapur. He tells Varun it was all a joke; there was no wedding. They fight. Varun gets knocked out and when he comes to, he’s forgotten he’s supposed to marry somebody he doesn’t love, and marries Illeana whom he now does love, in a quickie, private civil ceremony. The loose ends? Well, the newlyweds have to convince his parents that they care more about their son than $$, and somehow they have placate the jilted fiancee by getting her married to, ta-dah, Aditya! And…um…ah…It turns out the rabbit didn’t die after all and everybody is happy at the big closing double wedding scene.
        I can see why you do these things. They’re fun.

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        • It’s super fun! You can tell any story you want, with any cast you want, without having to worry about the realities of budgets and scheduling and so on.

          On Mon, Apr 15, 2019 at 7:33 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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