Discussion Post: Build the Perfect Movie! What Ingredients Would You Include?

This question comes to you from my sister’s subconscious. She had a weird dream which involved a blog discussion of this question. She said it was a really good discussion (in her dream). Let’s see if we can make a (really really boring) dream come true!

Okay, you are all powerful and you are building the ultimate movie. What would you include?

Here’s my list:

Hrithik Dance Number

SRK-Kajol love scene

Madhuri Dance Number

Plot that involves separated twins (like separated brothers but better!)

Love triangle (with or without the twins involved)

A dramatic mother-son confrontation

At least one Tight Slap

Pran

How about you?

28 thoughts on “Discussion Post: Build the Perfect Movie! What Ingredients Would You Include?

  1. I also want a dramatic introduction of the hero and an elaborate song where all the characters interact while singing lyrics with hidden meanings. And Amitabh is there for one pivotal scene where he changes the whole course of events by inspiring the lead with a single conversation.

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  2. My movie:
    -plot about a smart girl who learn classical dancing / or music but parents are against it and prepare her wedding with some bad guy. She meets Unni Mukundan (of course πŸ˜‰ ) who shares her passion, they fall in love but can’t be together. A looooooooooooot of secret gazes, and than, after dramatic, over the top family scene and ridiculous fight, happy ending.
    – many good songs with drums
    -ridiculousy colorful costumes
    – not very big budget

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  3. Ooh fun!

    Movie 1:
    –Shah Rukh, Juhi, Ranbir, and Vidya as an ensemble cast in a Hitchcockian thriller. All have character arcs, clever dialogue, and unclear motivations (even to themselves!)
    –Movie is not artificially cut to the newly mandated 2.5 hours, but is not padded out with indulgent junk either. 3+ hours is fine if earned.
    –great score and songs with a reliance on traditional instruments and great lyrics–sad, silly, sexy, explicating one or more characters’ thoughts or predicaments, moving the plot forward, a nice mix. No autotune! No sampling!
    –mistaken identity embroiling Shah Rukh and Juhi in international intrigue, spycraft, a plot to destroy the world, whatever–mix of Indian and non-Indian locations
    –Vidya and Ranbir either as characters existing already in the international intrigue world, or friends/family of Shah Rukh and Juhi whom they enlist to foil the plot or whatever. One could be one type and one the other. V and R do not have to be romantically involved, but they could be!

    Movie 2: a light and funny, action packed but moving, Bunty aur Babli sequel with Sara Ali Khan and the little boy from Dhanak playing Abhishek’s and Rani’s children who are going into the family business of grifting and/or fighting crime. Abhi and Rani could take a little bit of a backseat in the plot–smaller roles but crucial. Lots of Amitabh as honorary granddad and overall strategist, and cameos from any star kids who want to appear as friends or school mates of the kids. Kajol playing against type a la Dilwale in an extended guest appearance as the family’s main foil. A mature love story between Amitabh and Kirron Kher which is distracting him from managing Bunty/Babli/the kids’ latest caper. Are Kirron and Kajol in cahoots? Who knows?

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    • I love both of these ideas! Why hasn’t Spy Kids been remade in India yet????

      Also. Notorious. Not the weird depressing Raazi version, but a fun sexy one.

      On Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 1:22 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 1 person

  4. – 20 stars of varying ages (i.e. Taimur – Waheeda Rahman)
    – Sooraj Barjatya directs them in a big budget family drama
    – Reema-Zoya write the script and dialogues with kick-ass female characters
    – SLB composes music and directs the songs
    – Madhuri and Hritikh dance together (P.S. Hritikh doesn’t wear a shirt…oh actually he is shirtless the entire movie…because why not?!)
    – Someone is reincarnated
    – There is also a shape-shifting snake-woman (maybe Konkana can play this?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • The perfect film! Mostly because of the shape shifting snake woman, you are so right, that needs to be in every film.

      Can I add on a mysterious old gypsy who has magical medical abilities?

      On Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 7:35 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  5. This is a great idea!
    —historical but not too historical. Say, 1900-1930
    —does NOT include/discuss Partition
    —lots of pretty sarees
    —-men who look good in traditional clothing. Arjun R. a must here, others as needed
    —-two people are secretly in love but can only confirm with glances
    —-Longing glances are accompanied by Arijit Singh
    —Big women-only dance number
    —-Zohra Sehgal gives young people a wise talk
    —-young woman moves out on her own
    —–makeover of either woman or new apartment, set to music
    —-cameo from Prabhudeva

    I don’t think all of those elements will fit together unless it’s a reincarnation plot, so I’ll throw that in as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can absolutely write this movie for you.

      In 1900-1930, Sonakshi Sinha is the new young wife of Arjun Rampal, a widower. She arrives at his hawali and he tells her that he still loves his dead wife and they will have a marriage in name only. He spends the rest of the movie wearing glasses and period costumes for our viewing pleasure. Ranveer appears as Arjun’s young cousin-brother, come to study in the city. He sees Sonakshi drying her hair in the garden, and falls in love. But of course he cannot speak his love, because it would be Wrong. Sonakshi finds a poem he wrote about her while cleaning out his room and falls in love back. Their romance moves forward through longing glances, sighs, and slight token’s of affection like a red rose, a new hair clip, etc. Zohra Segal, the ancient grandmother of the family, arrives to stay in the Hawali. She quickly sees all that is happening, that Arjun R ignores his young wife and Ranveer and Sonakshi are in love. She calls Sonakshi to her room and Sonakshi is surprised to see Ranveer there as well. Zohra explains that she is too old to care about appearances, only happiness. Arjun R. only remarried because his father demanded it on his deathbed. Ranveer is planning to go overseas to London, Sonakshi should go with him. Zohra will arrange things, Arjun R. will tell everyone she is dead, there will be no scandal, Sonakshi and Ranveer can start fresh. Sonakshi refuses, feeling her marriage vows cannot be broken. Sad song, as Ranveer prepares to leave and Sonakshi attempts to hide her feelings so he will not feel pity for her. She goes to his room after he leaves for the station and sobs on his bed, then finds one final red rose and a poem he wrote her. It is too much, she gives in to her feelings, runs out of the house (the first time in the film she has left the house) and suddenly we are in the crowded streets of Calcutta. Metaphorically, she is breaking free of the trap that women live within. She runs and runs through the crowds, finds her way to the station just in time to see the train leaving. She is too late. She falls down on the platform, miserable, a crowd gathers, a voice says “I am a doctor, can I help?” It is Ranveer! (he is going to London for more medical training, earlier there was a super sexy scene where he checked her pulse and listened to her heart because Arjun asked him to when she had a slight fever) Something told him to get off the train, he couldn’t say what it was, just a feeling. They are united and leave together for London.

      And then, Present Day!!!! Which I will write in another comment in a minute.

      On Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 10:58 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 1 person

    • Second half of film!

      We open on Sonakshi and Ranveer. Only, things are slightly off, their language is too casual, Ranveer has grey in his hair, and they are fighting about her career plans. And then the camera pulls back outside the window to reveal Modern London. This is 100 years later, Ranveer and Sonakshi are father and daughter, descendants of the original Ranveer and Sonakshi. Sonakshi grew up in London as did her father before her and his father before him and on and on. The family has never returned to Calcutta, that was a vow the original Sonakshi-Ranveer took. But they have married people from India, Sonakshi grew up hearing her mother’s stories (let’s say Rani plays her mother) about growing up in Calcutta and going to school there before she came to London for her medical training and met Sonakshi’s father. Sonakshi has quit her job at the ad agency and has enough savings to get by for 6 months in India, she wants to try writing a novel based on their love story, but she needs to go to Calcutta to research it. She goes out clubbing after her angry fight with her father and sings a fun club remix song that calls back to a classical folk song Sonakshi 1 sang in the first half, about dreams and flying free and stuff, and Prabhudeva surprisingly shows up to dance it with her. And then she decides to go against her parents’ wishes and go to Calcutta anyway. In Calcutta, she struggles with the language and finding an apartment and everything, but starts to blossom once she makes her apartment over (Make over song!). Feeling more confident, she goes hunting for the old Hawali she has only seen in pictures, driving through the old part of town looking for it. She finally finds it and sneaks into the garden only to be surprised by…..ARJUN RAMPAL!!!!!! He is middle-aged and divorced, part of the Calcutta artistic and literary scene. He is also Arjun 1’s great great great great grandson, descendant of the little boy that Sonakshi 1 used to play with. After his divorce, he moved in with his elderly aunt (Zohra Segal, again) in the family mansion. He is sad and dignified and mature, and he intrigues Sonakshi. She gets him to give her a tour of the house, and then teases him into going out clubbing with her where he surprises her by taking off his glasses and pulling her into a sexy song. She is falling more and more in love, and starts fantasizing while writing her novel that she is Sonakshi 1 and Arjun is her husband and she draws him out of his grief and brings him to life. She finally admits her feelings to Arjun, and he rejects her, because he is Damaged Goods, too old and too divorced and too Indian for this bright young beautiful London girl. Sonakshi is heartbroken but tough, goes back to being “just friends” and continues her Calcutta research. Culminating in joining in the big traditional Durga dance number (the same one that Sonakshi 1 danced in the first half) which her mother taught her. Arjun, in traditional clothes, watches her dance and is overcome, realizes maybe she will fit in his world after all. He talks it over with Zohra Segal who encourages him, and also tells him he doesn’t have much time because Sonakshi is leaving on a plane the next morning. He rushes to the airport, runs and runs, gets out of breath (because OLD), but keeps going, finally gets to her gate just as the doors clothes. And, inspired by the past story, falls down and fakes a heart attack, and tells the airport security that his “fiancee” is on the plane, if they can just get her to come help him. Sonakshi rushes out, learns she is his “fiancee” and sees his little wink and understands everything. They kiss. Fastforward to the old Hawali all alive and happy again for their wedding, Ranveer 2 and Rani have arrived from London, Arjun’s two little girls from his first marriage (Sonakshi previously met and charmed them) are running around, and in the background Ghost Ranveer and Ghost Sonakshi and Ghost Arjun are looking down and smiling.

      On Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 10:58 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      Liked by 1 person

        • Might be worth it even if the cast is Ranbir-Shahrukh. Or Varun-Akshay. Or Siddharth-Ajay.

          On Wed, Apr 24, 2019 at 2:00 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I love this! I love when Ranveer plays against type, and it would be interesting to see him opposite Rani. I didn’t put “romantic old havali” in my list but that is totally one of the things in my perfect film. And, yeah, I could totally stand to see Sonakshi be romanced by both Ranveer and Arjun in the same movie. It could be four hours long and I wouldn’t care.

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          • Are we happy with Sonakshi as the lead? I picked her because she has such an old-fashioned look, but there could be someone better.

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  6. Raazi? Is that the one with Jackky Bhagnani? No; that’s Rangrez, right? And what’s the deal with him anyway? Face reminds me of poor Uday Chopra, body like Tiger’s times two. He can act, sort of; dance a little. Why isn’t he working more?

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    • Raazi is the movie Alia just won a FilmFare for, based on a true story spy film. But also kind of Notorious!

      Jacky Bhagnani is my example for the limits of nepotism. His father is a rich producer and keeps making movies for him, and yet he never gets a chance in films from any other producer, and the audience doesn’t like him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he and his father just have terrible personalities too, and that’s why the film industry avoids them.

      On Wed, Apr 24, 2019 at 7:05 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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