It’s gonna be another crazy day at work, I can feel it! I haven’t even had a chance to make coffee yet, and my hair is only half brushed. So this is going to be a very short and superficial post.
Good Newwz First Look
So, it is what we thought it would be, two couples dealing with pregnancy. But I’m not thrilled by the “wacky comedy” tone of the poster, I was hoping more for “gentle touching comedy about infertility”. My best guess, the sperm gets mixed up and the wrong wife is carrying the husband’s baby. Ha Ha.
Also, I can’t be the only one who has a feeling of “doom DOOM” when it is clear that the title of the film follows numerology, right?
Mardaani 2 Trailer
So, this time Rani’s going after icky rapists? That’s cool I guess, I just wish she had more variation in her performance. Is that gendered? Should I feel bad because I don’t require variation when it is a male hero cop? Or do I actually always want performance variation? Or is it that Rani’s affect (at least in the trailer) is even less than, say, Ajay in Singham Returns? Oh, and they are sticking with the “older woman bringing boyish evil to justice” vibe from the original, I kind of like that.
And finally, after several weeks, Albie Dog is beginning to make his peace with Cardboard Shahrukh.
dontcallitbollywood 
No! It can’t be that we have to tolerate a movie with Akshay in some bizarre roll with his plastic surgery face and capped teeth as a new dad. Why is the universe trying to hurt us!? The only thing that could make this worse if is if Ranbir was the other dad so I guess I’m grateful for something.
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I was so excited when this first announced! I thought it would be a Kapoor & Sons style family drama with two couples going through fertility treatments, ideally Kiara acting as Akshay and Kareena’s surrogate and Diljit being her love interest. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Kiara trying to avoid Diljit because she’s pregnant, Akshay and Kareena figuring out what is going on and helping the young couple get together, Kiara giving birth to Akshay and Kareena’s baby in the middle of her Diljit wedding?
But no, the sperm will be mixed up and apparently Akshay and Kareena’s advanced ages won’t even be addressed. Also, how bad does it have to be if they added both a “z” and an extra “w” for good luck?
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 10:18 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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That would have been amazing!
Added Z and extra W means double trouble. Even Bad News Bears had the good sense to keep the words spelled correctly. And they could have easily gotten away with ‘Newz’ in a kid-centered film.
I can’t believe people panned JHMS (I just recommended it to a friend and in searching tomatoes saw 10%!?!?!) but they’ll take this junk. Ugh.
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I just can’t get over it when movie stars change their name spelling (“Devgn” “Viviek”). It irritates the heck out of people who have to write about you, it cuts down on your name recognition, and worst of all it is an announcement to the world “I am so desperate for a hit that I am even willing to change my name”. And as punishment for all this wrongness, I will forever spell their names the dumb way. Take that “Viv-i-ek” Oboroi! And Ajay “Dev-gah-nah”!
See also, “Heyyyyyy Babbbbyyyy” and “Krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrish”.
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 10:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Hahahahaha
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The reason that this suggested storyline wouldn’t work in the Indian context is that many surrogates come from an underprivileged background and do it solely for the money. Unfortunately the scene in Indian film today is such that no one wants to make/ see movies about the downtrodden or even the middle class.
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I don’t know if people don’t want to see middle class movies, based on the runaway hits that Ayushmann is cranking out. That’s the kind of film I was picturing, a middle-class girl who hit a roadblock and suddenly needed money.
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I was already angry when I saw this poster for all the reasons you mentioned, including the stoopidly annoying name change. ☺️. But now after reading what you hoped it would be, I’m more angry! And this really sucks because this film will likely be playing in my home town when I am there for Christmas and I really wanted to take my dad to see an Indian movie in the theaters near him. Now I can’t!
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Do you think there is any chance this is a bait and switch? It’s actually a realistic relationship drama dressed up like something stupid?
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 1:14 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Oh I so so so hope so! But, I don’t think it is because Akshay does either really really stoopid (I am going to keep spelling stoopid with two Os because I am soo annoyed) comedy or really heavy patriotic dramas. I would LOVE to be wrong.
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Yes, but, flipside! Kareena and Diljit and Kiara tend to only do interesting high quality stuff.
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 1:59 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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They do. Expect I would have said the same about Vidya, Taapsee, Nithya, and Kirti and ya know. . . Mission Mangal happaned!
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It’s true, the force of Mansplaining is strong within him.
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 2:19 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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It looks like a literal nightmare.
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I’m not even going to deal with the stupid baby movie, Akshay’s creepy plastic surgery face is giving me PTSD at this point.
Rani giving tough taciturn face is fine by me but that movie looks waaaaaaaay too graphic for me. Nopity nope to that one.
I’m so sad that all the upcoming movies look terrible, sob.
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There’s also the Cricket movie ’83. We are all excited about watching guys in bad wigs running around chasing balls, right?
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 1:45 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I don’t want to watch a movie about rape but I do want to watch Rani shoot people for three hours, so that is a problem. Why can’t she enter the Gggooddd Nnnnewwwzzz movie and shoot all the men in that? Why is every single stupid thing I think up in seconds 3 billion times better than anything we actually get????
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Come to think of it, why are the Mardaani movies about evil bratty spoiled little boys instead of about evil bratty spoiled old men? Have a crossover with Mission Mangal, let Vidya’s sister Rani come to work with her and shoot Akshay the next time he starts a patronizing speech!
On Thu, Nov 14, 2019 at 3:16 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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That would be amazing. I’d help bankroll a satire of issue films where all the helpy men get shot in the face by women.
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I don’t care about none of those movies but just read that
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…Anurag Basu’s next film will have Abhishek Bachchan, Aditya Roy Kapur, Rajkummar Rao, Fatima Sana Shaikh, Sanya Malhotra and Pankaj Tripathi and I’m so excited. Finally a movie with good cast from top to bottom.
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Yes, the only question left is which actor will be swooniest.
On Fri, Nov 15, 2019 at 2:56 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I saw this and got so excited about the cast. I just really hope it is not too depressing.
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Oh! I bet this is his “Life in a Metro” follow up! With that cast, I can see a series of interconnected stories.
On Fri, Nov 15, 2019 at 11:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Very good point. Then I really really hope ARK’s character is swooney!
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I swear I didn’t send 2 comments to cheat and win the card 😉 I hate write comments on my phone.
My bet is on ARK being the swooniest, but I would be very happy to see Pankaj being romantic and sexy too.
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Wouldn’t it be great of ARK is a boring office working and Rajkummar is the swoony bad boy with Pankaj as his mentor?
On Fri, Nov 15, 2019 at 12:49 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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It would be awesome but I’m afraid of imagining the plots because the real plots turn out to be a lot inferior later (like in Good News)
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Please, “Newwz”
On Fri, Nov 15, 2019 at 2:05 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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LOL there are already too many errors in my comments, I refuse to add others
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So now that I’ve seen the trailer for Goooodddddd Newwwwwssss I’m still confused as to whether there will be any heart to it at all. I saw some tears…so maybe. But are those SPERM on the poster above the guys’ heads?!?!?!?!?!?
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Why did you put that in my head?!?!?! I thought it was just confusion lines, and now all I can see is sperm.
On Mon, Nov 18, 2019 at 2:10 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I’m sorry!!!!! But the confusion lines have heads and are squiggly. Boo
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Lisa’s not as bad as one of the other posters that Akshay posted on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B4_Wv0ynqYl/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_mid=B82A90A5-B9B8-4F11-9667-657AEE951032
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GAH! I don’t want to see that!!!!
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That one is bananas. Ugh.
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