Happy Wednesday! I hate post-holiday weeks, it’s so much harder to get motivated to go in to work every day, plus there is so much more work because we had a holiday the week before. Anyway, Wednesday! Just today, and Thursday, and Friday, and then I am FREE. For two days.
I’ll start!
Reading: I forgot about this fascinating Ranveer interview until I looked it up for my Ranveer post. I know it’s behind a paywall, but if you are interested in Ranveer, it’s worth it: https://caravanmagazine.in/reportage/fast-forward-ranveer-singh
And in lighter news, I added the new authorized Sridevi bio to my Christmas list. I expect it to be very bland (authorized=boring), but at least it will give me the official version that I can then dismiss:
Watching: For another film meetup (Margaret Must Get Out in the Winter), I am now watching Ingmar Bergman films. Good for me as a film scholar, boring for me as a person. My big take away is that K. Balachander was actually better at using black and white and so on than Bergman. And that Mohammed Khalid’s version of Autumn Sonata is better than Bergman’s.
Thinking: Look at the beautiful necklace I bought at the hardware store check out counter yesterday! The subtlety is what I love about it.
Listening: Thanks to Autumn Sonata, I am now thinking about how good the Tehzeeb soundtrack was.
Now, question for you! I was gonna do a hard one, but then I decided it is too cold and dark out for a hard question. So, fun one! I just did 101s on 3 young actors, Shahid and Ranveer and Arjun. Between Shahid, Ranveer, and Arjun, based on the information you just learned Marry, Sex, or Punch?
For me, sex Shahid (he’s a dancer, which seems relevant), Punch Ranveer (I think it might be good for him), and marry Arjun (the best person of the bunch, and Ranveer says he is “hung like a haathi”, so that seems okay too).
dontcallitbollywood 
So easy! Marry Arjun (love him enough to tolerate Sonam as my cousin-in-law), sex Ranveer and of course punch Shahid (he has such punchable face)
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I don’t know, I think I would be a little afraid to sex Ranveer. Unless I made him do the whole thing in character as his Lootera role.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 8:16 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Absolutely, the only answer!
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All of this people rushing to sex Ranveer, you are braver than I am.
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Well, he likes stupid clothes, I can’t ignore that.
Are you really not going to review Panipat? I was counting on you. I need to know if it’s worth it for Arjun, because I would sacrifice my dignity and see it for him if necessary.
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I just committed to Pati Patni Aur Woh tomorrow night, but Panipat is getting not-awful reviews, so I may force myself to see it on Saturday.
On Thu, Dec 5, 2019 at 2:07 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I just know I’m going to hate Panipat, but if I can just bliss out and stare at Arjun’s face the whole time it might be bearable.
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Have you had a chance to watch sye raa yet?
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I’m in the middle of it! The history is ridiculous (I’m playing the game of trying to guess what the year is, then I will look it up after the movie. I know it’s 19th century but the India it portrays is more like 16th century), but I am LOVING the clothes, the jewels, and Chiru’s faaaabulous wigs. I’m finding every character except the dancing girl and the panther villain very badly drawn though and that’s slowing down my watching.
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By “panther villain”, do you mean the villains pet panther, or the villain who has a pet panther?
Anyway, the last ten minutes of the movie are AMAZING and I have already shown them to three different people. So keep going for that. And I will promise you that, unto death itself, Chiru continues to wear his jewelry.
On Thu, Dec 5, 2019 at 9:18 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I meant the guy, but really he and the panther are basically the same I guess.
I’m looking forward to the heavily bejewlled end, then!
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And I just posted my Ranbir Kapoor take down! Which is deep and epic and no one is reading it and now I am depressed. Go read it!
On Thu, Dec 5, 2019 at 2:45 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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loool I’ll take any chance to go in, but honestly I’ve barely watched him in anything because I really cannot stand him so I don’t know if I can say much.
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Marry Arjun, sex Ranveer (I’m going to assume in the bedroom his persona gets put away and he’s not swinging from the ceiling) and punch Shahid (I’ve been reading about inconsistencies in the stories he and his wife tell about when they met and she was probably 16 years old when they first connected, yuck).
I’m so busy this week! I have two big work contracts converging at the same time which is good for my wallet and terrible for my movie viewing. I want to watch Dostana but probably won’t get to it until next week.
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Dostana is so fun! And stoooooopid. You may be able to watch it while working.
Huh, another vote for sex Ranveer instead of Shahid. Maybe I am missing something? But I am glad we all decided to marry Arjun. I feel like if he was presented with 3 wives, he would just straighten his back and say “okay, fine, I guess I am doing this now”.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 10:31 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Reading: Elizabeth George “The Punishment she deserves” and political stuff about Kashimir and the Indian goernment ( https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/12/09/blood-and-soil-in-narendra-modis-india# ).
Thinking: about how to make the kids happy
Listening: audio crime books while ironing clothes
Watching: actually nothing new
As I’m only marginally interested in Arjun, Shahid and Ranveer I don’t ponder about marry, sex and punching 😉 (honestly, I’m happy with the choices I have in real life 😀 )
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First, no politics! So I hope people will click the link you posted, but this is not the place to discuss it.
Second, with your kids, what is your Christmas policy? Do you make Christmas a wonderful surprise, or do you get them involved with the process of decorating and picking out gifts and stuff? When I was a kid, I loved celebrating Christmas all month, but when my parents were kids it was more of a “wake up Christmas morning and there is magically a tree” experience.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 11:37 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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No interest in discussing politics but interested in reading well researched stuff to better understand and/or to get a kind of affirmation of what I think about certain things.
Christmas…it’s building up from 1st of December on in the family with Advent Calendars, baking cookies and making Gingerbread Houses, singing and playing Christmas songs in the weeks preceeding Christmas, going all with the forest ranger sawing our Christmas trees, adorning them the day before Christmas. As for the gifts, the kids write their wishes in a letter for Santa Claus and it will be a surprise what they get under the diverse trees (extended family, so they get gifts on Christmas Eve, Christmas and the day after Christmas). At the celebrations we sing, make music, read stories, make little plays…basically, it’s for and with the kids…we don’t do gifts for the adults, but enjoy the gathering during the meals.
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Your Christmas sounds so nice! And in many ways the opposite of mine, which is all adult focused! My parents are singing in the Christmas Eve service at church, and then we are going to go out for a nice dinner on Christmas Eve, open presents the next morning, and then go see a play with my Aunt and Cousin the next day.
On Thu, Dec 5, 2019 at 1:59 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I saw 2 movies this week.
First I finished Lucifer I had started months ago. I’m really surprised because I liked it. Yes, three-quarters of the movie can be seen on fast forward because it’s or fights or Mohanlal walking in slow motion (really I have never seen a movie with so much slow motion), but the rest is very good. Especially the scene when Manju Warrier hears the truth about her husband. She was terrific. In just one scene she came from disbelief and anger to tears and guilt. I never thought I will say that but Vivek Oberoi was very good also. Perfect villain, I had goosebumbs in some of his scenes and wanted his character dead at any cost.
Oh and Tovino’s character has white girlfriend. I wonder what they will do with her in the second part. I bet, he will become evil and will cheat on her.
The other movie I saw was Rang Rasiya, and it was soooooo boring. I really didn’t expect a masterpiece, but thought there will be a lot of beautiful visuals, colours and yes, I admit, good sexy scenes. But in the middle I realized I was watching a censored version! I had to watch the sexy scenes on youtube later and now I will mention Kahe Sataye video everytime you will ask about luscious songs/scenes. So sexy!
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You know your username came through weird on this (“ngie”), but by the time I got to Tovino cheating on his white girlfriend, I thought “aha! This must be Angie!”
I think I may continue to skip Lucifer because I have a low tolerance for Mohanlal in slow motion.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 12:08 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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LOL I was sending the comment in a hurry because my son was nagging me to come and play with him and I haven’t seen the error.
For Lucifer – it’s perfect watch when you are busy doing chores or writing something. It’s 2 and half hour long but there is not much plot. Only politicians making noise and being evil, some guys fighting, Mohanlal being fearless in slow motion and tons of christian references (Prithviraj must be a very religious person in my opinion: Lucifer, Ezra,Adam Joan, James and Alice…)
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I love it when their are Christian references, because it is so much easier for me to follow than when there are Hindu references.
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Me too! And I love to see people being religious in movies, going to church on Sunday, praying etc It’s impossible to find scenes like this in western movies. If somebody is Christian, he will be shown sad, strict or hypocrite. Happy Christians don’t exist in movies, only pathology.
I don’t have words how much I enjoyed the church scenes in Joseph. There is even a song about praising Jesus, and I cry everytime I listen to it.
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I feel like in Western films, with Christianity being the norm, it’s only a plot point of the character is somehow extreme. Just normal every day joyful Christianity isn’t worth showing. But in Malayalam films there is this great balance where Christianity is every day but still slightly special and we get these great scenes of folks just going to church as part of life.
Also, have you seen Amen yet? Cuddly Indrajith playing a nice priest?
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 3:35 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I have a Hindi Film 101 request if you dare: how religious minorities like Sikhs and Christians are treated in Hindi film. The stereotypes are weirdly similar: loud, crass, love to party and in the case of Christians a love of drinking. Also very exaggerated representations of the faith, like HUGE turbans for Sikhs and HUGE crosses for Christians.
I don’t know if you want to touch on Muslims who are also technically religious minorities but they ruled the subcontinent for 300 years and have had a ginormous influence on the language and culture.
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Don’t forget Parsi/Zoroastrians! Who also have strangely similar stereotypes.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 2:12 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I LOVE your Chirstmas necklace. I bought a Christmas necklace that jinggles everytime I move. I am sure my coworkers are going to love me.
Marry Ranveer (I love him with Deepika). I don’t really want to have sex with Arjun but I would be friends with him and we can cuddle. Definitely punch Shahid! Maybe even punch him a few times just to be sure. He was way to many gross red flags for me.
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I have to dig out the dog collar I bought last year that jingles whenever the dog moves. I am sure Albie Dog would love it, as will all those around him.
One big advantage to marrying Ranveer, apparently you get a gorgeous wedding on Lake Como.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 4:19 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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And I kind of love Deepika so I don’t mind being a second wife and having her in my life too! I am sure she’d be fine sharing Ranveer, right? Oh oh Deepika and I can play badminton, and eat south Indian food and varan (Maharashtrian daal) and speak Konkani when we don’t want Ranveer to understand. She would LOVE me!
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She would! You would have so much fun, you would hardly need Ranveer!
Conversely, I don’t think either Mira or Malaika would be very fun co-wives.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 4:36 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Shahid is getting punched a lot, but count me in as a Shahid puncher. Marry Arjun, sex Ranveer.
Thanks for mentioning Tehzeeb! This is a movie that I put on my Jaman watch list a milliion years ago and then Jaman went out of business and I couldn’t remember what it was and I thought it was Tezaab which made no sense. This was back when I knew no actors or words in Hindi, so I was stuck, but now I can go look it up and maybe watch it and see if it was worth the 10 year wait.
All I watched this week was the last episode of Made in Heaven! Woo-hoo! So now I can go look at all your MIH coverage and comment without getting spoiled. I’m a bit swamped with midterms but it’s on the calendar.
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I am pretty sure you will love Tehzeeb. Lots of unspoken emotions, complex relationships, and great roles for woman. And Arjun R. being his best possible sensitive and intelligent and supportive man.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 9:10 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I would marry and sex Ranveer,skip Arjun and punch Shahid-a few times.
Watched Zoya Factor,felt sad for DQ. It isn’t a bad film but Sonam completely and totally ruined it for me. Had to watch OK Kanmani to cleanse. I have been on a rewatch spree. Watched Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and found it to be so lovely. When I had watched it when it had come out,I had dismissed it as another rich people story. But underneath all that glamorous people and exotic location,it is such a well made story about scared, flawed men. Such good chemistry btw all the three men. Everyone is so human despite their exotic looks-especiallg Katrina and Hritik.Zoya Akhtar is the Anjali Menon of Hindi. I guess this one and Dil Dhadkane Do were too pretty and pleasant to be taken seriously and Zoya had to make poverty porn to be seriously taken.
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Poor Arjun! I feel worse for him than Shahid, indifference is truly the opposite of Love.
Agree about Zoya Factor. The script needed another pass, but a really strong lead actress could have gotten past that. You know, the kind of performance that fills in more emotions and motivations than the flawed script provided. Dulquer managed that a bit with his character, I got the self-doubt underneath it all before the script explicitly had him talk about it. But Sonam just gave what was on the page and no more.
You have almost convinced me to rewatch ZNMD. I liked DDD far better on my second watch than on my first, I should give ZNMD the same chance. I do remember that Katrina and Hrithik felt more “real” to me than all the other stories, and I was glad that they ended up being the kind of end game couple.
On Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 10:12 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Yay, someone else likes Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara! It was my first Hindi film, plus it’s set in Spain, so I have not totally rational reasons to be fond of it, but I still like it every time I rewatch. The performances are lovely, and the script has a really nice balance between commercial high concept (buddy road trip, foreign location, the dares) and heartfelt human (Farhan and Naseeruddin, Abhay and Kalki, Hrithik and Kat, the three-way male friendship dynamic).
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Punch Shahid for sure. I loved him in his young movies (Jab we met..) but I think that shows what a good actor he is cause I think he is NOTHING like that in real life. His whole marriage thing is creepy and his young wife has gotten too thin which is never good. I know Arjun is good marriage material, but I just couldn’t….so its Raveer for sex and marriage which is the best combo!
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And, as Filmikudhi pointed out, with Ranveer you would also get a really great co-wife to hang out with! I kind of want to hug and support Shahid’s wife, but I don’t necessarily want to hang out with her.
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One more of my ongoing attempts to parse streaming deals: Dil Dhadakne Do recently expired on Prime and is coming soon on Netflix. Other movies recently expired on Prime:
Don
Don 2
Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.
Lakshya
Luck By Chance
Rock On
Talaash
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
Dil Chahta Hai
What do you think? Is there hope Netflix is getting all of these imminently?
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Could be, that’s all the Excel films! I’m gonna assume one company might own them all, either Excel directly or whoever they sold to in a batch. And I feel like Netflix had those in the recent past, which makes me think whoever has the rights is only selling them for short terms, seems like they know they are popular valuable films and they won’t be sitting on the shelf long?
On Thu, Dec 5, 2019 at 10:32 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Access Bollywood wrote about this recently:
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Ah, very helpful. Thank you!
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I watched Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon today with terrible subs which launched it into the so bad it’s good category. I’m not sure why Hrithik and Kareena were directed to act like they’d hit a crack pipe just before the camera rolled but hoo boy were they both gorgeous in this film. Fetus Abhishek looked great too.
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Have you watched this? Not, drop everything and watch it IMMEDIATELY!!!!
On Fri, Dec 6, 2019 at 4:15 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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It’s all true 😭😭😭
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I love the imagined acting workshop for Hrithik.
On Fri, Dec 6, 2019 at 4:39 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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