Silly Sunday: Fedora Anushka and Sundress Kat Lesbian Love Story, Help Me Workshop This!

I feel like we could crowd fund this one, right? Just pay Anushka enough to produce it on a shoestring, and then get a locked youtube video that can be shared only with the DCIB community. For Happiness.

Thank you Courtney for the idea!!!!

Katrina-Anushka Love Story, 1/3rd finished

Anushka is a hard partying confident cocky Lesbian and a successful writer/reporter. We open seeing her having a big blow out break up with her latest girlfriend who says she is always too tough to open up and admit she feels things, then Anushka goes out and gets drunk, seduces a sexy pretty item girl in song (Esha Gupta maybe?), then casually kicks her out the next morning in a nice way that shows Anushka does this a lot (has casual sex with girls who don’t usually sleep with girls but sleep with Anushka because she is so sexy). And only then does she get a call for a PR job writing an in depth redemption profile of an empty-headed actress, Katrina.

Image result for anushka jab tak hai jaan"
Anyone would hit that, right?

Katrina just got dumped by her latest boyfriend and her sympathetic manager/mother figure Shefali Shah is trying to convince her to meet with Anushka and be totally honest and open. Kat is nervous because she has never told the full truth about herself, not even her age is correct, and how can she trust the public who already hate her to forgive all the other stuff she has been through? But Farida tells her that is why Anushka is perfect, she’s India’s most famous out Lesbian, she was a top columnist for one of the biggest magazines, then wrote a bestselling memoir about being an Indian Lesbian, and now she has agreed to take a fabulous sum of money to write an intensive profile of Katrina. Anushka made her name by making the unredeemable impossible woman into someone people love, its on her as much as Kat to make this work.

Now, the middle bit is where I need help. We have Anushka (tough blunt fedora wearing hates all of Kat’s careful lies) and Kat (super reserved, feminine, finds Anushka’s whole thing very distasteful). Because Anushka has already spent the advance, and Kat’s situation is getting worse and worse day by day and Farida swears this will help, they have to keep meeting. Blah blah, slowly opening up, and after Kat confesses all the deep dark secrets of her life (and Anushka responds in kind, revealing parts of her journey that weren’t even in her writings), they go out drinking, and somehow end up falling in to bed together.

Image result for anushka katrina"

Clear clear, good good. After some backing and forthing, they decide to try it as a couple. Anushka’s friends think she is crazy, those “experimenting” girls are ones you might take to bed for a night, but an actual relationship never ends well. No one in Kat’s life knows except for her maid (Sheebha Chabbha, because why not!) who walked in on them. She is accepting, but worried about Kat, Kat is so pretty, doesn’t she want to get married and all that? She already has her dream wedding sari purchased and in her closet, after all.

And then Something Happens and they break up. Maybe Kat walks in on Anushka with her ex and misinterprets. Maybe Anushka sees Kat kissing a co-star to create rumors for the cameras. Something that brings all the fracture lines up again, Anushka doesn’t believe Kat will ever love her enough or be brave enough to go all in on this relationship. And Kat isn’t sure she can really risk everything for love, not if Anushka is going to keep pushing her to be out-out instead of just cosy “out in the industry but not in the papers”.

Image result for anushka jab tak hai jaan"

Until Anushka publishes her article, and it is so loving and understanding that it immediately solves Kat’s PR problems, plus makes her realize as she reads it that Anushka really does love her in a way no one has before and that’s worth more than everything. And in response Kat comes out on National TV in an interview with Karan (playing himself, obviously). She says that she had many relationships but never felt truly loved or happy, and then last year she finally fell in love for the first time in her life, with a woman. Anushka sees the interview on the TV screens at the airport as she is about to leave to go spend months with her next interview topic, and rushes to try to get back through security and then find a cab, we aren’t sure if she made it, until Karan suddenly looks up and sees something while he is still talking to Kat, it’s Anushka! She made it in time from the airport and Karan waves her on. She is crying, Kat is crying, and then Anushka gets down on one knee and proposes live on camera. Hugs, tears, a kiss, and Karan is so overcome he declares “And I’ll perform the wedding!”

Happy ending song, Anushka and Kat’s big wedding, Karan performs the ceremony in an amazing outfit, Anushka’s wearing a kicky turban and Kat’s in a gorgeous sari, everyone who loves them in their lives is there (maybe Anushka has finally reunited with her sister thanks to Kat’s encouragement? She was angry because her sister didn’t stand up for her when their parents threw her out, her sister has been reaching out to her for years and she ignored her, Kat encouraged her to see it from her sister’s side and understand and forgive, they finally met and her sister explained that she was just a kid herself, she didn’t knew it was wrong but was scared, she has lived with that guilt every day but didn’t even know how to find Anushka until her memoir came out, she cut their parents out of her life and has just been waiting to be reunited with her sister), and they have a big dance number. Heck, even Anushka’s ex is there! Maybe we see a cheeky bit of her dancing with Esha Gupta, implying that Esha is going to be seduced into another lesbian encounter.

What do you think? How should they become friends and then fall in love in the middle bit? Travelogue with Anushka following around while Kat films a song overseas? Or Anushka taking Kat to her dive bar Bombay world until she loosens up? Maybe some wacky misunderstanding where gangsters think they are smugglers or something?

Should Neha Dhupia play Anushka’s ex or Sanya Malhotra? Or someone else? What about Kat’s motherly manager and worried maid?

And what should Kat’s secret past be? Anushka’s is easy, good liberal family that threw her out when she came out to them and ever since then she has been on her own and not fully trusted anyone. But Kat? Beyond having some famous relationship that just ended? Call girl seems too depressing, being white is too meta. Maybe just that she lied about her background to make herself seem higher class/caste after entering the film industry? But is that enough?

What do you think? Before we start up our Kickstarter page, what more do we need to add?

Should Rekha be involved?

15 thoughts on “Silly Sunday: Fedora Anushka and Sundress Kat Lesbian Love Story, Help Me Workshop This!

  1. I think Kat should start out being a bit worried about Anushka and encouraging her to find a nice girl and settle down and then helping Anushka get ready for a first date with someone and realizing holy crap, I’m jealous and I want it to be me on that date.

    For Kat’s conflict, something close to her real life family situation. She comes from a big family headed by a single mother, her mother is always on the brink of financial disaster, her siblings are a mess, she has to keep the money flowing to the family or they threaten to sell stories about her to the press (throw in a dash of Meghan Markle’s situation).

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    • Maybe while Anushka is hanging out with Kat, Kat has a meeting with a costume designer and her assistant or something and Anushka and the assistant kind of vibe and the assistant gives Anushka her number? Kat pushes Anushka to call her and there is this undercurrent of Kat wanting Anushka to be safely with someone else so she can stop feeling feelings and maybe Anushka also trying to displace her feelings for Kat onto someone else, and while Kat is helping Anushka get ready for the date and asking Anushka “what do you usually do on a first date” they have a moment, followed by Anushka on the date realizing she really wants to be there with someone else, and Kat at home realizing she is going insane with jealousy, and then Anushka knocks on her door and surprises her and tells her “I wanted her to be you” and gently touches her cheek, and then the kiss.

      Oh oh! What if Kat is illegitimate? What if that is her big “secret”? She is the illegitimate child of an aging item dancer, who is kind of crass and embarrassing and now has dementia and is even more embarrassing, Kat learned “good” Hindi “good” English by watching movies and has spent her career lying that her parents were a wealthy couple of NRIs but both are sadly dead and she is an only child, when in reality, she has 3 younger siblings that she put through school and are now settled abroad. She keeps them at arms length even though they want her to visit them and vice versa, because she thinks her “shame” of being an actress will ruin their life. Does that work? And then Anushka can convince her that her past is something to be proud of because of what she has overcome and at the end wedding, we can see her siblings and her mother there with a caretaker.

      On Sun, Jan 19, 2020 at 11:15 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. The easiest thing would be if Kat had a secret lesbian past, but she thought she was over that/her mother found out and talked her out of it/she hoped she was straight after all. The secret lesbian past could be a bigger famous actress, who either helped her get started or something, and Kat finds out during her research but she’s nice about it. Then the secret past actress (we all know this is Rekha) can come back to start a misunderstanding because she’s jealous OR because Anushka rejected her. Bonus Kat can be scared to tell her mother because her mother thought she was past that/thinks Anushka is using her as the older actress was using her.

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      • I like this! But I say, not a bigger actress, because then you get into the whole “predatory lesbians” thing and we don’t need that message. Maybe Kat had a teenage relationship at school, the school caught the girls together and expelled them, her mother forced her to start working as an actress and shoved her into a heterosexual relationship to “cure” her. So Kat has spent her adult life with her mother setting her up in these hetero relationships that never work out and terrified that someone will track down the real reason she never finished high school and started acting at such a young age.

        This would be a big change though, we would make Kat into one of the star kids, her mother is Dimple Kapadia (obviously) a fierce older actress who is determined that her daughter will be respectable and accepted in a way she never was (implication that Dimple had a past of being forced to use sex to survive, and is still not really accepted by society). Kat was supposed to get a degree from a good school, go overseas for college, marry a wealthy industrialist, and never be part of the film industry at all. But after she was expelled, her mother forced her into acting to cover it all up but wanted acting to be just a means to an end, a way to meet a rich man or a powerful film star and get married. Kat’s life since age 17 has been a series of forced relationships where she tried to be everything the man wanted so she could make a good marriage and please her mother. But of course all of the relationships failed, some because they men took her for granted and cheated since she seemed so accepting, some because they just got bored with her perfection, and some because they were decent men and could tell she really wasn’t in to them. This latest man dumped her and in his good-bye letter (which of course her mother took and read) implied that he could tell she wasn’t in to sex with a man. Dimple freaked out that her horrible illness and flaw was going to come out, and hired Anushka to write a puff piece about how Kat was pure and innocent and just waiting for love.

        And then the relationship fights will suddenly be kicked up a WHOLE BIG NOTCH. First, Anushka and Kat can become friends and start to fall in love without admitting it, and while Anushka is agonizing over if she is just imagining this or if Kat is really into her, she can go on a research trip and meet with the principal of the high school and learn about the real reason Kat left school. And then an amazing scene where Anushka lovingly arranges for Kat to meet with her first love. Anushka now knows Kat is gay and she has a real shot, but loves her enough that she is willing to risk losing her to her First Love. But it turns out okay, the other woman is a school teacher who lives with a “roommate” that she loves very much, she and Kat just needed a chance to say a real good-bye and heal the wounds of their broken love story. And when it is over, Kat comes out of the room all teary and soft and kisses Anushka and says “I love you” to her.

        Everything is sex and love and happiness and riding a motorcycle tandem around the city. Except Anushka really wants her article to tell the “truth” about Kat and Kat is absolutely not down for it. Big ugly fight about representation and the ethical need to come out versus the right to privacy, where they are both wrong and both right, and finally Kat breaks up with Anushka because she thinks Anushka is putting her ethics over her love for Kat. But then the article comes out, and Anushka wrote the whole thing without revealing that Kat’s lost high school love was a girl. So it is still true, this broken woman rushed into failed relationships because she never got a chance to say good-bye to her True Love, but without the gay thing. Kat understands that Anushka really loved her, goes on Karan’s show and honestly tells her whole story and does a plea to the camera of “Anushka, if you love me, I’m waiting”, Anushka rushes from the airport, proposes, tears, embrace, etc. And we can have a lovely little mini-arc of showing Dimple having cathartic tears at home because she always wanted her daughter to be happy and was just afraid that no one would understand if she was really herself. And we can have a lightly cynical ending of Dimple playing host to the wedding and talking about how of course she always supported her daughter’s journey and blah blah blah while Kat and Anushka role eyes in the background. Oh, and of course Kat’s high school ex would show up with her girlfriend.

        Kat’s ex, Kareena maybe?

        On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 9:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • Yes, that solves all the problems! I just like the older actress thing because Rekha and also because it’s a cliched melodramatic story beat. I think she doesn’t even need to be predatory, maybe she’s angry at Kat because of totally unrelated reasons.

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          • Rekha as Kat’s mother? Rekha as the performer at the gay club where Anushka takes Kat on their first “real” date? Rekha redoing Marlene Dietrich’s Morocco number and giving a rose to Kat while she blushes?

            On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 9:46 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • And then Anushka and Kat can have sex for the first time because Rekha is the greatest aphrodisiac.

            On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 9:53 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I was just thinking like this, but with Rekha obviously flirting with them:

            On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 3:18 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • I think we just need to get Rekha to be our silent partner.

            On Tue, Jan 21, 2020 at 3:30 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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