Forget all the other things we have been discussing, streaming versus theaters and nepotism prejudices and online discourse, this is the MOST IMPORTANT DISCUSSION POST EVER. Grandpa’s 99th, what do I get him?
He is at that age where the last thing he needs is more “stuff”. So, a lovely antique clock, for instance, would be a terrible idea. But a mug, a t-shirt, flowers, or of course the absolutely perfect hours of pleasure toy would be great.
He’s 99 so his brain has slowed down a bit, complicated kits are no longer a good gift, or jigsaw puzzles, or stuff like that. Nothing that involves manual dexterity and thinking hard for an hour straight. Still loves to read though, enjoys watching good TV shows, can make jokes and laugh at jokes, it’s more an energy issue than anything else.
He was in the Army Air Corps in WWII, he went to Purdue University for college (engineering degree), he’s a lifelong Cubs and Bears fan, and he really loves anything to do with boats. Oh, and he vaguely remembers some words of German from his childhood.
Previous top hit gifts, a handmade Purdue blanket, a mug that says “I Love You Opa”, coasters with family photos on them, a t-shirt with the engineer cheer (“secant tangent cosine sine 3 Point 1 4 1 5 9”), a framed photo of Grandma. Oh, and a book of bad puns.
Currently, all I can think of is lame old 99 roses, one for each year. But it’s LAME. Surely I can do better. Surely WE can do better. As a collective. There has got to be more to birthday presents for a very very VERY old man than just flowers and a funny card.