Don’t panic, I’ll probably be back Thursday. But I am planning ahead for my own mental health and not committing to anything that I may not be able to do.
I know my blog posts were pretty incoherent and upset in 2016, but I don’t think I told y’all what happened in real life. I was up all night on November 8th, as were most people in America. And then at about 5am I got dressed and left my apartment and started walking.
An hour later my sister called to check up on me, I’d gotten about two miles away from my apartment by then, just kind of walking to nowhere. She told me to stay right where I was, had me tell her the intersection, and then called my parents. My Dad drive out and picked me up and took me somewhere and tried to get me to eat and drink something. And then I had him take me to work. Because I was nuts and I thought I might as well go to work as anywhere else.
I think 2016 kind of broke me. I think every election night for the rest of my life I won’t be completely…healthy? Sane fully? Safe? So this year I took November 4th off work and I’m taking it off the blog too. I’ve got my dog and food and anxiety meds and I am ready to huddle in at my apartment. And I’ve promised my parents that I will call for help if I need it.
I’m worried that the tiny bit of responsibility I feel to posting on the blog and responding to comments might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, you know? So I’m gonna take a sick day, two days, whatever I need.