Honestly, I’m curious! Angie and I were just talking about the film “June” where our heroine stays close to her group of school friends into adulthood, which was not our experience. I’m interested in learning about other people, are you like me and Angie, or are you like a movie?
I grew up in a wonderful neighborhood of family houses. My best friend lived across the street, and my two back up friends lived behind me and next door. That was the center of my childhood social life far more than school. My next door friend didn’t even go to the same school as us, she went to the Catholic school not the public. And the public schools moved us around every few years, so you never really knew who was going to be in your class year by year.
By the time I went to college, I was still very close to my across the street friend. But then her family moved and instead of just running across the street to see each other it was this whole elaborate thing that had to be planned in advance. I saw her maybe once my senior year of college when I was home on break, and then she went to grad school and my parents moved too, and I have seen her/heard from her once in the past 15 years. This was my best friend age 4 to 18, and I honestly have no idea where she is living, if she has kids, anything about her. Huh.
College, I had two super close friends, my roommate and my best friend. I spent pretty much 24 hours a day with one or the other of them. Post-graduation, I made a point to see my roommate maybe once a month, but it got harder with us not living together any more. My best friend, I talked to on the phone almost once a day and I took a long over night bus journey to visit her maybe once a month. And then her med school hours got crazy and it was harder for us to talk, and my job changed and it was harder for me to visit, and she moved back to Chicago which should have made it easier but somehow we ended up just drifting apart and I haven’t spoken to her in about 8 years and have no idea what is happening with her life.
And then 12 years ago, post-college, I hit the friends that are still in my life. From jobs, from church groups, from mutual acquaintances who introduced us, I ended up with the list of friends who are my life line right now, the ones I do virtual movie nights with and drive by present drop offs and have known so long and so well that we don’t need to meet face to face to feel close.
That’s not what I usually see in pop culture, that school friends and college friends are less important than the post-college adult friends. And that these super intense close friendships can just fade into literally nothing. But it’s been my experience.
How about you? Are you close to your childhood/college friends or are you like me? Do you tend to leap into intense close friendships or more hold back? Do you think something made a difference in your life to make you that way, besides just basic personality?