Discussion Post: Let’s Talk Hormones! Because I’m Still Miserable

I shall call this a Radical Feminist Gesture. Bringing the misery of hormones out from the shadows! Or, alternatively, just the usual nice virtual DCIB support group. Whatever, I’m all fragile and sad feeling, I don’t want to be alone. And any boys that are out there, you can just ignore this post if it makes you uncomfortable. Or read it if you want to learn about other genders!

Which is worse, having bad hormones descend upon you from God, or being on medication that you know is causing them and you have to keep taking it?

I vote, the second! I’m on a mild hormone pill now to regulate my cycle and I hate it! I hate it so much! 5 days a month I have to force myself to do this TO MYSELF. It’s like ripping off your own band aid, just so SO much worse than if an outside force were doing it.

Does anyone else start thinking about cleaning behind the refrigerator when your gynecologist is talking about why periods are important?

Not, like, a distraction. But as the nice lady is talking about how you really need to just “clean yourself out” once a month, I start thinking about how it is just like the gunk behind the fridge, and either you move the fridge once a month and really clean it, or it just builds up there, and you can’t see it, but you know it is there and it is driving you crazy. If I could give the fridge a pill that would make it clean itself out, I would do it. So why not do that for myself?

Does anyone believe that “chocolate is a culturally reinforced way to deal with that stressor”, versus something that for some reason our body is actually craving?

I swear, I’m not brainwashed by pop culture or anything, but I just crave chocolate like a mad woman 5 days a month. The research I can find says that super super dark chocolate does contain iron and blah blah that your body needs, but there still isn’t a clear scientific reason for the craving. So far as I am concerned, that’s just because science hasn’t figured it out yet, it’s THERE.

General question: do hormones make you weepy and sensitive, or angry and sensitive?

This was a weird thing that I am guessing other people have experienced. There were some hormone pills I was on that I ended up telling the doctor I just couldn’t keep taking because they made me angry. It was the strangest thing, my normal biological response to hormones is to get really fragile and sad and sensitive. But taking these particular artificial ones made me really really angry and I didn’t like that. I know for other people getting short tempered is a normal response, but it wasn’t for me, and I didn’t like that somehow these artificial things were messing with my normal response. Anyway, are you a sad and sensitive hormone person or an angry hormone person?

Final question: Should I stay at my parents and be spoiled, or go home and eat chocolate alone on the couch watching Bridgerton?

I’ll probably split the difference. Go home tomorrow or the next day, stay here for now and let them feed me. No matter what, Albie is coming with me, because holding a dog snuggled on your lap is the BEST. Like, better than chocolate even. And I know, because yesterday I could choose between staying on the couch cuddling and getting up to get chocolate, and I opted couch and Albie.

27 thoughts on “Discussion Post: Let’s Talk Hormones! Because I’m Still Miserable

  1. I have never taken hormone pills, but I do understand. Split the time with your parents and at home watching Bridgerton (it is a wonderful escape, same with The Queen’s Gambit, but in a different tone) and there are books for both as well if you’re in the mood for it. Then, of course, chocolate is just the best! I personally need to have chocolate and chips during that time of the month (sugar and sweet and if I’m lucky then sushi to ease the burden), because otherwise my blood sugar and moodiness is at its worst and those help to keep it up during the first hard days. Just one day at a time and spoiling oneself to the best of one’s abilities. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • I already watched The Queens Gambit, I think during a previous hormone burst ๐Ÿ™‚ Total escapism, you are right. I’ll do Bridgerton once I am home I think, so Thursday or so. Or this weekend if I can hold off.

      Of course it is an incredibly busy week at work at the same time, blech, so I can’t spoil myself that much. But after work I am totally being happy and selfish and comfy.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 8:56 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  2. There was a time when I was so angry I could kill somebody. Then I had a baby, something changed and now I’m angry for few days (not like before, but still and it’s so not the usuall me. I tell my husband: I’m not angry with you but, but I’m so pissed off you better leave me alone . Sometimes he understands, sometimes not ). And later after the angry days I’m very weepy (like crying during tv ad weepy).

    Like

    • Yes! That’s how angry I was! And it’s very much not me and it was weird and freaky and I didn’t like it. I am so glad I was able to just change prescriptions and stop being angry. It takes so much energy to say “this is my false emotion that I am going to resist and ignore and not act on” for days and days. So much easier to just be alone, I can beat up inanimate objects as much as I want, but if you blow up at a co-worker, there are consequences after you recover.

      Generally speaking, I am against the Indian tradition of isolating menstrating women as “unclean”. but sometimes the idea of just being locked in a room alone to go a little mad for 3 days sounds nice.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 9:14 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

      • Hormones are a very strange thing. I have hypothyroidism and take medicines one once my , now ex-endocrinologist increansed my daily dose. It was one of the worst times of my life, and I didn’t understand the two things were connected. Normally I’m a very tranquil introvert, who don’t like to argue or have interactions with people. But during that time I was always so angry and anxious. I bickered with people at my son’s school , shout a lot, and crashed things at home. It was a nightmare. Only later I started thinking it’s my medicine’s fault and changed the doctor. When my new doctor saw my daily dose, she was like: OMG who prescribed you that? Do you know you could have a heart attack?
        As soon as the dose have been reduced I was the usuall couch potato I’ve always been.

        Like

        • It’s the weird thing about hormones, they can literally make you feel like you’re going crazy. This is something I remember strongly from my pregnancies, it’s a physical thing that messes royally with your mind and emotions. Trying to keep that in mind as my oldest son heads into puberty…

          Like

          • What I have heard about boys and puberty and hormones, is that they get unbelievably smelly. But I think if the choice is between unbelievably smelly, and a teenage girl going “my life is OVER”, I think I would prefer smell.

            On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 11:57 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

            >

            Like

  3. I have an answer to your chocolate question. I know a colleague who actually investigated this question for her Ph.D. dissertation. And yes, her findings support your intuition…chocolate cravings are culturally constructed in the U.S… it’s not driven by hormones…instead women feel culturally licensed to indulge in chocolate at that time…she has a lot of research around this…she also found that women outside the U.S. do not crave chocolate and immigrant women in U.S. are somewhere in between.

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28723930/

    Like

    • So cool that you know someone who is actual an expert on this! Still not sure I believe it though ๐Ÿ™‚ I really really want chocolate in a way that feels beyond cultural construction.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 10:37 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  4. Unfortunately, I go from angry and weepy in the days before to weepy and sensitive during. So I feel like I have it all and that’s not a good thing. The hormonal changes are what get me more than anything else. It’s so frustrating knowing that if some things happened a couple of days later I would have such a different reaction or there would be a different outcome.

    I’m also trying to watch Bridgerton, but not having a lot of success. I actually like the book, so the “Hollywood” changes really bug me, but I’m hearing it gets better as it goes on.

    Like

    • Yes! I have to actually tell myself “remember two days ago when you forgot to pick up groceries on the way home? Remember how you just laughed about it then instead of bursting into tears? That was normal, this is not normal”.

      I got 5 minutes into Bridgerton and also was distracted because of the books. I kept trying to match the show with what I knew of the books and it made my head hurt. My sister also read all the books, and has finished the series. She said don’t even think of them as the same thing, it’s very loosely connected, the show adds in a lot more. So I’m gonna try to do that and see if I do better.

      Like

    • I’m on a 5 days only very mild pill regime which is way way better than anything else I have tried. But there’s still the random months where it’s just harder than other months. Which is also irritating! Why can’t it be equally bad every month? Or, alternatively, have some logical predictable reason to be worse? I’m guessing I’m really down this month because of Vitamin D deficiency or something fun like that, but BLECH.

      I’ve started just telling people proactively when I am having a bad month. Like, “do not take seriously anything I am about to say or do, I am letting you know in advance that I am CRAZY”. Otherwise you end up with friends being, like, “I am so concerned about you! Is something terrible happening? What’s wrong?” Someone should make “Having a bad PMS” signs to wear around your neck just so everyone knows.

      Oh! That reminds me! A few years back I was at a Walgreens buying an enormous thing of feminine products, and also three 80% dark chocolate chocolate bars, and I had a hard time figuring out the right change to pay, and the check out lady was sooooooooooo nice to me, and ended up saying “I hope your day gets better”. See, everyone should be like that! If women are buying a lot of chocolate and seem frazzled and distracted, just be extra extra nice to us.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 11:49 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  5. Hormones are so weird, especially when you know they are causing you to feel a certain way that is not you but you have to keep taking them because stupid life is unfair. I have been going through treatments that involve various hormones at various times of the month for so long that it is just a normal part of my routine to give my husband a heads up that I am NOT having a good day and it is not personal.

    With regards to chocolate, I don’t crave chocolates ever but I do crave red meat, which I normally don’t crave. I think it is my body’s way of telling me I am low on iron. I also crave carbs but I don’t think that has any correlation to the hormones; carbs are just delicious!

    Like

    • Every once in a while as my Mom and I are having conversations about hormones or eating too much soy and now we can’t stop crying or whatever, my Dad will just shake his head and say something about how “Your lives are so exciting!” He just eats food and sleeps and wakes up and whatever and doesn’t have these massive mood shifts directly related to what is put into his body. So there is that, our lives are very exciting, men just chug along blah blah blah.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 1:17 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

      • Ugh! I have insomnia now. After reading all of your and Mariaโ€™s comments, things are not looking up for me in the future. Thankfully, when my husband catches me being wide awake for multiple nights in a row, he forces me to take my pills which reluctantly do.

        Like

  6. Wow, whatta thread! I don’t remember much about my menopause except that it was uneventful, I’m never moody and I don’t particularly like chocolate. But don’t hate me. My thing is that I’m OLD. I wake up with aches and pains that I have to ignore in order to get out of bed, and I’m WRINKLED.
    Any other oldies out there in DCIB-land? Would be interested if you’d trade creaking for cramps, memory-glitches for mood swings.

    Like

    • I just had this conversation with my mother last night! And she also can’t remember big emotional swoops related to hormones, since it’s been decades since she had them. In her case, they were largely replaced with insomnia. And yeah, I think I would prefer to keep my emotions and not get the post-menapausal severe insomnia some women have.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 2:04 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  7. Insomnia. It’s an interesting phenomenon. I have it on and off but since visiting the ashram where I used to live and speaking to, I guess you’d call him the guru altho he wore army boots and had flaming red hair, I tried to stop letting it bother me. Guru Chuck told me the body will fall asleep when it has to; God kind of desigfned us that way. If it’s 2 AM and you need to get up for work at 6, chill. Turn on the TV, listen to music, clean out the kitchen cabinets. If 3 hours is all you’re going to get that night, then that’s all you need. You’ll make it up, not necessarily at your desk the next day, or even the next night. But eventually.
    Now of course, that’s for a basically healthy person, physically and emotionally. If you’re on drugs or prescribed medications, or if the world is falling apart around you, that may not work.

    Like

    • My Grandpa has insomnia like that and it is so hard to convince him he is allowed to just go to bed when he got tired, even if it wasn’t “bedtime” yet. And that he is allowed to sleep in in the morning even if it is “morning”. Or get up early even if it isn’t “morning” yet.

      My Mom has insomnia in more of the “I haven’t slept in two days I can barely walk” kind of zone, which is different. But now she has a CPAP and things are better. Anyway, I’d take hormones any day over not sleeping in two days and can barely walk.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 2:36 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  8. I have to admit that I’m not conscious of any big hormonal mood swings. But that’s probably because I spend three to five days each month just trying to ignore the pain and not overdose on ibuprofen. If I don’t take anything in time, it can even get so bad that I throw up from the pain.

    Like

    • Cramps: A Distraction From PMS. That’s an ad campaign just waiting to happen.

      I love Midol. It’s like my whole middle section is wrapped in a fluffy comforter. Somewhere down deep on the inside something painful is happening, but mostly I just feel soft and cozy.

      On Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 2:49 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

  9. I get weepy and sad and introverted. Tonight I had chocolate icecream (a treat, we don’t usually have icecream in the house but we made quarantine sundays yesterday). I made candied orange peels last week and saved the left orange sugar water, syrup I guess, so I poured that over the chocolate icecream, and it was the best thing I have tasted in a month. All those Christmas treats and cookies couldn’t compete with chocolate icecream and orange syrup.

    I keep reading about Bridgerton, but I’m worried it would have something in it I don’t want the boys to see. Except I don’t really care if they see sex. Tell me how it is.

    Like

    • Oh, that sounds so good!!! I ate all my chocolate ice cream over the weekend like a FOOL. I’ll have to buy more.

      I’ll let you know about Bridgerton!!! The books dance towards rape and bad things a bit, I don’t know how close the TV show will come.

      On Wed, Jan 13, 2021 at 1:12 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.