I Figured Out Why People Have Babies Instead of Puppies!!!

I solved it!!! It took me a while to figure it out, but it burst upon me suddenly this morning.

It’s for cars in the winter!!! That’s why you have kids!!! I was sitting in the car running the defrost thinking how much easier this would be if I could run the defrost while someone else scrapped. And then I looked at Albie Dog uselessly licking his butt. And I thought “if Albie Dog was a small child, I could make him go out and stand in the street and scrap the windshield while I run the defrost. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HAVE BABIES!!!!!”

That’s it, right? So you can have someone to scrap the window while you run the defrost? Otherwise it has never made sense to me, because around the house dogs clean up messes and babies make them, so why would you pick a mess-maker over a mess-cleaner?

See my nephew helpfully digging in to snow? You can train a child to do that, you can’t train a dog.

8 thoughts on “I Figured Out Why People Have Babies Instead of Puppies!!!

  1. Have you ever read Twain’s Diaries of Adam and Eve? That could be a good staycation read. It’s very funny, and basically consists of Adam trying to figure out the use or even species of this strange creature Eve claims to have birthed.

    I can’t speak to the usefulness of dogs, but the usefulness of children is an evolving state requiring training and lots of patience.

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    • Really? See, I was thinking children would be easier to train, because they can understand English. But that might also mean they can argue back?

      On Sun, Feb 7, 2021 at 10:43 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

      >

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  2. Yup, Emily is correct. Children are only intermittently inclined to please, and are least inclined when they are physically strongest. Also, the treats required to elicit the wanted behavior change dramatically over time. I can still say “Huxley, can you please get me my purse” but at 9 he already occasionally says “you could get up and get it.” It’s going to get worse, then better once he hits post college years.

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    • Maybe it’s because children have more self awareness? That is, Hux’s puppy clearly still thinks he is far smaller and weaker than Hux. But, he isn’t!!! And yet I fell Hux will reach a moment of awareness when he becomes taller than you.

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  3. Children bring joy and have no other use or purpose for 50 years when they nurse you in your old age, or dump you in a nursing home but pay the bills. I cannot expand more as I’m rushing about. I actually checked in to say that as soon as I saw the news all I could think of was Kedernath.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have already told my parents that I will take care of them when they are old, but NOTHING YUCKY. Ill hire people to do the yucky stuff. And I think I should probably have the same rule as an aunt?

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