HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEPHEW!!!!!!! He is so BIG now! Like, he’s a little boy, not a little baby or even a toddler. Long legs and coordination and ability to form 3 word sentences. AMAZING.

First, I know you are all curious, I figured out what to get him for his birthday! I did two presents, one for his parents and one for him.

For his parents, a respectable touching lovely gift. I ordered a handmade toddler guitar from a store in Texas. Hilariously, it is described as “not professional quality”. You know, for all those professional toddler guitar players. Oh, and I ordered it in red. Because that is Best Color. Look how lovely!

That’s the gift his parents can cry over, and show friends, and hold on to forever as his big gift for his second birthday.

Now, for him, I got him what would ACTUALLY bring him joy on his second birthday: A Big Box of Trash!!!!

There’s the box itself, cardboard, 2 feet by 3 feet, that alone is going to be magical

And then inside I put:

2 kinds of bubble wrap

Wadded up packing tape

Plastic food containers

Smaller cardboard boxes

Crumpled up packing paper

A single book, so I could send it Media Mail

I am VERY excited about this gift. I think he is going to have an orgy of joy with it for his whole birthday, and then his parents will throw it all away and he will never use it again. But SUCH JOY! For one glorious day!!!!

In other news, he’s basically your average 2 year old. Loves cars and trucks and the mailman. Refuses to give up drinking milk as his main source of food. Has curls that tangle all the time but his parents are such softies they don’t want to cut them. Alternates hating and desiring his parents in unpredictable ways. Is slowly outgrowing naptime but his parents are in denial about it.