Happy Day After Thanksgiving! Someone Tried to Break Into My Car, I Choose to Believe it Was Confused Elves

Well, sigh. A bit of a rough start today. But nothing I can’t handle! But also, sigh. I wonder if my car insurance office is open the day after Thanksgiving?

Yesterday was lovely and lazy, my parents are still in shock and exhaustion (they were with Grandpa 24 hours a day for the week before he died, which was a blessing, but also very emotionally and physically exhausting). So I picked up dinner from Whole Foods, then brought the dog over to their place and we had a lowkey 12 hours together. Heated the meal and ate it, had naps, walked the dog, played card games, walked to the lake, and then watched our favorite rural Veteranian reality show and I drove home.

I had a hard time getting going today but finally got myself started, first thing, even before getting dressed, I had to finish hemming the tablecloth we are using for Second Thanksgiving today (my friends and I are hosting our parents at our new place). Then just as I was getting ready to go for a festive COVID test (I get them every 2 weeks, just for fun), my friends texted that they were dying for coffee and I offered to pick it up at the Starbucks by the testing place.

Okay, here’s where it gets MAGICAL. I parked my car at the Starbucks, went inside and got the order, came out, and in those 2 minutes Little Elves had attempted to break into my car! As I choose to believe it, invisible Elves from the north pole saw the bags of groceries in my back seat, were confused by the reindeer ears on my car, assumed they were presents for Santa, used their Elf Strength to rip the handle of my trunk, then realized it was a mistake and magically Poofed away back to the North Pole.

So then I drove to my garage that is two blocks away, guy said “I can glue it on, it would take a few hours, and then I’ll order a replacement part and call you when it is in”. Then I drove from the garage back home, called my friends to run down and get their coffee and the groceries, then back to the garage and left the car.

But it gets even more MAGICAL!!! I had to walk home from the garage and I was wishing I had headphones, so I thought I might as well stop in at the weird electronics storefront across the street. I asked if they had bluetooth headphones, they did! Strangely mixed assortment, with no prices on them, along with speakers, computers, car parts, etc. Ready to pay, told they only take cash, no credit card. Since I didn’t have cash, I left. I choose to believe that this is another Santa outpost. Since they are secretly working for the North Pole, they can’t have credit card receipts, prices, packaging, or any kind of paper trail. MORE ELVES!!!!!

Anyway, now I am home and thinking about the magic of the season all around me, and also that I should donate more money to my local food pantry because apparently the people in my neighborhood aren’t in the best financial place this holiday season.

Oh, and that I should call my insurance agent and see if I am covered for Random Acts of Elves in Parking Lots.

9 thoughts on “Happy Day After Thanksgiving! Someone Tried to Break Into My Car, I Choose to Believe it Was Confused Elves

  1. How’s Chicago doing? I’m imagining your neighborhood could be doing better as groceries aren’t typically things people try to steal. Low resale value and all… I went into S.F. The day before Thanksgiving and it was close to a ghost town. Walked with the family through China Town, North Beach (Italian Town) To the big touristy piers and the shuttered shops and lack of people on the street were kinda freaky. Hoping that the day had something to do with it but I have to recognize that the pandemic hit the city economically harder than it did my rural town. We lost one restaurant, but no stores. And the other 10 ish restaurants are still going. In S.F. That isn’t the case. On the one hand it was nice not having to dodge people while walking down the block, but so few places were open, it was sad.

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    • My neighborhood is hardcore working people. By 7am, there are no cars still parked on our block because everyone has already left for work. So I suppose it is possible it is more pandemic hit because it’s folks who were making a solid income from the kind of jobs that disappeared, it that makes sense. More of a shift from income to no income instead of staying steady at no income. But also, it’s just a TERRIBLE parking lot!!! Real bad vibes. The kind of place that might inspire someone to not care about others.

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  2. So sorry about your car but glad your groceries were spared. One Christmas, I loaded the car with gifts for kids and grandkids, some with a discreet $20 bill tucked in, and drove to the police station to pick up my husband after work. When we came out, the car had been broken into and all the presents were gone. I WAS PARKED IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION! Well, it was in the Bronx.

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    • My car comes with one of those privacy screen things so people can’t see if you have packages i the back. I’ve never considered using it, but maybe now I should?

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      • I don’t know whether that would help. In my experience, thieves can be extremely stupid: taking a bag of clothes but leaving the handbag with the money or breaking a window just to take the front piece of the radio that won’t do anything on its own. Both of these happened to me within a few weeks when I was interning in Brussels for a few months.

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