I’m part of the Christian tradition, and all of that, so I get to make fun of Jesus. Plus, Jesus was a cool dude, I think he’d get a chuckle out of this annual post, don’t you?
The historical Jesus, we have no clear idea what he looked like. Probably bearded, probably African features, darker skin tone, kinky hair. But we don’t know tall, short, wore white, wore sandals, who knows???
However, the common images of Jesus in the West are very specific. Pale skin, longish brown hair, beard, white, great abs. And following the traditional western Jesus depiction, let’s look at our Indian Hot Jesus options!
New SRK Hot Jesus! Doing the whole Big Arms thing too!
Vikrant Massay, very “tortured by the sadness of humanity” looking
Sid M, as Jesus reading one of the books about himself
Aamir tempted in the desert
Now Shahid’s doing the Big Arm Thing
Shahrukh, bein’ baptized
Fawad Khan, Jesus listening to you tell your sins
Harsh Kapoor, as Jesus relaxing after a long day preaching
Ram Charan as Jesus in another incarnation as Ram
Rana Duggabati as young Jesus, learning carpentry and struggling with his future
Aditya Roy Kapoor, shielding his eyes from the hot desert sun
Shahrukh as Jesus getting busy with Mary Magdelene
Dharmendra, bringing some “forgive them, they know not what they do” energy
And finally, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!
dontcallitbollywood 
(You will, of course, go to hell for this.)
I think the Vikrant picture captures how I think of Jesus. — except different clothes.
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I know “Dharam Veer” way better than I know the New Testament, so I will presume this means that Jesus and Pontius Pilate get together at the end.
Happy Easter! (Is that the correct greeting? Or is it “merry”?)
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No no, Jesus and Peter. It’s like War, his protogee was his boyfriend, clearly
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Or Jesus and Judas. I highly recommend this version of Jesus Christ Superstar for Eater…for obvious reasons. It’s in Swedish, but who cares when there are SUBTITLES!
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There is a version of Jesus Christ Superstar musical where the Jesus x Judas thing is quite clearly there. So if you are interested, I left the link/video under Margaret’s comment. 🙂
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This comment is amazing!
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I’m afraid Fawad as Jesus will not work, pretty sure we’re not allowed to have sinful thoughts while confessing!
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It’s a never ending confession loop! You have to.keep confessing sinful thoughts as you are constantly thinking new thoughts.
On Fri, Apr 15, 2022, 6:24 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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Which means you have an excuse to never, ever leave!
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I actually laughed out loud while reading this!
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Shahid and Vikrant, I think.
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Hottest Jesusest vibes are between crucifix Shahid and Mary Magdalene SRK. Have to give this one to Shahid for Good Friday.
Happy Easter!
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Happy Easter!!!
On Fri, Apr 15, 2022 at 10:20 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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