One of these really really doesn’t matter, but the other one kind of does, because it is hiding a story that does.  Well, two stories

Okay, there’s a thing about Priyanka that I am not sure if I even understand.  She was on a magazine cover and her armpit was airbrushed?  And people for some reason care about this?  I can see face wrinkles or cellulite or pimples or something, that might be an issue if it is airbrushed, but don’t you kind of want armpits to be airbrushed?  They aren’t exactly something I want to see while I’m waiting in line at the grocery store check out.

Is there some deep meaning to this story I am just missing, or is it really just armpits?

And then there’s a Salman story that I fully understand and have decided I just really really don’t care about.  Except to get mad at people who do care about it.  Remember that interview from a while back at the Sultan trailer release?  I already printed some of the best excerpts, which were also the excerpts most news websites and papers printed.

At one point in the long press conference, Salman made a joke along the same lines of his “I felt violated!” joke about wearing a loin cloth.  Actually, it probably came as a result of the previous joke, when he saw how well that landed in a sort of “it’s funny because it’s clearly not true and I am making fun of people who pretend they suffer as much as violated women when small things happen” way.  But then he made another joke later, when they were asking about filming the fight scenes, saying that at the end of the day he felt exhausted and could barely walk and was so worked over he was “like a raped woman”.  The reporters laughed a little, and then Salman immediately walked the statement back, seeing that he had gone too far.  Bollywoodhungama printed the full audio so we could judge for ourselves, and yeah, it’s a lame joke that he immediately walks back.

Only, anything with “rape” in the headline gets clicks, and anything with “Salman” in the headline gets clicks, so some website decided to go off the reservation and print the original comment.  And then all the politicians jumped on board, especially the BJP, asking for an official apology.  For something that was never a public statement, and which he immediately followed by “I don’t think so.”

You know what the real news here is?  “Rape” gets headlines, and being against rape is a good thing, only the actual targets that might fix things are too powerful to attack, so everyone just goes after Salman, the soft target.  Which is what Salman himself said in an interview a couple of days ago about the censor thing!

They don’t give a shit about this industry. This industry with so many taxes etc is still treated so badly. We are soft targets. And when they need us in drought situations and all, they come. But we get no protection when people for the silliest of reasons come and vandalise our theatres and disrupt screenings. Nobody should have the right to stop a movie from being screened. With every ticket bought, the government benefits. When the money is going back to the country, who are you to stop it? If there is a controversy surrounding me, and you don’t want my movie being screened, go to the court. The officials have failed in terms of safety, economy and taxation.

To put this in perspective, the BJP is calling for Salman to apologize, right?  And leading the charge against his j0ke that was in bad taste?  Meanwhile, also last week, a major contributor and friend to both the BJP and Congress parties was arrested for a long time pattern of rape against students at his for profit college.  But, if you search “BJP” and “Rape” now, about one third of the results are news stories about that, and two thirds are about Salman.  Oh, and Salman’s hardcore comments above about how the film industry is constantly used by the government where almost impossible to find, even though they were big news and major talking points just a few days ago.

So congrats, BJP people!  You successfully covered up the two stories that made the government look bad, with a story that you can use to make yourself look good!  But I have tricked you, Ha-Ha!  I have buried the stories that actually matter within an article on the stupid non-controversy Salman quote story.