Katching Up With Koffee: Siddharth and Jacqueline, Making Interest Out of Nothing

This was an interesting episode!  Mostly because of the challenge it posed to Karan, how is he going to get the audience interested in these two people that we just don’t really care about that much?  It’s the same problem he had with Parineeti and Aditya Roy Kapoor, but I think he handled it better this time.

Have I mentioned before that I take notes while I watch these episodes?  My first note for this one is “Jackie’s sleeves???????”  And then about half an hour later “buttons on her pants??????”  Really, the whole outfit is not what I would have worn were I to appear on Koffee.  But she still looked great!  A testament to how pretty she is.

Siddharth is pretty too.  Which is good, because prettiness is basically the best thing they had to bring to the show.  Karan started with the two most interesting things about them, that Jackie is bubbly and Siddharth is rumored to have dated everybody.  He dug around a little trying to make that interesting to us, and there’s just nothing there.  Siddharth isn’t saying anything, and really, how interested can we be in someone being bubbly?

It was a little interesting that Karan went straight for every Siddharth rumored romantic partnership with one notable exception-Himself.  I wonder why not?  He is certainly fine with acknowledging it with Shahrukh and flirting with Akshay and everyone else.  After reading those book excerpts, I’m wondering if maybe it is because he knows Siddharth’s career could actually be damaged by bringing them up?  Not so much that he is gay, but that he slept his way to the top.  Ranveer and Arjun and Ranbir can afford to make casting couch jokes, because they have proved that they have more that that.  Siddharth, not so much.

(“Kala Chasme” is great, but you need a little more than a great end credits song to prove you can carry a hit movie)

In the earlier section, the only other thing I found interesting is when Karan was digging around trying to find some other tempting bit of gossip, they were mentioning Jackie’s Arjun dating rumor, her friendship with Sonam, how Karan knows Jackie through “judging” a show together.  They both are outsiders, Jackie and Sid (which also came up), but they’ve both been around for a while now.  But this is how the industry works, even if you don’t co-star with people in a movie, there are celebrity appearances on reality shows and parties and ad shoots and fashion shows and all sorts of other ways that you just get to know people over time.

Oh, and also, (and there will be slightly more about this in my Hindi 101 Ranbir Kapoor post on Tuesday), once again Ranbir and Ayan were mentioned in the same breath.  Maybe they are dating, or maybe they are just really close.  My best friend has a girlfriend, but we still go everywhere together, maybe they are like us?

The only slightly interesting thing Karan found with all his poking is how close Jackie and Sid are, although they claim it is just because they are shooting Bang Bang Reloaded together.  They both got a little flustered and had some fun with the denials, so Karan immediately started leaning hard on that theme, since it is the only thing interesting.

I did have a slight wonderment if maybe Karan was also leaning on it because they really are dating.  He’s done that before, used real life gossip that the public doesn’t know yet as kind of an inside joke on the show.  Well, half an inside joke, have a soft release of the relationship.  They joke and joke about it on Koffee, and get to kind of have a dress rehearsal for what will happen if they really announce it later.  If they were really dating, I don’t think Karan would make all these jokes without their permission, but I could see why they might have given him the high sign that it is okay to start the jokes so long as they aren’t really put on the spot.

Karan probably knew there wouldn’t be much of interest in this episode, because he planned 3 games for it, adding on to his usual Koffee Kwiz and rapid fire.  A good idea, because the talky-talky part at the beginning was sagging, and the games just sparked things up again.

The first game was basically a “did you ever?” game.  Karan would ask the question, and if they did it, they had to take a shot.  By the way, NEVER PLAY THIS GAME WITH A JAIN!  I made that mistake in college.  Not with a drinking game, because all of my college friends were boring good little desi girls.  But with the non-alcoholic version, where everyone gets 5 toothpicks or straws or whatever and has to give them to the person who hasn’t done whatever.  Anyway, the game was pretty much over once she ran through “I’ve never eaten a potato” “I’ve never eaten an onion” “I’ve never eaten a carrot”.

Right, back to the show!  Neither of them were Jain, plus it’s a Karan show, so the questions were all sexy instead of root vegetable based.  So, same questions we’ve heard before, did you ever have a crush on a co-star, did you ever join the mile high club, etc. etc.  And finally Karan found his groove with this couple, because Jackie got really really cute when she was embarrassed.  Not like with Alia, where you felt kind of uncomfortable because she was so young and innocent, but more like a grown woman who is just kind of cute about talking about sex.  And Siddharth was great at teasing her about it to make her even more embarrassed.

The only thing I feel worth mentioning about Siddharth is that he claimed to never have had his heartbroken, and also never drunk dialed an ex.  Which I believe completely.  Because look at him!  Who could ever bare to let that go once they had it?  Surely he was always the breaker upper, not the breakee.  And similarly, surely he was always the drunk dialee, not drunk dialer.

Image result for siddharth malhotra

The rapid fire was a little bland.  Beyond more general jokes about them dating and Jackie being cute about sex.  The only thing I found worth writing down was when Karan asked something about what Siddharth does to get women or something like that and Jackie said “Dance” and Karan’s reaction was immediately “him?”  Which was kind of my reaction too.  But then Jackie explained she meant like in a club, and they all understood.  Because yeah, spotting Siddharth on a dance floor would work.

And finally, the Koffee Kwiz!  And they know NOTHING about ANYTHING.  Except fashion.  American pop music, film dialogues, film songs (okay, they could do the hook steps pretty well), they were okay, but not really shouting out the answers like it was on the tip of their tongues.  And they both completely whiffed on knowing who painted the Sistine Chapel.  Oh!  Except for Fashion!  That is where they both really shown.  Even knowing the name of the Kardashian fashion line.  Who knows THAT?


So, to summarize, Karan worked very hard to make Siddharth and Jackie interesting.  Jackie is adorable when she talks about sex.  Siddharth and Jackie are adorable together and I would be delighted if they were actually dating, and not really that surprised based on their closeness in this episode (very handsy).  And also, both of them have almost know general knowledge.

9 thoughts on “Katching Up With Koffee: Siddharth and Jacqueline, Making Interest Out of Nothing

  1. Definitely a fun episode with absolutely no substance which is saying a lot for a standard KWK episode. I kind of hope they’re dating, too, because they seem well matched but I also suspect the whole PR stunt dating in the works. I always feel bad speculating about actors’ sexual orientations, because it just shouldn’t matter but, of course, it’s human nature to wonder. Even if Sid were gay, he may never come out because it’s even more of an issue for his career than if Karan came out (remember Rupert Everett?). Plus there’s the legal issues. My take is that Sid is probably bi. I also thought his crush on Aishwarya Rai somehow makes sense in light of this. I wonder if she’s a bit of an icon within the Indian LGBTQ community?

    Sidenote: there are Ranbir and Ayan rumors? I seriously thought they were just besties. Or Sid and Ayan rumors? Anyway, I do wonder what ADHM would have been like if Sid were in the Ranbir role…I might have liked it even more. Ranbir’s emoting (clutching lightposts and all) was just a tad too much for me and I guarantee Sid would have had much hotter chemistry with Aishwarya.


    • Oh, and Karan’s reaction to the dancing compliment was hilarious. Though it does make sense that he has moves on the club dance floor. He’s got a sexy swagger to his movement in some of his films. It’s when he is focused on choreography that you can practically see him counting the beats to himself. But in a song like Punjabi Wedding Song in HTP where it’s a much looser party dance sequence and he’s doing bhangra steps, it seems much more natural.


      • His body also looks good when he is dancing, you know? He’s got long arms and legs and big hands, and doing dance moves kind of shows them off and makes everything flow together, more than when he is just standing or sitting.


    • I’ll ask around and see if I can find out if Aish is an icon (I’ve got a friend who is pretty imbedded in the Pune gay community). But she does have that feeling, right? I know Sridevi and Rekha are. There’s the kind of extra feminine, like performative feminine feel to them that you also get with Cher or some of the American icons.

      I don’t know of any Ranbir and Ayan rumors, besides the ones I am spreading 🙂 That is, the ones I am trying not to spread, because as you say, it is none of our business. But I am so interested in how consistently Ayan is mentioned as an insider by people who are also close to Ranbir, how they are always photographed together, etc. etc. I guess what I am most interested in is the lack of rumors. Either because it is Ranbir, so no one is willing to spread the rumors/would believe them with his ladies’ man reputation; or because Ayan just isn’t a big enough target the way Karan is, so no one would be interested in any rumors that might be spread.


      • Oh, ok:) So it’s a bit of wishful thinking re Ranbir and Ayan? And then adding Sid in the mix makes it really interesting! I’m thinking of the Richard Armitage, Lee Pace, Luke Evans trio in The Hobbit…always wondering what was going on behind the scenes with their shared histories.

        But seriously, I do think that Ranbir has a close relationship with Ayan and their two collaborations so far have been two of his most successful films (they’re also two of my favorites with him). Maybe Sid is angling for a cameo in Dragon?


        • Wishful thinking in that it seems like the healthiest and most supportive relationship in Ranbir’s life. And they definitely seem close in the same way that Shahrukh-Karan are, where it is just taken as a given that if you are friends with one, you will be friends with the other.

          The references I am hearing are super casual, just people listing off friends of themselves, or photos at parties, but it seems like Ayan has gotten entry into the “inner circle” of the industry in a way that I wouldn’t expect for a 2 film director, even one as successful as he has been and one with Mukherjee film connections. Like, an invite to Shahrukh’s small birthday weekend, or mention as one of Aamir’s 1am friends he calls. Which has made me guess that he just goes with Ranbir everywhere, and therefore has gotten to know and become close with people in a way he wouldn’t just on his own.

          On Mon, Jan 9, 2017 at 10:13 AM, dontcallitbollywood wrote:



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