What fun Karan Johar’s birthday week is! So many wonderful options for theme posts. This is a very very very long one. So long, that I had to split it in two parts, and it’s still really really long. Be warned!
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
Let’s see, we left off with the family reunited, Hrithik and Shahrukh married to Kajol and Kareena and everyone happy happy in India. Well, the sequel practically writes itself! Starting with the next generation. The original K3G had 3 couples representing 3 generations, I want 3 couples all in the same generation.
Kareena and Hrithik had one son and Kajol and Shahrukh had one daughter after the return to India. The two kids grew up together, best friends forever. And they delighted in teasing their “big brother” Krish, Kajol and Shahrukh’s first son. Also part of this “best friends” pack is Rani’s daughter from next door, Rani having gotten over her broken heart and married Abhishek (as explained in this fanfic here). Amitabh of course has retired, and has become the goofy silly loving fun playmate to them all, everyone’s honorary Grandpa. In fact, that is the opening, we see Shahrukh giving a long angry fatherly lecture about taking in a stray dog, hiding it in the store room, and discovering that it had destroyed all the food bags living them with nothing to serve the night before a big dinner. And then the camera swings around to reveal the 3 teenagers saying “sorry Papa, sorry uncle, sorry uncle” each in turn, and then Amitabh looking just as guilty and saying “sorry son”. Shahrukh finishes with an order that all of them are going to bed early and not allowed in the party as punishment, and “let that be a lesson to you!” They all look very disappointed, but as soon as he leaves, they celebrate, because none of them wanted to go to that boring grown-up party anyway, and Shahrukh’s daughter suggests that they have a party of their own in the playroom.
Reprise of Shava Shava! Except this time, instead of Kajol bringing the fun lowerclass party to the rich people, it’s the other way around. We meet grown-up Krish for the first time, when he arrives for the fancy party. He is introduced to all the proper grown-up people, brought around by his proud father, but then he steps out on the terrace in the middle of the fancy proper rich people dance number and notices the lights and music from the room where the younger kids and Amitabh are celebrating and finds himself strolling over there. He arrives, and the music stops and the kids all look embarrassed and uncomfortable, but then Amitabh is brave enough to reach out and invite Krish to join the dance, and Krish surprises himself by joining in on their silly young party.
(Maybe Vicky Kaushal as Krish? He has a sort of tall mature dignity I like)
Afterwards, Rani’s daughter announces that she has to go home because her parents are taking her away to school early the next day. Krish offers to walk her home, the other kids are kind of surprised because she has always just run between the two houses before, but Krish says that of course he has to take her home now, she is a young lady and it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Rani’s daughter is struck by this and suddenly shy as they walk home together. But then they start talking and begin to discover that they have more things in common than they expected. Krish talks about how he used to run around and be naughty, when he was a little boy, she talks about how sometimes she likes to read poetry and he surprises her by reciting her favorite poem. Their hands brush together. And suddenly they are feeling feelings, and there is a fantasy love song, each suddenly seeing the other in a new way. But Rani’s daughter is about to leave, her parents are going overseas for 2 years and taking her with them. So the best Krish can do is ask if he can write to her while she is gone.
That romance goes on the backburner, let’s move on to the next! Shahrukh and Kajol surprise the kids with an announcement the next day, they are sending them away to school, two different schools. Their daughter is shocked and furious, Kareena’s son argues that they can’t make him do that, they aren’t even his parents. Shahrukh and Kajol remind him that when his parents died (yes, I have decided to kill Kareena and Hrithik. It’s harsh, I know, but I can’t find a place for them in my plot and death seems the easiest answer) they made Shahrukh and Kajol his guardians. He and their daughter are good kids, but it’s time for them to grow up. This isn’t a punishment, they haven’t done anything wrong, it’s just time. Naturally, the kids refuse to see this argument.
Shahrukh and Kajol’s daughter is being sent to the south, to study at the best Bharat Natyam school in the country. She’s always loved to dance and this is what her teacher recommends for her next step. It will also be good for her to dedicate herself to something and work at it instead of constantly flitting from one interest to another. And Hrithik and Kareena’s son will go to London, to study at London University just like his father and uncle and grandfather before him.
And now, two more romances! In London, Kareena and Hrithik’s son is shy at first in his new school, but he arrives at his first class and a voice says “can I sit here?” and he is in love! He goes through the rest of the day in a haze, seeing the object of his affection everywhere. And then, that evening, he meets up with Rani’s daughter who is living in London with her parents and she sees right away what has happened. And promises to help. Hrithik’s son has had crushes before, but never acted on them, and this time he can’t let it just fade away into friendship. She is going to make sure that this guy really does like him.
(Somehow I am feeling Ali Faizal as the object of affection)
And so, hijinks! Rani’s daughter manages to get introduced to the guy and flirts outrageously. He doesn’t respond beyond politeness. But, just to be sure after he agrees to take her to a school dance, she kisses him. He pushes her off immediately and says that he isn’t interested in her “that way”. Only, misunderstanding! Hrithik’s son saw them kiss and thought that Rani’s daughter had betrayed him, and he had once again fallen for a straight dude. Thankfully it is cleared up quickly, Rani’s daughter insists on meeting him the next day, he is heartbroken and furious with her and yells at her for breaking the code and then, when he is all yelled out, she says “are you done? In that case, why don’t you look around the corner?” And it’s the guy! Standing there smiling and all nervous and holding a rose! They talked after the kiss, she confirmed that not only is he gay, he had a crush on Hrithik’s son TOO!!!! Everyone is happy in love in London, Rani’s daughter is secretly getting letters from Krish and dreaming of him and vice versa, and Hrithik’s son and his boyfriend are in love too.
But what is happening down south with Shahrukh’s daughter? She arrives at the airport and is already frustrated and angry because no one speaks Hindi and she can’t get a cab. She is spotted by Siddharth who offers to split a cab and help her. She is stand offish and rude but agrees. He is intrigued, she isn’t the usually shy proper girl he is used too. She explains that she is a Delhi-girl and they are all like this there. He says something smooth like “perhaps I should spend more time in Delhi” and she frowns, because she’s never had a guy flirt with her before, they’ve all been put off by her tomboyish style.
(Somehow I am feeling Kriti Sonam for this part. Don’t know if she could pull of the dancing scenes, but we can write around that)
Sid drops her with her host family, who welcome her in and immediately start smothering her, and she can’t speak the language well enough to object, plus they are so nice and clearly care about her, it wouldn’t be right. So she finds herself dressed in a proper southern-style sari, with her hair braided and flowers in it, and idli packed for her lunch when she goes off to class the next day. At first, everything goes wrong. The other girls are mean to her because she isn’t southern, the teachers yell at her for every little thing, but then finally she has her first dance class and dances out her anger and frustration and they are all so impressed, that they applaud. And also watching is Siddharth! She goes over to yell at him for stalking her, he silently takes it, and then another girl comes over and says “I’m ready to go now, thanks for the ride.” And our heroine is all embarrassed. That night, she gently pushes her host mom to get a translation of what the other girl called Sid, and smiles when she learns it means “big brother”.
Sid shows up at school again the next day, she is polite to him this time and offers to go get his sister, he says no, his sister is getting a ride from a friend today, he was here because he noticed her throwing away her lunch yesterday, he thought a Delhi girl might want to know where she could get Delhi food in the south, and he is happy to take her. She agrees immediately. And another falling in love song!!!! He takes her around Chennai, she throws away her flowers and undoes her braid and puts on a t-shirt with her sari, finding a way to keep her free style in a new way. And in the same way she finds a way to fall in love without changing herself. It hits her all of a sudden when she is talking with her host mother, she asks her if Sid is the “brother” person and then gently says something about “do your parents know you are in love?” Which is what makes her realize she is in love, this is love! Instead of shyly waiting for him to make the first move, or debating what to do about it, she calls up Sid immediately and has him meet her outside her house in the middle of the night. He thinks something terrible has happened, asks what the emergency is, and she kisses him and says “I’m in love with you.” And he smiles back and says “that’s good, because I’m in love with you.”
Everything is great for our couples, and then they receive an invitation, home to the Raichand mansion for Diwali. INTERVAL!!!!!
Second half, complications grow! Hrithik’s son has a big fight with his boyfriend because he isn’t ready to tell his parents about their relationship. Shahrukh’s daughter is the opposite, pushes for Sid to come back home with her. He doesn’t say yes immediately, instead asks reasonable questions about whether her parents even know about him yet, if they know that she would be moving down south to live with him if they get married, she gets all upset about the “if we get married” part, they have a big fight and she declares she never wants to see him again. Rani’s daughter is the only one without an issue, she is super excited about going back and finally seeing Krish in person after all their letters for 2 years, to see if their tenuous understanding will survive meeting in person.
(feeling Vivaan Shah for Hrithik’s son)
But, problems! Hrithik’s son’s boyfriend shows up anyway, and they reunite, but he still isn’t ready to come out to his family, so instead they announce that the boyfriend is Rani’s daughter’s boyfriend, and she can’t explain why that is a problem because she still hasn’t been able to talk alone with Krish and figure out what this is. Krish immediately backs off, assuming that she sees him as a boring older guy, and she assumes that means he wasn’t interested after all, still sees her as a little girl and always will. And then it just gets worse when Shahrukh introduces his new business partner, head of an up and coming firm in the south….SID!!!! Shahrukh’s daughter is furious, thinking he chased her, he tries to explain he didn’t even know she would be here, he thought he was just meeting Shahrukh in his office and then all of a sudden he was invited to spend the holiday at his house.
And so the second half turns into a dramatic series of missed connections, as the 3 couples struggle, Rani’s daughter and Krish each hiding their broken hearts, Sid and Shahrukh’s daughter fighting, and Hrithik’s son and his boyfriend secretly in love but hiding it. Until finally it all comes out. Hrithik’s son and his boyfriend are caught in bed together, and Shahrukh’s daughter takes the fall, claiming he was really in the adjoining bedroom with her. Krish is furious and starts out giving a long speech that seems like it is about his sister’s chastity, but then it turns out he is actually furious about the boyfriend seemingly cheating on Rani’s daughter, breaking her heart. Rani’s daughter explains that she doesn’t mind, he isn’t the one who broke her heart, and finally with everyone else watching they have the conversation that has been 2 years coming, admitting that they like-like each other, for real.
(Kind of want to see Alia in this role, see if she can play shy and insecure)
Sid, being more of a laidback guy, doesn’t make a big scene. He waits until he can get Shahrukh’s daughter alone and then demands to know what is happening, says he is worried about her, betraying her friend and sleeping with a guy just a week after being in love with him isn’t like her. She is all “Oh, now you know me??? After deciding you didn’t know me well enough to come to my parents house?” It turns into a big fight that finally ends with him bursting out that he didn’t want to come because he didn’t want her to take the lead again, she was the first one to say “I love you”, she initiated the first kiss, he wanted to propose in his own way, not just by default after coming back to her parents house. And he admits that he had a whole plan in place, he was going to take her to the airport, where they first met, and have a band surprise her with the song that was playing on the radio in that first cab ride they shared, and then give her the ring he had already bought. And then she gets all touched and says “how about, you go back to Hyderabad tomorrow, and I fly back the next day, and we pretend this conversation never happened, and you meet me at the airport?”
The only people left are Shahrukh, Hrithik’s son, and his boyfriend. Shahrukh can tell something is up and looks around the room asking “so, who is going to tell me what this is?” Surprise! While Hrithik’s son struggles, and his boyfriend waits for him to talk, Amitabh steps forward! He says “I think the confusion is, this young man isn’t in love with your daughter, or your friend’s daughter, he is in love with your nephew”. Everyone double takes! Amitabh explains that he always knew Hrithik’s son was gay, he was just waiting for him to tell the rest of them. He saw him with his boyfriend days ago, and was waiting for them to explain their love to the rest of the family. And then he gives a speech about how love is a wonderful thing, he only came to realize how wonderful when he lost his love (yes, I am killing off Jaya too. It’s a bloodbath!). Shahrukh may not be okay with who his nephew is, but Amitabh loves his grandson, and if Shahrukh throws him out of the house, he won’t be without family, Amitabh will always be there for him. He won’t make the same mistake in this generation, trying to decide who people can love, that he made with the last generation.
And then, jump forward! Big double engagement party, Krish and Rani’s daughter (Rani and Abhishek showing up to celebrate with them), and Sid and Shahrukh’s daughter. And, just as the audience has given up hope, we see Amitabh and Hrithik’s son and his boyfriend coming out of a back room, all dressed formally, for Shahrukh and Kajol to bring forward and bless their engagement too. HAPPY ENDING
Kuch Kuch Kuch Kuch Hota Hota Hai
(reposted from this post)
Now, theoretically, Little Anjali herself could play this role. But although I like her a lot better as an adult actress than as a child actress, I still don’t want her to be a heroine. Instead, how about Little Anjali’s Student of the Year co-star Alia Bhatt?
(Boy, SRK has really changed in the past 18 years too, hasn’t he?)
Now, I kind of had a theory when watching KKHH that Little Anjali would grow up to marry Salman. But I was told that this theory was GROSS GROSS GROSS, so I stopped sharing it. I still think it would have worked if K2H2:2 had been made a few years back. But right now, I do agree, Salman would look much much too old opposite Alia Bhatt. So instead, let’s Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania this sucker and re-imagine it for a new age!
Little Anjali Alia Bhatt goes off to the same college where her parents met, with her grandfather still serving as principal. Because he is principal (and also this school has a long history of terrible student supervision), Alia is allowed to run wild, staying out late, dating boys, doing dangerous stunts, having a wonderful time. The only person who can really reign her in is sweet sensitive Varun, her best friend. Just as Varun starts to wake up to the idea that he might love Alia “that way”, a new student arrives on campus, macho cool guy Arjun Kapoor. Alia is immediately taken by his rough demeanor and fearless attitude and doesn’t notice that Varun is trying to change their relationship into a romance. In the end, Alia confesses her love for Arjun to Varun just as Varun is about to admit his own feelings for her. Varun hides his pain within his heart and goes away to join the army.
(I know Arjun has more of a feminine vibe, but I like Varun and Alia together better. So let’s make Arjun the gender-normative one in the first half, so Varun can really “win” in the end)
4 years later, Arjun has died doing something macho (street fighting? drag racing? stuntman?). Alia has matured and lives with her grandmother Farida Jalal while her parents are overseas somewhere (put SRKajol in for more than a cameo, and the whole movie would end up being about them). A year after Arjun’s death, his last letter is delivered to her, in which he tells her that Varun loved her all along, she just didn’t see it, and in fact Arjun had come between their love story. Alia rejects this idea (one life, one heart, one love!), but Farida sneakily signs her up for an adventure camp, where Varun works now, putting bored housewives and office workers through an imaginary bootcamp. They rediscover their old friendship, etc. etc. But! Alia does not know (although the audience does) that Varun is engaged to Ileana D’Cruz (why not?). After they finally come together and Varun has the woman he loves in his arms, he glances down and notices his engagement ring, thunder thunder!!!
(They seem good together, right? You can see them as a couple? But not as good a couple as Varun and Alia)
Finally, in the end, with the encouragement through phone cameo of her parents, Alia goes to break up Varun’s wedding and confess her feelings. Varun is still conflicted, after all he made a promise. But as he is preparing to leave on the white horse, his older brother senses his internal conflict and drags him to the horse only, in the end, to pull it over to Alia while he gives a big speech about how although it is his dream to marry Varun to Ileana, Varun himself wants something else. And who plays Varun’s big brother who gives this big speech? Yes, that’s right!!! SALMAN KHAN!!!!
(I still think they make a cute couple, and if The World won’t let me put them together, at least she can move into his house as a sister-in-law. Shut up, you’re the creepy one!)