In Honor of Section 377 Dying, a Post of an Old Paper I Wrote About How Karan Johar Has Been Fighting For This For 20 Years

This is going to read differently from my normal posts.  It’s a paper I wrote years ago, that was published in a book and a journal.  So it is very academic sounding and stuff, the original even has footnotes (you can read it here).  It is also very clear and certain in its style, the way academic writing is supposed to be.  That doesn’t mean I think it is perfect and that you can’t disagree with it just as much as with any of the other stuff I write with all the “I think”s and “Possibly”s and “You could see this as”s.  Mostly I just thought it was an interesting thing to look back on today as 377 is once again dead.  Also, you get to see how I managed to sneak the phrase “molten beefcake” into an academic journal.

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Happy Birthday Nagarjuna! Santosham, A Telugu Version of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

I think I might have some strange attraction to old men?  People keep trying to sell me on Mahesh and Allu Arjun and even Naga Chaitanya, and yet I find myself drawn to old man Nagarjuna.  He’s just so much more cool and confident than those younger boys!  Although at least this movie is 15 years old, so back when he was only 42, which is almost kind of age appropriate for me!  If you squint a bit and assume a husband should be a lot older than a wife.

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Silly Sunday: Karan Johar Sequels!!! Part 1, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham Kabhi Khushi, and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Hota Hai

What fun Karan Johar’s birthday week is!  So many wonderful options for theme posts.  This is a very very very long one.  So long, that I had to split it in two parts, and it’s still really really long.  Be warned!

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Feminism Versus Feminist Film Criticism

This is a post that has been burbling around in my brain for a while, and I thought I might as well just post it.  Plus, it’s been a while since I put up one of those posts that gets everyone talking and angry with me/aggressively agreeing with me.

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Happy 19 Days to Shahrukh’s Birthday! 19 Best Costumes

I know I already did a silly one yesterday, but I’ve got another looooooooong series of fanfics coming tomorrow, and I am worn out!  So another easy silly one today. Outfits!  Although I am going to try to actually rank them, so that will give you something fun to argue about in the comments.

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Silly Sunday Post: Happy 25 Days to SRK’s Birthday! 25 Characters in Need of More Story

I was tempted to do one long post for one of these, but that would break the list pattern.  Plus, be harder to write.  So some will be longer, some will be shorter, but there will be a full 25.  And that will give you all a lot to talk about in the comments.

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I’m cleaning!!!! And Going on a Treasure Hunt

Hello blog people!  I have nothing to say to you today.  Normally Saturday is when I put up reviews of the movie I saw the night before, but my friend Dina was busy this week, so I didn’t see anything.  And now I have to run around doing a million things so there isn’t really any time for me to write a full blog post on something else.  Well, not yet.  Maybe tonight.  In the meantime, you can have what is now becoming traditional, the weekend post that just describes my day and maybe shows you a song you haven’t seen in a while.

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Sexy Video Post, Just ‘Cause (Male and Female Gazes Welcome)

I just spent 4 hours straight on work phone calls, I am tired, I don’t want to write a think-y post, I just want to be happy and indulgent!  If you are in a similar state, I am here for you with sexy videos.

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Silly Sunday Speculative Post: In Honor of Karan Johar’s Birthday, All of His Movie’s Endings Fixed!

I love Karan.  Love love love.  Both as an artist and a public figure.  But I have to admit, he has a problem with endings.  Every film either drags on too long or ends too soon.  There’s always a feeling of “wait, that’s all there is?” at the end of it.  And so, as my birthday gift in advance to him, I am going to fix all that! (real birthday post will go up in a couple days on the actual birthday)

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Tuesday Telugu: Santosham, A Love Story Between Two People Who Can’t Admit They Are In Love

Happy Tuesday!  Another Nagarjuna movie this week.  I think I might have some strange attraction to old men?  People keep trying to sell me on Mahesh and Allu Arjun and even Naga Chaitanya, and yet I find myself drawn to old man Nagarjuna.  He’s just so much more cool and confident than those younger boys!  Although at least this movie is 15 years old, so back when he was only 42, which is almost kind of age appropriate for me!  If you squint a bit and assume a husband should be a lot older than a wife.

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Karan Johar’s An Unsuitable Boy: A Summary In Filmic Terms, Part 1

I know a lot of my readers are reading this, and I wanted a place for us all to discuss.  I also know a lot of my readers don’t want to bother but might want a preview of what it says.  And I think I have found a way to satisfy both of you!  Without feeling like I am breaking some kind of plagiarism rule or skipping important parts.

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Silly Sunday Post: Sequels That Only Exist In My Mind

Last week I had the GENIUS realization that Dear Zindagi is clearly a sequel to Josh, in which Shahrukh’s bad-boy biker had gone through intensive therapy to resolve his anger issues, and ended up becoming a therapist himself.  From some of the comments, it sounds like I am not the only person who plays around with the idea of what would be the best possible sequel-continuation of a certain story.  Feel free to share your own ideas in the comments, and read the post if you want to know mine!

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Opportunity to vote for Kuch Kuch!

Or whatever, but let’s not kid ourselves, it should be Kuch Kuch.  It should always be Kuch Kuch.

Anyway, rediff has a poll as part of their week long Salman birthday coverage where you can vote for his best movie.  I don’t know if I would really call Kuch Kuch Hota Hai a Salman movie, but they included it, so now I must vote for it!

You can vote here. (Maine Pyar Kiya and Bajrangi Bhaijaan are currently battling for number 1)

SRKajol: A historical review

So, with this new movie, there’s going to be a lot of comparisons with past SRKajol films and judgments and greatest hits lists and so on.  So I thought, why not join the party!  Before I’ve even see Dilwale, so my judgement is not yet sullied.  And then I realized, picking a #1 all time best SRKajol film is easy, but the 5 (6, now) after that are hard.

#1, of course, is DDLJ.  I say that not just because it is my favorite movie of all time, but because, objectively speaking, it is the highest quality film they have been in together, and the most beloved.  The script deals with issues ranging from structural feminism to first versus second generation immigrants to marriage as a personal or societal undertaking.  Plus, it has Shahrukh’s all time greatest acting moment:

If you don’t remember all the other awesome bits of the film, YRF conveniently put together this remix for the 20 year anniversary:

(I think I like the remix better than the original, don’t hate me!)

But what comes after DDLJ?

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Boring Industrial Inside Baseball stuff

Notice how I put the really exciting picture at the top so we would remember why this really matters?

So, currently, the highest Shahrukh movie on the all time gross list for India is number 5.  NUMBER 5!!!  The shame of it!  Ahead of him is PK, Bajrangi Bhaijaan, Bahubali, and Dhoom 3.  The whole list is here on wikipedia.

Now, you know what all these films have in common?  They are all from the past 5 years.  And the film at the top is usually from within the past 2 years.  In America, we are used to that, the top grossers are always fairly recent, but in India that wasn’t always the case.  Mother India set a box office record in 1957 that stayed in place for 3 years until Mughal-E-Azam surpassed it in 1960.  Mughal-E-Azam held the record until Sholay beat it in 1975.  Sholay  held the record until Hum Aapke Hain Koun came along in 1994.  Hum Aapke Hain Koun was toppled quickly by DDLJ in 1995.  Then DDLJ lost it’s crown to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai in 1998.  That record held until 2001 when it was beaten by both Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and Gadar: Ek Prem Katha.  Gadar held the record until 3 Idiots in 2009, at which point everyone breathed a sigh of release because they could start pretending Gadar never happened (very very problematic messages in that film).  And then 3 Idiots held the record for a long time, by a big big margin, until it was finally beaten by Chennai Express in 2013.  All Shahrukh fans cheered and celebrated and laughed in the faces of their Aamir-fan friends, or at least that’s what I did.  Truly, it was a magical time!


(Shahrukh, take a bow!  You earned it!)

And then about 2 months later, Dhoom 3 came out and Aamir was on top again.  It stayed up there for a year, until PK came out, and then Aamir had the two top spots.  PK is still up there, but Bajrangi Bhaijaan did really well this summer and came close to beating it.  And Bahubali, of course, is a huge deal since it is the only non-Hindi film up there (although it was distributed by a Bombay based production house, Dharma, which is very important in terms of overseas awareness and national reach in India).

So, on the micro-level, this just means we all need to buy as many tickets for Dilwale as humanly possible in order to return Shahrukh to his rightful ranking.  I don’t care if you are actually seeing Star Wars, you buy your ticket for Dilwale!!!

But on a macro-level, in terms of global trends, economics, and the future of the industry, what does all of this mean and where does it come from?

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