Thanksgiving Report! I've Already Thrown Away One Pie Crust

Well, I am having a difficult Thanksgiving, but I think it is just one of those weeks were stuff goes wrong.

Did I tell you Albie Dog bit me? He did! Without realizing it. You know how, as a dog owner, you sometimes notice that your dog is chewing on something unidentifiable, and then you have to shove your hand in their mouth and yank whatever that thing is out before they manage to chew and swallow it? So, I was doing that, and Albie Dog was desperately trying to chew at the same time, and one of his molars knicked me. That was on Monday and it kind of set the tone for the week.

Yesterday, I accidentally dipped my hair in hot wax. You know those hot wax room smeller things? You plug them into an outlet and the wax melts and smells good? I have one behind my couch. And yesterday morning I was sitting on the couch and I undid my braid and flipped my hair out to start brushing it, and then I reached for a bunch to brush and felt something warm and sticky on my hand. Yes, I had flipped the bottom 3 inches right into the hot wax. So my hair became hard and waxy, but also kind of nice and cinnamon smelling.

Image result for asoka shahrukh khan
Looked like this, but smelled like cinnamon

I committed to doing the apple pie and the Ancestral Pink dip for Thanksgiving. I’m not one of those incompetent young people, I’ve made these exact same items multiple Thanksgivingses before. No big deal. Last night I was tired after a surprisingly long day at work (who calls in for technical support 5 minutes to 5 the day before Thanksgiving?), so I just peeled and sliced the apples. This morning I got up and got out the ingredients and started working on the crust. It’s not the crust I usually make (I usually make Aunt Francis’ pie crust, this is Mom’s Mom’s pie crust), but even so it just didn’t feel quite right. It was really soft, but I thought “maybe this is one of those crusts that you fit into the pan instead of rolling out?” I brought it over to the pie pan and started pushing it into place and it felt really weird. So finally I checked the recipe. Aha! Not 1 CUP of shortening, 1/THIRD CUP of shortening. I blame my grandmother’s handwriting.

Image result for laddoo
It should feel kind of like laddoo, instead it felt like I had shoved my hand in a can of Ghee.

So that went in the trash and I started over. This time it was dry enough to roll out, but still kind of temperamental. In the transfer from work table to pie pan, I lost cohesion of half the crust. So I had to do that thing where you take all the little bits of crust and kind of piece them together until you fill the whole pan, instead of a nice smooth sheetlike draping of the the whole thing. Anyway, it’s in there now!

And that is the point that I realized I forgot to buy cream cheese and can’t make the dip. So, new plan! I write this blog post and vent, and then I go out to the Walgreens next to the Starbucks and get coffee and cream cheese. And then I come back and the whole world will be better. Also, maybe I shower and wash the wax out of my hair.

And then watch this song as a reward

10 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Report! I've Already Thrown Away One Pie Crust

    • Thankful for you too! I have now had coffee and am feeling marginally better. But I am procrastinating about facing the pie filling, because while I had infinite pie crust ingredients, I only have one set of apples and I can’t waste them.

      On Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 10:30 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  1. Happy Thanksgiving! This morning my children were finishing up the human Dora movie and my father told me I had to watch the ending credits because it was a Bollywood number, and he was RIGHT! Indian dance numbers have invaded American children’s movies. SWEET! Speaking of which, I’m sure your pie will be delicious even if I ends up looking less like than stellar. Happy Thanksgiving!

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    • Happy Thanksgiving!!!! And now I want to watch the human Dora movie, except that I’ve never seen the cartoon version. Do I need to first watch the several years of cartoons or can I just leap right in?

      And meanwhile I have now put the pie in the oven, almost cooked it at the wrong temperature but an emergency call to my mother fixed that, and now I just have to wait for the timer to go off while watching Thanksgiving episodes of TV shows. Ahhhhh.

      On Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 11:02 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • You don’t have to watch the Dora movie, just YouTube the ending song. I’d paste a link but I’m willfully technologically impaired and only have a fancy phone at my disposal. Enjoy your quiet time, I’m hiding in the bathroom while my oldest discovers all the sounds his Grandparents piano can make.

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        • That’s what I used to do! And then when my Grandma died, I took the piano. It weights a thousand pounds and makes every move infinitely more complicated and expensive, but now I can bang away on it whenever I want as much as I want.

          On Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 11:57 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. Happy Thanksgiving! Yesterday was Thursday here and I found duck salami in the grocery so I did eat a bit of bird. (Turkey is theoretically possible, but you have to have an unusually large oven and order it from a specialty store). Ancestral Pink Dip? That sounds, and I mean this in a nice way, really Midwestern.

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    • It is really really midwestern. One of two cream cheese based ancestral family recipes that usually grace the Thanksgiving table.

      On Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 4:23 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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