Mini FanFic Post: Pick an Ending for the Kareena-Deepika-Akshay Baby Movie!

I wrote this FanFic on Sunday but just kind of sketched in the outline. And then we talked and came up with multiple variations on the story.

So, original basic outline! Kareena and Akshay are having fertility issues, the doctor breaks the news that the problem is with Kareena, not Akshay. Akshay goes out to celebrate his manliness, and sleeps with a Naach girl (Deepika). A month later she shows up at his office and tells him she is pregnant. Coincidentally that same day, Kareena broaches the idea of an open adoption. Akshay plays the saintly husband and introduces Deepika as a woman in trouble that he found for Kareena. Kareena invites Deepika to live with them after she sees the terrible place Deepika currently rents. The two women get closer, the truth comes out, and in a surprising twist Kareena ends up siding with Deepika and throwing out Akshay. Akshay in petty vengeance sues for custody as the baby’s biological father. Kareena gives up her rights and puts all her support behind Deepika because she thinks Deepika will be a better parent than Akshay and Kareena just wants what is best for the baby. Happy ending, Deepika gets full custody but then draws up a document making Kareena a joint legal guardian. The two of them continue to live together as an awesome co-parenting team.

Image result for kareena deepika

Now, options!

A. Deepika has a little half romance. Sid M is Deepika’s doctor, he is very kind and smiley and gazing-adoringly-from-a-distancey. Kareena invites him to the baby’s 6 month party and kind of maneuvers Dips and Sid together.

B. Kareena has a little half romance. Akshay’s best friend Saif has been his confidant through all of this, although he also keeps telling Akshay he should appreciate Kareena more and he is a fool. Until he learns that Akshay is planning to sue for custody just out of pettiness, and that is too far. He goes to Kareena and tells her everything, even offers to testify against Akshay in court. And Deepika invites him to the 6 month baby party and kind of maneuvers him and Kareena together since Saif clearly has a thing for her, and is a decent guy.

C. Sonam Kapoor is the third friend. She is the fertility doctor and Kareena’s friend. She also has a sad backstory, her husband divorced her when she refused to quit med school and have babies, and her family threw her out because of the divorce, now she helps other couples start their families but is all lonely herself. Deepika confesses everything to her under cover of doctor-patient confidentiality, and Sonam supports her and helps her tell the truth to Kareena.

d. Sonam has a full start to finish romance. Rana Duggabatti is a super sexy former patient who has to keep coming around to talk about his frozen sperm that his wife is trying to get in their divorce, and Sonam keeps falling over herself and saying “penis” by accident around him and stuff, until he finally admits he just kept coming around because he thinks she is adorable but wasn’t brave enough to ask her out. Happy ending, Sonam is visibly pregnant with an adoring Rana at the babies 6 month party.

D. Sonam and Deepika fall in love. Basically the same as option A, just with Sonam instead of Sid M. as the doctor.

E. Sonam and Kareena fall in love. Basically the same as option C, but with Kareena instead of Rana Duggabatti. Sonam is adorably awkward and weird around Kareena the whole time, until Deepika finally gets her to confess her feelings, and then gets Kareena to realize her feelings as well.

F. Akshay suffers in loneliness at a bar. We last see him getting drunk and looking at happy photos of his son’s 6 month party on social media.

G. Akshay is publicly humiliated on purpose. Deepika and Kareena invite him to the 6 month party, just so he can be there while they give a big speech about the horrible things he did, as all his friends and bosses and family listen. His boss fires him, his friends turn away, and his mother slaps him and declares he is no son of hers any more.

H. Akshay is publicly humiliated by accident. He learns about the 6 month ceremony and misunderstands something about a ceremony needing both parents. He shows up at the party, ready to be a big star, and is there watching to see Kareena and Deepika do the ceremony without him, while his family and friends happily watch and no one misses him. Also, Kareena is a lesbian now and Deepika is making out with hot hot Sid M.

Mix and match! Put together your own dream movie!

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