I have a terrible sickness where I can’t let anyone around me be sad. It’s horrible! And it results in me doing silly things like a post specifically designed to cheer up one particular reader.
(reading this over, I have a definite personal preference for Hrithik. But don’t let that sway you!)
Historical Film Hotness
Three Friends on a Road Trip Driving Song
Zoya Akhtar Directing
Chemistry with Rani Mukherjee
Dhoom Songs
Overly Proud of Themselves Photoshoots
Child Star Cuteness
Unfortunate Expensive Historic Epic Mistake
Hilarious Sweater Looks
Queer Energy Onscreen
Shirtless with Lady
Sexy Librarian Look
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Recent Big Dumb Fun Film
Based on these totally objective measures, which is best?
Also, does ANYONE not start to giggle when looking at this gif?
And I won’t go through my choices for all of them but I will go out on a dangerous limb and say Rani-Hrithik > Rani-Aamir. Okay, now throw things at me.
dontcallitbollywood 
😘😘😘 Thank you! I feel better already. My thoughts, let me give them to you:
1. Historical Film Hotness: Aamir was at peak hotness in Lagaan, but this is still no contest. Aish agrees with me.
https://twitter.com/BollywoodNewbie/status/1193671706717483008
2. Three Friends on a Road Trip Driving Song: ZNMB. I looooove that song and it’s genuinely touching with Hrithik in the car after kissing Katrina (also, Zoya got him to agree to a closeup of his thumb which is such a cool visual for someone letting go of their idea of how they should move through the world)
3. Zoya Akhtar Directing: No contest, Aamir takes this. One of his all time best performances.
4. Chemistry with Rani Mukherjee: Ghulam all the way. Psycho Hrithik in MDK is amusing but not really comparable to Aamir & Rani fighting the mob.
5. Dhoom Songs: This isn’t fair to Aamir at all 😆
6. Overly Proud of Themselves Photoshoots: Ditto
7. Child Star Cuteness: Believe it or not I’m giving this one to Aamir. It’s the ears.
8. Unfortunate Expensive Historic Epic Mistake: Aamir for pure laughs
9. Hilarious Sweater Looks: Ditto (that hair!!!!!)
10. Queer Energy Onscreen: Do I really need to answer this one?
11. Shirtless with Lady: Aside from Hrithik, Lisa Haydon alone gives that photo the victory
12. Sexy Librarian Look: Aamir! Hrithik is, er, unconvincing as a smrt person
13. Recent Big Dumb Fun Film: Do I really need to answer this one (part 2)?
They pretty much tied on this, what does that say about me?
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Hey, I did an odd number without realizing it! That was smart of me. Anyway, I tallied you up and you gave Hrithik 7 of them, so you need to send a break-up letter to Aamir know, your love is dead.
Now I have to do my tally just out of curiosity:
1. Historic hotness: gonna give this one to Aamir. Hrithik is too buff for me! Plus, pornstache
2. Three friends driving song: DCH 4 Ever!!!! I watched it in college and it imprinted on me
3. Hrithik! The quality difference between his usual work and what Zoya brought out in LBC is just so huge. Plus, his performance is almost entirely wordless and internal while Aamir has all those big emotional moments in Talaash.
4. Psycho Hrithik and Rani, always
5. Dhoom Songs: If Aamir wanted life to be fair, he shouldn’t have pretended to tap dance
6. Photoshoots: I think I might give this one to Aamir. At least he is proud of his personality, not his abs
7. Child Star Cuteness: Always Aamir, those ears make him the clear winner
8. Epic Historic Mistake: I don’t know, I think I might prefer Mohenjo over Mangal. Epic alligator wrestling over British wrestling, always
9. Hilarious Sweater Looks: Yes, this was my laptop wallpaper photo for a while. Always Aamir
10. Queer Energy onscreen: Yeah, definitely Hrithik
11. Shirtless with Lady: I’m giving it to Aamir, at least he looks a little ashamed of himself
12. Sexy Librarian Look: But Hrithik is so much sexier! Giving it to him
13. Big Dumb Film: Yeah, obviously Hrithik for the win
And I am also almost tied! 6 to Aamir, 7 to Hrithik.
On Wed, Jan 15, 2020 at 10:57 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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You keep mentioning this concept of too buff or too good-looking 🤔
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It’s FREAKY!!!! I like men who look like humans.
On Wed, Jan 15, 2020 at 11:19 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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“If Aamir wanted life to be fair, he shouldn’t have pretended to tap dance.” Hahahahahahahahahaaaahaaahahaha
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I feel like I need to embroider this on a throw cushion.
On Wed, Jan 15, 2020 at 11:34 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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I will not say anything inappropriate. I will not say anything inappropriate. Okay. I CANNOT stop laughing at the Mangal Panday imagine!!!
Also, Hrithik all the way!!!! Although, if you add a category of young/newbie Aamir vs. Hrithik, it might be a tie. Aamir is QSQT/ Hum Hai Rahi Pray Ke/Jo Jeeta/Dil/Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahi is on par with Hrithik (to me) from Kaho Na Pyar Hai, KKKG, Mission Kashmir, Mujse Dosti Karoge in terms of cuteness in very different ways!
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Pretty sure you meant “Mangal Panday image” not “imagine”, but also pretty sure that was a moderate Freudian slip.
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It totally was a Freudian slip!!! And now I am laughing at the image and my unfortunate typo. I seriously have a problem!
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Even though I dislike Aamir I have a deep and unfortunate attraction to him, especially with that idiotic moustache and the hair. It’s an affliction. Hrithik is cute and stupid, I should like him more! Maybe it’s just because Aamit is domineering but adorably pixie sized. Anyway this is why I try to avoid Aamir like I avoid all the Khans.
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Now I am picturing Aamir texting you to invite you to lunch, and you texting back “no no! I’m sick!” just in case you are overwhelmed and tackle him over the salad. You are right though, he is adorably domineering.
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I never thought of Aamir being a Tiny Alpha but he totally is and it isn’t Chihuahua energy or Napoleon energy either. I’m impressed. Though I’m cackling over the idea of Popka having a hate shag with Aamir.
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It’s the Sarfarosh effect! Smallest man in the room, but smartest man in the room so everyone defers without bluster or bravado on his part. I guess the same in Talaash, until he started losing his mind.
On Wed, Jan 15, 2020 at 7:05 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:
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No, it’s a quiet dominance which is worse. I’m not even kidding, if he’s the same in real life as he seems (which of course might not be the case at all) he is absolutely the sort of person I’d sleep with and it’s terrible, because he’s terrible and I don’t even particularly like his movies.
Uuugggghh.
If he invited me to lunch I’d have to make everyone I know stop me from going.
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Historical film hotness: Hrithik though Lagaan was probably the only movie Aamir might be considered sexy and not cute
Road trip movie: Dil Chahta is a much better movie but if we’re rating just on hotness, then obviously Hrithik. That facial hair on Aamir is repulsive.
Zoya Aktar Directing: Hrithik again easily
Chemistry with Rani: Definitely Aamir and Rani. Never though Hrithik and Rani had any chemistry
Dhoom songs: Obviously Hrithik. Poor Aamir. Nobody else would win this anyway.
Overly Proud Photoshoots: both look gross. Aamir trying to be sexy is never a good idea and these are times I like Hrithik the least
Child Star cuteness: Hrithik. Just comparing Aamir with Azad and Azad is so much cuter. He’s such a sweet little thing. Maybe he got it from his mom.
Unfortunate historical mistake: Both are horrible but Mangal Pandey is still watchable. When Hrithik’s movies are bad, they are sooooo bad.
Hilarious sweater looks: Both look horrible again but this is not the worst. You missed out on those belly sweaters Hrithik used to wear. He was so proud of it that he used to give interviews about how he bought sweaters and then cut off the bottom so they would be really short. 👀 Then he would parade around showing his navel.
Queer energy: Aamir makes a cute girl but Hrithik wins this. It’s good that War did it deliberately because Hrithik gives off that vibe in many movies, not just War. Maybe it’s because of the way the camera lusts after him. He never seems that straight.
Shirtless with lady: Neither. These are too try-hard for my taste. Hrithik always looks more in love with himself than any woman. And Aamir is not sexy at all and I really dislike the concept of a woman at his feet. Just no.
Sexy Librarian: Neither. Hrithik looks like a himbo librarian, like he’s playing dress-up in the bedroom and not an actual librarian. And Aamir looks like an uncle type here.
Big Dumb film: Sue me but I didn’t enjoy War at all. But Thugs was 10 times worse. So I’ll go with War.
So overall, Hrithik is hotter but it was an unfair comparison. Poor Aamir, this is the wrong category for him.
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