Discussion Post: If a Genie Gave You Only One of These Wishes, Which Would You Pick? (Or, Would You Rather Karan Gets Married, or Alia Doesn’t?)

No, you can’t wish for infinite wishes! Genie’s are sick of the little smart aleck kids who say that. You can only have ONE wish, and it is strictly Indian film related, and here are your choices. Be warned, they are HARD!!!!

I’m not doing stuff like “Dips and Ranveer have a baby”, because we don’t really have to waste a wish on that. Just stuff that seems like it might not actually without the intervention of a Genie

Alia Dumps Ranbir

Karan Johar Finds Love, Gets Married

Anushka Shetty and Prabhas Get Married

Reema and Zoya Get Married and Have Babies

Shahrukh Publishes His Autobiography

Farhan Akhtar Makes Don 3

Akshay Kumar Retires

Okay, you can pick ONLY ONE!!!! Which one is it? Or do you have a different wish from the ones I listed?

Feel free to use reasoning like “Reema and Zoya are essentially married, so I’m not wasting a wish on that” or “I want SRK’s bio more than anything, so that is my selfish wish” or whatever other logical theory you have.

I’m going with “Karan Gets Married” because I am hoping for a domino effect. If he gets married, Zoya and Reema could get married, PLUS Alia would have a healthy relationship model which would encourage her to dump Ranbir. And maybe Zoya-Reema getting married and taking a maternity leave will force Farhan to actually make a film for his production house instead of just producing Zoya-Reema stuff and then I get Don 3.

45 thoughts on “Discussion Post: If a Genie Gave You Only One of These Wishes, Which Would You Pick? (Or, Would You Rather Karan Gets Married, or Alia Doesn’t?)

  1. SRK autobiography.

    At the end of the day, I don’t really care about these people’s love lives, not enough to waste my sole wish on it anyways. They’ll live their lives and make their mistakes and successes, just like the rest of us.

    But SRK auto, if in depth, would be insight not only into the industry but also his mind.

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    • And the SRK auto gives you an actual “thing”. Like, Alia could break up with Ranbir and then start dating someone even worse or something. If the goal is “I care about Alia and want her to be happy”, any happiness is necessarily transitory. But a book is a book is a book, you always have it.

      Still not changing my vote, because happiness always has value, but I can see your view.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 1:24 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Keep your vote, I like the domino effect of your vote.

        As for my vote,
        I think most of them have their heads on straight enough that they’ll find their own ways to happiness.

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        • Reflects on Life just said all the exact things I was going to say, so just…seconded. (Plus autobiography would be good for the book business, and I like things that make it possible for people to publish more books.)

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          • Thanks Emily!

            And I agree, anything substantial to promote book publishing and book reading 😀

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          • And I’m all about getting people back to see movies in theaters! What if his book released, and also a 2 hour movie of Shahrukh reading it aloud that was in theaters only?

            On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 9:00 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  2. I wish that Parineeti and Arjun could become decent actors who I’d want to see in theaters rather than roll my eyes every time they come on screen. Parineeti especially – because Arjun seems mature irl, whereas I just feel Parineet’s obsession for losing weight actually somehow worsened any talent she had.

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    • Excellent wish! And if they were good actors, than people would write movies towards their talent, which would mean more troubled young heroes from Arjun and more peppy happy rom-com heroines from Pari. And the whooooooole industry would improve.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 1:38 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  3. I want Akshay to have a change of heart, appologise for what he represents now, make a movie with women and LET THE WOMEN SHINE and later retire in Canada forever.

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    • So ultimately retire, but in a series of steps that starts with an apology and one final film done RIGHT.

      What about a kind of “making amends” tour? He has to remake all of his recent horrible films, correctly, before he is allowed to leave. So a better version of Naam Shabana, Toilet, Padman, Mission Mangal, and Good Newwz. And only after doing that, he is allowed to retreat to Canada for ever.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 2:05 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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        • His last several films look, to most of us here, as though they were damaged in a need to prop-up Akshay’s stardom. For instance Mission Mangal where he got several loooooooong speeches that cut into the time given to the female characters, making their story lines abrupt and cut off. Or Good Newwz where his big marijuana humor section meant we lost time having Kareena and Kiara interact. It’s especially noticeable when he is supposed to be dealing with a woman’s issue, and yet the women in the film get far less screentime than he does, as in Toilet when the real life story of women protesting lack of toilets is transformed into Akshay, a man, solving everything.

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          • Margaret prohibits politics on the blog so I will only say that I prefer people with a spine, and Akshay doesn’t have any and he is also a hypocrite.

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          • But specifically referring to his movie life, would you agree with my description in the comment I gave? Or am I crazy and imagining things? I always get nervous when I speak for the group.

            On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 3:13 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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          • Yes, of course I agree with your description. People seem to like those movies, but I don’t understand why.

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    • What does it say that you didn’t even consider voting for the “good” stuff like SRK’s book or Karan or Zoya getting married?

      Probably that you are an optimistic person who expects all good things to happen to good people and so the only time a genie is required is when you need bad things to happen to bad people.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 3:22 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • Well, it’s what I have the strongest feeling about. But also, if people want to get married, they will, and I don’t want them to be unhappy, it’s their choice. But I’d be fine with Akshay being unhappy.

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  4. I wouldn’t use the wish for people getting married cos its their life, and they should know better (this is for you Alia and Prabhas!!). I would use it to get Akshay to retire, and move back (along with his annoying wife) to Canada.Just so sick of his movies and mansplaining! Looks like this is a popular choice haha

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  5. I don’t care about any of these people’s love lives – break up, get married, whatever I don’t care.
    But it’s a tough tough tough choice between SRK’s autobiography and Akshay’s retirement. Both would bring me so much satisfaction. But ultimately, I think I have to go with Akshay’s retirement especially if he takes his annoying wife with him. See, I don’t have SRK’s biography right now either and I’m still living so even if it never happens, I’ll survive. But Akshay’s retirement is a dream, a wish, a fantasy, something generations will thank us for.

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    • So better to remove the pain you are living with, then go for the happiness you are surviving without? this makes sense.

      Although in the larger sense both of these things will happen eventually! Akshay can’t live forever, and surely SRK wouldn’t have been writing the book if he never intended to publish it. Right?

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  6. I have only seen Akshay in his cameo in Om Shanti Om (I think?) and in Padman and I felt like I suffered through the whole movie with that one which kind of put me off of him in a big way. If there’s a recommendation for me to try this weekend (read this as: I’ve already wished him away so I don’t need to waste my wish on him) — I would, out of choices given, wish for SRK’s autobiography because of the wildly different paths he’s been down and the different ways you can approach talking about his life.

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    • It is fascinating to wonder how Shahrukh himself would approach his life, after so many other people have told the story.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 9:41 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • I watched the David Letterman special they put on Netflix and I would love to see him get to tell these stories without being led along in a ‘plotline’ style interview. That whole special….man. It was so uncomfortable, it felt like Shahrukh was mentally kicking himself for agreeing to it at times–an interviewer who didn’t seem to know how to ask questions of this guy who is a superstar in a large part of the world but who doesn’t exactly have a presence in the media-consumption of Americans the way that people like Jackie Chan or Ken Watanabe do. Or maybe I was reading it totally wrong and coming at it with unreasonable expectations for what it would/could be…?

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  7. I wish Salman gets smarter and choose better projects, scripts and films in the future. There’s still plenty of possible characters he could play and explore instead of sticking to the usual.

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  8. Selfishly I want Don 3. It is the only thing that would actually affect me. I would watch it, and then I would have another Don movie I could see with my kids, and another movie with SRK being cool and creepy. Everything else is about other people, but Don 3, is in a small way, about me.

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    • Let’s be selfish together! I just really want to know how the story ends. And hey, my Domino theory has Farhan going back to work while Reema and Zoya are on maternity leave.

      On Mon, Jan 27, 2020 at 9:55 PM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  9. If I have only one wish I would like to make a wish that makes me happy…and related to Hindi/Indian Cinema it is only ShahRukh who really imports to me. I don’t watch any Akshay-movies since long, I’m not interested in Karan anymore and the private life of other people is just in their responsibility…I don’t wish them anything bad, it would be nice if they can live in harmony with themselves, but it’s not what matters to me in the long run.

    No, it’s not ShahRukh’s biography, I’d wish for (it isn’t finished, anyway, and there is still so much to live), nor Don3 (I don’t need it…and ShahRukh neither…and Farhan is stupid in having avoided the responsibility to follow suite to the last scene of Don2), yet something I know it would make ShahRukh happy…and when he is happy, I’m too 🙂

    So, my one whish would be that he can realise another of his dreams: Make a movie that has an impact around the world and gives him an oscar … as Roberto Benigni’s comedy-drama “La Vita é bella” (Life is beautiful – which ShahRukh adores) did for the Italian actor (and director/writer).

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  10. I may be overthinking this genie thing, but I think I would feel bad forcing relationships between people. Maybe Karan is just happier single.

    Though I can definitely wish for society to change so that he could marry whoever he likes/Reema and Zoya could marry and go on that maternity leave you so desperately want. In that sense, I‘m pretty sure that’s the same wish. And one that would benefit tons of other couples, too.

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    • Karan says all the time that he wants to be in a serious relationship, but he could just be fooling himself and the reason he isn’t in one is because he doesn’t really really want it. You are right, it’s a dangerous game.

      I’m more worried that Zoya-Reema may not actually want kids. But I can still wish for society to change so their parents can force them to have a big wedding, and then they can go on a long honeymoon, and then Farhan has to come back to work and make Don 3.

      On Tue, Jan 28, 2020 at 8:35 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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  11. If I have to choose from these options, it’ll be the Akshay one. I don’t care that much about personal lives . I would love for SRK to have another shot at Don, but I’m not sure Farhan even has that hunger for directing anymore. I don’t need to wish for the autobiography because I’m sure it’ll happen – now or 10 years on, he still has so much life to live, let him take his own sweet time with it.
    What I really wish right now is for the industry to stop the shameless pandering and sycophancy  and develop some integrity and spine. That’s all I’ll say without getting into politics.
    An apolitical wish would be for stories about mature characters- men and women. Give the Ranis, Juhis, Madhuris the roles they deserve, cast the Khans opposite them playing their age with all the experiences that come with it. Basically asking the industry to grow up!

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    • Alisa/BollywoodNewbie was just asking for suggestions for classic Masala films to watch, and it’s really interesting how varied and interesting the characters were back then. Even if they were younger actors, they were playing adult people who lived their lives and did things. Something like Blackmail where Raakhee lives with her father and has a serious long term boyfriend and Dharmendra is a hardworking business owner, you could do the same thing today with any of the “adult” actors. It doesn’t have to be widow/widower or divorced or even with grown kids, just make them people with jobs and lives.

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    • How about just wishing for The Legend of Maula Jatt to release? Or is that too likely to waste a Genie’s wish on?

      On the other hand, after being spoiled by Humsafar, I think I may rather that Fawad and Mahira do a mature miniseries together so I get a whole 20 hours of them instead of a measly 3.

      On Wed, Jan 29, 2020 at 8:53 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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      • No Maula Jatt- too less romance & less Mahira. Mini series romance on Netflix would be good. More of them & less release hassles. Competing business rivals who wear glamorous clothes & go to exotic location. Give me glamour & drama,genie.

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    • Oh wait! I didn’t think this through! Domino effect! Fawad and Mahira do a mature romance that releases in India, it is a blockbuster sleeper hit, suddenly the Hindi film industry has to up its game both in terms of hiring attractive actors who can act and writing really good mature scripts. All Good Things Come to the World. Yes, this is an excellent wish.

      On Wed, Jan 29, 2020 at 8:53 AM dontcallitbollywood wrote:

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