I’m home, I’m eating oreos in my PJs, it’s time to treat myself to writing fanfic. Woo-hoo! Margaret Party Time!

Sequel to Hrithik-Sanya-Anil Movie

You know the movie HolyMuffinSallie and Alisa and I wrote? HolyMuffinSallie and I had more to say and wrote a sequel! And at least the start of a triquel.

Right, so, in the first movie Hrithik is Hrithik (famous movie star no one treats seriously), Sanya is a humble AD who dreams of directing her own film but no one respects her, and Anil Kapoor is an accountant who has secretly written a brilliant screenplay. Sanya and Anil start working together, then Hrithik finds the script and insists on producing and staring, he and Sanya fall in love (her as she realizes he’s dumb but very kind and truly respects her intelligence and talent, and is actually good at the producing part; and him as he realizes for the first time that a smart woman appreciates him), and Anil finally gets up the nerve to go after the hot widow who lives down the hall (Juhi). Movie comes out, is a big hit, last minute sacrifices (Anurag Kashyap steals credit as producer and Hrithik nobly lets him in order to protect Sanya’s director credit), and finally Sanya and Hrithik confess their love and move in together while Sanya moves on to directing another film and Hrithik moves on to acting, but with more respect on set.

Now, sequel! Sanya and Hrithik have been living together for a year, and Hrithik is planning a fabulous romantic proposal. He has a whole dance routine worked out (cold open of the film is him leading dozens of dancers in a final rehearsal), a massive diamond, and so on and so forth. But just as they are sitting down to dinner, where Hrithik is going to pull out the diamond and then do the whole routine, Anil bursts in all excited because he has finally finished his screenplay and needs Sanya and Hrithik to read it right away. Hrithik is standoffish and weird, finally says he isn’t involved Sanya and Anil’s work anyway and leaves the room. Sanya is hurt and worried that Hrithik feels left out, when in reality of course he had to rush to the kitchen where 30 dancers are hiding under tables in order to pay them off and sneak them out of the house.

The rest of the movie cuts back and forth between the “real” story and the “film” story as Sanya and Anil work to put it together. In the “real” story, the proposal-that-wasn’t keeps having reverberations. Sanya can’t figure out where their relationship is going or what Hrithik is thinking, and thinks maybe Hrithik resents how hard she works. Plus, Hrithik’s famous ex-girlfriend Kareena shows up having just broken up with her latest famous boyfriend. Hrithik and Kareena were the golden couple back when they were young and fresh, the media loves their romance, every newspaper is talking up their everlasting chemistry and so on. And Hrithik and Kareena have all these old jokes and stories, and look so good together, Sanya starts worrying that she is holding Hrithik back somehow. He should be with a gorgeous movie star who understands his world, who won’t embarrass him on talk shows, who can look good in an evening gown at awards shows, who can go with him to awards shows because she isn’t working 24 hours a day prepping for a film.

And Hrithik thinks Sanya is getting bored with him, she isn’t talking to him about her work any more, doesn’t seem to care that he is spending all this time with Kareena like she is relieved to not have him around. Maybe they are just too different, maybe someone who is spoiled and superficial as a movie star can’t manage to have a life with someone who works and thinks all the time like a director.

Meanwhile, in the “film” story, we are in 1920s Bombay! Hrithik is the spoiled son of a department store family, just returned from a lengthy European education and grand tour. His lovable grandfather Naseeruddin Shah wants him to get serious and prepare to take over the store. He needs to control the employees, make them fear him. And the first step is to fire someone, at random. Naseeruddin has picked the perfect person, a recently hired saleswoman in the hat department. Hrithik intends to fire her, goes up to talk to her in front of everyone, but then the fire alarm goes off. They end up running for the same exit, and then locked in an emergency exit hallway together. Misunderstanding, Sanya assumes he is a stock boy, Hrithik is too awkward feeling and just goes with it. They play games and make friends, and Sanya feels bad because Hrithik said he doesn’t know anyone in the city and invites him home to meet her landlords (Anil and Juhi, of course) and have dinner.

Complications keep happening, Sanya thinks Hrithik is a nice young stock boy who was fired by the terrible mean new son of the store owner. She tries to find him a new job, loans him money, brings him food, is generally sweet and loving and forgiving and generous and of course Hrithik falls in love with her. But can’t seem to get himself out of all the lies. Especially when Kareena shows up, his childhood friend and daughter of a rival department store owner who was always understood to be his fiancee.

In the present, Kareena finally tracks down Sanya and talks to her about how she and Hrithik were so young, but she sees him with Sanya now and it is something entirely different. They belong together, because they are so different. They lead interesting lives and share those lives, instead of Kareena and Hrithik who just stayed together because there was no challenge and it was easy. Sanya finally stops worrying and decides she should just talk to Hrithik and rushes to look for him.

Meanwhile, Juhi has returned from visiting her son in America and goes to talk to Hrithik in a motherly way, tells him he needs to stop wondering how Sanya feels and giving her space and just tell her how he feels, honestly, and see what she says. Hrithik also rushes to look for Sanya and finds her at the set they are building for the train station finale of the movie they are prepping.

At the same time, in the movie storyline, Sanya has learned the truth about Hrithik in the worst possible way when his grandfather publicly announced him as the new store manager, and Kareena as his fiancee. She rushed out of the room and ran straight home to pack and go to the train station to return to her village. Meanwhile, what she doesn’t know, is that it was her inspiration that made Hrithik become store manager. He stood up to his grandfather and said he didn’t want to manage by fear, it wouldn’t work. He wants to have an employee fun day and sponsor games and treats and so on, make the employees like him and like their jobs, not fear it. His grandfather was thrilled, he just wanted Hrithik to find himself and stand up for himself, now he can retire. Anyway, when Hrithik sees Sanya run out, he starts to run after her, Naseeruddin stops him, then Kareena stops Naseeruddin and explains that Sanya is Hrithik’s real love, the woman who inspired all these changes. She hopes someday she can find someone who can change everything for her like that.

At the same train station, at the same time, past and present Sanya and Hrithik both meet. And past-present Hrithiks say in unison, “Will you marry me?” and past-present Sanya’s say “Yes!”

Intercut weddings follow. Sanya and Hrithik marry at the courthouse with Juhi and Anil and Kareena as witnesses, and fictional Sanya and Hrithik marry in a massive ceremony with all the leaders of Bombay society making nice to Sanya because they are afraid of Naseeruddin (who is smiling in the background and glaring at the old biddies to make sure they are nice). And at both weddings, Kareena trips on her sari, and a stranger reaches out and helps her up and says “can I help you?”, and it’s Saif! Clearly her perfect match she had been waiting for.

Now, triquel! Post-marriage, Sanya tries to be a Star Wife and stop working and Hrithik can’t understand what she is doing.

Shraddha-Varun Romance We Have Been Waiting For

Varun and Shraddha are actual childhood friends, and have this great fun teasing chemistry onscreen. And yet their two films together, ABCD2 and Street Dancer 3D, haven’t given us enough of that sweet sweet romance!

Anyway, I came up with a plot idea for them! Shraddha and Varun are childhood friends (duh). Their father’s are best friends who bought houses next door to each other. Varun is always falling in love and getting into problems, and Shraddha fearlessly bails him out by doing stuff like pretending to be a waitress and sneaking into a restaurant to lend him money to pay the bill so he doesn’t lose face in front of his newest crush. And Varun helps Shraddha when she does things like sneak into an old building to paint graffitti, because she is fearless.

Both of them are in trouble because Varun’s family is sick of his love affairs and give him an ultimatum, either he gets engaged to a girl of his choice or they are picking for him within three months. And Shraddha’s family tells her she can’t go to London for her dream dance program unless she is married first. Easy solution, they’ll get married! They stay teasing friends straight through the wedding, going humorously over the top in public to prove how in love they are to their parents, and then in private making jokes and stealing food from the caterers to eat together on the roof and stuff.

And then, on the Honeymoon that their parents paid for, Varun falls in love. For real real this time, he promises. A nice white girl who works at the resort but will be returning home to London soon. He introduces her to Shraddha and they joke about the situation. But it starts to feel different once they are in London. Varun has the job his Dad lined up for him, and his white girlfriend. Shraddha loves her dance program but hates coming home to an empty house. Plus, now they have an actual shared house. Shraddha’s aunt comes to visit the first week they are in London which means Varun and Shraddha had to work together to decorate the house, and it really feels like a home. But now the aunt is gone, and Shraddha keeps coming back at night to see the furniture they picked out together, and the old photos of them together, and no Varun. She throws herself more and more into her dancing (Dance of TORMENT) and applies for another program in Prague.

What she doesn’t know is that Varun is having similar feelings. He is struggling at the office, and the white girlfriend doesn’t seem to understand. She just doesn’t know him well enough, she keeps saying the wrong thing when he expresses his worries. He thinks maybe he actually wants to be a chef, and he secretly quits his job and joins a training program at a restaurant. His white girlfriend is furious that he made this big illogical life decision without thinking it through. He was confident that Shraddha would support him, but now he starts to doubt it. Especially when she seems so sure of herself and what she wants. So he is out every night until 2 or 3am at his restaurant job and Shraddha thinks he is partying with the white girl, and he drags out of bed to make Shraddha breakfast every morning and she never says “thank you” so he thinks she doesn’t even respect him.

It doesn’t last long (we want this to be a fun and HAPPY movie, after all), Shraddha ends up going to Varun’s restaurant with her class and, after him hiding a bit, she finally recognizes him through his food and tracks him down in the kitchen and they have a late night walk/song through the streets of London talking it out. Varun loves cooking and has a chance to open a restaurant with a friend in London. And Shraddha has her Prague opportunity. But how can they get their families to agree? Only one answer, Divorce!

Return to India! Both of them go home for a visit at their respective houses, declaring the marriage is over. Wacky hijinks as they create increasingly exaggerated stories of the disaster of their marriage, and their parents keep trying to throw them together. They sneak back and forth across the roofs to compare notes on the plan. And they also start to get kind of sentimental, helped along by stuff like their families forcing them to do Karwa Chauth and Shraddha listening to the other wives talking about why they want to fast for their husbands and realizing she appreciates what Varun does for her, and Varun hearing the husband’s side about all the hidden sacrifices women make and thinking about what Shraddha does for him. It ends when they do actually sign the divorce papers, but then realize they love each other. And Shraddha pulls one last prank, to sneak into the airport and on the plane dressed as a stewardess in order to talk to Varun. They finally kiss in the service station of the plane, cut to outside of the plane flying through the sky as the clouds write out “Happy Ending…..”